"Just trying to enjoy a little vacation huh? Walked right into that freak's ambush? Same as me, and the cop over there."

"Sup everyone. Just a heads up. Not a cop."

One of said sealed has their stiffened form twitch, this twitch breaking out into the sound of their mumbling. "Fetid, exterior like full dreggs. Exteri- GOODNESS WHAT IS THAT SMELL"

"Sorry guys, I think that's coming from me- I get that a lot..."

"I'm not with these two."

"Dude I'm not even supposed to be able to smell, you got that rank coming through the radiowaves. For the love of literally everything I hope this is a dream. You're taking a shower the moment we log off."

The Investigator begins to monologue to herself.....out loud. "Just a detective's luck......"

"....................................."

"Greetings fellow prisoners. Would any of you happen to have a lock pick on hand?"

"I'm the Investigator." She chimes with a short bow. "And this is my partner, the Detective. Apologizes for my rudeness. What would be your names?"

They churn their gaze from their fellow sealed, if they had eyes they'd be watery. "One moment." They churn their head back with an audible creak. "Guys I think we got a random encounter login event, don't ruin this for me." Back towards the Investigator they gaze, " I," They say with a boom, " am Bookhuffer69. These are my compatriots." They nod towards the others.

"I'm PussiDestroyer69." She waves to the best of her ability.

"But of course ! I'm known as the GlizzyGuzzler21." He does a little curtsy.

"Bookhuffer69? GlizzyGuzzler21? PussiDestroyer69? These names felt like puzzles to me. Absurd, but I knew there had to be more to them than just surface level. A puzzle perhaps?" The Investigator turns her head to the only door into the room as she hears someone fiddling with the locks.

The Drakken knight strolls in, stoic as he locks the door behind him.

He takes a look around the room, as if worried anyone but the prisoners could be in here.

Before bursting out into a laugh. He takes out his cape, using it to give himself a more royal look. "AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! WHAT A BUNCH OF IDIOTS YOU ARE!"

"I forgot, which one of you got fooled by the sign that said "Free kisses?""

"Be honest!"

"Aw, so there's no kisses?"

"I think GlizzyGuzzler is less desperate."

"My standards are a little higher for sure..."

"HA! Well I'll have you know, there's no higher standards, higher blessings than getting kissed by the SKELETON KING!!!!!"

"HA! But you're all dirty peasants! To think I'd ever love any of you!"

"What large prisoners I have. Maybe I won't torture you all to death if you kneel to me."

"Might torture you still, just for the love of it!"

"(See this guy is totally a romanceable side quest. I was right to fall for those free kisses!)"

"Do you think there'd be more loot in it with that than if I just flicked him."

"(Might lose morale points for the bystanders...)"

The Skeleton King stares at the duo whispering a mere foot away from him. In fact all the "NPCS" in the room stared.

"Uhg, yeah. I don't know this guy sounds pretty villainous. Let's see where this goes."

"Unless, under your dressage, you are a woman of vampwelf nobility, I will not even consider your requests at seduction, you whores!"

"A person as high born as me will only marry within my rank. I am KING, and will not marry some otherworldly animal!"

"Nice try, "Skeleton King" you may have done the deed of locking us in this cell, but you're not the one who ordered it."

"W-What...I....I...." The effects of the Investigator's marsue's mind control was twisting the mind of the skeleton king, and those in the cell.

"HA! NEARLY HAD ME FOOLED! A case is never that simple! The REAL culprit is IN THE CELL WITH US!"

"I want to hear it now! Tell me all how you got in here!"

"One of us is a liar, and I will find out."

The Skeleton King rubs his temple. "I...I can't believe....I'm sorry...boss.....who... whoever my boss is...?"

"I really just wanted those free kisses, honest!"

"I mean, I personally think that robocop is kind of sus."

"I'm with stinky."

"First off. Not a cop."

"Sounds like something a cop would say."

"Second off. How interesting that instead of telling us how you got here, GlizzyGuzzler21, you jump to accusations." Cowboy knew that everyone else in the room was under the effects of the investigator. It was useless to try and talk any sense into them.

The Investigator gasps, but waits to see what the sealed had to say for themselves.

"Man, I was just following Bookhuffer..." He'd grumble a bit "Always getting me into these puzzle quests..."

"And how did Bookhuffer69 get into this?"

They make a sound that sounds something like a gasp, "Do NOT try that again later or I am so kicking you from this week's LAN party." They look to the rest of the room. "I wasn't born rich, by no means was my family anything more than a couple of street beggars and telemarketers. Yes, I was raised to value every penny. My work is a tough one, and so on this vacation I was a chance to make free net worth enhancement. You see, that sign was not simply free kisses, no! A free dowry to whoever took it, as in this economy it is surly impossible to make a marriage happen without one, and who kisses someone without marriage? I got here not from greed or a need for love, but to simply send some money to my ailing mother who raised me right..."

"?????????????????????????????"

"Uh??? What do you mean it's up to me!?!?!"

"Uh."

"Uuuuuh......"

The Investigator dramatically throws her magnifying glass in the air in surprise.

"I won't explain the exact details of my private life to a bunch of strangers, BUT DO NOT SPEAK ILL OF MY MOTHER!!"

" I could believe it was GlizzyGuzzler21, but not you Bookhuffer69!!"

They cry into their hands. "Nothing ever changes! All the same judgments!"

The detective lowers his hat as he dramatically points at the accused. "Nice try. But your mother doesn't exist! Nor your "Extended family!""

"And if you made up your whole life......."

"THEN YOU MUST HAVE MADE UP HOW YOU GOT HERE!"

"You noticed something strange.....?"

"PussiDestroyer, nor Skeleton King have mentioned anything about a dowry. Considering how good this "dowry" apparently was, you think....."

"BY THE GODS! YOU DIDN'T MENTION ANY DOWRY!"

"I would have, I love free loot with my kisses!"

"What do you have to say for yourself, BookHuffer?!"

"This is not a fair jury, everyone here hates me."

"Hey you know I don't hate you, we're on the same team, we're supposed to be here to prevail and protect ! I just... don't know what we're protecting here."

"I'm neutral at best."

"LAN. PARTY."

"There's only one last witness to speak to....Skeleton King!!!!" Investigator points to the uutzi. "Admit it. BookHuffer is your BOSS!!!!"

"I....I......." Skeleton King holds his head, the marsue effects still ripping through him. "I admit it!"

"I'm sorry boss....but....I can't deny it any longer. We've failed..."

"WHAT ?! So it was a lie... I was never going to join the LAN Party to begin with..."

"Oh! The anguish! So much planning for a flop like this! I'm docking your pay!"

"You set me up! I bet there wasn't any free kisses at all!"

"I would have kissed you if you were a pretty woman."

"But you're quite...."

"Ugly."

"At least I'm better than the smelly one and the imposter!"

"Low blow, like real low."

There's a clattering of keys as someone unlocks the door to the basement. Skeleton King looks back in horror.

"Why is there so much yelling down here?" Edger Drakken eyes the group in the cell.

"This is what I get for renting a room with a dungeon in the basement...."

"Out! All of you! Out! It's 2pm! Some of us are trying to sleep! It's midday!"

Glizzy kinda cowered from the yelling of the new arrival and turned to the Investigator to ask. "What is the objective of this quest...?"

"Are we going to add that one to the mix, orr...?"

"The objective of this case is to solve it, and we did it!"

"Are you guys seeking a reward....cause if so......."

"Yay we win! We're gonna get so much exp for this."

"METAL ENDURES!"

"I don't ha....hav....." Edger Drakken too, was affected by the Investigator.

"Of course. Thank you for solving this case."

"I know it isn't much, but please, have this. It's the least I could provide."

"No need to pay me! I do this for the love of solving crimes!"

"Whoa, a whole legendary drop!"

"I'm glad we could be of service Investigator !"

"Thank you for the quest! Even if there's no free kisses..."

"Oh ! My web of lies has comes collapsing down onto me... But I am glad to have given you a case to solve, Investigator." They can't help themself, "THROUGH THE FLAME, KNOWLEDGE WAS GAINED."

Cowboy looks back at the place.

"Uh, so we're just leaving them there? Even the criminal?"

The Skeleton King rubs his head, trying to make sense of what happened. "Did......Did we get duped?"

"Look....I don't care what happened down here! I don't know what happened, or what that....that...THING was! It...looked like an aftik but...."

"Your rented dungeon, Castellan Edger."

"Same thing!"