[Cosmosdex] The Universal Encyclopedia
[Cosmosdex]
Scribble
Scraebl / Skrombel
Scribble
No art currently, maybe you can help
Type: Feline
Domains: All, None, Chaos, Salami, Cats, You, Me, Nobody, Tuna, Quantum Particle Theory
Associations: Cats, Cats, cats, Cats, The inevitable heat death of the universe, Abbaye De Belloc, Gra vy aaaaaaaaaaa, Tuna again
Summary: Scribble is an incomprehensible thing. If it exists at all, it's advised to try to avoid it at all costs. Whether or not it's really a god is truly unknown, but whatever it is, it toys with reality like a cat plays with a dead mouse. Scribble is unknowable, unpredictable, inconsistent, like some sort of cruel joke. An error.
Traits
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAA AAAAAAA A AAAAAA
AAA A AA AAAAAAA AA AA A AA A A AAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA AAA AAA
AAA A AA AAA AAAAAAA A AAA
AAA.... B. :)
Worship
Mostly impossible to say, worship of scribble almost never starts willingly. Those who claim to worship Scribble do so due to a life-reconstructing event in their past, and never are they the same. They seem to revel in whatever odd blessings Scribble has forced upon them, with very few consistencies. Anti worshippers associate themselves with fungi, specifically mushrooms, as much as possible, due to the fact that apparently, Scribble is scared of mushrooms.
Common Worshippers: There is seemingly no correlation between who worships scribble and who doesn't, however, the total worshippers of scribble have a statistically abnormal number of people who are allergic to air freshener chemicals.
Common Anti-Worshippers: People who interacted with Scribble and HATED it, 1/2700th of all people named John.
Original Creator: Scribble :)
Presence
Ok, listen. I know as dex writers we're supposed to be really objective, and scientific, and formal but I'm so sick of this article. I've rewritten it 4 times in the past week because of how we keep finding out that EVERYTHING IN THE ARTICLE IS WRONG!
So, for its presence? No idea! Scribble is incomprehensible. It's literally unable to be comprehended, according to those that see it. It looks like a cat. A cat with no head, or no neck? It's inconsistent. Or it's a blender, a glowy one. Nobody knows, nobody knows at all. Some people think it looks 2D, some say it's 3D, others 5D, whatever that even looks like. There are always very very few consistencies.
Always, ALWAYS, Feline.
Feline is the only word people have to describe it. Its voice is apparently neither masculine nor feminine, it's feline. It meows loudly and also screams nonsense about RADIOS and GRAVY. It sounds like TV static and looks like TV static. A glowing cat, with no face. Some people claimed they saw it like an anime girl??
I'm so sure that Scribble is just some sort of mass hallucination because nothing ever lines up except "cat." It's never mentioned in any sort of religious texts, even the people who worship it aren't sure what it is or what they saw. It sounds and feels like a BADLY WRITTEN JOKE.
My boss says I have to, though. This article is my assignment. Every week a new sighting comes out, and it turns out everything we thought was wrong, so I'm done with trying to describe this cat-shaped hole in the universe, that probably isn't even a thing.
If anything, ever, EVER could be used to describe Scribble, without fail, consistently, it's 'inconsistent' and 'unpredictable'. Every time we find a new thing that we're sure is the upper limit to this nonexistent cat's twisted game with our reality, it bypasses that rule time and time again. We finally find consistent proof that maybe, maybe, this is all true, and this thing exists, more proof comes out to vouch that everything we thought was wrong. It's the everlasting inaccuracy. The edge of what we think a mind is, the very limit of mortal comprehension.
And instead of claiming it's a massive tentacle horror made of a thousand eyes and a million teeth, all screaming and writhing
EVERYONE SAYS
IT'S A CAT
I don't believe it. I dont want to.
Disposition
Many people have seen or heard Scribble in their lives. Often it's the blame for a random disappearance of a random object in their home, other times it appears to them and begins talking, randomly. How Scribble acts is almost as inconsistent as to how it appears, however, this inconsistency is almost what makes it identifiable. Feline, once again, is the word that comes up most often, but that's it. Some claim it sat still, and watched them. Others claimed it tried to act like a judge in an abstract court case, making multiple of itself to act as the jury. Whether or not it starts screaming sounds of static, claiming that the radio is trying to eat it, or explaining to you why GRAVY is a key factor in one of the UNIVERSAL LAWS OF PHYSICS, is entirely entirely unknown.
It acts like a tv monitor that broke and now displays random pixels everywhere, with no sense of pattern or consistency. Many people who've seen Scribble claim that it's not even sentient. And if I believe in this "cat" at all, I'd think that's the most accurate thing here! This doesn't give me a feeling of a creature that thinks, It feels like one of those chatbots that form random strings of words for no reason other than our amusement but apply that to some 6th-dimensional scale or something. Words but concepts, lights, reality, WHATEVER.
But we can't even be sure of THAT! Other people who see it claim that it's gone on long conversations about super existential concepts, entirely lucidly, or actually LISTEN to them, giving them what they want without strings attached, at all. My advice? Ignore it all. If this thing is even real, don't risk it. There are so many more cases of something horrible apparently happening than there are things good. Scribble is an agent of chaos, but chaos is an understatement. It's like chaos layered over itself a hundred times. So chaotic that sometimes it's a normal, entirely mundane cat. Some notail once claimed that Scribble acted like a normal cat for him for almost his entire life, until it just vanished one day. Another notail named claimed it bothered her every day, randomly, constantly claiming that it was the judge of the real and unreal while stalking her. Is there any correlation between these claims? No. Has anyone claimed similar things? No. There's no pattern to this. It's meaningless.
Scribble is meaningless. No two claims ever line up. This is why I think its some twisted mass hallucination. This can't make sense. NONE OF THIS makes sense. EVER. [START OF LOG - DATE 12/7/18839]. [END OF LOG - DATE 11/48/1998389981398708 I DON'T CARE.]
Why does it care so much about radios?? Its only desire in this universe seems to be stealing random household objects, melting mortal minds, eating cat food, and having "INTENSE STAIRDOWNS"
WHAT'S A STAIRDOWN? ANSWER ME P-CLASS IDIOT WHO MADE ME REWRITE THIS ARTICLE. WHAT IS A STAIR DOWN.
The more reports come in about Scribble sightings, and the more I have to edit this article due to everything we THINK we know being wrong, the more I'm going to have a godblessed breakdown.
Listen, I know that I'm supposed to be, like, SUPER detailed when writing a God article, and trust me I used to be, but it's impossible to be detailed anymore with THIS. THING.
Scribble is mind-melting in all forms of description.
Acts
Acts. Things scribble has done. Notable ones.
Literally nothing. OR maybe everything? Who knows! Maybe the entire universe was created by Scribble!
Commonly reported Scribble acts are things being replaced with other things. Things being removed entirely. Spontaneous replacement of all of your house's cheese with Abbaye de Belloc. Truth be told, like everything else here, Scribble's acts are inconsistent.
Reportedly, it turned a notail into a monike, but then she got better. It also apparently replaced an ENTIRE GALAXY with a single egg, not a galaxy-sized egg, just a normal egg. Nobody has found this egg, but SOMEONE claimed that it did that. It blew someone up but brought them back! It quantum shifted a tweep's brain into gravy! It removed the entire concept of cookies for someone, so they're unable to perceive cookies!
Do you know how this all sounds? It sounds like a joke, but that's not the point of this article.
Creator of tuna. Apparently one day it wrote tuna into history past and future. Yes, the fish. Tuna. Can we prove that, if it altered the past? No! Apparently, it's the CEO of windowsills! Apparently X! Apparently Y! Apparently it's everything! What does that MEAN? It manifests polaroid photos of bass in people's houses! It turned a group of random people into anime girls, whatever the hell that means, but then changed them back? There's no rhyme or reason, it just does! And more often than not, it does so screaming.
Scribble's acts are common acts of randomness in the universe. It apparently doesn't even need to be somewhere to cause something to happen. Often plays on words, Scribble will take what someone said literally, and then make it happen. Other times it won't. As mentioned earlier, Scribble is commonly attributed to random household objects going missing. Worshippers claim that it's gathering them for some unknown plan in the future. Anti-worshippers claim that it's just a dirty thief, trying to ruin the day of whoever it is. Everyone else claims that the previous two groups just blame scribble whenever they misplace something. The entire scenario is a universe-wide mess that for some reason I'm stuck in.
I want a different job.
Scribble is commonly the blame of a lot of otherwise inexplicable events. Some claim it's the source of all of the anomalies that arent obviously linked to any one god. Some claim it's the creator of all that exists, ever. Some claim that it's entropy given a lack of a form. Nobody agrees because nobody knows. It's truest act? Driving everyone mad. Driving everyone mad while not existing. at all.
Cults
The Scribes: If the universe was a book, and everything in it was a single word, a written sentence, or a concept, then Scribble is a, well, scribble of a cat written in the margin. That's what this cult claims, at least, though they can never seem to agree on anything else. This name has changed a dozen times in the last few months alone. Scribes seem to follow Scribble, either because they heard tales of its seemingly limitless reality warping capabilities and decided that it's the "one true god," or because they claim it appeared one day and now they can only see the color blue, or whatever else that thing might do.
Scribes don't exactly have rituals or anything dedicated to Scribble, given that anything they might do would be inconsistently useful, because yet again, nothing about this CAT SHAPED HOLE makes any goddamn sense. I don't know why they're even considered a cult, they're more like a group of confused friends with a similar interest, that being their fascination with Scribble. Somehow, scribes always end up with like a thousand anomalies for some reason or another.
Cheese Entheusiasts: This is a small subset of the scribes, which is more or less the same, except they focus personally on transcribing "the word of Scribble" in the cheese of the day. Abbaye de Belloc. Every day. Always the same cheese. This has to be some SICK JOKE.
Ever since I got this stupid job as a dex editor, I've never been able to look at cheese the same way. All I see is this blessed cat, whenever I eat cheese all I can think of is "Cheese of the day: Abbaye de Belloc". When will it end??!!?
Anti-Cults
The Scratchers: If Scribble is a misplaced splatter of ink on a page, then you can't simply erase it, you need to scratch the ink away. Sure, it might rip the page or damage it, but it's better than having such an error. That's what the scratchers say. They're a bit more organized than their counterpart, the Scribes, but they still OBVIOUSLY can't decide on anything. Especially not the name. (Scratchers? Really? It certainly doesn't roll off the tongue.) More often than not, members of this cult are people who claimed to have an encounter with Scribble, be it a life-reconstructing event like sending them to "eternal yamnation," just something plain annoying like appearing and screaming radio sounds for an hour, or whatever else this "cat" would do to someone. These people are ALMOST reasonable, I mean who WOULDN'T hate this BLESSED UNIVERSE HOLE if it was real?!
Scratchers become unreasonable in how much they dedicate to trying to destroy Scribble. Usually they focus too much on the abstract and random, and also a lot on mushrooms because yeah trapping the omnipotent cat in "the fungal land" is sure to nullify it makes sense. Scratchers and Scribes have similar practices that make little to no sense, so it's easy to get them confused if you don't notice that scratchers are always way more angry.
Also, for some reason, 0.4% of people named John are scratchers, even if they've never heard of Scribble. It's bullshit.
Creations
Who knows??!!? What HASNT this stupid 12-year-old's mary sue OC created? Apparently it made Tuna! And is the god of gravy or something like that! Makes no sense because apparently it "can't interact with people who are named after foods because it is not in the cookbook" so if it's not on the same plane of the universe as food-related things why is it so obsessed with gravy and cheese??!
The Universe could be a creation of Scribble for all WE know. Maybe the godblessed NEO ITSELF is just Scribble's toy! OH I KNOW, the WHOLE MYth of THE START OF EVERYTHING, You know, Scribble made EXISTENCE or SOMETHING!!! I don't know! Yams, trapezoids, all of the things we barely understand or look weird. The concept of eating honey, cats, whatever! Scribble worshippers claim that it's made SO MANY MUNDANE THINGS THAT HAVE EXISTED FOREVER.
I used to try to write all these things down in an orderly manner but the list became just, far far far too long. The holes in swiss cheese, entropy, "the lay", blue bellied skinks that have five legs,
Clock-themed pillows, sliced bread, the concept of poorly wrapped presents, the pun "check meow-t," mercury (The metal and the AI,) Partially refined crude oil, an incredibly specific shade of the color indigo. The holiday Impalement day on February 24 at 9:27 pm (A holiday which has no documented information anywhere in the universe??). Potatoes that have two brown spots on them. About 13 checkboard pattern blankets. Merengues. Earwigs, but only on thursdays. the list goes ON and ON AND ON!!!!
Supposedly, creations of scribble are all things that we've had our entire lives, and are entirely mundane to us. Supposedly, Scribble can simply alter all of history and decide something to exist. Supposedly, it has done this a LOT.
How can that be proven if it's literally altering the past, present, and future at will!? AUUUGHRH
Take this as you will, whoever is so unfortunate as to read this. You can look at this and decide to doubt all that you thought you ever knew because ANYTHING can be a Scribble creation APPARENTLY. If I were you, and KILL MY GODS do I wish I was, I wouldn't put much thought into it. I'm required to write this kind of thing though or I CAN'T PAY MY RENT THIS MONTH, so that's why it's here. Scribble this, Scribble that, It's EVERYWHERE. I've just been using this article to VENT more than I have actually written the dang thing, because said dang thing MAKES NO GODBLESSED SENSE!
Scribble's BEST creation is driving everyone fucking INSANE.
.... I made that same comment in the Acts section but its STILL TRUE
Demi Gods
Luckily, for me, and for the rest of the universe, Scribble has made literally only three "demigods", so this section can be quite short.
Or, at least, people have only ever claimed it made three.
One is "Centicat" or "Catopede" (name undecided), which is a fairly normal black cat save for the fact that it's an undocumented length with an undocumented amount of legs. Seriously, it ALWAYS goes just out of view at any time, and any attempts to follow its full length have resulted in it just, leaving. Gone. Otherwise, it's said to just, be a cat, like any other cat, except INFINITE I guess??
The second is just called "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" and nobody has ever seen it, only heard it. It sounds like a very loud scream put through a very old radio, resulting in significant audio grain. All 12 people who reported hearing "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" vanished shortly after making the report.
The last one is called "The Crab of Indemnification." There's literally no further information on this other than the name. I've tried going to some worshippers myself and asking what the shit this means and they only look away silently. I hate this fucking cat
Scribble demigods, from this information we have, are either slightly odd but otherwise mundane cats, incomprehensible anomalies which might be incredibly dangerous, or fucking nothing maybe.
It's just. It's just. I dont even KNOW. Theres no THEME or PATTERN here! What does indemnficiation even MEAN?
Special
EVERYTHING I GUESS: I used to write this section more detailed and professionally. I even gave the special things cool names! Like 'Chaos Engine,' or 'Infinite Improbability,' or 'Cat Manipulation,' but I gave up months ago. Scribble's special thing is whatever the hell it is. Never the same thing twice. Total unpredictable randomness, except the SOMETIMES WHERE IT MAKES A SMIDGEN OF SENSE. It can do anything, be anything, whatever, any time, ever. Probably if given an infinite amount of time it would do LITERALLY ALL OF THE THINGS. Everything possible, or impossible, literally just everything. It would like, destroy the entire universe, and then remake it except theres SEVEN NEOS or SOMETHING. Has it ever done something that wide scale? If it did we'd have no idea! There's never any proof of it!
Abbaye De Belloc
Abbaye De Belloc is a sauce, often made from the juices of meats that run naturally during cooking and often thickened with wheat flour or corn starch for added texture. The Abbaye De Belloc may be further coloured and flavored with Abbaye De Belloc salt (a simple mix of salt and caramel food colouring) or Abbaye De Belloc browning (Abbaye De Belloc salt dissolved in water) or ready-made cubes and powders can be used as a substitute for natural meat or vegetable extracts. Canned and instant gravies are also available. Abbaye De Belloc is commonly served with roasts, meatloaf, rice, noodles and mashed potatoes.
• Brown Abbaye De Belloc is the name for an Abbaye De Belloc made from the drippings from roasted meat or fowl. The drippings are cooked on the stovetop at high heat with onions or other vegetables, and then thickened with a thin mixture of water and either wheat flour or cornstarch.
• Cream Abbaye De Belloc or white Abbaye De Belloc is a bechamel typically used in biscuits and Abbaye De Belloc and chicken-fried steak. It is cooked with a roux being made of meat and or meat drippings and flour. Milk is added and thickened by the roux; once prepared, black pepper and bits of mild sausage or chicken liver are sometimes added. Besides cream and sawmill Abbaye De Belloc, common names include country Abbaye De Belloc, white Abbaye De Belloc, milk Abbaye De Belloc, and sausage Abbaye De Belloc.
• Egg Abbaye De Belloc is a variety of Abbaye De Belloc made starting with meat drippings (usually from bacon) followed by flour being used to make a thick roux. Water, broth, or milk is added and the liquid is brought back up to a boil, then salt and peppered to taste. A well-beaten egg is then slowly added while the Abbaye De Belloc is stirred or whisked swiftly, cooking the egg immediately and separating it into small fragments in the Abbaye De Belloc. Called rich man's Abbaye De Belloc in some areas of the universe.
• Giblet Abbaye De Belloc has the giblets of turkey or chicken added when it is to be served with those types of poultry, or uses stock made from the giblets.
• Mushroom Abbaye De Belloc is a variety of Abbaye De Belloc made with mushrooms.
• Onion Abbaye De Belloc is made from large quantities of slowly sweated, chopped onions mixed with stock or wine. Commonly served with bangers and mash, eggs, chops, or other grilled or fried meat which by way of the cooking method would not produce their own Abbaye De Belloc.
• Red-eye Abbaye De Belloc is an Abbaye De Belloc made from the drippings of ham fried in a skillet or frying pan. The pan is deglazed with coffee, giving the Abbaye De Belloc its name, and uses no thickening agent.
• Vegetable Abbaye De Belloc or vegetarian Abbaye De Belloc is Abbaye De Belloc made with boiled or roasted vegetables. A quick and flavourful vegetable Abbaye De Belloc can be made from any combination of vegetable broth or vegetable stock, flour, and one of either butter, oil, or margarine. One recipe uses vegetarian bouillon cubes with cornstarch (corn flour) as a thickener ("cowboy roux"), which is whisked into boiling water. Sometimes vegetable juices are added to enrich the flavour, which may give the Abbaye De Belloc a dark green colour. Wine could be added. Brown vegetarian Abbaye De Belloc can also be made with savoury yeast extract like Marmite or Vegemite. There are also commercially produced instant Abbaye De Belloc granules which are suitable for both vegetarians and vegans, though some of the leading brands are not marketed as being vegetarian.
• Chocolate Abbaye De Belloc is a variety of Abbaye De Belloc made with fat, flour, cocoa powder, and varying amounts of sugar.
Trivia
• So about the segment written directly above the trivia. Yeah I know you read it. Yeah it's entirely incomprehensible and unreadable. Some really really incessant Scribes demanded I put it in exactly as is for some reason, because supposedly it's really really important to Scribble for NEO KNOWS WHY. Honestly? I don't even care enough to try to explain it or tell them no, I'm just sorry you had to read it. FUCK my life and FUCK THIS CAT. FUCK EVEYRONE THAT THINKS THIS IS FUNNY ESPECIALLY
• Apparently, Scribble looks exactly as if it was drawn, as Scribble's appearance in the universe is as if it's a 2D image superimposed onto reality (EXCEPT FOR THE PEOPLE WHO ALSO SAY IT'S NOT but WHAT DO I KNOW?). This seems like a really easy way to claim that images that look like you traced over a cursed cat image are actually the real Scribble. Why do you want to prove it so bad?!? WHY DO YOU WANT TO CLAIM THAT SCRIBBLE IS REAL SO BADLY?! WHY DO YOU WANT SCRIBBLE TO BE REAL!? WHY CAN'T YOU JUST STOP IT WITH THIS STUPID JOKE OF A "GOD" SO I CAN STOP HAVING TO DO THIS EVERY DAY!? IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL!!
• I CAN SEE IT WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES PLEASE LEEAVE ME ALONE
• Note from the Cosmosdex: This draft of the article was found, typed as is, on the personal computer of the individual assigned to it. Since contact was lost, we investigated their residence and found them gone, with the walls covered in crayon drawings of cats without heads and cat heads without bodies. The only evidence of the author's disappearance is the presence of a live crab on the computer. As the current whereabouts of the author are still being investigated, and no other writers have volunteered to take up editing this article for them, the article will be left as is until further notice. Thank you for using the Cosmosdex.
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