STORY

STORY

THE GOOD WORD
[Aram Khachaturian - Masquerade Suite - Waltz]
2024-12-18 21:12:59
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Posted by ID #74
Last edit: 2025-09-18 14:34:00

The Sleeper sits on his throne of gold. Thousands beg towards him at the edge, money in hand. They have scraped up what little they had left. All of them begging the god to have mercy on them, and to give them more of that Blissful High.

"Well, it looks like your goals have been completed!"
"I got the worshippers beggin' at my feet."
"All the god lovin' money this area has to give...."
"So why don't I feel better about it?"
Sleeper
2024-12-18 21:14:04
Sleeper Profile
Posted by ID #74
Last edit: 2025-09-18 14:34:31
"I got all this damn money! Why do I feel so fuckin' bored?"
"Uuh, well, you have all these worshippers, don't you like them?"
"Mmm." The Sleeper shrugs. "Dunno, feels like something is missin' here."
"Well, um... well, I 'unno, money's kind of awesome on its own."
"Oh! Yeah. What were you thinking about, like, spending it on?"
Sleeper
2024-12-18 21:15:30
Sleeper Profile
Posted by ID #74
Last edit: 2025-09-18 14:35:16
"Well, I bought this new car, and a jet, but....."
"I don't know, now that I got them, it ain't as excitin' anymore. Maybe this car was always shit."
"Money can buy you happiness, so you should be super happy!"
Collector
2024-12-18 21:16:07
Collector Profile
Posted by ID #74
Last edit: 2025-09-18 14:35:59
"Unless..... that phrase is wrong. I mean, I guess once you have a roof, and food, and entertainment, you can forget the money just a little bit."
"Or maybe you'd feel better getting rid of your shit car. It's kind of shitty. You could give it to us."
"Skipper, I should kill you on the spot fu'r sayin' that, but luckily for you, you ain't Collector, so you can have the damn car."
"I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG!!!!"
Pondskipper
2024-12-18 21:17:00
Pondskipper Profile
Posted by ID #74
Last edit: 2025-09-18 14:36:43
"Yippie, I'm not Collector!"
"All I'm trying to say is that, uh, maybe having a bunch of people who only love you because they're addicted to your drugs is-"
"........................."
"n-n-not lif-life fu-ful-"
"Skipper, can you say it so I don't die?"
"Oh, huh, that drugging people into worshipping you isn't fulfilling because it's not real love?"
"..."
"...Yeah, I guess it sounds kinda bad when you say it out loud."
"Then what the fuck else am I supposed to do!?"
Sleeper
2024-12-18 21:18:43
Sleeper Profile
Posted by ID #74
Last edit: 2025-09-18 14:39:55
"That tiny bitch, Helen, convinced me "Giving gifts to people" would make me happy, so I gave everything I had! Even the shirt off my back!"
"Please don't remind me."
"I just gave em' everythin'! And folks were happy at first, but then some of them started avoidin' me, and some people started askin' for so much shit!"
Sleeper
2024-12-18 21:19:23
Sleeper Profile
Posted by ID #74
Last edit: 2025-09-18 14:40:18
"So, if givin' shit doesn't make me happy, then ownin' lots of shit should!"
Collector
2024-12-18 21:19:36
Collector Profile
Posted by ID #74
Last edit: 2025-09-18 14:41:29
"I mean... you kind of just kept giving people stuff so they would like you......"
"Yeah. Why else would I?"
Collector
2024-12-18 21:19:45
Collector Profile
Posted by ID #74
Last edit: 2025-09-18 18:14:48
"They weren't, like.... your friends or anything."
"We like you, boss!"
"Skipper, are you tryin' to use me for free shit by sayin' that?"
"N-no! We, uh, we work for you! So we kinda have to like you."
"That's almost friendship? And I do like the car."
"So you two are gold diggers! You only work for me for money!"
"I believe that is called an employee."
"Oh. Right."
"Ohh, yeah! That's the word I was looking for."
Sleeper
2024-12-18 21:21:58
Sleeper Profile
Posted by ID #74
Last edit: 2025-09-18 14:43:12
"So, if giving people shit makes them think you're a creep, then.... No, no, owning all the shit should get you love. Something is missing......."
"Zookeeper! He's not here! Where the shit is he?"
Sleeper
2024-12-18 21:22:16
Sleeper Profile
Posted by ID #74
Last edit: 2025-09-18 14:43:30
"All we're missin' from this pile of gold and worshippers is Zookeeper. If he was here, then all the puzzle pieces would fit in."
Collector
2024-12-18 21:22:35
Collector Profile
Posted by ID #74
Last edit: 2025-09-18 14:43:50
"Mmmmmmm, I don't..... know if what's missing from your life is Zookeeper. I think all this money is stressing you out."
"Oh, uh, wait. Zookeeper is gone!"
"Skipper, weren't you supposed to be watchin' him?"
"Wait, what? Oh, c'mon, he's right over-"
Skip spins around, faces the Collector, pauses, and then turns back to the Sleeper.
Pondskipper
2024-12-18 21:23:20
Pondskipper Profile
Posted by ID #74
Last edit: 2025-09-18 14:44:26
"...............You get the blues confused sometimes...."
"SKIPPER!!!!!"
"He's- he's probably, like, in some garbage can somewhere, I dunno! The boss loves little enclosed spaces! He couldn't have run off TOO far-"
"I'm 5 seconds away from bankrupting both of you."
"And without the protection of Zookeeper's bosoms, do you know what's goin' to happen to you?"
"1. DON'T SAY IT LIKE THAT.
2. I DON'T WANT TO DIE."
"P-please, sir! Have mercy on us, we're only freelancers!"
"I'm too young to pay rent!!"
Collector
2024-12-18 21:25:05
Collector Profile
Posted by ID #74
Last edit: 2025-09-18 14:46:06
"SKIPPER, HE'S GOING TO KILL US, NOT MAKE US PAY RENT."
Collector
2024-12-18 21:25:18
Collector Profile
Posted by ID #74
Last edit: 2025-09-18 14:46:28
"Or, well, to be more technical. He's going to make us pay a very, very big rent, which will instantly kill us."
Collector
2024-12-18 21:25:36
Collector Profile
Posted by ID #74
Last edit: 2025-09-18 14:46:43
"So, yeah, I guess we're paying rent. Deadly rent."
Pondskipper
2024-12-18 21:25:46
Pondskipper Profile
Posted by ID #74
Last edit: 2025-09-18 14:46:56
"Oh, that doesn't sound too-"
Pondskipper
2024-12-18 21:25:57
Pondskipper Profile
Posted by ID #74
Last edit: 2025-09-18 14:47:09
"NO, THAT'S WORSE!"
Sleeper
2024-12-18 21:26:17
Sleeper Profile
Posted by ID #99
Last edit: 2024-12-18 21:26:53
"You lost my damn Zookeeper! You know I had a Zookeeper since I was a lil lamb, and you fucked it up! If someone kills him, who knows what he'll manifest as next!"
"Zookeeper is that old?!?!"
"Huh-huh. And I thought Collector was old."
Sleeper
2024-12-18 21:26:37
Sleeper Profile
Posted by ID #74
Last edit: 2025-09-18 14:48:13
"No, I just died a few universe cycles ago, so I had to be reborn and shit, it's complicated."
"Without my Zookeeper, I ain't ever goin' to be happy. He's what's missin'! What am I goin' to-"
"When am I allowed to interrupt?" Zookeeper is plastered in tags that say "ANOMALOUS, DO NOT INTERACT" and "EXTREME SOCIALITAL DANGER: HARMLESS AND NEUTRAL ALIGNED."
"Zookeeper, you're back! Shit, what happened to you?"
"A notail bagged and tagged me like some sort of wild animal, but released me upon realizing that removal of me would crumble a few societies dependent on me."
"That's super cool, boss! Glad to see you!"
("Collector, how many civilizations are dependent on Zookeeper again?...")
Collector
2024-12-18 21:28:54
Collector Profile
Posted by ID #74
Last edit: 2025-09-18 14:49:46
("We're currently up to 15 mega city planets. They can't get rid of Zookeeper, even if they wanted to!")
("Phew, he's an inevitability. Now I feel a little less bad about losin' him...")
"Right, now that Zookeeper is here. Everything is going to get a lot better!"
"........................................."
Sleeper
2024-12-18 21:29:31
Sleeper Profile
Posted by ID #99
Last edit: 2024-12-18 21:29:38
"............................................"
"I don't feel better!"
"Maybe we can go back to the idea that in a Limbo sort of way, money and running a business is causing you to be-"
"If you're looking for people who will really love you, I spotted something you might be interested in!"
"While I was being tagged, I overheard the notails talking about a very interesting problem they're having."
"Have you ever heard the good word about Jesus?"
END OF SEGMENT
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