Cookie Consent by Fortuna | Cosmosdex



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The moment you get online someone messages you.

AbsoluteTrash: Oh my god. Did you even sleep?
AbsoluteTrash: Are you ok, was the game that tense last night?
AbsoluteTrash: Better question though, did you get to meet any cool characters?

Player: Well I met with two limbo gods.

AbsoluteTrash: Oh oh oh! Which ones?

Player: Well it was the same god kind of, the Future and the Past! Turns out I met them before but didn't know.

AbsoluteTrash: Ugh those two? Worst limbo gods ever! Can't believe those 2 are the ones you met first. You have like, totally bad luck or something.
AbsoluteTrash: Though them being people you met before isn't surprising. Limbo gods like to sneak their gross hands into everything you do! Trying to effect the things you do the best they can.

Player: Oh. They seemed like ok people, I mean, the Future seemed alright.

AbsoluteTrash: That's what you think, but the moment you leave an opening they go in for the kill! At least you're a newbie so they'll take it easy on you for 1 or 2 universes.
AbsoluteTrash: Errrr wait, you kept the Fortuna rewards right? Yeeeeah ok they likely believe you're some pro player then, whoops.

Player: Also one of my crew members and a robot I just made on the planet died too. It was pretty bad.

AbsoluteTrash: Only 1 crew member and a robot? Ooooh man, I guess maybe you aren't unlucky. That's like, super lucky to land on a planet with a limbo god and not come out with half of your crew dead and the other half turned in to alligators.
AbsoluteTrash: That happened to me once. It was The Best Thing Ever. It's the only way to unlock the alligator species anyway so to do it for completion sake you know?

Player: Oh, it was kind of tense and a little sad though.

AbsoluteTrash: You'll like, get used to it, It's [Fortuna], you're going to have a total party kill sooner or later, and then after that 10 more! It's fun.

Player: Oh yeah, I might have accidently burned off all of one of my characters red and green traits. Will they like, regrow that sooner or later?

AbsoluteTrash: Oh my god. You are even more adorable than CowBoy said. No they won't silly, those traits are gone forever now! But don't worry they might get a new green trait, or red, if you try. If it's late game though I'd just toss em to the side and in to safety to make room for someone else though. Why'd you even burn their traits anyway? Like to be honest, their traits are like, part of their character, even the red one so I just, always keep them?

Player: Well my character got really sick.

AbsoluteTrash: This is why you always have to keep a medic on team!

Player: Well. I have one I just, did it anyway.

AbsoluteTrash: Oooooooooooooh, poor newbie mistake. Yo, check it, if you have a medic, and your character is sick or hurt, let your medic do their job? Else what are you even carrying around a medic for honestly???

Player: I sure do make a lot of mistakes....

AbsoluteTrash: Welcome to Fortuna kid, grab a number and stand in the mistake line like the rest of us cause you never stop making mistakes. I've been playing for a while and I still make the dumbest mistakes, honestly just learn to laugh at your mistakes!
AbsoluteTrash: I was in a stream with CowBoy like, 2 days ago and he just. Freaking. Opens a door with a large DANGER, TERRORDACTYL, sign on it. Just. Who even does that.

Player: Uh.......

AbsoluteTrash: Amazing. All of you are Amazing people. I love each and every single one of you.

Player: Oh yeah, I also did a roomtrap for the first time and got the Hades ship for solving a riddle! Or patrons solved the puzzle, I almost messed it up.

AbsoluteTrash: How rude of them to solve the puzzle for you.

Player: Uh. Excuse me?

AbsoluteTrash: DUDE! It's SO RARE to find Hades and you find him in your game? If you lose the puzzle he basically becomes a part of your crew. Like someone explain to me the downside of having an uber helpful robot on your crew controlling one of them. Then again I guess you have Athena so maybe you didn't want to lose more control?

Player: I guess, I mean the crew member he was going to take was the one that died anyway.

AbsoluteTrash: RIP.
AbsoluteTrash: What did your avatar look like?

Player: It's hard to explain, I just kind of don't like the way it looks.

AbsoluteTrash: I mean, your gameplay style affects the way your avatar looks but once you got a base avatar that's basically it. If you want to get another avatar type you gotta universe scum, basically delete the universe, play one game, check your avatar, and if it's not what you want delete it again. Ever spot CowBoy's avatar running around or did the AIs kill him already?

Player: Huh? Other player's avatars can be in your game?

AbsoluteTrash: Yep! And like, CowBoy's game comes from a loooooooooooooong line of games, the Fortuna Conga line. We basically got "generations" of games going on! So you might see a few buuuuut your game also comes from the Sun God line soooo pretty sure the AIs have killed at least 99% of the players. Poor little player AIs, they actually believe they had their soul sucked in to the game. It's pretty funny honestly. Anyway what are you doing now?

Player: Well I'm currently on the Eris planet. I'm off to go meet Eris.

AbsoluteTrash: You got Athena as your patron and you're going to meet Eris? A++++ good stuff, you're going to be laughing your butt off the whole time, that planet is awesome! Well unless you hate characters dying or getting new arms time to time.

Player: ........Wait back up a moment, what's this about player avatars? And what did CowBoy's avatar look like? Maybe I've come across it.

AbsoluteTrash: Laughing my butt off. it’s a CowBoy duh. What else would it even be. Player avatars are like, simple minor things. You don’t gotta worry about them being in your game if they are, cause they have really minor powers. Like god of soda pop!

Player: Does CowBoy avatar have a leather jacket and a leather hat as well as two toned eyes?

AbsoluteTrash: Yeah that's the one!

Player: Well he got himself eaten by a shark.

AbsoluteTrash: Rip. Just like CowBoy would have wanted to die. Unless that shark was a god he'll respawn one day.

Player: Well, I hope he’s ok, but like you said the gods might kill him. Speaking of gods, can you like talk to the sun god, I mean I’m sure not many people have tried so maybe it’s possible?

AbsoluteTrash: Well duuuuuuuh people have tried. Not everyone is in to total murderer! I tried talking to the sun god once.
AbsoluteTrash: Went sooooooo badly. Killed like 40% of the gods and replaced them all with like...things? It’s hard to explain I have lots of screenshots but they’re not on this computer so woop woop. Wait! I’m not suppose to share any info with you unless we’re trading anyway so pffffff forget that.

Player: What do you want to trade for info, because I’m not sure what you want here, you seem to know a lot...

AbsoluteTrash: Yeah to be honest I’m like the Fortuna guru, it’s hard to get new info to me. I mean I’ve kiiiiind of stopped doing sun god runs cause it’s a total dead end so most of the info I can give you is totally useless. :/
AbsoluteTrash: I mean I wanna beat the sun god run so I’m always on the snoop out for new deets but like. Shrug, I won’t care if I never beat it. I guess if you see something odd about the sun god run you can tell me and if I’ve never heard about it I can tell you.

Player: Well there is one strange guy in my game. His name is Sonny and he’s in one of my character’s head, telling them what to do and stuff.

AbsoluteTrash: Doesn’t sound too weird, I mean some characters just have like, weird imaginary friends in their head. Just bring the character’s sanity up and poof! Most of them leave.

Player: Here's the thing though, Sonny is trying to make Cea (the crewmember) wish him into reality through Fortuna. And if Cea does, sonny has been telling him that he'll make Cea immortal. Plus...this is the weirdest part. When we tried to use another crewmember to talk to Sonny, we were transported outside of the universe. Apparently in to the under universe? He said he was like a dreamwalker but he isn’t.

AbsoluteTrash: What what? OH MAN THIS SOUNDS GOOD!!!! Could it be THEM? The missing piece?!?! I AM HYPED YOU GOTTA TELL ME MORE. What info do you want buckaroo?

Player: Well I want to know about just what you’re talking about.

AbsoluteTrash: Well no duh I gotta tell you all about that when I ask you questions. :V

Player: Well ok, I got this The Magician drink last game? Mind telling me about it? It seems like it's part of a group of drinks.

AbsoluteTrash: Yeah basically. Those drinks are part of the Major Arcana set of drinks. (There’s no lesser arcana set of drinks in this game so ??? weird to call them Major Arcana.) The company that makes them is run by Mors so that’s why they’re kind of weird and twisted and I love them.
AbsoluteTrash: Each one has an upside, but also like, a hidden downside. If you know tarot cards you can prob guess most of them, but some of them are just kind of hella random? Either way, almost all of them turn your character in to a “monster” or creature. I mean it’s Mors so like? The norm for Mors.

AbsoluteTrash: You’ll normally find at least 1 or 2 in each game, they’re good to save up for usage at the start of a game, seeing as most of the time they’re like. End game items. So you find them when it’s a little too late to get the full effects, so it’s just like, wrinkles nose, welp. I guess that’s the whole point of it anyway?

AbsoluteTrash: Either way, The Magician is a good one for actual late game play. Prob one of the only ones that’s actually for end game play. If your character drinks it. They become heat resistant.

Player: But you said that each card turns them in to like, a monster or something right?

AbsoluteTrash: Yeeeeeep! The Magician turns your character into like an on fire version of themselves. Like, lets say your character was a notail? I mean LAUGHING MY BUTT OFF THEY’RE ALREADY MONSTERS BUT LIKE STAY WITH ME HERE OK?
AbsoluteTrash: If you gave this potion to a notail, they’d like, turn into like a burning man? That’s what would happen.

Player: What about a gondii, I mean they have no way to eat, can we use the potion on them?

AbsoluteTrash: Never thought about that, but yea you can. If you inject it in to them but like. I mean, that’s a little weird. Your character is going to have to be a little off to get an injection of a drink in to them. I mean I guess if you want a big ole parasite on your crew that’d be neat. I ain’t really in to crawly bug things myself but I got a friend who reeeeeeally digs it. My friend is a bug master…uh like….game/glitch bugs and normal bugs.

Player: The one(s) with the weird astronaut as their icon right?

AbsoluteTrash: Yep that's the one!

Player: Does this friend know how to kill the sun god?

AbsoluteTrash: Glitchy would NEEEEVER try to kill the sun god. All that does is bring order and Glitchy hates order.
AbsoluteTrash: Ok time for my question. What does Sonny look like?

Player: Like a snake, if the snake was only drawn with straight lines. Sort of off white in color, with a black and grey underbelly.

AbsoluteTrash: AWWWWW YEAH! We’re striking gold here boys!!! Please, you have to tell me how you got Sonny. How did you get Sonny I need this info so badly.

Player: The crew member was randomly generated.

AbsoluteTrash: Well fuck me I guess.

Player: Well our crew member is a Klannec with a Sir, and [Imaginary Friend] is that helps. His baby sitter had the same thing apparently.

AbsoluteTrash: Yeah that is nice but it just proves that this missing piece is basically randomly generated which is lame. You’re like, super lucky. I mean. I don’t think you understand how lucky you are.
AbsoluteTrash: Are you ok with giving me your game, like a copy? I need this. There’s only a few save files with this last piece, and almost all of them are from like the end of the universe.

Player: What do you have to trade?

AbsoluteTrash: I mean unless you want another game file in exchange for it all I have to trade is knowledge.

Player: I want more questions.

AbsoluteTrash: I'll give you 2.

Player: 3.

AbsoluteTrash: 2.

Player: I guess you aren't getting the copy.

AbsoluteTrash: I guess you aren't going to be asking the Undergame master about the undergame as one of your questions then. :3c

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