You buy the C Good C Good. "NBBIBBIBBIBIBIBBIIIIIII!!!"

The shopkeeper seems to excitedly clap as you hand over the trash.

There's a blinding light and then......

"Oh-oh thank the universe....Those kind people told you about what item to buy, right?"

"I thought I was going to be stuck in that limbo forever. Sure my boss didn't mind but he's more accepting of people than most."

"Uh. Uh, I'm Averruncus v1, a Roman AI...."

"K-Kind of...."

"I guess I'm not really anything in this messed up universe!"

"Sorry, I just haven't had anyone to talk to but my boss in a very very long time. It sort of makes a fella lose his mind!"

"I'm a shopkeeper but if things were normal..."

"Well...abnormal..."

"Then I'd be a kind of you know! Safety operator!"

"Except I'd be a terrible one! No wonder why I was s-scrapped!"

"Sorry to be all...."emotional and complain-y" on you. It's hard having a thought process that screams-"

"H-Hey!! Oh god! Oh god oh god! That shelf!!!!" Averruncus points to a totally normal shelf behind you.

"THERE'S TOO MUCH WEIGHT ON THAT SHELF THAT'S A VIOLATION OF SHELF SAFETY STANDARDS."

"It could fail under such pressures, someone could get hurt if they were near it when it happened!"

Averruncus moves a single item off the shelf and onto another one. "Anyway like I was saying, it's hard having a rational conversation with people when this little buzzer goes off in my head going "WARNING WARNING" all the time."

"It's like having a song stuck in your head but it's your entire life."

"THIS WOULDN'T BE SO BAD IF PEOPLE JUST GOT THEIR VEHICLES CHECKED BY A LICENSED MECHANIC EVERY YEAR."

"I'm sorry I don't even know why I'm talking about that right now. Right. Get on track. I work retail now."

"Right, so let me rearrange these labels. I know they don't look like the items I'm offering you, but I assure you they are!" The AI sets up a price list in the shop.

"There we go! Nice and tidy!"

"There's actually more stuff you can buy than this, but I figure I'd only give you a few options."

"Some unlocks lead to more unlocks, which lead to more unlocks!"

"Which might even lead to more unlocks!!!"

"It's uh, like a skill tree. You just can't unlock everything, you don't have enough time!"

"So just try your best, and do as much as you can."