STORY

STORY

UNICORN MEAT
[Main Theme (Daytime) (8-Bit) - Nintendo Land Soundtrack [Complete]]
2024-12-14 15:44:12
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Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 11:55:46

It's an amazing day on Prison Planet! The birds are screaming, the consumers are screaming, the unicorns are screaming, it's just a delight!

The recent earthquakes have been putting everyone on high alert.

Currently, one crew was off exploring the nearby areas. Apparently, they were assigned a project to "Interview someone important and interesting."

There were a few places to check out.

First was a strange opening near the castle's water supply; someone interesting had to be living there!

Next up was towards a moldy cave in the wasteland. Everyone said, "Don't go there," but that just means something exciting must be inside!

Next up was at one of the many stores. How quaint that each one seemed to lead to the same building. That's branding, baby!

There was, of course, the castle itself.....or even walking back to Bizz to give him his own interview!

There was also a fortune-teller's hut nearby.

"Wow, this town has everything!"
"Yeah, it's frankly impressive. Yanno."
"Us being in jail and all."
Stem
2024-12-14 15:45:12
Stem Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 11:56:57
"Yeah. At this rate, we might have enough of a scoop to make like, 3 articles."
Lumi
2024-12-14 15:45:48
Lumi Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 11:57:14
"I guess."

Their gaze drifts to the fortune-teller's hut, though, despite how annoyed they seem.
"A wonderful day as always for a walk around this business filled shanty town. There is a interesting sense of developments going on! What is the order of operations here, party leader? I can feel a dozen quest hooks already stirring from a glance!"
Shoop
2024-12-14 15:45:59
Shoop Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 11:58:52
"Oh! I just had an idea! I wonder what we could see from the top of the castle! It's so tall!"
"A visit to the castle, eh? That sounds like a wonderful idea. The locals are sure to have something to do, someone to talk to, and more."
"I'll go wherever ya'll want. I ain't picky."
"Just don't get Mooncake into danger or I'm bitin' one of you."
Shoop
2024-12-14 15:50:14
Shoop Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:02:10
"Let's go, I'm sure it'll be a fun place! =)" Shoop attempts to get on his unicorn, but fails, because he is a 10-foot-long bug.
Pit
2024-12-14 15:49:59
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Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:05:56
"Are you suggesting we interview Princess herself? I'm in!"
Lumi
2024-12-14 15:50:32
Lumi Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:03:27
"Wait, Princess??" Lumi lets out a deep sigh, ready to follow similarly to Antares.
Shoop
2024-12-14 15:51:56
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Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:05:43
Shoop's unicorn leans down so he can get on it.

"Oh, thanks! You're a very nice unicorn!" Shoop kind of awkwardly coils up on the unicorn. He looks like he might fall off at any moment, but the unicorn shifts to keep him balanced.
Beeatrix
2024-12-14 15:51:41
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Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:06:27
"I haven't been to the castle yet, personally. Well, aside from one or two visits to that Zipper fellow." Beatrix buzzes alongside her party members with her staff in hand and a sense of excitement.
2024-12-14 15:52:38
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Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:07:00

The group all head forth to the castle, but as soon as they reach the entrance, the guards demand they be frisked and any strange items be removed.

All weapons have been taken away!

The inside of the castle is not what most would think a castle should be. Supplies lined the halls, and many rooms served as shelters for those who were too weak or injured to face the outside.

It wasn't as grand as assumed.

The throne room, though, was fairly free from clutter and beds, and there sat Princess, on her phone as she always was.

O-4
2024-12-14 15:52:58
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Posted by ID #29
Last edit: 2024-12-14 16:10:41
If she bothered to look up at you, you do not know, her face hid her movements and thoughts.
Lumi
2024-12-14 15:53:18
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Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:09:28
Lumi forces an unbothered expression and holds Spark's tongue. It would be better to let the others speak. They probably wouldn't piss her off.
Beeatrix
2024-12-14 15:54:19
Beeatrix Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:11:21
Beeatrix seems cheerful as ever without a fear in her mind. She, however, permits the party leader to perform the peace talks and quest interactions. She is simply happy to be here.
"Oh, hello Princess, it's nice to see you again! Someone here wants to interview you, isnt that cool?? =)"
"Hello miss. Could we trouble you for an interview?"
Fortuna rolls a 20 sided die. A 20 is rolled.
2024-12-14 15:59:33
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Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:11:39

The group finds themselves surprised when Princess perks up immediately. She's normally very.....distant and crude, to be frank.

O-4
2024-12-14 15:59:58
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Posted by ID #29
Last edit: 2024-12-14 16:10:53
"An interview? Really? :)"
O-4
2024-12-14 16:00:07
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Last edit: 2024-12-14 16:11:02
"Hmmmmmmmmm. :)"
O-4
2024-12-14 16:00:32
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Last edit: 2024-12-14 16:11:07
"You know what? Sure. :)"
"Whaaaat, really?"
"I don't think you should! But ok!"
"Yay! I love it when cute friends get along!"
Lumi
2024-12-14 16:01:55
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Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:31:50
"....That worked??"
Beeatrix
2024-12-14 16:02:21
Beeatrix Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:25:12
"Wonderful! Good work, everyone. Bee-ing yourself works!" Beeatrix was happy the quest was completed so soon. Just like that! An interview! Wonderful! She'd toss streamers if the guards hadn't taken them.
Lumi
2024-12-14 16:03:10
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Posted by ID #29
Last edit: 2024-12-14 16:05:06
Spark leans close to Beeatrix, speaking softly.

"We still gotta actually do the interview, no tellin' how this is gonna go."
Beeatrix slumps down and tames her excitement before saying outloud to Lumi and the Party, "Oh... Who is doing the interview? Go on then."
"I understand that you're very busy, so thank you for taking the time for this. Now. Before we begin, is there anything you would like to say first?"
O-4
2024-12-14 16:06:42
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Last edit: 2024-12-14 16:11:16
"Hurry the fuck up. :)"
"Yeah! Don't waste her time!"
Pit
2024-12-14 16:07:13
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Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:28:08
"Sounds good!" The other brother pipes up. "So, let's just begin with current events. The recent filming has, for better or worse, brought a spotlight on Prison Planet. What are your opinions on that?"
Princess turns to Stem and Pit. "Those cameras aren't pointed at the prison, it's pointed at the wasteland, so it's shitty and hurts us more than it helps by depicting Prison planet as a cool hip place to film shit. :))))"
"I see." Pit is furiosly taking notes.
"..................."
"Do you. Like. Lizards?"
O-4
2024-12-14 16:17:24
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Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:31:30
Princess turns to Lumi next. "Lizards fucking suck, don't hit me with that cold-blooded shit, bring me a mammal. :)"
2024-12-14 16:22:47
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Posted by ID #29
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:36:41

As Mooncake gives a sad chitter, Lumi has to force themself to be silent again. How dare she disgrace spark's babies-

"I think lizards are cool!" Shoop shouts encouragingly.
Lumi
2024-12-14 16:25:27
Lumi Profile
Posted by ID #29
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:38:13
"THANK you!"
Beeatrix looks at the Polynoid trying to hide in the corner and asks, "If we are doing interviews. Can I interview that colorful girl in the corner too after this?"
"Nope! You're just some rando, and I don't like you!"
"Plus, Princess hasn't said you can interview me."
Beeatrix acts hurt by this and says to the SIMP Leader Polynoid, "Ah, oh well. Maybe another time..."
Shoop
2024-12-14 16:07:00
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Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:41:52
"Oh, I have a question! Where do you get all your unicorns? They're really cool and nice! =)"
"Unicorns are naturally attracted to Princess because she has good will and true intentions!"
O-4
2024-12-14 16:09:21
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Posted by ID #29
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:41:41
"I didn't ask you to answer for me. :))))"
"Erk sorry, I just like to-"
"Shuush."
"...................."
"The reason unicorns like me so much is cause I'm totally pure. :)"

Aquamarine had been wandering around the area waiting when she saw Beeatrix. Curious to what was going on she caught up to the rest of the group.

"Is that... princess...?"
Beeatrix
2024-12-14 16:14:35
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Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:40:44
Beeatrix watches this interaction and feels she should cheer up that Polynoid, but knows that Princess knows her and probably won't let Beeatrix wander around... At least according to what she thinks. Princess probably thinks she is weird! Now, why would anybody think that of her?

Beeatrix notices Aqua comes by and gives the Aftik a wave, "Hello and greetings again, Aqua. We are doing interviews!"
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 16:15:16
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:40:36
"And Princess is going with it??? Am I in an alternate timeline or some shite?"
"Just go with it, it'll be better for us all-"
"Also. :)"

Princess starts pulling out unicorn nip out her pockets.

"I smell like something unicorns haven't smelled in millions of years. :)"
"...There's... unicorn catnip????"

Anodyne wanders over to Princess, drawn by that alluring smell. Shoop is still on the unicorn's back, and smells the nip himself.

"Wow, that must be really special! Can I try some??"
"Strike one. :)"
"...?"
Stem
2024-12-14 16:22:24
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Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:42:34
"You mentioned you, 'Smell like something unicorns haven't smelled in millions of years. :)'. Might I be so bold as to ask you to elaborate on that?"
"Your parents will tell you when you're older. :)"
"Actually nevermind I'll tell you right now. :)"
"I smell like a baby. :)"
"A baby unicorn!"
("Isn't that actually a lie Princess....?")
("I'm not going to ruin the magic for them. :)")
"I love babies! Babies are so cute, I bet a baby unicorn would be even cuter!"
("Or it might want nothing more than to crush all of us dead under it's tiny hooves.")
Beeatrix speaks theoretically to the Polynoid about what she might ask in a interview, "I wanted to just know how you can handle so much responsibility. As one of Princesses high ranking officials. You must do a lot for her!"
"I must be able to handle everything Princess throws at me! If I can't, I'll never be a good leader!"
"Do you want to see some baby unicorns? :)"
"I have some out back, they're totally cute! :)"
"Yes!!!!!!!!! =))))"
"Of course. Are they photosensitive?"
2024-12-14 16:31:51
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Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:46:55

LUMI DOESN'T TRUST THIS.

("Do you realize you could be throwing us into a death trap right now-?!")
Shoop
2024-12-14 16:33:27
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Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:46:37
"Princess is nice, and my friend!"
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 16:32:21
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:46:33
Aqua totally thinks it's a trap, but will go along with whatever anyone else thinks, begrudgingly dragging her tail across the floor.
Beeatrix
2024-12-14 16:34:34
Beeatrix Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:47:32
Beeatrix notices everyone moving along and tells the Polynoid, "Oh! We are going to see the unicorns! But, if you ever change your mind about that interview, I'm around. I'm not a consumer or anything either. So you can just visit and talk. Alright, bye now!"

Princess leads everyone outside.

There are...........................................................

Slabs of meat out here.

"I love unicorns. :)"
A snap of a camera breaks the silence. "Awesome."
"Aren't they adorable? :)"
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 16:37:24
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:48:35
"Yeah, okay, never mind, fuck this."
Lumi
2024-12-14 16:38:10
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Posted by ID #29
Last edit: 2024-12-14 17:08:19
"WHAT. THE FUCK IS THIS?"
Shoop
2024-12-14 16:39:13
Shoop Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:49:24
Shoop looks around, trying to find the unicorns. They must be here somewhere, amidst all this meat...
"Why the fuck are y'all freaking out, you wanted to see baby unicorns. :)"
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 16:39:56
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:50:11
"Exactly, Princess, you mind telling us what the fuck those grotesque meat slurry is doing? This isn't unicorns, these are fucking beak meat."
Beeatrix
2024-12-14 16:40:41
Beeatrix Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:48:08
Beeatrix buzzes as she lays witness to what appears to be baby Unicorns. She is happy as ever and happy to see the infant form of Unicorns. Unicorns are weird, but majestic creatures!

"Are these slabs of meat the Unicorns?"
Lumi
2024-12-14 16:40:52
Lumi Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:50:44
"Those are not BABIES, those are PILES OF CARRION."
O-4
2024-12-14 17:09:37
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Posted by ID #29
Last edit: 2024-12-14 17:09:58
"They! Are! Unicorns! :)"
"All unicorns are dudes. How do you think they reproduce? :)"
"WELL I CERTAINLY WASN'T EXPECTING THIS!"
"Were you not aware? Unicorns reproduce asexually via a form of budding."
"That's right! Having brawls with each other and the gore turns into a baby unicorn! :)"
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 17:11:54
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:54:50
"Alright, alright, they are cute, I love unicorns, especially when they talk to you in your mind and judge you for every action you make, always watching, plotting, and stopping events, then threatening to crush you under their hooves."

"Whoopie."
"...I'm confused."
"From an evolutionary perspective, it sort of makes sense. If an individual is fit enough to fight, it is more likely to be injured, and so more likely to reproduce."
Beeatrix shrugs, "Like the Virgin Mary?"
Lumi
2024-12-14 17:12:13
Lumi Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:57:23
"WHAT?"
"Who is Mary and why is she telling everyone's she's a Virgin, lol? :)"
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 17:14:44
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:54:05
"I don't know, someone said she is a wrestler or somethin'."
Beeatrix apologizes, "Sorry! Apart of my recent reading material. Off hand reference. Please, continue."
Shoop
2024-12-14 17:15:23
Shoop Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:55:18
Shoop wanted to hug the baby unicorns, but he's not really sure about hugging slabs of meat... that seems kind of gross.
"Why does it have to be meat. Why. That's my biggest question just WHY."
O-4
2024-12-14 17:15:38
O-4 Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:55:36
"Honey."
"Sweetie."
"Cupcake."
"You would prefer with was done the other way? :))))))"
"First off, never call me any of those things again."
"Second."
Lumi
2024-12-14 17:17:22
Lumi Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:57:07
"...."

Lumi forgot.
Beeatrix
2024-12-14 17:16:49
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Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:58:02
Beeatrix raises her arm as she has a question.
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 17:17:10
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:58:35
"Alright, point made, let's move on from this soon-to-be very uncomfortable topic about the world's worst beings, and put your hand down, Beeatrix. You don't wanna know."
"Yeah that's right and I'm right. :)"
Lumi mutters under sparks breath, "yeah yeah iM rIgHt oh shut it--"
Beeatrix sighs and puts down her arm upon Aqua's request. "What? It was nothing gross. I wanted to ask why Princess is cultivating Unicorns in castle grounds."
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 17:19:39
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:01:13
Aqua facepalms.
"...What's the other way?"
"The other way would be-"

AN ENTIRE SECTION OF THIS EVENT HAS BEEN REMOVED FOR OUR PROTECTION.

Aquamarine
2024-12-14 17:21:36
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 12:59:39
"PRINCESS."

"WHY.'
Shoop
2024-12-14 17:25:30
Shoop Profile
Posted by ID #29
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:01:42
"..." Shoop preferred when he thought babies grew from the ground.
"I am speechless! Ha ha!"
"So, you all agree now. :)"
"Plus, the meat piles are totally metal. :)"
"Hell yeah they are!"
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 17:25:19
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:01:29
"I fucking hate this trip, I fucking hate this trip. I wanna go home, I wanna go back to my ship, not this stupid unicorn-infested planet."
Lumi
2024-12-14 17:25:41
Lumi Profile
Posted by ID #29
Last edit: 2024-12-14 17:29:16
"I've about had it with this damn interview."
O-4
2024-12-14 17:25:52
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Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:01:56
"So, you guys want to ask something important, or are we done talking about my unicorn garden? :)"
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 17:26:00
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:05:15
Aqua raises her hand. "Why are unicorns so mean?"
O-4
2024-12-14 17:26:15
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Posted by ID #29
Last edit: 2024-12-14 17:29:46
"No bitches. :)"
O-4
2024-12-14 17:26:22
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Last edit: 2024-12-14 17:29:59
"That's not a joke. :)"
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 17:26:34
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #29
Last edit: 2024-12-14 17:28:36
"Yeah I assumed so."
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 17:26:47
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #29
Last edit: 2024-12-14 17:28:41
"No bitches."
Shoop
2024-12-14 17:26:53
Shoop Profile
Posted by ID #29
Last edit: 2024-12-14 17:28:57
"Um, whats the coolest thing in this castle? That would be fun to see, ha, ha..."
O-4
2024-12-14 17:27:04
O-4 Profile
Posted by ID #29
Last edit: 2024-12-14 17:30:06
"I could explain how deep the unicorn hole goes."
Lumi
2024-12-14 17:27:55
Lumi Profile
Posted by ID #29
Last edit: 2024-12-14 17:29:19
"DO NOT."
"That is a conversation I would love to have, but one that is likely better experienced over text messages with a trash can nearby."
Beeatrix
2024-12-14 17:28:15
Beeatrix Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:02:35
Beeatrix was wondering when they'd get to start asking questions again, and it seems now is a good time to ask some of her own. Help out with the interviews!
Beeatrix attempts to ask Princess, "I would like to ask if you have any plans on attempting to terraform the barren wastes outside to fix the food issues present in your community?"
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 17:30:27
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:03:46
Aqua, for one, kind of wishes to know because it would help her deal with the king better, but she knows better than to hijack the group's trip.
O-4
2024-12-14 17:31:17
O-4 Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:04:12
"See unicorns evolved in herds. Obviously, these herds had a head male who would have to fight other males all the time to protect his land."
"So for some reason they evolved physic powers, which means they were anomalous the whole time."
"Imagine the unicorn secretly being an anomaly....."
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 17:31:56
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:05:45
"HAH, SO THEY CAN TALK, I TOLD YOU GUYS!"
"No they don't talk that's stupid."
"......"
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 17:32:40
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Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:05:52
"I give."
Lumi
2024-12-14 17:33:27
Lumi Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:06:49
Lumi has tuned Princess out and instead is going to search for literally anything interesting. Anything's better than this.
"Wait, unicorns are psychic? Can my unicorn read my thoughts? Thats so cool!"
"But unicorns know all of your emotions. They do this cause unicorns are scared of male unicorns. So they all ping everyone around them to see who is pissed off."
"And then they run over to whoever is pissed off and maul them to death."
"Unicorns are so amazing. They protect all the herbivores in their area by killing predators. :)"
Beeatrix walks over to Aqua and tells them, "If it makes you feel better. I bee-lieve you!"
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 17:35:04
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:07:14
Aqua has stooped so low that a Bee pun is relieving to her.
"So what is the best way to deal with a unicorn, if said unicorn could talk and was psychically judging you for your choices?"
".................................................. :)"
2024-12-14 17:35:27
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Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:07:57

Princess does not reply to Aqua.
Aqua is surprised to see Princess staring at her, but then quickly breaks eye contact.

"So in location where you find a unicorn, you'll find more herbivores."
Pit
2024-12-14 17:37:05
Pit Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:08:10
"Yes, unicorns seem so peaceful....."
"Cause they already killed all the shitty assholes in their area. :)))))"

Everyone is starting to remember why one should never ask a horse girl about horses......

"And that's why they're so often portrayed as being peaceful! That's so interesting!"
"...Well it's good that everyone here is nice and cool!"

Beeatrix raises her hand again. As if she had a question. Meanwhile, Lumi finally has an idea.

"What do you want? :)"
"Oi, Princess. I also got a question, after Bee."
Beeatrix
2024-12-14 17:40:06
Beeatrix Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:08:48
"What do you do with these baby Unicorns when they grow up? You can not keep them here together since they are all male, right?"
"Oh, that's a good question! I didn't think of that!"
"Obviously. I move them to the wasteland and let them go. :)"
"And then they clean up every evil asshole out there. :))))"
"SPEEDY GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM THAT MEAT" Aqua dashes off for a while to retrieve her Arise.
Aquamarine rolls a 20 sided die. A 6 is rolled.

Aqua fails to catch the arise in time. It is nibbling on the meat.

"If you eat raw unicorn meat, you grow a unicorn in you. :)"

Beeatrix makes mental note of the Princesses interests in using Unicorns as naturally occurring defenses. But comes to have a couple of other questions.
But it seems events are happening. A pet has nibbled a meat slab.

"Oh."
"So they turn into a unicorn? Wow!"
Lumi
2024-12-14 17:44:48
Lumi Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:10:10
"No Shoop, that arise is gonna probably die if it ain't helped."
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 17:42:50
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:10:00
"FUCK, IS THERE A CURE OR SOMETHING???"
"Take your arise to a vet asap. :)"
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 17:44:36
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:09:55
Aqua grabbed the arise. "WHERE IS THE NEAREST VET?"
"Hmmmmm I think you're just going to need to put your hand in there and take out the meat. :)"
"I'm sure it'll be fine!"
"Fuck fuck fuck okay fuck fuck fuck."
"Eh, you need emotional support there buddy?"

Aqua gently puts Speedy down and attempts to explain the situation before slowly trying to open his mouth and retrieve the meat, with Mooncake providing emotional support with [Cheerleader].

Aquamarine rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +3. A 14 is rolled.
2024-12-14 17:47:31
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Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:11:24

Aqua grabs the meat out, the arise is saved!
Beeatrix is surprised that Aqua actually listened to such advice, but is sure they can handle themselves!

"NICE!"
Stem
2024-12-14 17:48:18
Stem Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:10:58
"Intriguing. With all this information, I think we can probably make an article about unicorns that emphasizes the protection of prison planet as a conservation effort for them. It sucks, but people are more moved by animal suffering than notail suffering."
"It sucks but you're right. A million people could die and that's just a fucking number"
"But a cat dies? That's "fucked up." :)"
"So out of spite I throw every cat in the soup. :)"
"It's fucking petty, lol, but I'm feeling real petty as shit. :)"
"Do you want a hug?"
"Don't fucking touch me or you're going in the soup too. :)"
"She did that to me once!"
"The soup was cold."
"We didn't have wood to make a fire.....:)"
Beeatrix comments on this situation being described by Princess and the Court Lady Simp, "That is pretty sad."
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 17:53:36
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:15:08
Aqua is curled up crying with her arise during all of this.
Lumi
2024-12-14 17:50:16
Lumi Profile
Posted by ID #29
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:14:47
"That out of the way, Princess, I got a question for ya now."
"Shut the fuck up, you don't know what sad is. What's your stupid question? :)))))"
Lumi
2024-12-14 17:52:25
Lumi Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:14:38
"Well, my question is if y' have any clue what's goin' on with all these earthquakes?"
"If the answer is 'The End Times' I won't be surprised but I will be pissed."
"Oh! Cool! I wanted to ask if you ever considered seeking aid from species outside Notail control. I heard Oobleins do all kinds of good deeds! They gave sharks machines I believe." Beeatrix says as she strokes her beard.
O-4
2024-12-14 17:53:22
O-4 Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:14:29
"You think I have the funding to investigate the ground shaking? I just put up with it. :)"
"I barely have enough funding to take a bath with water. :)"
"Well yanno I'd think you'd know at least SOMETHING."
"Why do you fucking think that? :)"
"Do you fucking think I have 20 hands? Eyes everywhere???? :))))"
"Everyone makes me do everything. I'm the only one who CAN fucking do anything. What have YOU done? Huh??? :))))))"
"Tell me bitch. :))))))"
"I've been here helping people out all day and you're playing with fucking animals. :)))))"
"Unlike you, I haven't been a massive fucking dick."
"So you should have enough time to fucking investigate earthquakes, right???? :))))"
"Oh sorry, let me guess "I don't know how to investigate earthquakes. :)"
"Yeah? Yeah, we're just playing?"
"I mean she got a point Lumi maybe we shouldn't...."
Suddenly, Shoop notices that Beeatrix has one of those shiny round ball thingies. "Oh, what's inside that? Did you get one of the wormy guys? They look so funny and floppy! Can I see it?"
Beeatrix pulls out her Golden Orb, sticky with what is hopefully honey. "Oh! This thing? Oh sure. I can open it. Just let me remember the magical spell required."
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 17:57:33
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:18:01
"Wait, not those disgusting things!!!" Aqua snarls at Shoop and clutches her arise closer.
"Let's see. Opendium thus Orbicos? Relasay The Shompo!"
2024-12-14 18:01:20
Profile
Posted by ID #29
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:18:21

Beeatrix attempts to toss her Capsule onto the Castle floor like a ball.
Shoop is currently too distracted to pay attention to his friends fighting. He wants to see the funny shrimp thing!

Aquamarine
2024-12-14 18:02:37
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:19:07
Aqua is freaking out, then notices them tossing the capsule. "Oh fuck no."
She clutches her arise and would pray to some sort of god if she believed in any of them.
"So now you're giving ME shit cause I don't have time to find out why the fucking planet's crust is moving. :)"
"I wasn't givin' you shit, you asshole!"
"Yer the one who got all pissy first!"
"Like that backtrack lol. :)"
"Folks like you do that all the time. You hint at shit but when I throw shit back harder it's suddenly "Oh noooo I wasn't throwing shit!!!!!" :)))"
"This is not proper interview procedure. Please refrain from antagonizing the interviewee." Stem tries to defuse the situation.
Lumi is too focused on Princess.
"I was askin' you a simple fucking question, for fuck's sake!"
"Sorry if my passive aggression is at a higher tier than your baby passive aggression. :)"
"Watch I can be like you. :)"
Lumi
2024-12-14 18:04:50
Lumi Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:20:48
"Oh, I can show ya real aggression if you want, motherfucker."
"Uhhh guys the capsule guys..."
Beeatrix is crouched down next to her orb, that is on the floor. She pokes it with her staff. "Wrong magical words?"
"Oh my hate of god, stop getting so mad!!!!! I'm just joking around. ;)"
"We're having fun, lol stop taking a joke so harshly. :)"
"Just 'cuz you call the shots here don't mean I'm afraid to tear you apart."
"I think you're... taking this a bit too far."
"Hey folks I got a question for you all. :)"
"Did I at any point threaten to kill anyone??? :)"
Lumi
2024-12-14 18:08:04
Lumi Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:22:17
"YOU WERE GONNA PUT ONE OF US IN THE SOUP FOR FUCK'S SAKE, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A THREAT TO ME!"
"Everyone get your receipts! :)"
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 18:09:27
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:21:53
Aqua is nervously slowly backing towards the rest of the group. She was no longer afraid of the capsules.
"Hm, maybe it didn't work properly. Hey unicorn, can you help?" Shoop commands his unicorn to try and open the capsule. He fails to notice its restlessness, as the people around it are becoming more aggressive.
Beeatrix asks of the orb, "Oh! I know! Orb, can you please open? My friend here wants to see you!"
Beeatrix rolls a 20 sided die. A 3 is rolled.

The capsule refuses to open.

Aquamarine
2024-12-14 18:11:38
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:22:58
Aqua nervously slides over, grabs the capsule, and tries to shut up the rest so they can watch the fight. She is also clutching her arise protectively as Speedy struggles to get out of her grip.
"Let's save this for when we need it."
"Aw shoot. They are not feeling up to it.", Beeatrix says as she tries to pick her orb up, but then Aqua tries to scoot in to take it.
Beeatrix is surprised and asks, "Oh? You want to try and open it, Aqua! You have talons! You are likely the better one to open it. The plastic is too smooth for me to grip."
Stem
2024-12-14 18:10:37
Stem Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:25:42
"I am saying this not as a journalist but as a friend, Lumi, this current situation is kind of on you."
"I don't give a single shit."
"You have 5 seconds to apologize before I take out the unicornnip. :)"
"You think I'm afraid of a fuckin' horse?"
"By the way this is not a death threat it's just going to suck. :)"
"I make it clear when it's a death threat. :)"
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 18:12:24
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:25:23
"Wait... a.... HORSE?"
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 18:12:43
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:25:20
"W-w-w-ooop wooop wooop wooop!"
"Thanks for the clarification." Spark's voice is laced with venom.
"Yep. That wasn't a sorry. :)"

Princess rubs unicorn nip on her arms.

[MY LITTLE PONY - FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC (Metal Cover)]
"I take no responsibility for what is about to happen Lumi. You dun goofed."
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 18:17:32
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:26:16
"Yea-yeah-WOOP- yeah, maybe later, let's get out of here before he-WOOP WOOP WOOP!"
"Uh oh...."

Shoop finally realises what was going on. Too late.

"SNORT."
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 18:18:22
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:26:39
Aqua points. "Spark started it."
"'Sup ya big brute."
Beeatrix
2024-12-14 18:22:01
Beeatrix Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:29:45
Beeatrix then looks towards everything else occurring right now and senses that things are apparently going wrong.
She comments, "Oh, it is the Diviner! King! Hello King."
Beeatrix waves!
Pit
2024-12-14 18:22:31
Pit Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:29:51
"Nah, this is a prime video op, I can't let this slide! King is so fucking sick!"
King
2024-12-14 18:21:45
King Profile
Posted by ID #29
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:29:51
YOUR CRIME IS PISSING OFF THE POPE. HOW DO YOU PLEAD?
"Um, why can't we all get along? Please? I can give hugs if anyone wants them."
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 18:23:58
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:29:30
"WOOOOOP!"
"Guilty as fuck. Tell her to get off her ass and fight me instead of sending a glorified pony after me."
King rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +10. An 11 is rolled.

King jumps forward to bite at Lumi, but [Disaster] strikes. He trips on the shell of an arise. He falls ontop of a stake sticking out of the ground which was meant to support the unicorn meat. King is critically injured and helpless as he tries out push himself out of this.

Aquamarine
2024-12-14 18:25:11
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:30:11
"Whoops."
"Oh shit."
"Oh no!!!"
Lumi
2024-12-14 18:25:44
Lumi Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:30:36
"AHAHAHAHAHA, TAKE THAT BITCH!"
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 18:27:47
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:30:51
"KING, SHIT!" Aqua dashes over to King, feeling bad for the situation.
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 18:29:05
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:32:35
"I DIDN'T MEAN TO LEAVE SPEEDY THERE. HE SLIPPED. I SWEAR, PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ME AGAIN!" Aqua grabs Speedy.

"NAH, IF HE JUDGES ANYONE IT'S GONNA BE ME."
"There's....blood EVERYWHERE!!!"
Stem
2024-12-14 18:28:52
Stem Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:32:12
"Oh fuck. Ok, you're the unicorn expert. Should we get the stake out of him, or will that just cause more blood loss?"
"This is....ok....... Unicorn's regenarate really good, they can regrow whole limbs. As long as no one touches him he'll be fine."
"Uh, uh, uh, I'll help!" Shoop rushes over to King and tries to push him off the stake.
"Oh shoot! King tripped! We should call upon a nurse or vet. Oh nooooo!"
Beeatrix chimes in with as she sees... all the blood and mess. She is, however, unphased.
She rushes to the Party Leader's aid to help King off the stake!
"Shit! Stop! Did you not hear her?"
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 18:30:29
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:33:10
"O-okay. I'm so so sorry, I needed to talk to him today... but that will have to wait. GUYS, DON'T TOUCH HIM-"
"NAH. DON'T LISTEN TO HER."
Beeatrix pauses. "Why? He is hurt!"
"She just said not to touch him! She's the unicorn expert here!"
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 18:31:29
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:34:35
"LUMI, IF I AM STILL TRAPPED BY A GOD AT THE END OF ALL THIS, I WILL SHRED YOU TO PIECES."
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 18:31:33
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:34:32
"AGAIN."
Lumi
2024-12-14 18:31:47
Lumi Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:34:44
"I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE CAUSE HE WAS TRYING TO BITE ME GODDAMMIT?"
"Serves this bastard right!"
"He was trying to bite you cause you were being a little shit! :)"
"AND YOU FUCKING WEREN'T?!"
"I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO GET TOGETHER AND LISTEN."
"WHY CAN'T PEOPLE BE NICE TO EAAAAACH OTHER???????"
"THAT'S WHAT I SAID!!!"
Beeatrix
2024-12-14 18:34:20
Beeatrix Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:37:06
Beeatrix doesn't proceed with helping King. She will listen to the others and step away from all the blood and gore.

She is very much conflicted and says, "I don't know! I agree with the Court Lady! Why are we fighting! Boohoo."
She fakes her emotions some more.
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 18:33:54
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:36:42
"LUMI, I AM TRYING TO CURE MYSELF OF THIS WRETCHED GOD THAT HAS ITS CLAWS ON ME HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT IF THE ONE WHO TOLD ME ABOUT IT IS DEAD, LUMI? THINK ABOUT THAT."
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 18:33:59
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:36:40
"PLUS, A MAN IS DYING."
You all think about how King hates all of you. He wants to step on all of you.
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 18:35:28
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:38:07
Aqua shuts up and just sits pathetically next to King.
"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE HORSE AND I CERTAINLY DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT IT'S OWNER."
"Ya'll ain't seein it? That fucker on the throne is just a fucking jackass and a coward."
"That's it. I'm done giving a shit about this bitch. :)"
"O-5. :)"
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 18:36:12
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:38:57
"W-who...? Oh cod."
Stem
2024-12-14 18:36:25
Stem Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:39:08
"Yeah, we had that one coming."
Spark turns to Princess, snarling.
"When are you gonna fight me yerself? Huh?? Too goddamn scared? Fucking good."
"Just cause I don't fight doesn't mean I'm a coward. Sorry you got issues sweetie but aim those at yourself. :)"
"Seriously, we all agree "Oh you won't fight me waaaa baby" is the stupidest arguement, right? :)"
"For real how much more baity can you be? :)"
Beeatrix attempts to give reason to the situation, "It might be a good idea to perhaps leave. Things are clearly getting out of hand everyone. We are clearly unwanted here... Poor King. I will send him a basket of honey later."
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 18:39:30
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:40:23
Aqua is fucking helpless and just sitting next to the judgmental horse. Once again, she is wrapped up in this shit. All she wanted was off this planet; she was so, so close.
"Indeed. I wholeheartedly apologize that this interview turned out like this."

Mooncake has been shoved towards Aqua.

"Hold her."
Beeatrix
2024-12-14 18:40:30
Beeatrix Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:41:11
Beeatrix tries to open her capsule once again.
Aqua holds her and then looks down at the capsule being opened. "Please fucking open I am so tired of this."
"I am so so sorry."
"I just, I just, wanted to have a fun adventure... can't we make things better?" Shoop bemoans to no one and everyone.
"Princess. Lumi. Would you both be comfortable with me filming what is about to occur?"
"Do not."
"Very well." Stem puts the cover on his camera.
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 18:42:22
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:41:51
"K-King, I'm sorry to ask you this, but what is the best way out of this situation,. I don't want my friend to be maimed. I am so, so sorry about what happened, but I need your help. I promise after this, I will not do anything horrible ever again."
[DOOM Eternal OST 29: Gladiator Boss (Colosseum Theme)]

O-5 lands in the unicorn garden.

"Well shit, ain't it aliens? uvu"
"Hey O-5. That one is a clockwork. :)"
"Damn. uvu"
"Oh so now we're bringing that shit into the equation?"
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 18:44:42
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:42:55
Aqua is sitting here protecting both King, her arise, and moon.
"Oh! O-5!" Beeatrix waves at him. She knows what will happen completely.
"Barbeque already? uvu"
"Nah I'm going to be the better person, just telling you so you don't kill them. :)"
"I rather kill it. uvu"
"No. :)"
"Yeah. uvu"
"Don't. Kill. It. :)"
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 18:46:41
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:43:54
"T-thank you, Princess."
"..........................................."
"I get to kick it over the fence though, right? uvu"
"Fuck yeah. :)"
"Oh yeah, big scary clockwork comin' yer way! Oh boo hoo what are we gonna do?"
Lumi
2024-12-14 18:47:19
Lumi Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:44:04
"I'll give ya something fucking scary. Come at me, motherfucker."
"Oh my hateful gods, the clockwork is talking like a baby! :)"
"Adorable. uvu"
"Going to kick it though. uvu"
"I apologize for all of this inconvenience, O-5 sir. We were only attempting an interview, when Lumi here got unnecessarily hostile."
Lumi
2024-12-14 18:48:24
Lumi Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:44:56
"I will fucking maul both of you, right here, right now."
Beeatrix is oddly familiar with getting kicked in the face and says in anticipation, "No, I'm just being nice. Turning the other cheeeee-"
O-5 rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +10. A 22 is rolled.

Lumi is kicked out the fence.

The clockwork is out.

"Clockwork? Beeatrix? Baby? What's going on???"
"Shenanigans."
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 18:50:29
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:45:57
Aqua sighs in relief and practically falls over. Her arise escapes her grip and runs around giddily.
"Oh poor, Lumi."
"Poor bitch. :)"
"Anyway, I don't want to talk to you people anymore. Fuck you people I'm going home. :)"

Princess leaves.

Aquamarine
2024-12-14 18:51:19
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:47:16
"I-i didn't want this to happen. I am... so so sorry. I'm so sorry King. I hope you recover well. I know we don't see eye to eye, but. Good luck."

Aqua looks at Mooncake, who is whining, trying to escape, and lets off a pathetic sigh. Never had she cared so much about everything. Usually, it was none of her business, but now she just felt...sad.
"I feel like I'm going to vomit....."
"Is there anyway I can do anything to make up for this. I understand if not."
"Thank you for your time. I will avoid mentioning the events here today in my unicorn article."
"Nah mention it, mate. uvu"
"Less of you that come here, the better. uvu"
"Damn, this unicorn really is stuck here isn't it. uvu"
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 18:54:30
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:49:16
"Yeah, is he going to be okay? I mean, I'll be honest, he made me mad a lot, but I didn't want.... this"
"Makes sense. If I do though, I'll make sure to play up the self-defense aspect. I want to avoid fearmongering about the people actually living here."
"...I don't know what to do now."
Beeatrix seemed rather happy about things when she is not acting sad. She tries to walk over to O-5, the guy whom kicked Lumi out of the park, and asks him. "Excuse me! Can you open this?"
"That shit is an anomaly. uvu"

O-5 grabs it.

O-5 rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +10. A 28 is rolled.
O-5 pulls it out and hands it to Beeatrix, strangling its neck.
"Hope it kills you in your sleep, mate. :)"
" *uvu"
Beeatrix is slightly intimidated by her pet... She tells O-5, "Thank you very much, O-5. You are very kind. Give my apologies to the Princess and King."
"Is there any way we can help the unicorn, mister 5?"
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 18:58:30
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #29
Last edit: 2024-12-14 18:58:41
"Is King going to be okay?"
"He's a damn unicorn. uvu"
"Look around you. uvu"

O-5 pulls the rod out of King, just causing him to bleed more.

Aquamarine
2024-12-14 18:59:32
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:49:55
"WHAT?"

There's.....unicorn meat everywhere.

"King bitch will be fine. uvu"
Beeatrix raises her arms and cries out, "Oh! A baby shower! I didn't know these were so literal with unicorns!" She says as she motions to all the giblets around.
Aquamarine
2024-12-14 18:59:57
Aquamarine Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:51:28
Shoop attempts to hug King as an apology for everything that happened.
"Stop touching the damn unicorn before he uses your meat to heal, mate. uvu"
"Just tell him I'm sorry. Hopefully we will be able to talk soon." Aqua nods and drags the pets away.
Stem turns back to O-5. "I would like to get an interview with you, but this is clearly not a good time. Any chance we could schedule one for the future?"
"Mate, I don't want to talk to anyone. Ask your question. uvu"
"Oh, no, it's fine. I'm all interviewed out myself to be honest. Don't want to waste my energy on someone who clearly isn't fully willing for an interview. Should you ever be in a more talkative mood, contact me." Stem hands O-5 a business card, and leaves it at that.

O-5 does not extend his hands. He does not take the card. He watches the card fall to the floor.
He then crushes it underfoot.

"Understandable. Have a nice day."
"Today is horrible, and I would like a hug."
Beeatrix looks over to the crying Polynoid and opens her arms wide, "I can go for a hug. Nuzzle buddies."
KIKIKIKIKIKIKIKIKIKIKIKIKI!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Shut up your damn alarm clock, mate. uvu"
"Oh! What is wrong boy? Girl? I don't know what it is but... I'll get to you after a good Rapport Check with the Polynoid." She gives the Shrimp a pat before buzzing off to go hug pile!!!
"Um... can I hug you?" Shoop approaches the polynoid.
"Wuuuuuuuuuuuuu" That appears to be a 'Yes.'
Shoop
2024-12-14 19:05:09
Shoop Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:52:32
Shoop hugs the polynoid. Honestly, he needed a hug himself at this point. Tailmics were way less stressful to be around than this place.
Beeatrix attempt to join Shoop in the hug with the Polynoid, crying out, "I cast: Hug!"
"I didn't even find any animals..." Shoop says in a low voice while hugging. It had been a momentary thought at the start of this little adventure, a might-as-well idea that he'd mostly forgotten about. But for some reason, he just kept thinking about it. Maybe it was easier than thinking about everything else.
The polynoid hugs everyone.
"I just don't know why everyone can't get along. I wish everyone just agreed on everything."
"Sniff....people arguing stresses me out!!!"
"I don't want anyone to be mad....."
"Tough. uvu" O-5 picks up the polynoid.
"We're done here. Get off my lawn, mate. uvu"
"It was nice to meet you mister O-5! You're so cool!" Pit waves goodbye as they head out. They were never good with hugs.
Beeatrix looks star-eyed at this macho action, "Oooo! Strong!" She then stops and nods, "Yes, sir. I'll see myself out with our Party Leader, Shoop."
"Are you ready to go, Leader?"
"Okay..." Shoop wanders out of the meat garden, slowly, his unicorn at his heels. He doesn't feel like riding it.
Later that day...
2024-12-14 19:08:42
Profile
Posted by ID #29
Last edit: 2024-12-14 19:08:51
[You're the Journalist! - Bugsnax (2020) OST]

A polynoid enters the confession booth.

"People. Are. Disgusting. ALL people."
"I want to go back home. I want to go back home!!!"
"Back at home, everyone is a polynoid, and no one fights...well they don't fight really badly."
"I really loved it there."
Polynoid Helper
2024-12-14 19:09:35
Polynoid Helper Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:54:29
"B-But then we had a mission to do target practice on Prison Planet......"
"And I got attacked before I saw it coming."
"I should have been killed.....but something else happened that delayed my execution....."
"So I escaped!...."
"But....I got damaged and polynoids would never accept damaged goods."
"I couldn't go back home.........and when they caught me, they said."
Polynoid Helper
2024-12-14 19:10:27
Polynoid Helper Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:55:01
"'As per tradition, if you escape a prison, you get to be free!'"
"But....I could only stay around."
"Princess.......she's mean to me. I pretend I don't notice......"
"But I don't bother pretending I notice."
"Cause I deserve it."
"Why should anyone be fucking nice to you after you fucked with them?"
"I know I should start understanding aliens, and understanding their anger....."
"But I don't want to!!!! I don't! I want to be a polynoid, and I want everyone to agree with each other, and I want people to stop.........I want people to just....be polynoids."
"..............................but that's just asking for everyone else to die............."
Polynoid Helper
2024-12-14 19:11:37
Polynoid Helper Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:55:39
"Including me."
"I like Princess. I like being around her."
"I like pretending that her comments are real."
"I like pretending, that when she calls me super useful, it's true!"
"I have nothing else going on in my life, other than this prison."
"So......"
Polynoid Helper
2024-12-14 19:12:19
Polynoid Helper Profile
Posted by ID #276
Last edit: 2025-11-18 13:56:00
"I like to play pretend. No one else will accept me, and they shouldn't, so....."
"Why not be the super cool assistant to Princess!"
"Being stepped on is all I deserve for what I've done!"
No one is typing.