[Cosmosdex] The Universal Encyclopedia



Bulldozers / Fast Food

“100% grass, my pooler. Always 100% all the time.” — ANGUSBUS MAXIDEATH.

Art by, greatwheatshrike

Part of the Zodiac collection

Emblem by Artem1s
  • Strength-8
  • Intelligence-2
  • Charisma-1
  • Endurance-7
  • Agility-8
  • Luck-0

Common Jobs: Transportation, Mechanic
Likes: Eatin' grass and drivin' fast
Dislikes: Poor terrain, Waystays

Attack Method: Full-speed ramming and drive-bys with built-in weapons.

Homeplanet: Unknown/Not Important
Lifespan: 20
Size: 9 ft tall, 15 ft long
Diet: Plants

Bodytype: Quadruped
Type: Mecha Mammal
Social Class: Low Class
Rarity: Rare
Common Traits
[Fill 'Er Up] Neutral trait
Depending on how recently the character has eaten, they may have anywhere from +2 to -2 from their base agility. They may eat an extra ration to keep at +2 for longer.
[Pack Mule] Positive trait
This character can carry +4 more than what their stats would normally allow.
[Bored Eater] Negative trait
This character will consume rations when they have nothing to do. When they don't have jobs or hobbies to keep themselves busy with, this character will empty food stocks quickly.

Horns is a legendary figure in BVo9 history who rode down from a mountain and gave BVo9 ancestors knowledge of claybersporting to outrun competitors, as well as the instruction to Go Fast. Horns is honored by the common reverential phrase "Hooko Horns."

Gods: Horns

Original Creator: greatwheatshrike

Physical Description

BVo9 are a genetically-engineered livestock species who give themselves numerous external and internal augmentations. Most notably, at maturation age, BVo9 have their claw-laden legs amputated below the knee, replaced by prosthetic sockets. These sockets can be capped by pistonlike appendages with pneumatic grippers, or they may lock into customized four-wheel-drive truck chassis.

Most have had a tough rubberlike fiber coat installed with various tools, mechanical upgrades, and cosmetic tweaks impulsively added on for performance improvement or because they would "look cool." Most of their tails have also been cut off, replaced with a dexterous claw that allows them to reach objects on their back, to shift their external boost-motors, and to swat flies. They have nine stomachs. This allows them to produce a digestive biofuel from a diet of grass and brush and enables them to go fast.


BVo9 love to drive fast. They enjoy going fast, and being fast. Despite their crazed appearance and constant movement, they generally have easy-going outlooks on life, requiring nothing more than grass and an open road. They speak in dense lingo. For instance, "waystays" are obstructing people, things or events that are staying in the way of their continued moving around. At most they get mildly annoyed and move around a waystay. They gather into groups to race or do stunts as a pasttime to vie for social status. They don't need any reason to roam around. However, if you ask them for a ride or to carry out an errand or mission, they will be more than happy to do so for the added sense of purpose. They are initially trusting of strangers; however, if betrayed enough times, they will organize a Hell Raid against their enemy. BVo9 relish the state of fastness.

If infected by clockwork, an individual of this species will [Overclock], meaning they will automatically expend their energy rapidly and burn out, permanently disabling them.


The ancestors of BVo9, referred to as "early models," were an often-predated land-prey on Berpus, a planet containing many fast fauna. Their earliest guessed-upon model, BVo1, relied on their relative durability and herd behavior to marginally survive as a species. At some point, one group of early models adopted the practice of adopting "clayber shells," likely after one individual fell into a pit of a wet clay-and-rubber-like substance. These clayber shells, when dried, not only gave the beasts extra protection from predators but also enabled them to roll around in balls with quick leg thrusts in order to more easily escape or bowl into predators. This gave them (now BVo2) an evolutionary advantage that allowed their range to spread across the world's main continent in its wilder environs.

Eventually, the dominant species of Berpus, a cliff-and-plains-dwelling sapient species named the matatos noticed this. Technologically, matatos had developed to the point harnessing bioelectric fauna for electrical power and to the point of biogas combustion engines, and had made significant progress in chemistry, yet rarely ventured beyond their region of settlement due to the danger that the outback presented. One matatos had the inspiration to trap BVo2 for use as a kind of natural turbine, and possibly to use their hides as a travel shell for continental expeditions.

This resulted in the domestication/imprisonment of many BVo2 and the over hunting of the rest locally. Experiments were performed on the BVo2, and it was discovered that the chemical makeup of BVo2 blood after mixing with their digestive slurry shared several similarities to one of the biogas fuels, and matatos geneticists began a century-long breeding, genetic engineering, and mutation program with the domesticated early models in order to harvest BVo2 blood directly into fuel. In this time, the matotos began spreading across the continent. They eventually overhunted the rest of the wild BVo2 in trying to keep up with demand for hide-shells. However, a niche breakthrough in fuel research, paired with chassis technologies the matatos developed from new ores they found across the continent, allowed them to adapt mutated BVo5s back home to make loyal and fast riding steeds, with four clayber discs where their feet should have been.

Bvo6s were seen as being okay with this arrangement at first, because they smiled when they went fast. They didn't know any better. Until suddenly, they did know better, and tracked down all of the matatos to run them over. It took sixty years from the creating of the BVo6 for the matatos to produce a sapient and unusually smart BVo7, five years for the first batch of BVo7 to escape, two years for them to organize amongst themselves, then four months to free every single BVo6 while ridding Berpus of the matatos almost completely. The last hundred or so were scattered about and did not have enough numbers to repopulate.

BVo8 now pretty much had the planet to themselves, except for the other fauna on the planet, but they could leave them in peace, or at most tease them a bit for not being fast or strong enough to them. The works and technology of the matatos had been left behind for their benefit, though they did not understand most of it. A caste of enginesteers, hoping to preserve the intelligence of the leaders of the BVo7, did their best at mechanical upkeep of the main BV social activity, driving. They also repurposed much of the technology based on workarounds for what they could not understand from matatos' original designs to gradually bring BVo8 to their current form of BVo9. The culture has reached a kind of equilibrium for the past hundred or so years, trading in a bit of former intelligence for maximum speed. They have all they want, which is to keep on moovin'.


Enginesteers: A caste of slightly more learned BVo9 who mostly use their specialized prosthetic limbs to perform necessary maintenance of BVo9 society. They usually roll around the old fashioned way, or hitch rides on other BVo9. What they lack in ground speed they make up for in hand-speed, and can change a tire in less than 30 seconds. The secret to their intelligence is that they read a book once in a while instead of driving around all day.




Ariesa: BVo9 enjoy getting into ramming matches with moon ariesa. It is up to individuals in the moon ariesa to understand that these are just for fun; if they take it personally, a small-scale feud may break out. This uncertain diplomatic situation is complicated by BVo9 being willing to offer their services to sun ariesa for protection and convenience, moon ariesa may see BVo9's intrusion as an attempt to edge them out of their traditional role as protectors of sun ariesa. As such, sun ariesa approach BVo9 warily, since cooperating with BVo9 too much may upset their peace. If a section of ariesa society is able to tread this fine line successfully, a relationship with the BVo9 can benefit both ariesa types greatly.

Gemimi: They love to talk about grass together. BVo9 believe that the puppets on the back of a gemimi are real people hitching a ride on that gemimi. They will have a conversation with the gemimi using the puppets as a go-between, asking the puppets how the gemimi is doing in order to talk about grass, the easy life, how their gemimi is treating them, and the like. Young BVo9 who do not have their chassis yet, or older ones who prefer to wear the traditional clay-rubber shell, love to ask gemimi for a race. BVo9 are one of the rare species that prefer gemimi's traditional practice of hauling around carcasses instead of puppets because it's choice.

While on a personal scale a gemimi and BVo9 get along, gemimis and BVo9s are historically poor with working with each other. They both will be happy to work with each other on major scale projects, only for it to go horribly wrong and for another species from the limbo system having to come in and clean up the mess. It has been agreed that if the gemimis and BVo9s ever agree to a big project, that someone should either oversee it before both of their imaginations get in the way, or that the project should be voted to be declined.

Carcili: BVo9 are too damn loud; keep the music down, I'm trying to sleep here. Even BVo9 who end up in a carcili's dream end up giving a rowdy and unpleasant dream with lots of bad music, making it hard for a carcili to focus on calming a BVo9 down. BVo9 see carcili as too watery, you can't race a water creature so what's the point of them? Rare individuals of each have been reported to trade protection from other predatory carcili for drug gel (to be ingested on special war raids). Also, there are rumors that a group of BVo9 that visited Bellidae became established somewhere in the planet's depths. Individuals equipped for the trip were fashioned with pleasant whalesong and radar ping modifications. How this trip could have been a success is a mystery, as information about it is sparse.

Giant eel-like creatures are a common symbol in BVo9 culture, though no one can explain why.

Leo: BVo9 are seen as potentially dangerous, but manageable to leos, while leos are seen as loud (the good kind) and loud (the bad kind). BVo9 and leos share the same view on the need for alpha leadership, and as such, individuals of each species may try to draft members of the other species into local leadership disputes.

Virgora: BVo9 make up faithful patronage groups of many different virgora singers, as the cow cars love to listen to their death metal screams while driving fast and doing stunts. Some BVo9 have murals of virgora singers who died too soon painted-in-mural on the side of their body near other decals. BVo9 also love the raw appearance of uncloaked virgora. Virgora are ambivalent about this, on one hand cherishing that someone thinks they're "cool" and "raw beef 100%;" on the other hand, they are a bit put off for the reason BVo9 think they're cool and are also made anxious of how much BVo9 can get carried away with their enthusiasm and with how careless they can get in spreading the image a virgora's hidden likeness.

Libraille: Most BVo9 are too loud and rowdy for your average libraille's temperment. If a libraille can get past the thickheaded boorishness of a BVo9 and find the structure lying behind in a BVo9's outward rambunctiousness, they may find someone that is able to both test them and provide them with a harmless spectacle to emotionally unwind.

BVo9 see libraille as both boring and 'doing it all wrong' with regards to their mechanical augmentations, as they waste energy that could be spend going fast by staying in the air. However a small portion of the enginesteer caste readily cooperate with libraille to great effect, sharing technology and resources to the benefit of both species. Additionally, there are rumors that a few BVo9 have allowed themselves to be mechanically merged with libraille temporarily to make really fast jetcars, and that those BVo9 had the time of their lives.

Skokakrio: Do not get BVo9 and skokarios together. They enable each others' worst destructive impulses. BVo9 are often bored, looking for something to do and excited at the prospect of being part of something intense; skokarios are more than willing to conscript a few BVo9 to help them carry out a mission against one of their many grudges. If ones sees any groups of BVo9 and skokarios congregating, they should either try to break it up or run away as quickly as possible, as this almost always means that some serious nonsense is about to go down.

Sagittari: The history of the BVo9 as a chattel species has left in the corner of their minds an instinctual aversion to anything that may try to control them. The rare instances where a sagittari attacked a BVo9, managed to pierce their hide, and became a mobile sagittari Propagation Unit (complete automated arrow cannons, easily fashioned from available parts) have created a lingering distrust of any sagittari (especially ones requiring host) from getting too close to them. If any BVo9 notices that another BVo9 is host to a sagittari, they will team up with other BVo9 to kill the sagittari. Because of this, sagittari know that spending too much time around a BVo9 will be unpleasant at best, and that taking a BVo9 as a host will lead to a short rest-of-life.

Kapricanus: BVo9 and kapricornus are too compatible. They are both brutal, destructive nomadic species given to roaming the land in roaming packs. Individuals and groups from each species readily integrate into the other species' clans in order to complement a unit's offensive and defensive capabilities and total tactical range. From time to time, a kapricornus will eat a weaker or slower BVo9 alive; other BVo9 do not seem to take much offense at this and meet it with a shrug since, well, there are much duller ways to die.

Duckarium: BVo9 are friends to the duckarium, as duckariums are good at fixing things and are the most noble riders they can think of, as they even come with their own helmets. Some BVo9 have decals or murals of swasks imprinted on their coats or their garage walls. Duckariums, on the other hand, are iffy about being near BVo9 as they are loud, give off noxious gasses, and are a hazard to any younglings that are waddling nearby. BVo9 are not allowed in certain duckarium 'children safety zones' (actually, there are simply very slow speed limits there, which amounts to a ban) and duckarium law only allows a duckarium to ride a BVo9 after having reached a certain age and passing a skills test. A historic attempt to make a bus out of BVo9 for duckarium ducklings ended in tragedy.

Aqualisces: Individuals of these two species would occasionally form a sort of symbiotic relationship where BV09s are used as motorized steeds and the aqualisces acting as convenient mechanics to BV09s. Due to an aqualisces's size, endurance, tendency to migrate, and ability to stubbornly stick to surfaces, they make an excellent buddy to the common BV09. Of course, BV09s would have to learn to mind their passenger during high-speed situations and trust the aqualisces not to hurt BV09s precious bodily equipment. While the development of this bond can be a mildly difficult process, the trust that the two species could forge together would make their teamwork a force to be reckoned with. Most BV09s at this point would be completely down with playing an assisting role in aqualisces' killing old folks since the goal would fulfill a sense of purpose within the BV09. However, BV09s as a whole prefer Outside-Ins since they look more interesting and are fast enough to race with. This positive outlook of their natural form is proven to help Inside-Outs to gradually come out of their shell until they become Outside-Ins. While this would result in the loss of a goal (exterminating the elderly), the duo is usually much happier for it. However, this rehabilitation process doesn't happen for every pair.

On a worldwide level, some aqualisces work as traveling engineers on Berpus to create and sell augmentations to the BV09s and, to a smaller amount, their aqualisces partners. On the aqualisces's homeplanets, BV09s usually don't form close bonds with the species and would help aqualisces with hauling supplies to migrate to new areas.


• The BV in BVo9 stands for BEEFTHRUST VELOCITY. This matches the naming convention of BVo9: two names in all caps, followed by a period. This helps for shouting purposes.

• It is difficult for BVo9 to fit through the doors of many space ships without either partially disassembling them or having them go through bomb bay doors. Accommodations should be made if you plan to bring one with you, as well as extra plant rations. They will appreciate it, and thank you by going faster.

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