STORY

STORY

SALESFIGURES
[Walk-Stab-Walk]

Due to some circumstances a few people find themselves metaphorically dragged along by a masked man riding a thornhead- "Get in Losers we're going shopping" he said- And by the gods shopping they are going to do!

"Usual crew's bone tired so you lot will do- Been itching to see what's in the shops."
"… Also wanted to surprise one of em but I'll leave it at that."
"Let's fucking do this, bitches!" Horseface woops.
"Didn't ask b-"
"I mean. Sounds like fun, bitch! 'w'"
"I hope they have meringue pastries. >>"
"It's best we be consistent, let us be mindful of all factors"
Helsing
2024-12-26 17:53:36
Helsing Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 10:54:05
"Yeah bitches! Consistency- uh and fuckin shopping let's get this bread!!!"
Zefir
2024-12-26 17:54:18
Zefir Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 10:54:43
"Currently I am mostly concerned being consistent with my wallet, but anything is fine if we're having fun.~" There is a moment of silence. "Bitch. >>"
"Mindfulness is for little bitches, bitch."
"What, little pussy cat isn't ready to pounce on life? To fucking rip the nearest motherfucker to shreds at a moments notice? Tch."
"Yea, gotta make it hurt. 'w'"
"Well. A little splurging surely wouldn't hurt anyone."
"...If you can handle it."
"We LOVE a little splurging "
"Okay enough- Also I see some of you got those capsule things can I try opening one I got the need to rip something open and we aren't even at a shop yet."

Horseface underhand tosses his capsule to the masked dude.

"Knock yourself out, see what happens. >:3"
Byrel
2024-12-26 17:58:53
Byrel Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-26 18:15:24
"Ah, I was wondering what to do with this. Go right ahead, I trust you'll be careful with it." She opens her mouth and very gently takes the capsule out with two fingers, "Just be sure to return the results."
Zefir
2024-12-26 17:57:13
Zefir Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 10:55:45
"Oh, right."
2024-12-26 17:58:14
Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-26 18:15:23

Zefir shuffles around his pockets for a capsule, and promptly pulls it out after some ringing and sounds of things hitting other things. He tries to open it up...

Zefir rolls a 20 sided die. An 11 is rolled.
2024-12-26 18:07:37
Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-26 18:13:36

Zefir's capsule opens!

Helsing
2024-12-26 18:00:39
Helsing Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-27 20:58:13
Hel tried to open the other two capsules...
2024-12-26 18:06:33
Helsing Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-26 18:14:22
Helsing rolls a 20 sided die. A 1 is rolled.
2024-12-26 18:02:07
Helsing Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-26 18:14:40
Helsing rolls a 20 sided die. A 3 is rolled.
2024-12-26 18:11:51
Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-26 18:12:37

Hel fails to open the other two capsules. With Horseface-12's flying out of his hand, and falling into a storm drain.

2024-12-26 18:09:43
Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-26 18:11:55

..............They're not getting that back anytime soon......

"….."
"Motherfucker! What the fuck! You lost my goddamn capsule!"
"Were you even fucking trying. 'w'"
Zefir
2024-12-26 18:16:54
Zefir Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 10:56:44
Zefir's mouth waters slightly at the sight of his cekeki... but he closes his arms to not see it. Resist.
"...There's..."
"There's animals in these ones too?"
"It's not my fault that shit was made of fucking steel and slippery! You-"
Helsing
2024-12-26 18:17:26
Helsing Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-26 18:19:37
"- I mean I'll try to get it back later, sorry."
"You fucking better. You owe me big time for this. I'll let it slide right now, but only because we're wasting sunlight. Let's get in that fucking store, kittens. >:3"
Chip
2024-12-26 18:19:13
Chip Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 10:59:18
("Bitch?")
Zefir
2024-12-26 18:18:16
Zefir Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 10:57:57
"Can't we just buy another one anyway? I'm sure any good store has a seafood isle. >>"
Byrel
2024-12-26 18:18:49
Byrel Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 10:58:44
She opens her hand, "If you don't mind, I would like mine back. Knowing there's something alive in these I feel most comfortable carrying it myself."
"And...let's hope that sewer one enjoys the travels."
Helsing
2024-12-26 18:20:14
Helsing Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 10:59:41
"…Fair enough I already sent one flying and I don't think I could look El in the eye after sending some tiny animal to maybe it's doom."

He hands her back the capsule.

Zefir
2024-12-26 18:20:53
Zefir Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 10:59:57
"We just returned it to its natural habitat. >>"
Horseface-12
2024-12-26 18:21:07
Horseface-12 Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 10:59:28
("Bitch?")
Chip
2024-12-26 18:21:19
Chip Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:00:10
("Fuck you.")
"Okay ENOUGH knuckleheads! Shopping now!"

He drags whomever is in grabbing radius to the store.

"You can maul each other in there or something I don't care."
[Limbus Company - S.E.A. Theme]

As the rowdy group enters the store, they're confronted with a rather strange scene.

"I CAN'T DO THIS AAAAANYMORE!!!!!"
"YOUR RECENT CLIENTS ARE TOTAL FREAKS."
"I.....I don't even know what I would do with an animal like the one you're offering anyway........"
"I QUIT!!!! G-GET YOURSELF A NEW CASHIER."
"Mmmmhmmm swear I can't get any good workers for my highest paying clients....."
Pluto spots the crew. "Sorry boys, girls, and abnormalities, but the store is closed until I can get some new cashiers."
Pluto
2024-12-26 18:26:16
Pluto Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:03:06
"Unless, you willin' to be a scab for me and give me a wee bit of help just for today! It's hard work but it's honest pay!"
"Do I fucking look like a scab? >:3"
"Because I am. >:3"
Zefir
2024-12-26 18:27:21
Zefir Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:03:29
"We did just come here for shopping ourselves... but if you have any meringue." This man is REALLY hungry.
Byrel
2024-12-26 18:27:35
Byrel Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:03:45
Her entire demeanor changes. "Ah of course, I would be happy to do any work you need of me f-" She catches herself.
"...I. I uh..."
Byrel
2024-12-26 18:30:37
Byrel Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-26 18:33:07
"I will only work for a good pay. It will not be for free. Ignore that."
("Yeah rock girl- Get your pay don't do shit for free-")
("Woo woo yeah!! >>")
Byrel
2024-12-26 18:33:23
Byrel Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-29 14:23:38
"Of course of course...my apologies those...urges come over me occasionally." She grunts.
"I say we ditch the clown here."
"Fuck you? You wanna go, bitch?"
"I'd break your spine in half like a dry toothpick. 'w'"
2024-12-26 18:28:32
Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:04:40

Hel closes his eyes for a moment to sigh… It's one of these days ain't it?

"Well not like I'm not used to it anyways, I'll scab if it means I get something-"
"Are we all in agreement to do paid work for today? If these two can get along, of course."
"If they kill eachother can we have their share?"
Zefir
2024-12-26 18:35:37
Zefir Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:04:50
"I'm gonna spend everything I get today on pastries. >>"
("Holy shit dude you are so hungry like do you fucking eat?")
Zefir
2024-12-26 18:37:45
Zefir Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:05:30
"I may have... um. Not eaten today, actually. I don't wanna eat the little guy I just got though, although I'm sure the taste would be... Delectable." He ignores the other two's banter and chatters away happily.

Horseface checks a bit of paper in his pocket and groans. He steps close to Chip, lowering his voice.

"Fuck this. You- You are secretly O-6. And what am I?" Horseface gestures aggressively between the two of them.

Chip scowls back at the notail, voice lowered.

"The fuck is this, a fucking clonefest? How many O-6's are there? 'w'"
"Hey Mallon-head? That kinda sounds O-6-like to me I mean I think if he was hiding among us he'd try to lay low and literally not spout his own signoff everwhere-"
Zefir
2024-12-26 19:36:44
Zefir Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:06:20
"Like the other guy did? Yeah, he wouldn't. >>"
"Reverse psychology, bitch! 'w'"
Oh.
Oh.
"I feel if that...weirdo was among us, it would have been easier to suss out. What would a man like that want with shopping?"
"O-6 is a man of great taste. He wouldn't just be going to the supermarket on a whim, he would have someone else do it for him, no? >>"
"I dunno he has alotta money I'd go shopping if I had that much money-"
"So much cake..."
"I'm sure if someone has that much money, I doubt they'd be putting it to good use. Shopping would be a bore when you're on a throne built by better people."

Horseface checks his paper again.

Horseface-12
2024-12-26 19:39:42
Horseface-12 Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:07:10
("Bitch...")
"Ugh- Dealing with that can of worms later-"
"We got work to do folks."
"Let's get to it, a good service usually warrants tips. Just keep to it."
"Yeah sure let's get on with it."
Zefir
2024-12-26 19:40:26
Zefir Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:09:39
"Anyways, what's the job description, boss man? >>" He turns to Pluto. "I feel like you have many customers on standby who don't want to see this... circus."
("Maybe I should just ask my son to come back. Think I'd prefer playin' him double than hirin' these folks.")
("Wait, what am I sayin' I can pay these fellas in bread crumbs and they'll take the job.")
"Listen up folks, I'm goin' to pretend I didn't hear a lick of what you just done just said for the last 10 minutes."
"If you help me with this here issue, I offer you, one of these!"
2024-12-26 19:47:12
Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-26 19:47:49

"Bweeh."

("Son of a gun ruined one of my priceless paintin's.....")
"But, if you're willing to deal with my tricky clients I'll give you this!"
2024-12-26 20:07:48
Profile
Posted by ID #2
Last edit: 2025-03-07 21:19:44
Pluto
2024-12-26 20:08:17
Pluto Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:10:21
"I won't tell you what's in it, but I will tell you it'll surprise you! Hohohohoo!!!"
"You there, you look like the leader of this here gang. What do you say? Do you want to give workin' here for the day a try, or do you want to try out dealin' with my hard clients?"
Helsing
2024-12-26 20:12:43
Helsing Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:10:42
"Mhm- Sure. I don't think they'd be worse than those two–"
He– He is not acknowledging the fact he is lying to himself.
Helsing
2024-12-26 20:13:22
Helsing Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:10:53
("And that flower thing looks about perfect for El…")
Zefir
2024-12-26 20:13:40
Zefir Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:11:08
"I think we got this, honestly. Ain't no flimsy ole customer gonna crush our spirit. >>"
"Yeah that's right pretty boy! I'm sure we're tough as fuck!"
"Whatever spider man wants is fine with me. 'w'"
"I'm down. We can handle whatever. ;P"
"Sounds good to me. Now, do note that all my cashiers got scared of my hard clients, so I'll go ahead and list out their names so you can try to make them products they'll really like."
"I assume this would be no ordinary work with rewards such as these. What exactly will this constitute?"
Pluto
2024-12-26 20:15:58
Pluto Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:12:11
"Only got 5 hard clients, but you have to please at least 4 of them to get the bonus."
"I don't want you wasting their time so you can only show them 2 items before you give up the game and let them loose."
"Feel free to use the combo machine in the back. Remember, don't put more than 2 items in at a time or it'll blow."
"And if that god lovin' machine blows, son?"
"You're goin' to need to pay me in your damn soul, son, and I ain't gonna sell it back to you."
"Hahahahaha!! Just kiddin'."
"I will sell it back to you at a mighty upcharge."
"Now get to work! Check out the client list before makin' stuff. Cause you need to make items the client is goin' to like."
2024-12-27 18:02:15
Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-27 18:10:05
Client list (In order that they will arrive)

  1. Helen
  2. Zookeeper
  3. O-11
  4. Azathoth
  5. O-6

2024-12-27 18:03:35
Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-27 20:50:21
Notes about Clients

  1. You don't know this but she's more special than most folks. She can have just about anything. Really have to think outside the box here. If you know what I mean. Hohohoo!
  2. He asked specifically to not be shown art. I think he'll be an easy one if you think about the delivery.
  3. Forgot which one we're dealing with. Good luck.
  4. The guy has had a lot of life changes recently. Also he's in his mothers's (Yes that's a singular) body or something. Frankly you're on your own here.
  5. The tiger is a simple man who wants simple things. This should be a simple one to round things off. Well, that or you'll all end up dead. But hey if you do that just means I don't gotta pay you!

Fortuna rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +10. A 13 is rolled.
Fortuna rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +15. A 21 is rolled.
Fortuna rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +3. A 16 is rolled.
Fortuna rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +3. A 21 is rolled.
Fortuna rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +10. A 24 is rolled.
Fortuna rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +3. A 13 is rolled.
Fortuna rolls a 20 sided die. A 14 is rolled.
Fortuna rolls a 20 sided die. A 4 is rolled.
Fortuna rolls a 20 sided die. A 6 is rolled.
Fortuna rolls a 20 sided die. A 1 is rolled.
Many item combinations later...
2024-12-27 18:18:26
Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-27 20:50:00
Item List

  1. Sacrificial Whaling Knife (Good Quality)
  2. Massive: A collection of stories about Huge Dragons (Great Quality)
  3. Mushroom Capsule Pet (Good Quality)
  4. Mirrorer Space cape (Great Quality)
  5. 1 common abomination ticket (Great Quality)
  6. O-6 Lab coat (Good quality)
  7. Forget-me-please potion (Good quality)
  8. Wilting flowers (Poor quality)
  9. Glasses made of cards (Poor quality)
  10. Rampaging Agnilith (Horrible quality) (AGRESSIVE)

[Pokémon Scarlet & Violet - Team Star Boss Battle Music]

As the final item, an anomalous artifact and a strange skull are put into the machine, the machine summons a great and terrible beast!

2024-12-27 18:22:25
Profile
Posted by ID #2
Last edit: 2025-03-07 21:20:23

"GWAAAAARRR!!!!"

"Hey Pluto! I'm here for that special item!"

Helen watches as the agnilith starts to rampage though the store!

"Oh uh...did I come at a bad time?"
"Mhm- No? This thing is here for–"

Horseface picks up the sacrificial whaling knife.

"A product showcase!"
"Consider me the rodeo clown for now. You guys deal with the customers. ;P"
Zefir
2024-12-27 18:29:30
Zefir Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:14:34
"Yep! Totally under control. >>"

Zefir joins Horseface in wrangling the beast, not wanting the first customer to get bad impressions.

"You see like why would we sell a cool-ass whaling knife without showing how cool it is-"
"A show not tell sorta deal!"
Horseface-12 rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +5. A 24 is rolled.
2024-12-27 18:32:16
Zefir Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-27 18:36:11
Zefir rolls a 20 sided die. A 19 is rolled.

Horseface stabs the whaling knife into the agnilith. When it screeches and throws Horseface off, the Zefir is right there to grab the fallen knife and stab it again! Such a perfect knife was designed to kill such beasts!

2024-12-27 18:33:49
Profile
Posted by ID #2
Last edit: 2025-03-07 21:20:35

The agnilith hits the ground, before glowing brightly. IT'S GOING TO EXPLODE.

"...Excuse me customer, but we should evacuate the premises."
"But this battle is so cool!"
The cortz runs over to her and attempts to pick her up "And we can watch from a distance"
"Do you think I can get a knife like that?"
Helsing
2024-12-27 18:38:34
Helsing Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:15:27
"I GOT IT I GOT IT."
2024-12-27 18:38:46
Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:15:47

Hel runs to throw the VERY HUGE corpse outside.

Helsing rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of -10. A -4 is rolled.

Helsing strains his back slightly!

("Wow shit- More credence to getting called a meathead I guess- ow-")
2024-12-27 18:40:51
Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:16:00

A CHAOS ROLL HAS BEEN ACTIVATED ON THE EXPLOSION.

Fortuna rolls a 20 sided die. A 2 is rolled.
It explodes into 1,000,000 lady bugs. The store is now coated in lady bugs.
"m–"
"THIS ROCKS!!!!"
"F-fuck yeah! That did rock! Anyways that was the knife at work!-"

Horseface, covered in ladybugs, walks up to the counter and places the knife down.

"You want a bag for that? ;P"
"The power of exploding fish can be yours if you buy this knife! 'w'"
"Man I'm so glad Pluto didn't try to sell me trash this time!"
"Last time he.....sold me........"
"What I thought was a wheel of butter......"
"But it actually was cheese."
Zefir
2024-12-27 18:47:38
Zefir Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:16:34
"Oh the horror. >>" Zefir clasps his hands around his book so hard you think his anomaly knuckles are turning white.
HGH– Gods she looks so sad about cheese- He doesn't get it but wow he feels bad-
"Anyway I'll buy the knife. Bag it up for me!"
"Mhm! Got it miss! Enjoy stabbing shit!"
2024-12-27 18:48:39
Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:16:54

He takes the knife and bags it for her, lightly sliding the bag across the counter to her.

Helen takes the knife and leaves. That's a successful sale!
2024-12-27 18:49:59
Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:17:44
[Undertale OST - Shop Extended]

Ladybugs still coat the store while the next guest enters...

"Wow! This place is a totally unprofessional dump!"
"I hope I'm getting discounts for this!"
"Welcome, our manager has been attempting a new type of storefront, please don't mind the insects"
"It's for a obscure holiday excuse you-"
Helsing
2024-12-27 18:51:47
Helsing Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:18:40
"Never heard of the banquet of the ladybirds- but well I didn't decorate the store-"
Zefir
2024-12-27 18:54:21
Zefir Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-27 20:56:28
The cekeki, now on the floor from the ruckus, lazily nibbles one of the ladybugs closest to it.
"Enough excuses! Pluto said he had a "Mighty fine product" to sell me!"
"Lets see it!"
Byrel
2024-12-27 18:55:41
Byrel Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:19:08
"That's correct, we have quite a selection today. In fact, something recently just shipped in..." She rummages around for the capsule.
Byrel
2024-12-27 18:56:04
Byrel Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-27 18:56:10
"These things have been flying off the shelves and come at quite a reasonable price, this is our last one, behold." She strikes a pose, capsule in hand.
They also strike a pose.
"A rare collectible toy! Seems on-brand, no?"
"Yeah! This guy is like a one of a kind!- I sure haven't seen specifically it anywhere else!"
"........................................................"
"One time. I put a crab in a capsule and sold it to a bunch of suckers."
"I am not a sucker."
"It's half off?"
"Anything you sell me better be half off at the state of this place, honey."
"But see, I can put a mushroom in a capsule for free!"
"Could do it right now if I wanted to if I had a mushroom."
"Oh well we do have other stuff here… Like this abomination ticket here-"
"Something no one truly has seen... so many suckers would pay for just a chance at something like this. >>"
"I think it lets you disregard the usual laws around creature bleeding. I dunno, I'm not a lawyer."
"And at only half price. >>"
Helsing
2024-12-27 19:02:28
Helsing Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:20:02
("Also shit get the bugs outta here boy-") He whispers to his thornhead and hopes it's listening.
Helsing rolls a 3 sided die. A 1 is rolled.

Dante frolicks in the lady bugs. He's rolling around in joy! He doesn't seem to be listening to his owner at all.

… He absolutely can't be mad at this dumb dumb horse he loves him too much.
"........................................................................................."
"I feel like you people are missing a critical part of my character."
"You each have one sentence to sell me this item. Make it count."
"You can use this ticket to get fancy works of living art? I don't know I heard flesh sculptures are popular these days. Shrug."
He mumbles a bit before continuing, "It could be incredibly marketable and the basis of a new product that can rack in more suckers."
Byrel
2024-12-27 19:11:06
Byrel Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:20:40
"A beast beyond its own understanding often brings wonders in discovering a new world together."
"Since this is a one of a kind item, you could get people to make as much art as you want for it! 'w'"
"Plus... it's so much more profitable in the long run. Compared to what you'll make, it'll be just as much as free! >>"
"Bye."

Zookeeper turns around without another comment and leaves.
The crew has a short time before the next buyer comes....

"That guy freaks me out."
2024-12-27 19:13:40
Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-27 19:14:35

Horseface looks for the nearest window to open to try and get some of these ladybirds out of here.

"Honestly, I feel better about that guy leaving. >>"

Zefir wipes the sweat of his brow and tries to get a broom of sorts and get the ladybugs out.

"Well I never was a fucking salesman so I have that excuse."

Chip starts to collect and remove as many ladybugs as they can carry.

Byrel
2024-12-27 19:17:46
Byrel Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-29 14:29:12
"I suppose being vague will get us only so far. I suppose this capsule and ticket will come in handy for another, at least. Should we do something about the ladybugs? Or keep selling them as part of the attraction?"
"I kind of want to cram some in my mouth but that's probably a terrible idea- We should just clean this place… I'm sure nobody let alone the big man wants an infested store," he says as he tosses an armful of bugs out.

With the combined efforts of the crew, the lady bugs, at least the largest piles of them, are cleaned up. The next guest enters.

"So. You're here to sell one of us an item? I got a little problem for you......."
Wererabbit
2024-12-27 19:21:12
Wererabbit Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:21:56
"M-More like... W-We got a little problem....."
"We forgot-We forgot which one of us mmmmmgh...was supposed to pick up the item...... OwO"
2024-12-27 19:24:09
Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-27 19:24:44

Horseface picks up the Massive Dragon book, setting it on the counter.

"Well I mean, as long as one of you walks away with it, it's probably fine. You guys like dragons?"

The three O-11's look at each other.

Wererabbit
2024-12-27 19:25:48
Wererabbit Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-27 19:34:29
"Uuuuuuh noooooo? No. I do not-Not like dragons."
"You'd have to be super unwell in the mind to uh...like dragons. OwO"
"W-we're not freaks! OwO"
"Imagine if- an-any of us liked dragons! OwO"
O-Hare
2024-12-27 19:27:20
O-Hare Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-27 19:30:02
"Foul."
Wererabbit
2024-12-27 19:27:57
Wererabbit Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-27 19:34:22
"V-Vampires are be-better anyway."
"Good. Then you're in the market for this. It's got all the best stories about why dragons are awful. 'w'"
2024-12-27 19:35:52
Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:22:43

Zefir offloads the huge book on the table.

Zefir
2024-12-27 19:36:09
Zefir Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:23:38
"With this, you'll never have to deal with dragons, ever! You'll know everything about them - their weak spots, how to notice them before it's too late, how to quell them- anything to make sure these horrid beasts stay out of your sight forever and ever. >>"
Hel nods along.

Horseface flips through the book for a moment.

"It talks mostly about the big ones, though. The really big ones. Huge."

Horseface whistles appreciatingly at something something in the book.

"Not to be rud-rude friend, but w-why are the uh, dragons posing like that?"
"This is clearly a sc-scandalous book! OwO"
"H-Honestly I'm uh, more offended you tried to foo-fool me...."
Horseface-12
2024-12-27 19:39:11
Horseface-12 Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:23:08
"Showing off the weak spots? Y'know, soft underbelly, best place for, I dunno, sneak attacks. ;P"
O-Hare
2024-12-27 19:39:25
O-Hare Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-27 19:40:29
"Why is it...pregnant.... OwO"
"It's nature. It's beautiful."

Horseface continues flipping through the book. He seems distracted.

"You can buy it to get it off the market. Burn it, lest it happens in the hands of someone... undesirable. >>"
"I JUST TOLD YOU I-I'M NOT AN IDIOT."
"I-I am done with be-being mocked! OwO"
"Do you have something else to sell us? Or will you continue to pretend we don't recognize dragon-based pregnancy erotica? OwO"
"PLEASE DON'T SAY IT SO BLUN-BLUNTLY. OwO"
Wererabbit
2024-12-27 19:42:16
Wererabbit Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-27 19:42:25
"Ha-Have some respect!"
"I refuse to hide behind the pretense of harmful social rules that only cause distress in the long run. OwO"
"We judge no customers nor their purchases, we have other wares if you'd rather have, but there's nothing wrong with enjoying a more....niche subgenre of art"
"It's dragon-based pregnancy erotica. If you guys don't want it, that's cool. I'm going to be over here being a freak. You guys do whatever."

Horseface waves off to the other cashiers, distracted by the book.

Chip
2024-12-27 19:43:55
Chip Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:24:40
("What the fuck. Ok.")
"Hey! Let me have a look!" Zefir looks over Horseface's shoulder.
Horseface-12
2024-12-27 19:44:37
Horseface-12 Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-27 19:44:50
"The plot of this one is getting good." Horseface leans to the side so Zefir can get a look.
He is looking away he is looking away.
"Well of course we have uh- Stuff other than uh whatever he's reading.. Sorry about that."
"Is there a specific ware you were looking for? Perhaps a gift for a friend? Something to alleviate every day pain?"
"I'd like to not be here honestly. OwO"
"….Maybe–"
2024-12-27 19:46:56
Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:25:13

Hel plucks the space cape off its hanger.

"This cool-ass cape?"
"I don't know if you uh...realized this....."
"But I'm uh, not wearing anything except pants. OwO"
O-Hare
2024-12-27 19:48:29
O-Hare Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:27:54
"A cape would get in the way as I wrap around my own neck.*"
O-Hare
2024-12-27 19:49:03
O-Hare Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:28:11
"*I in this case meaning the blort, which I refer to myself as as a coping mechanism to disassociate from nonsense."
Byrel
2024-12-27 19:49:16
Byrel Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:28:25
"Perhaps as a skirt? Accessorizing can bring one's better features to light."
"Looks vampire-ish, imo. Would look cool in dim lighting, swooshing around."
"I uh...don't eugh, go outside and I really don't want people to pay attention to me..."
"Hmmmmmmm....but....uh....."
Fortuna rolls a 20 sided die. A 1 is rolled.
Wererabbit
2024-12-27 19:51:29
Wererabbit Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-27 19:51:54
"S-Sadly it's uh...to mmmmmmm big for the vampire I'd give it to."
("He might also think it's tacky.....")

Helsing swishes around in it- Actually he might be enjoying wearing it more than he realizes.

Helsing
2024-12-27 19:53:19
Helsing Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:29:16
"Oh… mhm-"
Helsing
2024-12-27 19:53:26
Helsing Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:29:07
("If I buy this myself does it count???")
("Actually is it like, cultural apportion to think vampires like capes?")
"Vampwelfs would literally wear your c-culture as a pelt. OwO"
"Agreed. OwO"
"If that is all, we will be taking our leave. OwO"
"Maybe we can go to the boba place next door."
O-11
2024-12-27 19:57:24
O-11 Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-27 19:58:34
"D-Do you WANT me to eugh, choke and die?!?! OwO"

The O-11's leave.
The crew has a short moment to prepare for the next guest.

"We kinda beefed that last one by second-guessing ourselves there. Getting the reward isn't going to happen at this point. Probably."
"Honestly Helsing you look pretty neat in that. I'm kinda happy they didn't buy it... >>"
"These customers seem to be a bit pickier than we assumed...Pluto was not kidding. Should we coordinate for the next?"
"As long as we don't set the place on fire or anything. 'w'"
2024-12-27 20:01:25
Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-27 20:01:45

Hel hesitantly takes the cape off, looking at it before replying.

Helsing
2024-12-27 20:01:55
Helsing Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-27 20:02:03
"To be honest we probably should- I don't know how to sell things for shit I'm more of a bash people's faces in guy than a salesman."
"I mean if the job was set stuff on fire maybe I would have done well-"
Zefir
2024-12-27 20:04:10
Zefir Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:30:07
"Yeah... I'm a mechanic, not a cashier really. Maybe this is why everyone in my family hates me. >>"
"Let's...save fires for a last resort. People enjoy wonder and affirmations, perhaps we should listen to the customer's ideas before presenting?"
"Mhm… Probably a better idea to ask what they're looking for than immediately shill shit-"
Zefir
2024-12-27 20:05:16
Zefir Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:30:28
"That does sound pretty nice though, I don't know why we always have to double guess."
"If you wanna bash faces in, I say we bash O-6's in. It'll be fun. You want to uh, open that capsule or not? We've got a second."
"Hey maybe we don't beat him up?? Just an idea. 'w'"
"If you do that that's your beef. I'd like to see someone again after this anyways."

The crew don't do anything while waiting for the next guest.

Azathoth
2024-12-27 20:07:11
Azathoth Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:32:14
The next guest is a huge mass of solidified blood in a holy shape. It mumbles upsettingly as it takes a look around.
The god tried to talk.....
But realizing that he would just harm everyone in doing so, he doesn't.
After a brief moment of adjustment, Byrel puts on her best customer service voice. "H-Hey welcome! How can we help you today!"
Helsing
2024-12-27 20:08:20
Helsing Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:32:36
"Hi welcome- You can just point at what you want if you don't feel like talkin'." He manages his gentlest most polite voice.
Byrel
2024-12-27 20:08:33
Byrel Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:33:11
She whispers to the others, ("This one looks quite sad, take it slow and just see what catches their eyes.")
"Oh, hey, Azathoth, what's up? Did you lose weight? ;P"
Azathoth
2024-12-27 20:09:32
Azathoth Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:33:40
Azathoth ignores the comment and just shows a todo list. It's clearly not written by him, as sentences like "Kiss my wife" are scribbled out in horror. The current task on the list is "Pick up item of chaos from Pluto."
Helsing
2024-12-27 20:09:44
Helsing Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:33:53
"Mhm I see… Let's see if we have something like that."
"We'll look in back, just a moment thank you"
With a firm hand, she grips Horseface and tries to drag them away with her.
Horseface makes a sound akin to a rubber chicken and is dragged off without complaint.
Chip sighs in relief.
Byrel
2024-12-27 20:11:13
Byrel Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:34:12
("OK...two things. First let us not make comments about the customer. Please be careful.")
Horseface-12
2024-12-27 20:12:00
Horseface-12 Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:34:23
("But I know that guy! We go way back.")
"Mhm- So We have this- I think making an abomination would be considered chaotic. What do you think?"

Hel puts the ticket down on the counter for Azathoth to see.

"Yeah, it can be anything you'd want it to be. 'w'"
Azathoth places down an ITEM OF EXTREME CHAOS (it looks like a glowing cube) and takes the ticket. He doesn't bother saying thank you, knowing that his voice would instantly kill all of them. He's starting to realize how lonely someone who can't talk would become.

The crew have some time before the last guest....

"Oh yeah, the next one is O-6. If you'll excuse me..."

Horseface hides underneath the counter.

Byrel
2024-12-27 20:13:55
Byrel Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:34:57
"We might have time to clean up the shop a little bit as well, sprucing may do some good too."
Helsing
2024-12-27 20:14:42
Helsing Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-27 20:16:39
"Yeah- I guess. Boss man said something nice and simple for the next man."
He shortly sneers at Horseface– Wow- Suggesting he cave a dude's face in and wouldn't do it himself?
But resumes cleaning up the place. Being too tired to care about that now.
Chip
2024-12-27 20:14:24
Chip Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-27 20:16:51
Chip silently slips out of the room before the guest arrives.
Zefir just cleans off the last remaining bugs. He is so tired.
Byrel joins in on cleaning, adjusting the shelves and shifting signs to look a bit more professional.
2024-12-27 20:17:54
Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-27 20:18:09

The crew waits.......but O-6 never arrives.....
And the leader of the crew is sure he knows why.


It's because O-6 is already here.

"…"

He looks at the bunch of people he had dragged with him. The thought had been with him this whole time and yet he pushed it down in favor of sales… A thing he may have to do again in the future.

A sneer climbs onto his face as he scrutinized them - His suspicions about some of their behavior earlier.

"So… Anyone got anything to say before we see him?"
Zefir
2024-12-27 20:19:38
Zefir Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:36:08
"I'm just tired... and wanted some meringue. >>"
Horseface-12
2024-12-27 20:20:00
Horseface-12 Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:36:24
Horseface just shrugs.
"Why has he not come yet???? 'w'"
Byrel
2024-12-27 20:20:54
Byrel Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:36:41
"Today went better than I expected, if I am being honest. Maybe he might not even show."
"Honestly? Yeah. We're already getting enough of a telling to from Mr. Pluto, I assume... >>"
Chip
2024-12-27 20:21:20
Chip Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:37:35
("Well at least the shop didn't explode. 'w'")

Hel breathes out and puts his helmet back on. Bracing himself for what comes next and lifting a finger at Chip.

Helsing
2024-12-27 20:22:10
Helsing Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:37:54
"The tiger's wearing the rat's face. He's been with us this whole time."
"E-excuse me??? 'w'"
"Ha. Very funny. 'w'"
Zefir
2024-12-27 20:22:52
Zefir Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:38:10
"Just like that? I would never think O-6 would take refuge under the form of what he considers a "filthy animal". Quite the mastermind move. >>"
"And...is there a specific reason he would be spying on a group like us?"
"There's been some subtle things I noticed here and there- And the horse guy seems like he's just being a little shit to trip me up while you've been mostly normal… As if you have something to hide."
2024-12-27 20:23:47
Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-27 20:25:10

A piano falls and narrowly misses the accuser.

"Woops, sorry that was supposed to kill you!"
"Ok, we're hoisting the piano back up, can you step on the X on the floor?"
"Honestly I don't quuuuuuuiet care who gets punished, but someone has to die for the false accusation."
Helsing
2024-12-27 20:25:29
Helsing Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:38:54
"FUCK- SHIT BLESS IT- SO IT WASN'T HIM?"
2024-12-27 20:25:39
Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-27 20:25:50

Hel grabs something to bash Horseface's head in- That bastard! That bastard! He got psyched!
Horseface sighs, stands up, and walks over onto the big X.

"Chill, dude, I'll take this one. ;P"

The piano falls and kills Horseface.

"…."

He drops the object- Almost ashamed of himself.

"Well, that's that!"
"See you folks for the after game!~"
"........ 'w'"
Zefir
2024-12-27 20:27:58
Zefir Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-27 20:28:15
"So... no meringue? >>"
"So...that's that then...to think they were right under us..."
"…I dunno man. I guess." He hangs his head.

Pluto comes back.

"Well well well...."
"A free grand piano!"
Pluto
2024-12-27 20:29:40
Pluto Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:39:42
"How did the sales go, son?"
Zefir sniffles.
"… Not as well as we hoped for, I kinda get why the guy at the start left- I don't even think I deserve the capsule anyways."
Chip pats Helsing on the back. Gently. Not trying to startle the murder spider.
Zefir
2024-12-27 20:30:46
Zefir Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:40:02
"Kekiki..." The little cekeki boops its snout on Helsing's leg in a comforting gesture.
"My clients are some hard nuts to crack aren't they!"
Byrel
2024-12-27 20:32:02
Byrel Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-27 20:32:20
"Very, but the effort made here was worth it. We learned a lot through the process. Helsing pulled everyone together quite well."
"Three sales ain't too bad for some fresh meat!"
"Take your wee ole flower. You earned it, son!"
2024-12-27 20:33:02
Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-27 20:33:11

"Weeeeeh."

He quietly nods. "Thank you sir."
"Now...can you explain why there's about 10,000 lady bugs in this store?"
RESULTS!
"Ok. Well. I'm not letting you win this."
2024-12-27 20:35:39
Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:41:21
Goal: You need to be accused of secretly being O-6. You are not O-6.
Powers: You can summon a chaos roll once, at anything, or just in general.
Goal: You need to be accused of secretly being O-6. You are not O-6.
Powers: You can summon a chaos roll once, at anything, or just in general.
"Neither of you gave it a try at all!"
"So it's my official decree that you both failed!"
"What- I did try!!"
"Yeah, not my best performance. I got pretty disheartened and gave up."
"Decree's a decree, I guess. 'w'"
Horseface-12
2024-12-27 20:39:11
Horseface-12 Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:42:41
"Sorry for fucking you over, guy."
"No hard feelings. 'w'"
"You on the other hand... You really lucked out here."
Goal: You are secretly O-6. Don't let anyone find this out.
Powers: You have the power of O-6, but you're holding back. If you attack anything, you have a +6 to attack. If you want a +6 to all rolls, you have to show off your true form.
"The idea is that there would be two people so obviously trying to be you, that you'd have to be out of your mind to not pick the 3rd person!"
"I was trying to be fucking subtle, bitch? >:3"
"You kind of just won by luck here. I gueeeeeeeeess I'll give you the point but I'm not going to be happy about it!"
"As for the last guy....."
2024-12-27 20:43:27
Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-07-30 11:43:43
Goal: Someone is O-6. By the end of the game you need to figure out who and accuse them of being O-6. If you guess wrong, you die. If you guess right, O-6 dies. If O-6 is killed by the end of the expo you win.
Powers: You can summon Canine-7 for a short time to you 3 times. He's extremely friendly and is willing to help you with most problems.
"I thought I could do this on my own."
"Guess I was so wrong about that- Certified meathead moment eh?"
"Fair enough!"
"I'm not going to give you a point, buuuut I will give you a runner up prize. Enjoy the chest of fish!"
"See you next time folks!"
END OF EXPO
No one is typing.