Presence

Cash Money's presence is the form of a five foot tall humanoid idol made of pure platinum. His form has a completely spherical head with a permanent golden smile and tired golden eyes. Cash's eyes are covered by pale green sunglasses. The symbols on these glasses can change to show different eye expressions and representations of currency. These sunglasses typically show relaxed and closed eyes.

Cash appears from a distance to be wearing a hoodie with the hood down, but this is simply a part of his torso. Cash is easily able to move his arms and legs, an action that would seem impossible with a body made of solid metal with no obvious joints. Cash has provided numerous and contradictory explanations for how his body works, ranging from "magic" to "believing in myself" to "I don't know, bro, I'm no scientist."

Cash is almost always wearing a golden chain with three dollar symbols on it, a green and gold set of headphones, and a fanny pack made out of a similar material to paper currency. Cash has pulled things seemingly from out of nowhere from this fanny pack in his videos, but this is most likely caused by an advanced sort of portable inventory system. Most often, he pulls out Cash-branded fake paper currency and merchandise to throw at people to brag about how rich he is.

Disposition

Cash Money is not only a possible demigod of the Sleeper, but is also a shockingly popular vlogger and musician. He has gained a massive following on various video-sharing platforms, over a billion subscribers in all. Many of these subscribers simply look at the thumbnails of his videos, knowing that watching them may doom them to a fate of poverty. Some watch his videos out of curiosity and "to see how bad they really are" anyways.

Cash is a very narcissistic and insensitive individual. When his vlogs and raps don't show how rich he is compared to other people, they antagonize others or disrespect sacred traditions of various species. Rarely, Cash will do something incredibly disturbing in his videos, such as the time he "ALMOST DID NECROMANCY (YEOTAILS CALLED)" and nearly got arrested. However, when these things happen, he posts long and drawn out apology videos (that still involve shilling his merchandise).

Cash goes into a form of hibernation every other year (which he refers to as "a hiatus") and wakes up a year later. Due to this, Cash only posts videos in even-numbered years. During his hibernation periods, his CA$HCULT guards his sleeping body and works on new merchandise for him to sell.

Acts

A being of shining platinum similar to Cash Money has been featured in many legends as a figure of deceit, selling things and vastly overstating their worth. The few of these items that still exist are cheap plastic knockoffs of dangerous anomalous objects. The platinum figure, after selling enough items, often gains a following as a popular figure in a community. The communities in these legends all inevitably collapse after some sort of financial disaster.

Less mythological, however, are numerous infomercials from centuries ago featuring what appears to be a more distinguished Cash Money trying to sell products such as cookware and towels. Cash has verified that this is indeed him, stating that "I sold stuff on television for a while, but that ain't nearly as profitable as what I've got goin' on nowadays. Not as cool, either. Can't gather a fanbase on infomercials, you feel me?"

Cash Money's most prominent anomalous power is the ability to sell merchandise telepathically. This ability seems to work by swapping physical or digital currency for the merchandise the victim thinks about most while viewing one of Cash's videos. This ability seems to work for both positive and negative thoughts, causing a lot of the merch he sells to be unwanted.

Cash Money has also, seemingly anomalously, gathered a group of specifically obsessed fans that he calls the CA$HCULT (sic). The CA$HCULT has several thousand members who obsessively praise Cash and harass those who criticize him. Many have theorized that Cash has some form of mind control that he uses to keep his CA$HCULT under his thumb. Cash has stated that "Well ye- er, no, bro! People just love me! Right, all you cashers out there?". CA$HCULT members are always poor, having spent all of their money on piles of merchandise.

Special

Sellin' Like a God: Cash Money has the ability to swap the physical or digital currency of his viewers for both physical merchandise and specific obsessions. Cash could swap a child's savings in their piggy bank for a C.A.$.H. T-shirt, but could also swap a hundred dollars from someone's bank account for the obsession that he is worthy of worship and praise. Members of his CA$HCULT are often those who formerly watched his videos out of irony and spite, both their riches and their prior mentalities stolen from them.

Rap For The Cash Hate

(The following is an excerpt from the song "C.A.$.H.- Rap For The Cash Hate (RADIO EDIT)" created by Cash Money. The song itself will not be put in this section as it has specifically powerful and harmful anomalous effects on many who listen to it.)

Ay. All you haters out there. C.A.$.H. is here. To. Stay.

Now then, to all of my haters there's one thing you need to see.

It's that money makes the world go round and it revolves 'round me.

I'm the greatest in the business and I sell all the best merch.

And I'm despised as a demigod inside the limbo church.

All your hatred and your anger will just fuel my awesome brand.

Cause I'll sell you all so much stuff that you couldn't understand.

Just look around, you haters, as your shelves begin to fill.

With golden chains and velcro shoes and phony dollar bills.

And as the things I gift to you begin to crowd your home.

Account balance is dropping they won't let you take no loans.

Your wealth is headed straight over into a massive hoard.

I'm leaving all you haters broke, awestruck, completely floored.

So witness my generosity and revel in my greed.

I trade merch merely wanted for the thing you truly need.

Trivia

• Cash Money, the vlogger, should not be confused with Cashmoney, the homeplanet of the speddaris. While both are strongly associated with currency, one is a person and one is a place. Making this even more confusing is the fact that Cash has been known to visit Cashmoney on occasion.

• Cash Money has repeatedly made diss tracks aimed at Xor. Xor has not responded to these diss tracks in any form besides its usual pranks. Cash has stated that "That thing's the absolute worst, dude, like seriously," an opinion that is perfectly reasonable and agreed upon by everyone.

• Despite his anomalous powers being very similar to those of the Sleeper in myths, it is not fully confirmed that Cash is a demigod. Most of these claims come from Cash himself, who has contradicted himself on various other occasions, and therefore should be taken with a grain of salt.

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