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Home > Expos > Event 8 > Page 12
HIRED HELP▼
HIRED HELP
[Julius Fucik - Entry of the Gladiators]
Circe
"This is terrible......"
Circe
"How am I supposed to think of totally amazing tricks for these people!!!"

The circus was in town, and ZooCorp had hired three people to assist in setting it up....as well as "making sure that the clown does not break out."

Whatever that means.

Kratos
"Circe, the people of this planet haven't seen a circus in years. They'll enjoy anything you do."
Circe
"Yeeeeeeeah I get that......"
Circe
"BUT I HAVEN'T PUT ON A SHOW FOR ANYONE THAT ISN'T WILLING TO HUMOR A CLOWN PLANET IN LIKE....1000 YEEEEEARS!!!!"
Circe
"What if they don't laugh at me........."
Circe
"I'd have to find a way back to jail."
Kratos
"You...can just walk back into jail without committing a crime, Circe."
Circe
"Right!"
Rat_King
2024-12-29 10:30:44
Rat_King Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2025-08-03 18:21:25
Rat_King pipes up, readying what clown-related attire he could muster. "That's true, but would it really be the same as getting there by doing something ridiculous?"
Rat_King
2024-12-29 10:31:09
Rat_King Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2025-08-03 18:21:40
"If you're going to go to jail, you might as well go there after causing people's drains to fill up with fish or the like."
Kratos
"Please refrain from convincing Circe to commit a crime."
Etharia
"If you don't mind a second opinion, I understand where you're coming from, but in the hectic yet oh-so-boring world we live in, I don't think a big and bombastic display is what you want. It'd just make people feel more tired than they already are."
Adelynn
An aftik patters up and.... immediately squints their eyes.
Adelynn
"YOU. I RECOGNIZE YOU."
Circe
Circe looks at the aftik. "Uuuh yeah haha I know you too! You're uuuuh..." Circe honestly had no idea who this aftik was. "Bird brain. Like uh, in a super smart way."
Circe
"Cause birds have huge brains."
Etharia
"I've never met a bird that wasn't smart."
Adelynn
2024-12-29 10:33:06
Adelynn Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2025-08-03 18:22:49
The aftik hums but lets it go... for now.
Rat_King
2024-12-29 10:32:20
Rat_King Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2025-08-03 18:23:32
"I wouldn't say doing crimes is a good thing, but if the choice is going to jail just because, or going to jail for something you've done, which is more comedic?"
Rat_King
"Purely a hypothetical."
Circe
"Going to jail for a goof would be pretty funny!"
Kratos
"No it would not."
Rat_King
"Anyways, where were we? Thinking of tricks?"
Adelynn
"Uh! Yeah.... hmm.... Not much space when everything's a skyscraper though!!!"
Adelynn
"You could put uhh!! A tightrope across one of them, maybe!"
Rat_King
"What's something you've always wanted to try Circe, but haven't been able to pull off thus far? Perhaps something new might help."
Circe
"I haven't had to put off anything! The prison is my oyster back home!"
Circe
"Though I did have to stop transforming people without their consent."
Rat_King
"Probably for the best."
Etharia
"Another idea to capitalize on limited space might be to focus a larger number of smaller attractions and performances, so there's less required space for an audience at any given spot."
Circe
"Kratos found out a pretty darn smart way to make transforming people interesting."
Circe
"BEHOLD. THE LEGAL MEGAPLEX!!!!!!!!!!!"
Circe shows off miles of paperwork stacked to the ceiling.
Circe
"You gotta consent to all these before I transform you now."
Etharia
"Oh? That's good to hear."
Adelynn
"ARE YOU SETTING IT ON FIRE?"
Circe
"NO I WOULD NEVER SET LEGAL PAPERS ON FIRE!!"
Rat_King
"That's......a lot of paper work."
Adelynn
"A lot of paperwork!! Too much!!"
Circe
"I will have you know. I am not only a clown. But I'm a lawyer too!"
Helper
"Whaaaaaat's the difference? Honk honk!"
Circe
"Honk honk!"
Kratos
"I don't get it."
Circe
2024-12-29 10:38:54
Circe Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2025-08-03 18:25:23
"You know it might seem kind of random that a clown is a lawyer but I'll tell you now! It takes a lot of legal experience to get a government to approve doing a double backflip through two flaming hoops into a pool of sharks that are rigged to explode in ten seconds."
Etharia
"I do remember the clown planet's legal system being very robust."
Etharia
"Plenty of due process even for a case involving a literal cardboard cut out."
Adelynn
"I'm sure it became a lot more robust after-"
Adelynn
"-the incident."
Rat_King
"Wait, exploding sharks? Can we get those approved?"
Rat_King
"That sounds entertaining."
Etharia
"Wait, I just got an idea!"
Rat_King
"Go on..."
Etharia
"One of the main issues is a lack of space, yes? Well, how difficult is it to get permits for temporary scaffolding between rooftops?"
Circe
"Space isn't really an issue, we have the biggest place around."
Etharia
"oh."
Circe
"THE ISSUE IS THAT WHAT IF THEY HATE MY ACT?!"
Kratos
"Circe has stage fright."
Circe
"NO I DON'T!"
Kratos
*"Circe has very selective stage fright."
Circe
"Thank you."
Etharia
"Let's take this from the base of the issue. What exactly is it that makes this audience different compared to your usual?"
Etharia
"If you can pinpoint that, it should be easier to figure out what exactly you need to do differently than your standard."
Adelynn
2024-12-29 10:41:56
Adelynn Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2025-08-03 18:26:01
"They won't hate your act!! Everyone's so bored here from their corporate jobs even I'm going insane!!!"
Circe
"Yeah but have you TRIED making a bored ole pencil pusher laugh?! They don't got a single haha bone in their body!"
Circe
"Watch. Knock Knock!"
Rat_King
Rat_King bites, "Who's there?"
Circe
"The Principality Pernicious."
Rat_King
"The Principality Pernicious who?"
Circe
"SEE YOU DON'T GET IT!!!!"
Kratos
2024-12-29 10:43:54
Kratos Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2025-08-03 18:26:37
"In fairness, that joke requires knowledge of over five hundred years of humor and history from your planet to understand."
Etharia
2024-12-29 10:43:43
Etharia Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2025-08-03 18:26:52
"No offense Circe, but the knock-knock joke has a pretty solid setup. If you want to get laughs, maybe don't go straight for the subversions when your audience hasn't had a normal laugh in years."
Rat_King
"Isn't that the usual follow up line though?"
Adelynn
"Yeah, that's pretty typical!!"
Circe
"You have to understand, I come from a planet of clowns."
Circe
2024-12-29 10:44:32
Circe Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2025-08-03 18:27:18
"We've been in a haha arms race for like a bajillion years!!!"
Circe
2024-12-29 10:44:39
Circe Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-29 10:44:44
"Basically, what I'm trying to say, is that my jokes are too advanced for you folk."
Etharia
"Then go back to basics. What's the first joke you can remember?"
Rat_King
"Quite the long time to be in a race of jokes and pranks."

To help in the understanding of the joke though, Rat_King has Singercore try and pull up a book on the history of the Principality Pernicious using [Hammerspace].
Rat_King rolls a 20 sided die. A 16 is rolled.

The mallon digs through its fur and pulls out a book. It's one of the longest books that anyone in the room has ever seen.

Adelynn
"WHOA!"
Rat_King
"You weren't kidding about a bajillion years of history. That's a lot of clowning!"
Circe
2024-12-29 10:47:15
Circe Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2025-08-03 18:27:46
"To be honest, the War of 5490 takes up like half of that book."
Kratos
"It was a one day war."
Circe
"It was a really really long day."
Etharia
"Pffft ahahahahahaha!"
Circe
("Kratos why is he laughing.")
Kratos
("Circe, I don't think he means any offense. I just believe he does not know about how the planet's rotation was stopped on that day, and how many people died from it.")
Circe
("It was....a.....really long day.....")
Etharia
"…sorry, it's just. That exchange had quite literally the exact anatomy of a really good joke."
Rat_King
"I've heard of stretching the most out of your day, but I didn't think anyone would take that to heart quite so literally."
Circe
("Wow these people sure have good ears.")
Kratos
("Maybe next time I should just text you my thoughts.")
Circe
2024-12-29 10:49:11
Circe Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2025-08-03 18:28:24
"So yeah. That's my problem. My jokes are too advanced, and you folks are waaaaay too simple dimple! No offense."
Circe
"How about you tell me a joke!"
Circe
"If you tell me a joke, I can just mimic your level of jokes and we'll be on the same level."
Rat_King
After consulting the metaphorical hamster running laps in their head, Rat_King speaks up. "Same level, huh?"
Rat_King
"Singercore, fetch me the stilts!"

[Hammerspace]
Rat_King rolls a 20 sided die. A 7 is rolled.

The mallon pulls out two short sticks. They're stilts for short people!

Circe
"Haha!"
Adelynn
The aftik giggles as the mallon pulls out the tiny stilts.
Rat_King
He gives his mallon a reassuring pat.

"Well, guess we came out a bit short after all."
Adelynn
"It's still a good prop joke!!! I love those!"
Etharia
"PFFAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! A BIT SHORT!"
Circe
"Pfffhffaahaa th-that....."
Circe
"Joke is...so corny and old school...."
Rat_King
"May bit a bit old fashioned and cheesy, but that's what the rats are for."
Adelynn
"Sometimes simple is good!! Simple works!!"
Circe
"I think I understand what you're throwing at me fella! When everything works, and makes sense, maybe a good joke is something that don't work!"
Circe
"Like a-"
Kratos
"Don't make that joke."
Circe
"Dang."
Etharia
"Corniness is relative to the audience. What might seem old and tired to you could be someone's first time hearing a joke."
Circe
"Yeah that's right, I can open with some really old jokes for the crowd!"
Rat_King
"May not have all the joke telling chops you have, but as long as you tell it with confidence and take any failures in stride, you can make the best out of any situation."
Circe
"Yeah that's right!!!"
Circe
"By the way, this is like a minor itty bitty issue, but I got a court hearing to go to in a few days. What do you folks recommend I wear to it?"
Etharia
"Honestly, lose the top hat and swap out for a regular tie and your current outfit could probably work."
Rat_King
".....you don't want my first answer."
Circe
"Hmmm really? Cause I was thinking about wearing my lawsuit!"
Helper
"Honk honk!"
Etharia
"hehehehehe..."
Rat_King
"Hehehe...."
Adelynn
There's a laugh out of the aftik again!
Kratos
"You can't wear a lawsuit."
Rat_King
"Sounds like you aren't trying hard enough. Have you consulted your tailor?"
Kratos
"I suppose I could attempt that."
Etharia
"Yeah. I hear a good tailor can get you out of any sort of tight squeeze."
Circe
"I gotta thank you for giving lil ole me a little bit of confidence! I'd like to offer this big ole rat I found!"
Kratos
"Technically it is a rabbit."
Circe
"It's a rat."
Rat_King
"A most beautiful rat indeed."
Adelynn
"Rat!"
Etharia
"Rat!"
Kratos
"The ear structures are of a rabbit."
Rat_King
"Yeah, but look at that tail! Clearly a rat."
Etharia
"Yeah, but that's just."
Etharia
"Splitting hares."
Circe
"Ok everyone, lets take a vote. Rat or rabbit?"
Adelynn
"RAT!!! RAT!!"
Etharia
"Definitely a rat."
Rat_King
Rat_King chuckles at the hare joke. "Rat."
Kratos
Kratos sighs. "I suppose if it was a rabbit, you would have pulled it out of your hat."
Circe
"Sure would have, hun! Now let's get back to work."
Circe
"So. Which one of you is going to sign the waiver and move the exploding sharks?"
END OF EXPO.
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