Player: Hey there Ready4DeathTBH!

Ready4DeathTBH: Ayyyyyye, sup Player!
Ready4DeathTBH: Local Fortuna newbie and Cosmosnaut vet meet in the pit, to brawl it out. Get ready to see how a real Cosmosnaut does things.
Ready4DeathTBH: Just kidding though, we both know that I'd just trip and die a day before the match.
Ready4DeathTBH: God. Finally tbh.

Player: Oh great, the pit it is.
Player: Kind of funny you talked about the pit, my current patron had some choice words about the pit.

Ready4DeathTBH: Oh man, you gotta tell me about baby's first patron. I'm always so interested in who people pick first and why.
Ready4DeathTBH: You tell me the goods on your patron and I'll give you the goods on the best notail ships.
Ready4DeathTBH: Need to make sure you're with me on the correct side of the fandom.

Player: CowBoy told me the notail side of the fandom was the "wrong" side of the fandom.
Player: Are you sure you're not trying to trick me?

Ready4DeathTBH: Cucked again by CowBoy.
Ready4DeathTBH: Yeah you got me I was trying to lead you to the #Deeplore™ and we have to start Deeplore™ talk with notails.
Ready4DeathTBH: Well, I tried anyway. You wanna tell me about your patron anyway?

Player: Yeah sure.
Player: I got Helios after meeting him in the tutorial. He's something alright.
Player: He grades things I write in the notepad, it's kind of weird but I'm getting used to him being around.
Player: He's really into knowledge, a bit strange, and he kind of seems a tad depressed, but other than that he's ok.

Ready4DeathTBH: God, I have to sue the Cosmosdex for putting me in the game without asking.
Ready4DeathTBH: Pretty interesting that you picked Helios, really the only people who pick Helios are people who didn't pay attention in the tutorial and need to redo it, but I guess you didn't really get to play the tutorial due to the sun god run.
Ready4DeathTBH: Anyway you've fallen for my trap cause by telling me your patron I get to tell you my notail ships.

Ready4DeathTBH: Ok you're pretty much the only person I can tell this to cause else I'm going to be called a poser by the other Cosmosnauts for having such a normie ship.
Ready4DeathTBH: My OTP.....is Princess O-4 x O-5.

Player: What's a Cosmosnaut and who is Princess O-4? I mean I've met O-5 before.

Ready4DeathTBH: First off, Cosmosnauts are what we call the Cosmosdex fandom. There's also Fortunerds for Fortuna fans but I guess seeing as if you're a fan of Fortuna you're a fan of the Cosmosdex. I don't make the rules.
Ready4DeathTBH: Also don't worry who Princess O-4 is. I'm just so glad....to be able to tell someone without judgement.
Ready4DeathTBH: One time I said it outloud in a chat by accident and I was just-
Ready4DeathTBH: "Might as well die." and left the chat.

Ready4DeathTBH: Like I don't get any of the popular ships these days. Like R-18 x B-69, O-6 x O-9, and O-2 x O-9!
Ready4DeathTBH: Like I'm all for joke ships but it sure feels like that those first two ships are because everyone cannot stop giggling at the numbers, geez.
Ready4DeathTBH: Then there's O-2 x O-9 which is a good ship I'm just salty it's more popular than my OTP.
Ready4DeathTBH: Meanwhile Princess O-4 x O-5 is just.....good.....IT'S A GOOD SHIP GUYS!

Player: Uh.

Ready4DeathTBH: Inhales.
Ready4DeathTBH: This is why no one wants to talk about notails with me isn't it?

Player: It....
Player: Uh......
Player: Might be why CowBoy warned me about notails.
Player: I'm not sure what shipping has to do with deep lore as well.....

Ready4DeathTBH: God I am so sorry, I constantly give Cosmosnauts and Notail Historians a bad name.
Ready4DeathTBH: I'm just going to go and kill myself or something.

Player: Uh.
Player: Don't do that.

Ready4DeathTBH: Rubs my face, god I am being such a fuck up right now, sorry about that.
Ready4DeathTBH: I keep forgetting to most people thinking "Better go die!" is not a normal or healthy reaction and scares the fuck out of people.
Ready4DeathTBH: Honestly? Thanks for reminding me this isn't normal at all. Sometimes I forget and think that everyone thinks about eliminating themself off the face of the universe at the slightest mess up.
Ready4DeathTBH: Anyway I'm going to go for a bit, next time we'll talk about the good, deep lore, notails maybe included.

Player: Sure thing! See you and hope you stay safe.