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Home > Expos > Event 3 > Page 38
THE GOOD JESTER▼
THE GOOD JESTER

[Phoenix Wright: Trials and Tribulations OST - Investigation ~ Opening 2004]

2024-12-13 11:59:27
Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2024-12-13 11:59:47

You're all running out of food, you need a temp job.

You and your crew flip through the papers, seeking out what work can be done. You spot 3 which might just fit the bill.

The first is helping with the care of plants for a home owner.
The second is getting a "gross cold dentine" out of someone's parking lot.
And the third is locating rats hidden in the walls and scaring them out.

Drac
2024-12-13 12:00:25
Drac Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2024-12-13 12:18:12
"Gee how'd we eat through all that food?? I don't even eat…"
Stumpios
"Mentos is a growing boy!!!! He needs SUSTENANCE."
Wildfire
2024-12-13 12:04:01
Wildfire Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2024-12-13 12:11:29
"All of these sound a little tiring... But helping take care of plants sounds a LOT more chill than fighting rats."
Stumpios
"Plants"
Gramma
"Plants... Lovely things."
Wildfire
2024-12-13 12:07:13
Wildfire Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2024-12-13 12:11:09
"PLants."
Drac
2024-12-13 12:08:53
Drac Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2025-11-20 17:14:45
"I uh… I kinda want to grab a dog. Like I have the URGE to pick up and grab a dog."
Stumpios
"PICK! UP! THAT! DOG!"
Willow
Willow huffs, trying to sound apologetic. She might've had a snack or two. Or five.
Drac
2024-12-13 12:09:49
Drac Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2024-12-13 12:18:31
"Oh!! Hello piggy wiggy! <3<3<3!!!"
Willow
2024-12-13 12:10:29
Willow Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2024-12-13 12:10:42
The senator's front hooves clack against the ground at the attention, rubbing her snout against the leg of the robot. Almost like a cat?
Drac
2024-12-13 12:12:11
Drac Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2024-12-13 12:18:37
"Awww! I love you too!!"
Gramma
2024-12-13 12:12:58
Gramma Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2024-12-13 12:13:29
Grams had been sneaking the pig snacks, but she wasn't about to admit to this... instead she just hides wrappers in her clothes.

"I dare say, this lost little lass here's quite adorable. Would you guys mind if we brought it along? She won't eat the plants we're going to take care of, hopefully."
Stumpios
"Wait are we going for the dog or the plants?"
Wildfire
"Man I'm not sure... I'm just hungry."
Stumpios
"dontmakemedecideISUCKatdecisions"
Drac
2024-12-13 12:15:34
Drac Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2024-12-13 12:18:46
"Uh sure! …Though I think I may be going to take the dentine job– Sounds like more fun-"
Drac
2024-12-13 12:15:49
Drac Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2024-12-13 12:18:52
"-Dude, you eat??"
Wildfire
"biofuel"
Stumpios
"Bro you don't even have a mouth-"
Wildfire
"burning"
Gramma
"Oh, my mistake, thought for sure we'd go water plants."
Drac
2024-12-13 12:17:59
Drac Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2024-12-13 12:19:00
Draco replies to Stumpios, "Ironically I do! And I don't eat-"
Drac
Drac opens his awful gaping maw.
Gramma
"..."
Wildfire
"lets stop talking about how I burn twinkies to feel alive lets pick a job"
Stumpios
"......"
Willow
OH MY GOD THAT IS TERRIFYING. WILLOW SQUEALS AND RUNS TOWARDS THE NICE GRAMMIE.
Draco
"Oh nOoo!! I'm sorry!–"
You all awkwardly head to your next job after seeing... that.
2024-12-13 12:22:27
Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2024-12-13 12:23:26

The part of town the job was at was much shadier. As you walked around a clown opened his jacket, asking if you wanted to buy some Boopnozzles or Flimflamfoos. You ignored the sellers the best you could, and found the parking lot, where a clown greeted you.

Penelope
"Thanks for comin' under short notice! I got this mongrel over here making it hard for me to earn a livin'! How's a guy like me gonna make a little money on the side selling parkin' spots when that's runnin' round!?"

"Hhhhhhhhhooooooooooo."

Penelope
2024-12-13 12:35:46
Penelope Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2024-12-13 12:36:06
"Get it out of here, and dinner's on me, got it?"
Wildfire
"DINNER"
Drac
"PUPPY!!! <3"
Stumpios
"FOOD FOR MY BIRD"
Wildfire
"Lets get this dog, gang"
Gramma
"..-. ..- -.-. -.-"
Gramma
"Sure thing! We'll get right on it."
Drac
"GUYS NO DON'T EAT THE DOG- MY HEART CAN'T HANDLE THAT-"
Willow
2024-12-13 12:38:12
Willow Profile
Posted by ID #195
Last edit: 2025-11-20 17:21:38
Food!! Willow clacks her hooves against the ground again, her tail wagging.
Stumpios
"I meant the actual dinner."
Wildfire
"Bro we aren't gonna eat your dog... we're just hungry in general..."
Penelope
2024-12-13 12:39:07
Penelope Profile
Posted by ID #195
Last edit: 2025-11-20 17:22:04
"I'll see you's all in an hour, have it out of here." The clown waltzes off.
Drac
"Ooh... Oof, A'ighty-"
Drac
2024-12-13 12:39:56
Drac Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2024-12-13 12:40:04
"LET'S GET THIS BREAD-"
Wildfire
"Let's try just picking it up maybe. It seems pretty chill."
Gramma
"... Shoo it away?"
Stumpios
"Hey Mentos, can you try and get the dog into an easier spot to grab?"
Willow
Willow tries to talk to the dentine! She hasn't tried to talk to other fauna yet...
Drac
"Mx.Paaaint! Time to herd a puppy into a corner! <3"
Drac
"SO WE CAN GET 'EM!!!"
2024-12-13 12:43:50
Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2024-12-13 12:44:59

"Chitter chitter"

Gramma
Grams looks behind her back, just to make doubly sure she's looking at the clown's back and that he did not recognize her.

"If you approach it from the back it'll get scared and might attack, be careful!"

As you order your pets to approach the dentine, something falls from the sky, landing before you all!

[Mask DeMasque ~ Please Listen! Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney Trials and Tribulations]

???
2024-12-13 12:48:57
??? Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2024-12-13 12:52:07
"Hmmmph, you think you can stop my evil plot?"
Stumpios
"Yea,"
Drac
"…To like stop some guy from selling parking lot space???"
???
2024-12-13 12:49:36
??? Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2024-12-13 12:52:13
"Do you know who you are dealing with?"
Gramma
"No."
Wildfire
"Not at all but I'd love to learn!!"
Willow
Willows not scared'a nuthin'!
???
2024-12-13 12:51:17
??? Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2024-12-13 12:52:19
"What my real name is, is none of your concern, but-"
???
2024-12-13 12:51:26
??? Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2024-12-13 12:52:23
"You may call me......"
???
".........................................."
???
"Can any of you give me a cool criminal name?"
Gramma
"..."
Stumpios
"Binkbonk."
Wildfire
"Crimson!! Sounds kinda like Crimes- son!"
Willow
"oink oink squeeaaal!!"
Drac
"That sounds like a real cool name!"
Gramma
"Oh doubling down on Crimson, that works."
???
"Then so be it......"
Drac
"Not really good with coming up with names on the spot so my bro's pick is p good,"
Gramma
"The word son's got a nice tune to it."
Wildfire
"You are very cool"
Crimson Jester
"I am Binkbonk, the Crimson Jester."
Crimson Jester
"(I'm not a real jester don't worry.)"
Wildfire
"How is someone allowed to have this much swag"
Drac
"Nice to meet ya Binkbonk!" Drac winkwonks.
Crimson Jester
"(And if I was a real jester I wouldn't kidnap you.....)"
Crimson Jester
"(As that crime comes with at least two years' jail time.)"
Stumpios
"THANK YOU FOR TAKING MY NAME SUGGESTION."
Wildfire
"We collabed <3"
Drac
"Two! Two of my favorite people collab'd!"
Gramma
"Would you happen to know where your parents are, Binkbonk? We could probably help you find them if you need... We only really need a couple people to get the dentine."
Crimson Jester
"Anyway, you'll not be stopping my crimes!"
Drac
"Sorry- kinda have to, it's only business!"
Willow
Willow rolls over in front of Binkbonk, wanting belly rubs!!
Drac
"AND MY BOYS GOTTA EAT!!!"
Crimson Jester
"Well if you attempt to stop my crimes I-"
Crimson Jester
"Piggy boo boooo!!!!!!!"
Stumpios
"..."

The Crimson Jester pets Willow!

Wildfire
"Cutest thing I've ever seen."
Drac
"Aww!"
Gramma
Grams pets Willow!
Drac
"Psst… Mx.Paint… Get the dog."
Willow
Oh my god!!!! A double pet fest!!!!!! The thing of dreams!!!!!!
Stumpios
Stumpios pets Willow, but also pets Mentos so he doesn't get jealous.
Willow
A TRIPLE PET FEST!!!!!!
Wildfire
Wildfire also pets willow. Who's a cool gal? You are. You areeeee.
Willow
WILLOW IS WIGGLING AND DOING THAT WEIRD LEG THING!! YKNOW!!!! SHE'S BEING SO PET RIGHT NOW SHE'S SO HAPPY SHE COULD DIE!!!!!

Mx. Paint wiggles their antennae, and scuttles toward the dentine while everyone is distracted!

Drac
"Good bug! <3"
Drac rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +20. A 31 is rolled.

Mx.Paint picks up the dentine with no issue and brings it back!

Crimson Jester
"!!!!!!!!!"
Crimson Jester
"You distracted me...you foul........."
Drac
"Good bug good bug!!! <3<3<3<3<3"
Crimson Jester
"What are you, like, temp workers????"
Wildfire
"Don't blame Willow, she's just a cute creature. Also we kinda just wandered in here; we're starving."
Gramma
"Freelancers."
Stumpios
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure this goes against child labor laws."
Wildfire
"Oh, most definitely."
Drac
"Like I said, my fellas gotta eat! So we're doing jobs!"
Stumpios
"Well a dog's a dog."
Willow
Where did the pets go….
Crimson Jester
"YOU FOUL STARVING CHILD FREELANCERS!!!!!!!!!!"
Crimson Jester
"Wait holy shit, that sounds horrible, are you guys ok?????"
Wildfire
"Haha not really!"
Stumpios
"I physically can't starve!"
Drac
"Oh same- Can't eat but I got a mouth!"
Crimson Jester
"I don't want to call the cops but like....do you need me to call the cops?"
Gramma
"Don't call the cops. We, uh, need the money. Please."
Willow
No!!!! Willow doesn't want her to call the cops!!!!! Where will she demand her food from!!!!
Drac
"Yeah- We do need the money and the cops are scaryyy."
Wildfire
"What will the cops do for us. They didn't promise us dinner. The weird clown who is paying us to pick up dangerous animals for food did."
Stumpios
"Yeah. What the fire man said."
Drac
"I also feel like I'd get arrested..."
Crimson Jester
"The cops are scary! But also... child labor laws!"
Crimson Jester
"Actually....you all look a little old to be children....."
Drac
"Also… Like, I'm an adult."
Crimson Jester
"Dare you lie to the CRIMSON JESTER?!?!"
Wildfire
"Grandma pumps up the average age of the group. It's an optical illusion."
Gramma
"I'm a child at heart, actually..."
Stumpios
"Age for AI is weird, ok."
Drac
"I'm just short! A manlet!"
Crimson Jester
"Oh if it's just an optical illusion that's fine then!"
Crimson Jester
"BUT! I still cannot let you leave with that dentine!!!!!!"
Crimson Jester
"......It's part of my plans......"
Stumpios
"What are your plans."
Wildfire
"Can we help?"
Drac
"Well as long as the plan isn't stopping us from getting paid, I'm in!"
Willow
Willow wants to help do crimes!!!!!
Crimson Jester
"My evil plans were to Stop People From Parking Here!~"
Drac
"Oh, that's an issue."
Stumpios
"Traffic cones, problem solved."
Wildfire
"Well, just putting one dentine here only stops ONE person from parking here. Maybe if we got a bunch of rocks it would make it even harder. The dentine can just, leave."
Crimson Jester
"Well what if I......."
Crimson Jester
"placed TWO dentines!"
Wildfire
"now we're talkin'."
Crimson Jester
"Now you can't stop me."
Stumpios
"That's... a lot of ears."
Willow
Willow trots over to another parking lot!!! Now they stop 3 people!!!
Drac
"Dude… Seriously."
Wildfire
"There's still like sixteen parking spots. You would need sixteen dentines, and even then, you can't be sure they won't wander off!"
Gramma
"...Would they not cover two parking spots each if you placed them in the middle?"
Drac
2024-12-13 13:32:36
Drac Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2024-12-13 13:33:24
sIGHING.
Wildfire
"A better solution is irreparable property damage."
Crimson Jester
"Hhehehehe SIXTEEN DENTINES YOU SAY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!! WELL I-"
Crimson Jester
"Don't... have that many....."
Drac
"So uh I have an idea!"
Stumpios
"If you give the dentines trainers, they won't wander off..."
Wildfire
"Well hey, maybe we can help look for more sustainable solutions for outsourcing your crimes!"
Drac
"We'll find you some inanimate heavy stuff to stop cars instead of dogs!"
Crimson Jester
"...Look, how about I let you Freelancers off if you give me your email address and password?"
Stumpios
"..."
Crimson Jester
".....I only need one."
Stumpios
"I'll make you a burner account for a dog?"
Drac
"Yeah!!!"
Wildfire
"Yeah, I'm down!"
Wildfire
"You want my business or personal email?"
Crimson Jester
"Oh perfect! Write it down for me. Which ever account you haven't used to sign up for 1 month of free Armazon Prime, thanks!"
Drac
"Y'know! I have a few movies downloaded in me too if you want copies of those!"
Wildfire
"I've never signed up for a free trial before. Things that aren't permanent scare me."

Their business email: Fire2000Fire@hotmail.fire
Their password: FakePassword17thehackersllnevergethtisone

Stumpios
"..."
Gramma
Memorized.
Stumpios
"WILD."
Wildfire
"So we good?"
Crimson Jester
"AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH!!!! YOUR FREE DISCOUNT IS MINE!!!!"
Drac
"Yo- I can't believe you actually did that-"
Wildfire
"Enjoy! Have a great day!"
Crimson Jester
".............................................."
Crimson Jester
"Ok so I'm....going to leave now, bye."

She just......
Walks away.

Wildfire
"Stay well and do crime"
Gramma
"Bye! Hope you find your parents soon, dear!"
Drac
"Bye bye have a safe trip!!"
Stumpios
"We're so good at this."
Drac
"Also Mx.! Another dog–"
Wildfire
"Drac, look, the dog lies unguarded-"
Crimson Jester
"I'm sorry piggle boo boo.....I shall pet you another day."
Crimson Jester
"Woah woah wait."
Drac
"!!!"

Mx. Jigsaw SCUTTLE SCUTTLES TOWARD DOG 2.
Wildfire
"You did a great job man!"
Crimson Jester
"That's my dog."
Wildfire
"Oh it is?"
Crimson Jester
"Please don't steal that one this is not a joke."
Drac
"OH WAIT MX STOP"
Gramma
"ᴹᵒⁿᵗʰ ᶠʳᵉᵉ ᵒᶠ ᴬʳᵐᵃᶻᵒⁿ ᴾʳᶦᵐᵉ..."
Stumpios
"YO DON'T STEAL THE DOG"
Drac
"!!"

Drac's tailmic stops in their tracks.
Wildfire
"Why'd you leave it alone in a parking lot."
Crimson Jester
She picks up her dentine. "I was trying to make a dramatic exit I'm so sorry."
Drac
"Aw its okay. Sorry for trying to take your dog."
Stumpios
"Don't ditch your dog again."
Crimson Jester
"Bye for real this time. Sorry your job sucks, freelancers."
Wildfire
"Ok just be careful next time, you wouldn't want it to get lost or someone to think it was missing."
Gramma
"It happens to everyone, try not to forget your dog again sweetheart."

She just walks away, BUT FOR REAL THIS TIME.

Strumpios
"Okay, now the free dog."
Drac
"What a nice crime-committing kid!"
Wildfire
"Man this is great. Look at that. All I had to do was lose my business email."
Wildfire
"And you know what?"
Wildfire
"It had no business being my email anyways."
Stumpios
"AYEEEE"
Willow
"Oink!"
Drac
"WAITWAIT-"
Gramma
"Say, how do you use an 'E-mail'?"
Wildfire
"You'll find out when you're older, grandma."
Willow
2024-12-13 14:00:26
Willow Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2024-12-13 14:00:37
Willow tries to explain the delicate intricacies of using internet mail, but it's lost in translation….
Drac
"They're gonna figure out it's fake and come back-"
Wildfire
2024-12-13 14:01:29
Wildfire Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2024-12-13 14:01:40
"-Oh no that email is very real. I just only use it for grocery receipts."
Penelope
"Hey! You folks done clearing the parking lot of that mutt?"
Stumpios
"Someone mugged us of a business email."
Drac
2024-12-13 14:02:11
Drac Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2024-12-13 14:02:29
"Yessir! Lookie! My Mic caught the poochie poo! <3"

Mx. Artist chitters.
Penelope
"Whatever gets the job done."
Wildfire
"Please feed us."
Willow
Willow wants pets from the zanni!! She bites the zanni's sleeve and tugs on it.
Drac
"Good bug good bug- I wouldn't be so cool if it weren't for you <3<3"
Wildfire
2024-12-13 14:03:48
Wildfire Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2024-12-13 14:05:09
"Yeah yeah, thanks folks for catchin' the ugly mutt. Come on, cheesecake factory is on me."

The zanni pets Willow on the head, then starts walking off.
Wildfire
"CHEESECAKE FOR THE FIRE."
Drac
"WOO!!"
Stumpios
2024-12-13 14:05:53
Stumpios Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2024-12-13 14:06:07
"HECK YEAH!!!! My bit's all for you, Mentos!! I couldn't eat it anyways."
Drac
"Eat up Mx.Paint! You deserve it! <3"
Gramma
Grams follows from a smart, slightly-behind distance; as to not let let the clown see her too easily.

"...Say, what's an 'Armazon Prime'? Can you hire a strong arma to do your bidding for a month?"
END OF EXPO.
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