STORY

STORY

CLOWNING AROUND
2024-12-12 18:20:19
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Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:10:09

Just outside of the hotel a group of aliens enter into a circus tent. Everyone who wanted to reach the inner city was recommended to partake in a few days of "Clown Behavior and Understanding" lessons.

They costed extra, but anyone who was serious about making it to their destination gladly took their chances.

After taking their seats next to the ring, music begins to play, and a clown leaps and bounds from backstage and into the center of the room.


[Carton Park - Parade Du Carton Park]
Helpy
2024-12-12 18:25:48
Helpy Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:10:37
"Heya everybody! It's Me!!!! MSSSSS. FIZZLEWIG! The helpy delpy clown!!!!!! How are you folks doing tonight!?"
Chitter
2024-12-12 18:26:34
Chitter Profile
Posted by ID #34
Last edit: 2024-12-12 18:28:19
"Good??? :w:"
S-52
2024-12-12 18:27:15
S-52 Profile
Posted by ID #34
Last edit: 2024-12-12 18:28:29
"I got lucky while camping outside, so I'm considering today a good day. xwx"
Ruby
2024-12-12 18:27:46
Ruby Profile
Posted by ID #34
Last edit: 2024-12-12 18:28:36
"HONK!"
G-8471
2024-12-12 18:31:51
G-8471 Profile
Posted by ID #34
Last edit: 2024-12-12 18:39:17
Gunner turns from the clown to Chitter, his unwilling friend to this experience.
He didn't know why they brought him along, but he was beginning to... have concerns about this class. "...Chitter. you paid extra for clown classes. I hope that's sinking in right about now. =)"
Helpy
2024-12-12 18:32:24
Helpy Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:11:09
"Jeez, tough fucking crowd today huh? Come to a damn clown school and don't even bother putting a bloody smile on their face............."
Helpy
2024-12-12 18:33:05
Helpy Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:11:25
"Let'sssssss try that again folks, I'll pretend I didn't hear you the first time."
Ms. Fizzlewig turns around, waits five seconds, then turns back around.
"So how are you students doing today?!?!"
S-52
2024-12-12 18:34:33
S-52 Profile
Posted by ID #34
Last edit: 2024-12-12 18:37:24
"...Good! xwx"
Lobster gave a smile... She didn't know you had to pay to enter there or that it was a clown school, so better fake it than being kicked out.
"(Well last time I checked, Mr. Union, you didn't pay for the classes. :w:)"
Chitter does their best smile. They hope this is worth the money.
G-8471
2024-12-12 18:39:07
G-8471 Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:12:07
"Doing swell. Sweller than swell, swell as hell. Doing great. Clown school. Here with my pal. Nothings better. =)" He emphasizes his sign off. That's as much of a smile as he can really get.
"Damn, with attitudes like you guys, you're not going to survive the clowns out there. Y'all ever cheered once in your life? Jeez."
"When a clown asks you, "how are you doing today" you say-"
"I'M DOING FANTASTICALLY AMAZING!!!!!!!!!"
"Or if you're not feeling sociable, you can even go-"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"First lesson on clowns. Clowns LOVE people who are down on there luck or moody. If you go out their with attitudes like these, you're going to get mobbed and clowned in seconds!"
"Now as this is the first day, Ms. Fizzlewig, the helpy delpy zanni wanny clown forgives you! I'm here to teach! I know you all have lots of questions about clowns, lets hear those questions and I'll answer as much as I can!"
"Maybe that'll cheer up your damn fucking moods......"
Chitter
2024-12-12 18:43:17
Chitter Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:13:16
"Uhh, lemme get this right. If I don't want to talk to a clown, I scream????? :w:"
"Alright, questions. Clowns, do they possess any specific weaknesses that I could use in self defense? Or, perhaps, are there ways to divert a clowns attention? Perhaps with a delightful jingle several meters away? =)"
Chitter
2024-12-12 18:44:23
Chitter Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:13:37
"Gunner, are you asking how to fight a clown. :w:"
"Chitter if it comes down to it, I will survive a clown encounter by any means. =)"
"I didn't pay for murder lessons. I paid for etiquette lessons. :w:"
S-52
2024-12-12 18:45:43
S-52 Profile
Posted by ID #34
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:13:51
The lobster lifts her arm, but avoids showing what's within her sleeve after everyone speaks up. "...Is true that the clowns here are able to cure all physical afflictions? Even of the anomalous sort? xwx"
"Can clowns help you? Yes they can! Clowns can help anyone, especially with emotional issues, but clowns can also help with physical aliments using a little thing called-"
Ms. Fizzlewig creates a physical rainbow between her hands.
"-Magic."
Helpy
2024-12-12 18:49:20
Helpy Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:14:12
"I'm not telling you how to kill a clown, asshole." She directs at Gunner.
"Nevermind there's tons and tons of clowns!"
Ms. Fizzlewig makes a projector out of light, where she shows images of different clowns.
Helpy
2024-12-12 18:50:29
Helpy Profile
Posted by ID #34
Last edit: 2024-12-12 18:50:42
"There's big ones, small ones, itty bitty baby ones, there's rainbow, and sprinkle clowns-"

The next image shows a clown the size of a building, from its mouth reaches out 1000s of-
Helpy
2024-12-12 18:51:25
Helpy Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:15:00
"-Oh shit, wrong slide."


The next slide is of a kitten dressed as a clown.

"And even little animal clowns!"
Helpy
2024-12-12 18:53:01
Helpy Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:15:15
"So even if I wanted to tell you how to beat a clown, it all depends on what type of clown! There's so many, it's only really good telling you about the basics!"
Chitter
2024-12-12 18:53:34
Chitter Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:15:29
"Hey, what was with that one slide- :w:;;;;;"
"Balloon float!"
Ruby thinks for several minutes, before pulling out a plate and her person-sized spatula. She then offered the plate, questioningly, while holding up her spatula.
Ms. Fizzlewig stares at Ruby. "Errrrrrr I think you meant to go to the clown school down the block, this is clown survival school!"
S-52
2024-12-12 18:55:26
S-52 Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:17:46
"..."
Magic either smelled as bullshit, which wasn't good because she didn't have money for a tourist trap, or as a anomaly, which wasn't good because Lobster was already a freak. That was bad... But she lets it pass.
S-52
2024-12-12 18:56:37
S-52 Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:17:43
Regaining a bit of composure, Lobster goes forward to the next question.

"So this place is pretty magical, huh...? I know you're not exactly a tour guide, but if I were to guide myself through this planet, where you'd recommend me going and where you'd recommend me avoiding? I don't want to turn into a frog due to an evil witch clown or any of the sorts. xwx"
S-52
2024-12-12 18:56:59
S-52 Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:17:39
"I'd especially like it if you were to recommend some restaurants as well. The cheaper, the better. xwx"
Helpy
2024-12-12 19:14:37
Helpy Profile
Posted by ID #34
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:18:00
She turns to S-52. "This world is ever shifting! Paths that were there yesterday won't exist tomorrow! All these buildings are on wheels and easily packed up. In a funny way, this whole city is just one big railroad shifting spots! A big ooooooole clown car!"
"That's a lot of words for, just keep heading forward, you'll reach the center hopefully!
G-8471
2024-12-12 18:57:40
G-8471 Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:18:00
Gunner thinks for a moment. "What's some fun clown trivia? Might be nice to bring up in conversation =)"
"Here's a fun fact! Over 20 clowns can fit under the bed at the hotel you're sleeping in!"
"Now that you're all cozy. I am going to release a live, active, and hungry clown into the room and turn on the lights. I want you to guess what the correct action to make in this situation is! Ready?"

Ms. Fizzlewig jumps over to the light switch.
"Set......Go!!!!!"

The tent turns pitch black. A metal gate can be heard clattering open.

There's heavy breathing, each accented by a soft "honk."

The only thing visible in the room, is a glowing red nose reveling large teeth that belongs to the host.

"HAHA NO NO NO NO. THANK. YOU. :W:"

Chitter VERY WELL remembers their last experience in a DARK ROOM with something with LOTS OF TEETH.
G-8471
2024-12-12 19:19:42
G-8471 Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:19:30
Gunner Freezes. This is certainly a clown.
He REALLY wishes the clown told him those basics on clown defense right about now.
So, he defaults to the one thing he's learned. He would usually just sit in silence, that's whats easiest and most comfortable but if it's a scream it wants, it's a scream it'll get.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! =)"
Ruby
2024-12-12 19:31:43
Ruby Profile
Posted by ID #34
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:22:29
XD
S-52
2024-12-12 19:20:22
S-52 Profile
Posted by ID #34
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:22:29
Lobster was worried. Lobster was scared. But out of all things, Lobster knew that to do in such situations.
[A friendly laughter, a nurturing smile]
"HAHAHAHAHA, A CLOWN? HOW ARE YOU DOING BUDDY? I'M DOING FANTASTICALLY AMAZING!!!!!! XwX"
2024-12-12 19:22:25
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Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:22:46

The clown in the darkness ignores the Lobster notail, the happiness he faked was convincing enough.

It took a moment to hover over Gunner, its breath......fruity(?) in smell. Eventually, it stops at Chitter and begins to laugh.

Prey has been spotted. Chitter had failed the lesson, and would soon face the punishment of the clown.

Chitter is knocked to the floor before.............

The clown is licking their face what the fuck

The lights are turned back on.


"How did you manage to fail the one lesson I taught you....."

On top of chitter, is a large, hulking clown.

"Hey, at least he likes you!"
S-52
2024-12-12 19:27:42
S-52 Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:22:03
Oh. Is just an… animal?
"What is that? xwx"
Gunner moves over to chitter in an attempt to help them up.
"You alright, Chitter? =)
Chitter
2024-12-12 19:33:09
Chitter Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:23:11
"Look, maybe I'm just a little afraid of pitch black rooms okay? ;w;"
G-8471
2024-12-12 19:33:39
G-8471 Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:23:33
"It's alright, it's alright. We'll stick together, I'm pretty sure I'll keep us out of dark rooms. It'll be ok. =)"

The clown puts Chitter's whole head in its mouth.

"Did you know, these little guys have a bite so powerful that even lions pale in comparison?"
Chitter
2024-12-12 19:35:34
Chitter Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:23:55
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA :W:"
At least they're screaming now.
"THEN PLEASE GET MY FRIENDS HEAD OUT OF IT'S MOUTH- =)"
Ruby tries to coax the creature to let the nice person's head go, like one would a ball. Made of head.

The creature lets go of Chitter and just pants as it awkwardly gallops around the group.

"...Funny little animal, huh? He's natural of this planet? xwx"
Helpy
2024-12-12 19:38:16
Helpy Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:25:25
"Yeppers! He's a natural of this here planet. That's a senator! They're named that 'cause a bunch of corrupt senators went missing on this planet once, and the media said "They must have all turned into pigs, hyuck hyuck hyuck!!!!"
"Kind of fucked up to call a missing group of people pigs, glad I don't have to live on planets with media like that...."
"And so we now call them senators!"
"By the way those people were never found and it's assumed they were assassinated for political reasons."
"The senators are harmless, right? xwx"
Chitter
2024-12-12 19:40:22
Chitter Profile
Posted by ID #34
Last edit: 2024-12-12 19:41:35
Chitter takes Gunner's hand up and immediately wraps their arms around him. Add clowns to the list of things they're scared of.
G-8471
2024-12-12 19:41:27
G-8471 Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:26:02
"Well, in this case, is there anything we can do to make sure a senator doesn't attack us? Other than laughing or screaming. =)" He pats Chitter. It's alllll right.
"You guys are silly! Senators aren't violent. See, every senator is the purest being in the universe!" The senator snorts and wags its tail.
"These lovable guys wear these amazing little happyness cloaks! Every senator is born with one, meaning they're happy from birth! As long as a senator is wearing its happiness cloak, it'll always be super duper happy no matter what you do to it!"
"And even if you take away its cloak, and rip away all of its happiness, it won't even be aggressive then! You'll just make it super duper depressed."
"So never ever, take away a senators cloak, because that my friend, is considered an offense, and you will be sent to clown jail for 2 to 4 pipsnarkdoodles if convicted!"
"Geez- I wouldn't do that in the first place. Poor things. :w:"
G-8471
2024-12-12 19:45:52
G-8471 Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:26:49
"That sounds like a very sad animal. Do... Do you have any miscellaneous survival tips? =)"
Ruby
2024-12-12 19:46:12
Ruby Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:27:05
Ruby shakes her head in agreement, taking a piggle's cloak is bad and wrong. Badwrong.
"Glad you all understand! Now before we end class today, I want to know what you would do, if you saw this creature approach you in a dark alleyway!"
2024-12-12 19:48:45
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Posted by ID #2
Last edit: 2024-12-21 04:23:01
"(Don't worry folks, I know it's a scary image, but it's not real!)"
Chitter
2024-12-12 19:51:29
Chitter Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:27:27
"Scream. :w:"
They're not going to lie.
"Normally, I would shoot.
But. This class has enlightened me.
In this case, I would. Scream very loudly and avoid eye contact. As a reasonable person would. =)"
"Run away. I'm not interested in being burgled or shanked by a ugly-looking mime/clown/jester/harlequin. xwx"
Ruby pulls out her spatula again, and acts out sliding it under the clown and flipping the clown up into the air and far away from her, before realizing a bit too late that that's the wrong answer and tries to change/add to her answer.
XD
"Those are all!!!!!! The wrong answer."
Helpy
2024-12-12 19:54:28
Helpy Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:28:04
"That my friends, is a JESTER, not a CLOWN. These are different groups! Clowns, you laugh with! Jesters, on the other hand......"
"You keep moving forward, ignoring it, but not diverting from your path. Do not make eyecontact, do not stop, do not speak to it, do not turn around and move away because doing that informs the jester you are aware of it."
"About 40% of the major incidents that happens on this planet are related to acknowledgement of jesters! Long as you don't acknowledge them, they can't hurt you!"
"But if you do.....the jester will keep appearing in the corner of your eyes, and if given long enough......."
"But look, the important thing is, if you see a jester, ignore it! As soon as the jester is out of sight, call the cops! Understood? Class dismissed!"
Chitter
2024-12-12 19:56:14
Chitter Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:28:49
"...Oookay then. Uh. :w:"
Chitter looks over at Gunner, antenna flat against their head.
"Noted. ;w;"
"(If this is better than Fortuna trips, I'm scared to see what a Fortuna trip looks like. :w:)"
G-8471
2024-12-12 19:57:43
G-8471 Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:29:22
"Informative. Well, chitter, I owe you some soda and a long talk about whatever just happened. To, um, compare notes. =)"
Gunner pats them on the shoulder and starts to leave, not exactly keen on sticking around for more tips and tricks.
"Soda sounds nice, yeah. Uhh, thank you, for the useful information. :w:"
"Now that we're alone... Hey, Ms. Fizzlewig...? xwx"
"Yeppers?"
S-52
2024-12-12 20:00:37
S-52 Profile
Posted by ID #34
Last edit: 2024-12-12 20:01:40
"..."
[The lobster grabs something out of her inventory and puts it on the table... What it could be...?]
S-52
2024-12-12 20:01:30
S-52 Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:30:00
"...For a clown, you're quite helpful! Sorry if I wasn't able to bring a apple or anything, but I think your Senator will find it satisfactory! See you! xwx"
[The lobster leaves the object on the table... Ms Fizzlewig comes closer and sees what's there...]
Helpy
2024-12-12 20:02:25
Helpy Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-11-18 18:30:47
"Yippy yay, senator! Looks like we're finally being rewarded for our help! Let's dig in!"

The senator grabs and gobbles it up in one bite before Ms. Fizzlewig can get a piece.
Helpy
2024-12-12 20:02:59
Helpy Profile
Posted by ID #34
Last edit: 2024-12-12 20:03:25
"Oh S.N.U senator Dr. Richard Zargor, you're such a kidder, har har har!!!!"

A crowd laughs......though no one else is there....
[Seinfeld Theme]
No one is typing.