17:18 | 26 Online Users
Login
Station
Login
Catalogue
Story Bestiary All Pets Database Colors Rules Cosmosdex

STORY

STORY

Home > Expos > Event 3 > Page 28
BANK HEIST▼
BANK HEIST
[Payday 2 Official Soundtrack - #09 Razormind]

You've all been hired by the "Ringleader" for a heist. You don't know the plan yet, but you've met up a few streets away to discuss it.

Circe
"All right! What's all you folks specialty?"
Announcer
"Besides being the most handsome person around? I've got creatures. Like Gun here."

The numbskull floats menacingly.

Grams
"Mmh... Why, Sudden and Extreme Violence dear, of course!"
Circe
"Smart!!!!! Remember, no shooting folks unless things get bad."
Circe
"Oh yeah yeah, I think Kratos told me that you've lifted 3 4-legged mammals before at once, is that true, grandma?"
Grams
"Oh, yes, of course, dear! As much as I'd love to brag though, I'm pretty sure one of the three was heavily malnutritioned. The thornheads were quite heavy though!"
Grams
"Also candy. I have a lot of lemon flavored candy. Want some?"
Announcer
"Sure, I'll take a candy. Or twelve. I think I deserve a treat for tagging along."
Willow
Willow deserves candy more!! "Honk!!" She kicks the announcer for even TRYING to take any candy.
Announcer
"HEY! WE'RE ON THE SAME TEAM."
Circe
"Folks folks, you can share the candy!!!!! One of you licks it first, and then the other second."
Announcer
2024-12-13 10:38:47
Announcer Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-13 10:39:12
"I call first lick."
Grams
"Now, now, there's enough for everyone, take your pick everyone!"
Announcer
"I don't want any of your germs getting in the way of the flavor."
Willow
Willow kicks him again!!!!!! Willow gets the first lick.
Grams
"We'll have as much candy as we want after the heist after all."
Circe
"Ladies, men, and clowns, let's get serious."
Circe
"We'll buy all the candy we want after this!"
Announcer
"Sounds like a plan to me."
Grams
"You really should tell me your preference at some point though, dearie."
Circe
"Now the plan is easy peezy. One of us walks up to the teller, and asks for the money."
Circe
"Make sure to say, "Don't call the cops." But it never works anyway!"
Circe
"Once we got the funny bucks, we rob everyone inside. Make sure to surround anyone you see."
Circe
"This is the part when the cops are going to break in, so grab one of them as a hostage!"
Announcer
"Pfft, easy. I can make demands of some lowly teller. Nothing a star team player like me couldn't handle. Be sure to thank me later."
Circe
"After that, who knows what'll happen!!! It's always a surprise."
Grams
"Am I allowed to offer the hostage some candy? I really should get rid of these at some point, my pockets are starting to get sticky from the heat you see."
Circe
"Ok you're on team rob the teller, we need one more person on that team!"
Willow
"Oink squeeeal!!" Willow wants to!!
Announcer
"Please let it not be the pig. They already knocked some mud on my suit."
Circe
"Willow wants to! Willow wants too!!!"
Circe
"And Willow gets anything she wants, don't you Willow???~"
Grams
"Be a dear and take the pig on a walk would you? It's just a simple bank robbery, poor thing could use the exercise!"
Circe
"Don't look down on her just cause she's a hog. She has the bite force of a crocodile!!!"
Willow
Willow sticks out her tongue and rolls onto her back, "Oink oink!!" She sure does!
Announcer
"I didn't sign up to be a pet sitter, but I suppose it's not beneath me to get a helping hand. Crocodile bite strength certainly makes the deal sweeter though."
Circe
"Sounds like we all are in agreeance, anyone has any questions before we get in there?"
Grams
Grams pets the pig in preparation for the big heist. "Who's my cute little criminal, why yes, yes you are!"
Willow
"Oink!!!" Yes she is!! She's robbed multiple stores before!!
Announcer
"How secure is this place, exactly?"
Grams
"Should we be worrying about any clown guards? Funny batons? Laugh grenades?"
Announcer
"Tickle gas, perhaps?"
Grams
"Yeah, the tickle gas is quite terrifying indeed."
Circe
"All we have to worry about are the cops who are going to show up mid event!!!!!!! Don't worry, I replaced their tear gas with laughing gas and their big shockers with muilt level haha prods!!!"
Circe
"I mean, they also have guns but they woooooon't use that on us."
Grams
"They'll never know what hit 'em."
Announcer
"If they do, we'll shoot back. Easy peasy."
Circe
"Then let's get a move on!!!!"

The group ran over to the bank under the cover of endless darkness. Circe kicked open the door.
Circe
".................................................."
Circe
"(GUYS I FORGOT TO THINK OF A COOL OPENING LINE!!!!)"
Grams
"NO FUNNY BUSINESS EVERYONE! WE'RE HERE TO ROB THIS BANK!"
Announcer
"Hello fellow bank denizens! Just- or that."
Adelynn
"... 20, 30... 40... 50 dollars... And you're depositing int-..."
Adelynn
"...?"
Metaparxi Worker
It's been a long past few days for him. Working two jobs is hard, but it's work he's willing to do to provide for his k- Oh no.
Announcer
"Hand the money over, and nobody has to get hurt!"
Circe
"Correction, it is slightly funny business!"
Circe
"Just not for you."
Adelynn
"Uh! Well! That's kind of illegal, you know."
Willow
Willow runs over to the bank teller, climbing onto the table and huffing on the glass!! She writes "Money?" with her hoof, but you can't really tell.
Metaparxi Worker
"Is that a sentient gun?"
Announcer
"I don't think the pig or I care that much if it is illegal."
Circe
"Yeah!!!! Ain't it cool?"
Announcer
"It really is."
Metaparxi Worker
"Hahaha!!! Yeah it sure is!!!! pleasedon'thurtmeIhaveawifeandachild"
Grams
"Anyone moves a muscle and they won't get any lemon flavored candy. Warning you all right now so that you don't get any ideas."
Willow
2024-12-13 11:05:58
Willow Profile
Posted by ID #195
Last edit: 2025-11-17 20:53:53
Willow freezes!!! She wants candy.
Grams
"Oh except you dear, I could not possibly think of not giving you any candy after a job well done. Continue mugging the chap if you would."
Announcer
The announcer goes to pull out his money bag. He does have one, right?
Announcer rolls a 20 sided die. A 14 is rolled.

Announcer has a cool looking money bag, it says "Crimes" on it.

Circe
"Oh wait, oh wait!!! I'm forgetting to do my part, let me just take this balloon and......."
CIRCE TURNS THE BALLOONS INTO A GUN.
Circe
"Tada!!!!"
Metaparxi Worker
"H."
Adelynn
"I just got this job, and I uh... prefer not to lose it so uh!! UH!!!"
Adelynn
"SECURITY!"
Circe
Circe points the gun at the metaparxi! "Alright, let's see what's in your pockets."
Announcer
He holds up the crime bag to the counter aftik. "MONEY IN THE BAG! NOW, OR IT'S THE GUN FOR YOU."
Metaparxi Worker
2024-12-13 11:15:34
Metaparxi Worker Profile
Posted by ID #195
Last edit: 2025-11-17 20:55:09
I'm sorry this man is literally so broke. He has like. A couple corn chips and some quarters. What did you expect he's working two jobs.
SECURITY IS INCOMING IN ONE TURN. THE ALARMS HAVE BEEN TRIGGERED.
Willow
"Oink oink oink!!!" Money in the bag!!!!
Adelynn
"GUN???" The aftik attempts to go hide in a safer place!
Circe
"Mmmmmmmm Looks like I'm."
Circe
"Just going to need to take the shirt off your back."
Circe
"Hand it over, punk."
Metaparxi Worker
"This is my only work shirt...."
Grams
"Oh please, you look cold in that shirt. You could use a warmer sweater or none."
Circe
"Grandma. Take off his shirt."
Grams
"Gladly."
Metaparxi Worker
2024-12-13 11:20:12
Metaparxi Worker Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-13 11:20:19
"OKAY I'M TAKING IT OFF!"
Announcer
"GUN. DO YOUR THING."
Announcer rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +5. A 17 is rolled.
2024-12-13 11:22:03
Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-13 11:28:22

ANNOUNCER SHOOTS THROUGH THE GLASS. THE ROBBERS ARE FREE TO JUMP TO THE OTHER SIDE.

SUDDEN AND EXTREME VIOLENCE TIME WE ARE RIPPING THIS SHIRT OFF ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.

Grams rolls a 20 sided die. A 1 is rolled.
2024-12-13 11:25:51
Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-13 11:26:04

GRANDMA TAKES OFF HER OWN SHIRT??????

Circe
"GranDMA WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?!?!"
Metaparxi Worker
The metaparxi covers his eyes.
Announcer
"Go get the money, lil piggy."
Grams
"It's a little hot in here, could you turn on the aircon back there behind the counter? I can't work in these conditions."
Announcer
"What in the name of clown crimes is going on over there?"
2024-12-13 11:33:17
Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-13 11:34:01

Willow jumps in and starts eating the cash!!

Adelynn, meanwhile, is scrambling to go find the security and running for her life - ESPECIALLY AFTER HEARING AN ACTUAL GUNSHOT.


Metaparxi Worker
"PLEASE JUST TAKE THE SHIRT."

Grandma gets a sad work shirt with a nametag on it.
Grams
"Just one moment Circe, dear."
Announcer
"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO PUT THE MONEY IN THE BAG! NOT EAT IT!"
Kratos
2024-12-13 11:34:48
Kratos Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-13 11:35:16
The cops have arrived. "Everyone hold it right there!"
Adelynn
"ONE OF THEM HAS A GUN, OFFICER!"
Kratos
"You are committing a criminal offense, hands in the air, now!"
Metaparxi Worker
"They... They took my work shirt."
Kratos
Kratos looks at the gun numbskull and the balloon gun.
Kratos
"Which one of those is the real gun?"
Announcer
2024-12-13 11:37:06
Announcer Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-13 11:37:56
"The only people I put my hands up for are for my adoring fans, sorry."
Willow
The law doesn't apply to pigs!!!
[BIG SHOT - Deltarune: Chapter 2]
Adelynn
"I DON'T KNOW!!! I JUST HEARD THE NOISE!!" The aftik peaks around a door while staring at the ones... robbing??? or perhaps??? EATING?? THE MONEY?
Metaparxi Worker
"Can I at least have the nametag back-- it's so hard to get people to actually print my name on it."
Grams
"I can't go back to therapy. DO WE HAVE THE CASH YET?! WE GOTTA MAKE A MOVE THE BIRD IS HERE!"
Announcer
"THAT PIG IS EATING IT ALL."
Kratos
"CITIZEN, TELL ME WHICH ONE OF THESE CRIMINALS IS THE BIGGEST DANGER SO I CAN TAKE THEM DOWN FIRST."
Adelynn
The aftik points at Announcer!
Grams
"Oh, why the shirtless office man, of course! They were waving this weapon around just earlier!"
Metaparxi Worker
"THE GRANDMA. THE GRANDMA. MAKE HER STOP."
Willow
Willow continues eating the cash, but spots something more valuable?
Willow rolls a 20 sided die. An 11 is rolled.

IT'S THE AFTIK'S LUNCH!

Announcer
"GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO DO IT MYSELF, FINE." Announcer starts collecting money that Willow isn't eating.
Adelynn
"WAIT THAT'S MY LUNCH!"
Adelynn
"CURSE YOU!"
Metaparxi Worker
"WHY ARE YOU POINTING AT ME? YOUR ACCOMPLICE HAS ME AT GUNPOINT."
Willow
2024-12-13 12:29:19
Willow Profile
Posted by ID #195
Last edit: 2025-11-17 21:01:17
OH MY GOD WILLOW LOVES COTTON CANDY MILK, SHE EATS IT IN ONE BITE!!
Announcer
"OUR LUNCH NOW! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR CALLING THE COPS."

KRATOS V1 GOES TO TACKLE THE ANNOUNCER.

Kratos rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +5. An 11 is rolled.
Kratos
2024-12-13 12:33:13
Kratos Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-13 12:33:25
Announcer is grabbed! "Don't struggle."
Announcer
"Hey, hands off the suit, pal!"
Willow
Willow starts sweating. There's gotta be something better than cash here!
Kratos
"I don't mean to handle you roughly. But you are robbing someone at gun point."
Announcer
"It's not gun point, it's ghost point. There's a difference."
Grams
THE JIG IS UP, GRANDMA MAKES A MAD DASH TOWARDS THE BACK OF THE COUNTER AND INTO THE SAFE, AND SHE'S TAKING THE METAPARXI WITH, SHE NEEDS HANDS TO CARRY CASH.
Grams rolls a 20 sided die. A 4 is rolled.
2024-12-13 12:37:54
Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-13 12:38:02

GRANDMA TRIPS.

Kratos
2024-12-13 12:39:36
Kratos Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-13 12:41:40
"Both of these offenses still lead to jail time, I'm sorry."

Kratos attempts to arrest!
Kratos rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +5. A 7 is rolled.

ANNOUNCER BREAK AWAY FROM KRATOS AND CONTINUES SHOVELLING MONEY INTO THE BAG.

Metaparxi Worker
THE METAPARXI TAKES HIS SHIRT BACK.
Grams
"No, sorry you aren't getting that back, I think the guy with the moneybag is about to get arrested and this is the next best thing, dear."

WE FIGHT FOR THIS SHIRT ON THE GROUND FUCK YOU ITS GRANDMA'S NOW.
Metaparxi Worker
"YOU'RE GOING TO RIP IT PLEASE DO YOU KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE WORK SHIRTS ARE!"
Willow
Willow searches the office!
Adelynn
2024-12-13 12:44:49
Adelynn Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-13 12:45:07
Willow finds... The aftik hiding in the office. "WAIT PLEASE! YOU'VE ALREADY TAKEN MY LUNCH! I DONT!!! TASTE WELL!!"
Willow rolls a 20 sided die. A 2 is rolled.

WILLOW WALKS INTO A TRAP. THE RIOT POLICE ARE SUMMONED.

Jeffrey Riot
"HANDS UP WHERE WE CAN SEE THEM, HOG BREATH!!!!!!!"
Christopher Riot
"You got 10 seconds till we use the tear gas!"
Willow
Willow pulls out her ultimate move…….. She lays on her back and wags her tail!!!
Willow rolls a 20 sided die. A 16 is rolled.
Jeffrey Riot
"AWWWWW CUTEEEE."
Christopher Riot
"Petting mode activated."

The riot police are petting willow!

Adelynn
The aftik hides behind the office table, peaking her head out and watching the chaos, confused as the riot police pet the pig. She has no idea what to say.
Grams rolls a 20 sided die. A 13 is rolled.
2024-12-13 12:51:07
Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-13 12:52:16

GRANDMA HAS THE SHIRT. SHE READS THE NAME TAG ON THE SHIRT IN THE SCUFFLE.

THE NAMETAG SAYS "BINKBONK."

Fortuna rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +5. A 19 is rolled.
Kratos
2024-12-13 12:53:43
Kratos Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-13 12:54:21
Announcer is arrested! But not before filling his bag with cash...

"One down, just a few more to go."
Willow
2024-12-13 12:54:53
Willow Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-13 12:56:16
Willow sneakily looks around the room while the riot police are distracted!!! Please please please!!!!
Willow rolls a 20 sided die. A 16 is rolled.

Willow sees a golden crab scuttling away from the crime scene!

It has 10 funny bucks in its claws!

IT'S A CRIMINAL TOO!

Grams
SHE MAKES ANOTHER MAD DASH, THIS TIME WITHOUT THE OFFICE WORKER, THEY ARE DEAD WEIGHT.
Adelynn
The aftik tries to grab a broom and shoo away the pig. "Away! AWAY!"
Adelynn rolls a 20 sided die. An 11 is rolled.

Willow is no longer distracting the riot police!

Grams
THE CRAB!!! GET THE CRAB!!!!!!
Metaparxi Worker
The parxi attempts to pick up the crab. Help the police.
Willow
WILLOW TRIES TO CONVINCE THE CRAB TO JOIN THEM!!
Metaparxi Worker rolls a 20 sided die. A 7 is rolled.

You fail to grab the crab!

Announcer
"Do you perhaps have any more comfortable handcuffs? These ones are biting at my wrists."
Kratos
Kratos stands behind grandma. "Alright, put your hands behind your back."
Jeffrey Riot
"SHOULD WE LAUGH GAS THEM?"
Grams
WE GOTTA.
Grams
GET THAT.
Grams
CRAB.
Christopher Riot
"There are civilians in here."
Jeffrey Riot
"AND? THERE ARE MORE CRIMINALS."
Christopher Riot
"Understood."
Adelynn
"JUST DONT ARREST US INNOCENTS! PLEASE!!"
Announcer
"It'd seem pretty fair to me."

LAUGH GAS IS BEING ACTIVATED!!!!

Christopher Riot rolls a 20 sided die. A 4 is rolled.

But... it MALFUCTIONS.

Christopher Riot
"Where's the funny juice?"
Jeffrey Riot
"GIVE ME A MOMENT THIS HAPPENS SOMETIMES."

Kratos attempts to arrest grandma!

Kratos rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +5. A 9 is rolled.
Grams
2024-12-13 13:14:03
Grams Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-13 13:14:11
"Oh, sure dear, just give me a moment to-"

GRANDMA ACTS LIKE SHE'S GOING TO GET GRABBED AND THEN SPRINTS!!! FUCK YOU THERAPY!!!!!

GRANDMA IS ABLE TO GET AWAY FROM THE CUFFS BUT NOT KRATOS.

BUT.....

2024-12-13 13:15:47
Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-13 13:16:42
Kratos is distracted and hops over to Announcer.

"Let me get you better cuffs."
Announcer
"Thanks officer. Much better."
2024-12-13 13:16:06
Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-13 13:19:59

Announcers cuffs are replaced by fuzzy cuffs.

Metaparxi Worker
The parxi attempts to pick up the crab. THIS IS JUST TO SPITE THE CRIMINALS.
Metaparxi Worker rolls a 20 sided die. A 5 is rolled.
2024-12-13 13:21:03
Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-13 13:21:13

The crab steals the metaparxi's paycheck!

Willow
2024-12-13 13:21:29
Willow Profile
Posted by ID #195
Last edit: 2025-11-17 21:08:59
WILLOW IS A CRIMINAL!!! Willow tries to grab the crab with her… hooves?
Willow rolls a 20 sided die. A 20 is rolled.

WILLOW GRABS THE CRAB.

Grams rolls a 20 sided die. An 18 is rolled.
None
2024-12-13 13:24:08
None Profile
Posted by ID #2
Last edit: 2025-11-17 21:16:19

GRANDMA RUNS OUT WHILE EVERYONE IS DISTRACTED.

Grams
GRANDMA GOT THE FUCKIGN SHIRT WE'RE IN!!! WE'RE IN!!!!!!!!!!!!
Metaparxi Worker
"PLEASE. I NEED MY PAYCHECK GIVE IT BACK."
Adelynn
"Wait!! I'll try to help you Parxi! Oh-... oh, the pig has it-"
Jeffrey Riot
"DEPLOYING FUNNY GAS!!!!"
Jeffrey Riot rolls a 20 sided die. A 4 is rolled.

It.....fails again.

Christopher Riot
"Are you ok."
Jeffrey Riot
"SHUT UP I CAN DO THIS."
Willow
WILLOW SPRINTS OUT AS WELL!!
Willow rolls a 20 sided die. A 2 is rolled.

WILLOW TRIPS AND DROPS THE CRAB.

THE CRAB ATTEMPTS TO RUN AWAY WITH THE PAYCHECK!!!

Fortuna rolls a 20 sided die. A 3 is rolled.
2024-12-13 13:30:13
Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-13 13:32:34

THE CRAB TRIPS AND DROPS THE PAYCHECK.

THE PAYCHECK ATTEMPTS TO RUN AWAY.

Fortuna rolls a 20 sided die. A 15 is rolled.

THE PAYCHECK HAS ESCAPED.

Metaparxi Worker
2024-12-13 13:31:45
Metaparxi Worker Profile
Posted by ID #195
Last edit: 2025-11-17 21:22:56
THE METAPARXI TRIES TO GRAB THE CRAB.
Adelynn
Adelynn tries to catch the crab!
Willow
THIS CRAB IS NOT ESCAPING WILLOW!!! SHE TRIES TO GRAB THE CRAB.
Grams
NEVERMIND NO PIG LEFT BEHIND, SHE'S RUNNING BACK IN AND PICKING THE PIG UP AFTER SHE ATTEMPTS TO TRY TO GET THE CRAB AGAIN.
Metaparxi Worker rolls a 20 sided die. A 1 is rolled.

THE METAPARXI SMASHES THE CRAB.

IT HAS SHATTERED.


Metaparxi Worker
"Oh."
Announcer
"Though I do have a question, what material are these cuffs made out of? Is there anything that might cause any allergies in them? Just in case."
Adelynn
"............."
Circe
Circe looks up from the teller section, she has a bag of money.

("Rule one of being a criminal, always bring a distraction, heehee!")
Metaparxi Worker
He's. Just going to leave. Now. He's lost enough today.
Christopher Riot
"Do you want to try gassing them now, man?"
Jeffrey Riot
"I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT TO TRY. I FEEL LIKE I'LL JUST FAIL AGAIN."
Christopher Riot
"I believe in you."
Announcer
"I don't."
Jeffrey Riot
2024-12-13 13:43:36
Jeffrey Riot Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-13 13:44:40
"OK....."
Adelynn
"PLEASE TRY!!! THEY'LL GET AWAY AGAIN!!"
Jeffrey Riot rolls a 20 sided die. A 1 is rolled.
Jeffrey Riot
HE....JUST....UH.....
Christopher Riot
"It's ok man....."
Jeffrey Riot
"NO IT'S NOT!!!!"

THE FUN POLICE RUNS AWAY OUT OF EMBRASSMENT.

Adelynn
"LET ME TRY! WHICH THING DO I PULL?"
Metaparxi Worker
The "hostage" is just slowly walking away now. Without his shirt. Or his paycheck. What a miserable day.
Grams
GRANDMA IS WAITING IN THE ENTRANCE BECAUSE QUITE FRANKLY NOTHING IS FUCKING WORKING OUT AND I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO RUN IN OR JUST FUCKING LEAVE ANYMORE MAYBE WE LIKE, CHEER THE GLUIGN BACK TOGETHER THE CRAB MIRACLE ROLL WITH THE DOG I FORGOT I HAD?? THIS IS A DOG EVENT RIGHT.
WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING ANYMORE.
CLOWN CRIMES.

Willow needs a 19 or higher to put the crab back together.

Willow rolls a 20 sided die. An 18 is rolled.

WILLOW FAILS BY 1 NUMBER.

THE CRAB ASCENDS TO CRAB HEAVEN.

Kratos
"I'm just going to......"
Willow
WILLOW STARTS SOBBING.
Kratos rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +5. A 10 is rolled.
Kratos
Willow is arrested.

"Next up....."
Willow
WILLOW SOBS EVEN HARDER.
Grams
FUCK IT SHE'S PUTTING THE SHIRT ON KRATOS' HEAD AND TRYING TO RESCUE WILLOW, SHE DOESN'T BOTHER TRYING TO GET RID OF THE HANDCUFFS.
Adelynn
"Or!!! That works too!!"
Kratos rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +5. A 12 is rolled.

Grandma is arrested.

Grams
FUCK.
Metaparxi Worker
"Can I please have my shirt back now."
Kratos
"Is that all the criminals, citizens?"
Willow
Willow doesn't feel….. That good……….
Adelynn
("...I am so sorry for your co-worker, kratos.")
Circe
Circe is tiptoeing out.

("Just need to.....")
2024-12-13 14:16:01
Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-13 14:16:34

"Gun?"

Adelynn
"That.... uh... Should be it??" Adelynn looks around.
Willow
Willow THROWS UP ON KRATOS????
Willow rolls a 20 sided die. A 20 is rolled.
2024-12-13 14:17:35
Profile
Posted by ID #2
Last edit: 2025-11-17 21:47:08

IT WAS SO ACIDIC IT MELTED THE CUFFS AWAY

Adelynn
"BY THE SKY! EUGH!"
Kratos
".................................................................................."
Metaparxi Worker
"I. Am I having a fever dream."
Kratos
Kratos uncuffs willow.

"I guess this was too stressful, sorry."
Metaparxi Worker
"WHY ARE YOU LETTING THE CRIMINAL GO."
Grams
"...Honestly I think this is all taking more than a couple years off my remaining lifespan. I think I need a walk."
Announcer
"Same."
Willow
"Oink oink." It's ok Mr. Kratos..
Circe
Circe attempts to walk out with a comically big sack of money.
Circe rolls a 20 sided die. A 7 is rolled.

She steps on a clown horn.

Kratos
"................................................................"
Circe
".........................................................."
Announcer
"Ah, so there's the ring leader of this operation."
Announcer
"I was wondering where you went."
Circe
"OH COME ON I WAS GOING TO SAY I'M JUST TAKING OUT MY LIFE SAVING'S OFFICER!!!!!!"
Grams
"Circe always was an economically wise individual."
Adelynn
2024-12-13 14:25:54
Adelynn Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-13 14:26:04
"YOU NEVER MADE A WITHDRAWAL SIR! THAT IS STOLEN MONEY!"
Announcer
"I will testify against Circe in court in exchange for immunity."
Metaparxi Worker
Binkbonk attempts some retrieval of this horrible day. Can he like. Look for his paycheck or something. He has a mortgage, man.
Grams
"Oh good idea! I will testify against that shirtless metaparxi in court in exchange for immunity."

I'M SORRY BUT YOUR PAYCHECK PASSED AN ESCAPE ROLL YOU'RE NOT GETTING IT BACK.

SO SORRY BINKBONK.

Circe
"JERKS I WAS GOING TO BOND YOU ALL OUT OF JAIL!!!!"
Kratos
Kratos attempts to arrest Circe!
Kratos rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +5. An 8 is rolled.
2024-12-13 14:29:48
Profile
Posted by ID #195
Last edit: 2025-11-17 21:47:22

HE FAILS. THIS IS LITERALLY HIS JOB.

Circe
"I'LL FUCK THE POLICE!!!!"

CIRCE ATTEMPTS TO ESCAPE!
Circe rolls a 20 sided die. A 19 is rolled.

SHE ZOOMS OUT OF THERE LIKE SOME SORT OF CARTOON CHARACTER WITH HER LOOT.

Willow
Willow takes the crab remains and tries to escape too!!
Willow rolls a 20 sided die. A 9 is rolled.

Willow just sniffs the crab....

Adelynn
"........................"
Metaparxi Worker
2024-12-13 14:33:33
Metaparxi Worker Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-13 14:33:40
Where's his shirt? Can he have his shirt back at least?
Announcer
"....I don't wanna be in the fuzzy cuffs anymore."
Grams
"Hey Kratos, this shirtless metaparxi is making me uncomfortable and these cuffs ache a good bit, could you ignore the pig and get this man away from my shirt? Could offer you some candy, it's lemon flavored."
Adelynn
(".............this is going to be so much paperwork for corporate.")
Metaparxi Worker
"THAT'S MY SHIRT. YOU STOLE IT FROM ME."
Adelynn
"Grandma, the least you can do is give him back his shirt."
Grams
"This is exactly what I'm talking about. I think the stress is getting to its head and making it delusional!"
Announcer
"Clearly."
Metaparxi Worker
"I just want. My shirt back. Please. You already made me lose my entire paycheck."
Announcer
"I think your paycheck lost itself there, pal."
Kratos
"I just want to make it clear that....."
Kratos
2024-12-13 14:36:18
Kratos Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-13 14:36:32
"Nevermind I'm taking everyone to jail."

WILLOW ESCAPES. ALL THE CRIMINALS GO TO JAIL.
Metaparxi Worker
DID THEY GIVE HIM HIS SHIRT BACK.
Grams
"I think that 'Fuck the Police' comment hit a little too close to home. I'm sorry Kratos."
Adelynn
"I'll try to pay for your new shirt if I have to, Parxi."
Kratos
"........................................"
Metaparxi Worker
The grandma's in handcuffs. The parxi kinda just. Takes his shirt back.
Grams
BEING IN HANDCUFFS DOESN'T STOP ME FROM HANGING ON TO DEAR LIFE, THIS SHIRT IS MINE, I'M TAKING IT TO THERAPY.
Kratos
Kratos rubs his forhead.

"We're done here."
GRANDMA STILL HAS THE SHIRT.
No one is typing.
Back
Next