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Home > Expos > Event 6 > Page 26
THE BOX OF WONDERS▼
THE BOX OF WONDERS
[Beyond Canon — Cosmic Carousel]
2024-12-19 17:13:44
Profile
Posted by ID #25
Last edit: 2024-12-19 17:14:19

A small group of tourists walked the streets of Lo'aith, seeking their next destination.

They could go to the treats and beats shop.

Towards a free meal stand in a parking lot.

To the cheese museum.

Or towards the newly opened church in town.

Ran Sum
"WELCOME STUDENTS OF THE MYSTERIES OF THE COSMOS!"
Ran Sum
2024-12-19 17:15:29
Ran Sum Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-10-02 06:51:03
"I'm Ran'Sum, boog extraordinaire, voted most likely to experience an industrial accident in university, and I welcome you to 'Is That A Kidney or A Kid Knee!'"
Ran Sum
"Or well I WOULD if I could afford recording equipment right now."
Ran Sum
"But hey, that just means we get to say the GOOD WORDS."
Ran Sum
2024-12-19 17:16:33
Ran Sum Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-10-02 06:51:20
"Like: 'Jesus's Knees'."
Ran Sum
"Anyways I am getting horribly off topic! Who the hell are you people? I have SCIENCE to do and a church to visit!"
Fumii
"Hi! Name's Fumii, heard there was something about someone needing assistants, I'm low on points, you seem like someone who needs serious professional help. Like me! Y'know?"
Bridgette
2024-12-19 17:18:15
Bridgette Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-10-02 07:20:44
Brigitte towered over the group as she watched over a mutant meg with one too many legs and says to the Ran'Sum, "I am Brigitte Hawkthorne... I'm here to watch this meg. It is a mutant and it looked sad so I'm just looking after it..."
Longest Scales
A marsue holds a small little shrimp in their hand, greeting the group.

"And I am Longest Scales. A mighty storyteller and worshipper of the fanatical. I brought my character here."
Ran Sum
"BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL, STUPENDOUS, SPLENDIFOROUS!"
Ran Sum
"The odds are in alignment! This day could not be more perfect!"
Ran Sum
"I do need help! Plenty of it!"
Ran Sum
"Alright everybody, I hope you have your safety goggles and a lead vest, because we are bringing SCIENCE to church tonight!"
Bridgette
2024-12-19 17:21:30
Bridgette Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-10-02 07:21:20
Brigitte has neither of those for this job. She just has this meg that isn't even hers.

She mopes, "..."
Ran Sum
"I will need to borrow your character for just one moment!"
Ran Sum
"Prepare for shrimp to shrimp communication, Cog!"

Ran'Sum attempts to have Cog copy the [Blessed Craftsman] off the small cekeki.

Cog copies [Blessed Craftsman].

The unnamed cekeki vanishes due to [Last Turn].

Longest Scales
"Oop and there he goes."
Fumii
"Rest in peace, weird little guy."
Bridgette
"He's gone..."
Ran Sum
"A noble sacrifice..."
Ran Sum
"This is where I would put a moment of silence, if I had one, instead, I will salute the shrimp in the name of the Great and Mighty Creator."
Longest Scales
"This just gives me an excuse to make more ocs."
Fumii
2024-12-19 17:26:31
Fumii Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-10-02 06:59:27
"Sooo... Onward to the church?"
Ran Sum
"There was one last worm in the works I believe. I can't quite remember."
Ran Sum
"Once the pets are ready we can go nuclear in the home of the lord."
Bridgette
2024-12-19 17:28:01
Bridgette Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-10-02 07:21:37
Brigitte really hopes she didn't get herself involved in a bombing.
Ran Sum
"There was a birthday boy I believe? Someone was supposed to bring the gifts!"
Longest Scales
"I have heard talks of a birthday boy, yes!"
Bridgette
2024-12-19 17:30:19
Bridgette Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-10-02 07:21:50
Brigitte prepares the Leg Meg regardless and grabs hold of the pet.

She wiggles its legs playfully before telling the group, "I've never heard of any of this... I'll help still though... I really want some cake."
Bridgette
"I'm so hungry."
Longest Scales
"Oh drat, I don't think I prepared any snacks for this story."
Fumii
"Oh, right! Buggy boo-boo? Do your thing!"

Fumii gestures at the tailmic.
Ran Sum
"Fret not! SCIENCE shall sate all!"

Ran'Sum waits for the tailmic to do its thing then makes his way to the church.

The tailmic gives everyone [Hammerspace].

Ran Sum
"BRILLIANT! Away we go!"

The team heads over to the church. There, they find many of the poor of Lo'aith eating while listening to the sermons of Satan.

Sleeper
"Things are going pretty well! We're feeding the homeless physically, and mentally!"
Sleeper
"We even got a few normal people in here as well. Didn't know the food problem was that big."
Zookeeper
"Or they could be mooching off of a free meal!"
Sleeper
"Who comes to a church for a free meal when they could just use their fancy club cards to eat free samples in a warehouse or somethin'?"
Ran Sum
Ran'Sum wheels up squeakily.

"Look! Food! This will make excellent fuel for our railgun."
Ran Sum
"How's the thermonuclear reactor going, Cog?"

He shakes the cekeki like an empty wallet until an item falls out.
Ran Sum rolls a 20 sided die. An 18 is rolled.

Cog drops a mini thermonuclear reactor.

Ran Sum
"BRILLIANT!"
Sleeper
"Hey! What the fuck are you doing?!?"
Sleeper
"This food is for poor people, not mad scientists!"
Fumii
"WOO! WE'RE GONNA SCIENCE ALL OVER YOU GUYS!"
Bridgette
2024-12-19 17:43:49
Bridgette Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-10-02 07:22:31
Brigitte decides to make use of the Leg Meg's [Hammerspace] as part of her job... She really wanted to eat some food that was around for the poor. She was poor!

She'll ask once she is done however.

"Here we go..."

She wiggles the meg into action.
2024-12-19 17:44:01
Brigitte Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-10-02 07:22:56
Brigitte rolls a 20 sided die. A 13 is rolled.

The Leg Meg summons a sewing machine!

Sleeper
"Ok you all better tell me what the fuck you're trying to do."
Sleeper
"And you better tell me fast."
Ran Sum
"Wait. The poor don't need small arms?"
Peter
"I regret to inform you that Christians do not typically engage in warfare."
Peter
"Typically."
Ran Sum
"Okay. Well then."
Ran Sum
"HELLO SIR OR MADAME WOULD YOU LIKE TO PURCHASE SOME ITEMS I HAVE?"
Bridgette
2024-12-19 17:46:22
Bridgette Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-10-02 07:23:21
Brigitte just hands over the sewing machine to Ran'sum and attempts to go get some of that food being handed out. She was hungry!

"Can I have some of that food.... I am hungry and I live in a ditch..."
Fumii
2024-12-19 17:46:51
Fumii Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-10-02 07:02:59
"I'm going to be honest I'm just kind of following this guy around because I'm hoping it'll pay me. I did want to be a mad scientist when I was growing up- but then I realized how many fluids those people deal with... Not that I don't currently handle fluids as it is- huh. Anyway, science?"
Sleeper
"You want me to buy a dang mini thermonuclear reactor? What am I'm going to do with that?"
Ran Sum
"..."
Ran Sum
"Warm the poor?"
Sleeper
"Zookeeper, how does a thermonuclear reactor work? I ain't smart, is this a good investment or what?"
Zookeeper
"The water in the core is heated by nuclear fission and then pumped into tubes inside a heat exchanger. Those tubes heat a separate water source to create steam. The steam then turns an electric generator to produce electricity. The core water cycles back to the reactor to be reheated and the process is repeated."
Sleeper
"Holy shit!"
Sleeper
"I don't fuckin' know how any of that works! You know we can just buy heaters right?"
Ran Sum
"But think of the functionality! You can bring it to parties! I hear it makes for a good oven for birthday cakes!"
Fumii
"Aren't thermonuclear reactors like, really expensive to make? You can probably get it on a major discount and then pawn it later if you really don't want to use it."
Sleeper
"That's nice and all but we don't have nuclear materials to power it!"
Sleeper
"................You want me to buy this fuckin' mini thermonuclear reactor and then pawn it off to someone else?"
Sleeper
"Let me guess, you want to sell me a bridge next, huh?"
Sleeper
"Look, I'm a guy who loves a good deal, but I'm positive sellin' a god lovin' thermonuclear reactor comes with a fuck ton of restrictions. Nevermind that it's a fuckin' small ass one. You got anything a normal ass salesman can resell?"
Ran Sum
"One moment, let me check in the back."

Ran'Sum prays to the Creator, the CEO of Science, that this works out.

He then shakes Cog again, copying another [Hammerspace] and using it.
Ran Sum rolls a 20 sided die. A 20 is rolled.
2024-12-19 17:53:59
Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-10-02 07:07:16

The Creator listens, and using the power of the meg as his source he summons an item with [Double or Nothing!]

An object is spawned. It is a single cardboard box.

Ran Sum
"100% of the time it works 2.74% of the time!"
Sleeper
"You tryin' to fool me or somethin'?"
Bridgette
2024-12-19 17:55:14
Bridgette Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-10-02 07:23:34
Brigitte feels a disturbance and turns to see the cardboard box. It doesn't seem like anything strange happened. Just a cardboard box appearing.

She goes back to attempting to procure food for herself, "Can I please have food..."
Longest Scales
"Oh a cardboard box has the most creative potential of any box."
Ran Sum
"I have full faith in the Creator and in SCIENCE, that this is the absolute pinnacle of genius and saleable items with no markup!"
Ran Sum
"Buy it now and I will throw in some candy."
Fumii
2024-12-19 17:56:27
Fumii Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-10-02 07:07:45
"Is there... Something in the box?"
Ran Sum
"Likely!"
Sleeper
"Dude, you don't have to ask if you can have food. This ain't a restaurant, it's a church, if you're hungry and poor you eat! If you're rich and full you donate!"
Bridgette
"..."
Bridgette
"Yay..."
Bridgette
2024-12-19 17:58:29
Bridgette Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-10-02 07:23:46
Brigitte goes and eats her fill of food. Which is like a whole buffet amount of food for a strangely hungry brewdian.

She tries to share with the beg, but she isn't sure how it eats with it being made entirely of legs.
Sleeper
The Sleeper approaches the box and stands over it. He kicks it slightly and it shifts. He points at the box.

"Ok. Get workin'. Sell me this box. Tell me how fuckin' amazin' this damn box is."
Longest Scales
2024-12-19 17:59:06
Longest Scales Profile
Posted by ID #25
Last edit: 2024-12-19 18:05:08
"Oh I know! Let me set up your shop real quick Ran'Sum. You need mood!"

Longest Scales gets out a few small flashlights they carry with them and little mirrors, setting them up around Ran'Sum, while placing down a small music player.
[Darren Korb - Dirty Deal Extended (1 Hour)]
Ran Sum
"As many people have realized, glunks are one of the hottest pets on the market! The reason is simple of course: THE CUBE."
Ran Sum
"Eye pleasing and soul pleasing for all customers, the cube is an absolute must for your next family gathering."
Ran Sum
"With a simple style, all potential lovers will swoon when you give them a cube for the holidays."
Peter
The poor people switch their attention from listening to Satan to listening to the Boog make a sale.

"!!!!"
Ran Sum
"Don't think inside the box, think OUTSIDE!"
Ran Sum
"The natural stiff edges of cubes makes it easily stored and experience less wear and tear than the normal daily appliances."
Ran Sum
"I know I would marry a cube lover!"
Zookeeper
Zookeeper approaches the box.

"So, you're saying that this box could cure all of our problems?"
Zookeeper
"That it's the most optimal shape?"
Ran Sum
"The small business robot is right! The shape is perfect!"
Ran Sum
"I hardly can bear to sell it to you."
Sleeper
"W-wait, but I want the box!"
Ran Sum
"This is my husband, SCIENCE."

The boog shakes Cog until a satellite photo of a carcilli with robot arms falls out.
Ran Sum
"For the past twenty-nine years we have been lovers of the cube."
Sleeper
("Wait...do I want the box.....")
Fumii
Fumii has been struck frozen in awe of the box.
Longest Scales
Longest Scales tosses a little bit of colored paper in the air.
Ran Sum
"But time goes on and as you know, the universe is rough out there."

The poor people shake their heads in agreement.

Bridgette
2024-12-19 18:07:53
Bridgette Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-10-02 07:23:58
Brigitte watches in awe of the sales pitch going on over a cardboard box. She sips a church provided drink that may or may not just be holy water that was left out.

She says, in an attempt to support her boss, "The box is good, yeah..."
Ran Sum
"I had to sell my billiard ball collection just to make ends meet."
Ran Sum
"The last thing we had. The last thing we could not get rid of was THE CUBE."
Zookeeper
Zookeeper opens the box to peek inside.
Zookeeper
"Hhhh.....it's....amazing....."
Sleeper
"What's in the box?"
Zookeeper
Zookeeper closes it. "No peeking!"
Sleeper
"How much you want for this box?"
Ran Sum
"That's the CUBE secret!"
Ran Sum
"You know what I want, you know what I came here all the way down with the box my husband loves?"
Fumii
"Now wait a second! I've been reliant of cylinders for too long! And I've gone out of my way to help this...robot thing! I think I deserve the cube!"
Sleeper
"Lady, you better fuck off, this box is mine!"
Ran Sum
2024-12-19 18:11:08
Ran Sum Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-10-02 07:11:23
"I just want a little friend. A little SCIENCE buddy to help me film and repair my worn home."
Bridgette
2024-12-19 18:11:26
Bridgette Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-10-02 07:24:10
Brigitte says in between another mouthful of food, "Mmmph... Business..."
Sleeper
"Uuuh a science buddy. I might have one of those."
Sleeper
"Hey Rye, where's that dog from the industrial acc- complaint?"
Rye
"Let me bring it out! 'w' "

"Grrr ruff!"

Fumii
Fumii huffs and backs off from the deal. That's a cool ass dog, they can't beat that.
Sleeper
"Looks like a good deal to me."
Ran Sum
2024-12-19 18:14:16
Ran Sum Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-10-02 07:12:28
"I must say, you're a generous man, woman or child. But I don't know if I can sell a cube for that. Look at all these STARVING customers!"
Sleeper
"Look man, you're goin' to need to lower the price. I don't have a little science man."
Bridgette
2024-12-19 18:14:51
Bridgette Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-10-02 07:24:28
Brigitte was definitely not starving in the moment. She was thriving and happy.

Once she gets her fill, she walks back over to the group and says, "I think I'm happy with this trip..."
Ran Sum
2024-12-19 18:15:08
Ran Sum Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-10-02 07:12:53
"Are you certain you don't have any assistants lying around? I can even throw in the thermonuclear reactor and a new sewing machine... I think that evens the price."
Sleeper
"Rye, you a science man? I mean, you're a notail right?"
Bridgette
2024-12-19 18:15:45
Bridgette Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-10-02 07:24:20
Brigitte grows curious in regards to the box and attempts to waddle over to it to check out its contents.
Rye
"I don't know anything about science, brother, just the stock market. 'w' "
Longest Scales
2024-12-19 18:16:26
Longest Scales Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-10-02 07:22:21
Longest Scales stops Brigitte.

"You can't break a storyteller's setup until it's over."
Zookeeper
Zookeeper stands in front of the box, refusing to let anyone near.
Bridgette
2024-12-19 18:17:09
Bridgette Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-10-02 07:22:11
Brigitte doesn't seem to understand why everyone is guarding the box. Is literally no one interested in what is inside the box at all?

Still, Brigitte is above making a fuss over a box when she is full of food and more tired than anything.

"It's a box... Are you not curious as to what is in it?"
Longest Scales
2024-12-19 18:19:10
Longest Scales Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-10-02 07:21:59
Longest Scales whispers to Brigitte, "The mystery is what keeps listeners speculating long afterwards."
Bridgette
2024-12-19 18:20:00
Bridgette Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-10-02 07:21:11
Brigitte squints at Zookeeper as Scales whispers in her ear hole.

She decides to turn away and go walk back over to Ran'sum to look like some sort of silly dressed bodyguard, "Very well... I'll be on stand by..."
Sleeper
"Look. You got me sold on the box but you don't have me sold on the price. Tell me what you want. Point it out to me. Act like I can't see no good."
Ran Sum
"Okay. The BOX, the thermonuclear device, the sewing machine, AND ten candy for the dog, your stock man, and one robot rotation."
Sleeper
"I'm haggling you down to the dog and 2 rotations of Zookeeper."
Sleeper
"I ain't sellin' my brother (adopted) like that. Have some heart, man."
Ran Sum
"No weekend visitation rights?"
Sleeper
"Plus I don't want your stupid thermonuclear device! It's useless!"
Ran Sum
"Fine. A deal's a deal."
Sleeper
"It's all yours. Zoo, rotate two times for the man."
Zookeeper
Zookeeper spins around twice.
Ran Sum
"AMAZING! It was just as good as they said it would be."

Ran'Sum hands over the box and sewing machine and takes the dog.
Bridgette
"Aw... I thought I'd get to rotate him..."
Ran Sum
2024-12-19 18:21:40
Ran Sum Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-10-02 07:15:32
"Thank you, science team, and thank you most of all CREATOR, my one and only viewer! You all get holographic stars!"
Fumii
"Do the holographic stars come with points oooorrr..."
Ran Sum
"No."
Longest Scales
Longest Scales throws out a clawful of confetti.
Bridgette
2024-12-19 18:23:39
Bridgette Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-10-02 07:21:01
Brigitte is surprised, but is still happy to get a star! She is unsure how she could wear a holographic star, though. This could just be like a fake reward.

Honestly, Brigitte couldn't care less. She is just happy to have gotten food. She pets her meg. She won't be trying to eat this mutant now like she planned. It gets to live! For now...
Sleeper
"Shit in this box has to be good if the Creator summoned it."
Zookeeper
"I assure you, what's inside will be a new hot item!"
Sleeper
2024-12-19 18:23:53
Sleeper Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-10-02 07:16:51
"Now if you kind folks don't mind, I'm going to be opening my box."
Sleeper
"Enjoy the rest of your day, and listen to the sermons of the ram on the stage."
Sleeper
"Once you start listening, you won't be able to stop listening to a man with passion like that."
Ran Sum
"Thank you! Thank you everyone! I wish the CREATOR and everyone else a merry!"
The Sleeper brings the box to his basement den, Zookeeper skipping behind him.
Sleeper
2024-12-19 18:25:39
Sleeper Profile
Posted by ID #25
Last edit: 2024-12-19 18:26:13
"Now lets see the big ticket item." He opens it to find.....
Sleeper
2024-12-19 18:26:04
Sleeper Profile
Posted by ID #25
Last edit: 2024-12-19 18:26:20
....Nothing.

"What the fuck! Zookeeper, you fuckin' told me this object was amazin'!"
Zookeeper
"I did not lie about the contents of the box. It is only my opinion that I find the context of it amazing."

Zookeeper jumps into the box and pokes his head out.
Zookeeper
"I personally think what this box is, is amazing!"
Sleeper
"Zookeeper, I'm 5 seconds away from sealing this damn fuckin' box and mailing you to a bunch of notails who will poke you with sticks to see what happens. You better fuckin' explain why this box is amazin'."
Zookeeper
"Well, if you can never see what is in the box. It will always be the best thing in the universe!"
Zookeeper
"You can sell people nothing, if they do not know the difference between nothing, and everything."
Zookeeper
"But you should never lie about it. Lying is wrong. You should not lie."
Zookeeper
"But only sell what you believe in."
Sleeper
The Sleeper takes a long drag of his cigarette.

"Selling a belief huh?"
Sleeper
He listens carefully to Satan downstairs and his sermons on heaven and hell.

"Got a question for you, Zoo."
Sleeper
He knew he shouldn't do this, but Zookeeper's words makes him think of the riches he could add to his hoard.

"Do you think we can sell Heaven itself?"
END OF EXPO.
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