[Cosmosdex] The Universal Encyclopedia


Sigma Sturgeon

Rising Grinders / Musclefish

Sigma Sturgeon
“What is wrong with you people, that's clearly a fucking salmon.” — An increasingly beleaguered marine biologist

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  • Strength-6
  • Intelligence-2
  • Charisma-1
  • Endurance-7
  • Agility-4
  • Luck-3

Danger Level: Medium
Likes: Effort, Improvement, Protein, Dominance
Dislikes: Freeloaders, Weaklings, Laziness

Attack Method: Attempt to intimidate the assailant, or failing that, punch it with its fins.

Environment: Rivers, Freshwater Lakes
Lifespan: 20 years
Size: 0.75 ft tall, 4 ft long
Diet: Fish, Meat, Protein

Bodytype: Finned
Type: Marine
Rarity: Unknown

Original Creator: Etharia

Physical Description

A medium-sized salmon-like fish, measuring four feet long at the largest, and about nine inches tall, whereas most salmon maintain a green and red coloration only during breeding season, these fish maintain it throughout their entire adulthood.

Their most notable feature is their long and flexible, almost armlike fins, which coupled with the pronounced bump in the middle of each gives them the illusion of being "completely jacked." in addition, each of their "biceps" is emblazoned with an off-white "Sigma" symbol. Or maybe it's a weird "E."

Another notable feature of them are the air sacs in their heads, which when faced with competition can inflate in order to make the fish appear larger, giving them the appearance of an attractive masculine figure with defined cheekbones. Nobody is sure why they look like this.


If a sigma sturgeon was to be describe in two words, they would be "competitive" and "ambitious." They tend to spend most of their time exercising their strength, usually by repeatedly swimming upstream or even up waterfalls, and very rarely using said strength to their advantage when hunting.

They have a strange behavior when near other members of their species. When two individuals meet, they tend to instigate a "pose-off" wherein they compare their "gains" to one another. The exact parameters of how a winner is determined are unknown. The winner of this competition may either attempt to show the loser its preferred exercise locations, or chase them out of their original territory, depending on the individual.

When meeting other fish while not hunting, the sigma sturgeon will attempt to "flex" on them, in some strange act of persuasion. This invariably fails, because fish do not have a concept of positive body image.


None / Unknown.




• Some individuals have chosen to adopt a lifestyle based on that of the sigma sturgeon, maintaining a constant exercise regimen and being incredibly elitist about the whole thing.

• There have been numerous proposals to rename sigma sturgeons to a more accurate term, citing "come on you'll even keep the alliteration."

• For some reason, the few captive populations of sigma sturgeon seem to have each independently developed a taste for yogurt. Even the sugary kind.

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