[Cosmosdex] The Universal Encyclopedia



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“Don't.” — Testudatlan

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  • Strength-20
  • Intelligence-20
  • Charisma-20
  • Endurance-30
  • Agility-1
  • Luck-10

Age: Unknown
Size: 33300 ft tall
Species: Testudatlan

Job: None
Likes: The bare essence of existence
Dislikes: None
Notable contributions: Fixture of an entire planet, has possibly existed since its world began

[Pacifist] Neutral trait
Will not attack anything unless attacked.
[Unreadable] Neutral trait
This character does not portray emotions unless they do so deliberately, and is hard to read. In a more literal sense, they are impossible to photograph.
[Vigilant] Positive trait
Perceives things and makes judgments quickly.
[Adaptive] Positive trait
Where do you let a six-mile-long tortoise sleep? Anywhere it wants.
[Cryptic] Negative trait
When they wish to, speaks in a way that deliberately confuses or misleads.
[Destructive] Negative trait
Probably too big to use basic hand tools.
[Watcher] Mystery trait
They're watching. And they always will be.

Original Creator: greatwheatshrike

Physical Description

Testudatlan is the only creature of their kind. They are a several-miles-long tortoise creature whose extremities remain partially submerged beneath the surface of the Real Yermo land. When they move, great canyons and lakebeds are formed. Testudatlan has an extremely hooked bill which swirls over itself hundreds of times into the point of a pin. On their back is an nigh-impenetrable shell made of both the finest and the most commonplace materials blended in a fine tapestry, all of which can chip or flake off selectively by force.

Their stomach is also capable of selecting what it digests and what it allows to remain; an indoor marine biome exists within them as well as a few individual mendicants of various species. It is likely that Testudatlan has only four appendages and a tail, but this cannot be confirmed. Their tail curls like a soledade's, but it is at least thirty miles long. Its total length cannot be confirmed because the end sticks into the ground. They are capable of draining ponds and lakes by using them for a drink, but will avoid doing so if it would kill creatures. It is impossible to take any sort of realistic picture of Testudatlan as any picture fails to capture anything.


Stories from as far back as the beginning of Real Yermo say that this giant and clever creature has predated every one of them. These stories all mention that one should avoid the world tortoise if they wish it any harm, as it is capable of bringing instant destruction to them. Testudatlan says that they wish to simply absorb the essence of living, and that they are perfectly okay with continuing to live in peace as time and the world allows them to. If any element of the world approaches them to threaten them, they will destroy it. If the element is a collective element, such as a community that wishes to go to war with them or the land, they will make their way to that community to raze it, mixing its inhabitants' feeble attempts at conquering nature with the soil.

Any who wish to seek riches from Testudatlan by taking from its shell are likely killed within an instant, unless Testudatlan looks into the being of their situation and takes pity. Those who mean no harm are capable of living on the back or in the stomach of Testudatlan in peace.

Testudatlan professes to have an impeccable memory. Having assumedly lived since the dawn of things, this means they are a keeper of the whole of Real Yermo's history and all knowledge relating to it. They are capable of telling grand and beautiful stories which intimately interweave a person's history and the history of their surroundings; stories that move listeners to primal states. Despite the allure that talking to a near boundless fount of knowledge to solve one's personal problems presents, it is absolutely NOT recommended that you ask Testudatlan for advice.

They see taking the shortcut to gaining the riches of their accumulated knowledge as no different from attempting to steal physical riches from their shell. They will likely see some of your flaws and judge you as lacking in some regard. The knowledge they dispense and the advice they give you will be true, but crafted in a way so as to bring about failure or madness. Much like them allowing you to co-exist in physical space, it is only safe for one to have knowledge or a story shared with them if you are able to successfully coexist in the same neutral mindspace. If they offer knowledge or stories to you, it is likely safe to accept as they initiate no first violence.


Testudatlan exists.

Testudatlan has always existed.

Testudatlan will always exist.


Load-bearer: Testudatlan says that they are a "load bearer," and if they were to be "taken away" in any form, the entire order of things around them would collapse upon the inflicter of harm in ways no one in existence could possibly imagine. When asked to elaborate, they became silent while a small cloud began to drizzle upon the asker.


• The full nickname of Testudatlan is, The Great Cultivator, Boundless In Their Wisdom, Temperate in All Actions, Steady and Unyielding as The Forward March of Tim.

• Despite their longevity and stature, Testudatlan asks the inhabitants of Real Yermo to not think of them as a god.

• A former hermit who lived upon a mound on Testudatlan's shell alleges that Testudatlan will blow all the creatures from the soil in front of where it steps to avoid taking the lives of anything larger than a speck, since the simple unassuming things of the world are minding their business and are in fact living better than so-called higher organisms, who are always getting ideas into their heads.

• If you happen to get ideas into your head that involve Testudatlan, just remember: don't.

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