I'm so sorry to hear that. The horrible thing is that giving up hope makes it harder to get what you want. I know it's hard, but you need to not give up hope on this one. I know, I know, it's not like it's going to happen like magic. You're not going to wake up one day, full of hope and ready to take on the day, but please, don't lose it pal. You can get where you need to go one day, but hey, I'm a guy going to Fortuna so you know. Got nothing but hope.