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Home > Expos > Event 3 > Page 25
CHEAP STAKES FOR CHEAPSKATES▼
CHEAP STAKES FOR CHEAPSKATES
[Medieval Fantasy Tavern | D&D Fantasy Music]
2024-12-12 22:37:24
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Posted by ID #3
Last edit: 2024-12-12 22:40:45

The clowns around town appear to be less nervous as you and your party walk through the streets. You've all been set on a quest by a mime, which....made the quest hard to understand, but you need to bring back some meat to the hotel, as they don't have enough for today's dinner meal for everyone.

You and your team find the butcher shop. Within you find thick cuts of clown meat, funny bones, and laughing elbows.
In a tank next to the butcher's table, is a single crab.


2024-12-12 22:41:54
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Posted by ID #3
Last edit: 2024-12-13 03:47:41

And, just behind the butcher, a wonderfully decorated snakevine. Awaiting its demise.

Grams
"Anyways, as I was saying, that dear Kratos chump let me off with just some community service after all that! So here I am, doing grunt work for a mime, all because I assumed the planet in the lawless sector would not have laws. Anyone got any cash for that meat we need by the way? I left all of mine in prison."
Hirjo
"..."
Hirjo surveyed the meat. The Mime had seen where Nevada had went off to earlier. Time was of the essence, she could be going to jail right now. Or sooner.
Kaurl (Hirjo's Numbskull) was looking at the snakevine.
Starlis
"Hmm...that snakevine almost looks too darling to be coldcuts, don't you think?" Starlis says, looking over the meat for a good cut.
Miss Planty
2024-12-12 22:53:21
Miss Planty Profile
Posted by ID #99
Last edit: 2025-11-18 01:14:04
Miss Planty is holding her tailmic Mr.Onions, feeding him morsels of meat.
"Miss Grandma broke."
Grams
"...Quite so, yes. Back's broke too to boot."
Grams
"Anyways we were here for snakevine meat, were we not? My memory's failing me so often nowadays..."
Pennyelope
The butcher looks up from his work.

"Any meat is good. The bugger is invasive anyway, doing the world a favor by eatin' the thin'."
X-444
"That makes sense to me! ^.^"
Grams
"Oh, I did not think I'd meet such a like minded individual here of all places! Really, the weak and surviving are not things that go together, yes, yes. Say, what's the price of some of that snakevine meat you're about to chop?"
Hirjo
"Right. We'll get that cut then" Hirjo points to a cut of meat in the case he feels is the right one as he pulls out his card.
Pennyelope
"Hmmmm snakevine is tough. I'm figurin' for about 500p for a slab."

The zanni takes Hirjo's card and swipes it.
Pennyelope rolls a 20 sided die. A 12 is rolled.
Pennyelope
2024-12-13 02:41:54
Pennyelope Profile
Posted by ID #2
Last edit: 2025-11-18 01:22:05
The card works. "Enjoy your clown meat."
Hirjo
2024-12-13 02:43:18
Hirjo Profile
Posted by ID #3
Last edit: 2025-11-18 01:18:16
Hirjo takes the meat, but Kaurl the party-skull starts gently tugging on his hand and pointing to the snake.
Starlis
Starlis searches over the case for something a bit less...funny, but quality, clowns probably price the less...clowny stuff differently.
Starlis rolls a 20 sided die. A 14 is rolled.

Starlis finds a nice batch of steaks for cheap!

Grams
"Was that the meat we were supposed to get? Could've sworn we needed some snakevine for supper... Ah well."
Miss Planty
Miss Planty grabs half a slice to feed again to Mr.Onions.

"Happy."
Pennyelope
"If you want snakevine I'll prep it for yous all."

The zanni grabs the snakevine and places it on the cutting board.
Hirjo
The numbskull start tugging more urgently.

"Hm?" Hirjo turns to the numbskull.
Hirjo
"How much for the snakevine, alive?"
Pennyelope
"Hmmmm it bein' alive would save me a lot of work. 3000p for the whole thin'."
Grams
"Hm... Say, about that snakevine, poor thing seems half scared to death, all laying there motionless, waiting to die, surely that'd drop the quality of it's meat no? Whaddaya say to a discount, hm? Surely you'd have a hard time selling its meat at this rate."
Starlis
Starlis looks over her phone to see if she can connect to her wallet, at least to see how much she has.
Starlis rolls a 20 sided die. A 19 is rolled.

You can connect to your wallet, there's enough to pay for it........but surely you should just haggle it down.

Grams
Grams motions to the others to wait a bit, she's got this.

"I'll even throw in some of this candy I've got in my pocket to well, heh, sweeten the deal. Tastes quite good if I say so myself"
Pennyelope
2024-12-13 02:52:22
Pennyelope Profile
Posted by ID #3
Last edit: 2024-12-13 03:48:40
"Hmmmmmm no, I may be a zanni but I ain't no fool. Come over and touch this baby, she's got a fight in her."
Miss Planty
Miss Planty searches for money around the pub to see if there's any pennies anyone dropped.
Miss Planty rolls a 20 sided die. A 5 is rolled.

Sadly.....all Miss Planty finds are bacon strips.....

X-444
"I Would Like To Touch It, yes. ^.^"
Pennyelope
"Well gather around, you'll see I'm no liar! Frankly I should be charging more for this meat."
Grams
Does it have some fight in it left? Surely, poor thing's waiting there to die all sad and alone, no? Grams touches the baby to confirm.
Grams rolls a 20 sided die. A 6 is rolled.
Pennyelope
The baby rolls around a little bit but it's not that much of a fighter.

"Hey hey, she's just a little shy! I'll get her fightin'!"
Miss Planty
Miss Planty collects the Bacon strips. She holds them up for the shopkeep to see if he accepts these.

"Money."
Pennyelope
"HEY! PUT THOSE BACON STRIPS BACK WHERE YOU GOT THEM! Those are for the blorts."
Grams
"...If you say so. Probably's wise to mention that stress could lower the quality of the meat too. Try not to get it too riled up if you could, hm?"
X-444
X-444 carefully pokes the snakevine as well, recoiling their arm as soon as they make contact, giggling.
Hirjo
Hirjo stares at the numbskull, and the numbskull stares back, pleading.

"Fine."
Hirjo
This was definitely coming out of his paycheck, but perhaps he could get that one co-worker to split the bill, but first...

"I will touch it," Hirjo tries to covertly nerve-pinch the snake.

Everyone touches the snakevine.

Fortuna rolls a 20 sided die. A 5 is rolled.

It still sucks.....

Starlis
"This is almost kind of sad."
Grams
"By the way, seeing as this snakevine's of yours already half dead, what's that little crab's cost over there, hm? I've been aching for some taste of home lately you see..."
Pennyelope
"Hmmmp!!! You all have her stressed! But fine. I'll lower the price to 2000p, take it or leave it!"
Pennyelope
"Oh that crab is a rarity, It's for display to show you the huntin' skills of this fella right here!"

The zanni points to himself.
Hirjo
2024-12-13 03:01:29
Hirjo Profile
Posted by ID #3
Last edit: 2024-12-13 03:02:12
"Yep, it was a tough fight, but I managed."

He flexes.
Hirjo
"I will take the snake."
Miss Planty
Miss Planty goes with Onions to inspect the crab to see if there's anything cool.
Starlis
"I'll help you pay for the crab, and those steaks over there as well."
Pennyelope
"Fine, let me just swipe your card."
Hirjo rolls a 20 sided die. A 10 is rolled.
Pennyelope
Hirjo had just enough money to pay. The snake is put into a bag and handed over.

"Hey hey! None of you got anythin' worth sellin' a crab for. Get out of here with that."
Starlis
"But yes may I buy those steaks?"
Grams
"The ones in the far back please! Those are good quality!"
Pennyelope
"Tsk, you really want me to go to the far back to get you some steaks? The ones in the front are good stuff! Made of clown cows, my best cuts are in the front!"
Grams
"Then surely there'd be nothing wrong with us buying the ones from the back no? I mean, if they're so low quality and all."
Hirjo
Hirjo pulls out the snake and holds it gently, trying to comfort the thing, and get it acclimated to one of it's new owners.
As best he could.

"We are a bit low on funds"
Grams
"As my dear friend here says, we're running a little low, so we're thinking that maybe some lower quality stuff isn't so bad once in a while..."
Pennyelope
"Oh let me guess, you want cheap stakes you cheapskates'! Fine, I'll get your cuts!"

The zanni heads into the backroom.

You have one move before he comes back.

X-444
"……"
Grams
"Cheap stakes for cheapskates am I right ladies and gentlemen? We're stealing the crab."
Starlis
Starlis rubs her forehead. "Why is it always..."
Hirjo
Hirjo lays down, getting into the knocked-out-cold position.

"Good luck with that. I'll meet you at the hotel."
Starlis
Starlis settles down with Hijiro, beside a rest is good enough for a moment.
Grams
2024-12-13 03:10:34
Grams Profile
Posted by ID #3
Last edit: 2025-11-18 01:21:44
"Oh please, the man was about to rob us blind with that low quality snakevine, man deserves it. You don't want the crab, fine, I'm getting it."

GRAMS TAKES THE CRABS AND STARTS RUNNING.
Grams rolls a 20 sided die. A 16 is rolled.
2024-12-13 03:33:50
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Posted by ID #3
Last edit: 2024-12-13 03:33:58

Grams has the crab out of the tank!
She attempts to run away!

Grams rolls a 20 sided die. An 11 is rolled.

Grams makes it out the door!

Grams
"OLD LEGS AIN'T FAILING ME NOW!"
Hirjo
Hirjo looks at Starlis to see if they are doing it right. This isn't the first time he's had to fake a fight.
Miss Planty
Miss planty wobbles near Hirjo to pretend to give him CPR.
Starlis
It's hard to tell the expression of Starlis, though she does awkwardly wedge herself against the counter like she got shoved down.
Pennyelope
The zanni comes back with the steaks.

"WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?!?! WHERE'S MY CRAB??!??! I WAS IN THE BACK FOR GOD LOVIN' 2 MINUTES!!!"
X-444
"I've got no clue, sir. There is something in my face! ^.^"
Miss Planty
"Cprrrr."
Hirjo
2024-12-13 03:38:48
Hirjo Profile
Posted by ID #3
Last edit: 2024-12-13 03:38:59
Kaurl (the party-skull) "wakes up" Hirjo, who sits up.

"Uuughh, what happened?"
Miss Planty
"Yay."
Pennyelope
"Do any of you people know what happened?!? I didn't even get a photo with the thin'!"
X-444
"I wonder where that poor old lady went … I hope whoever took the crab did not hurt her. ^.^"
Starlis
Starlis rubs her head, before slowly rising back up.
Pennyelope
"And they kidnapped an old lady!?!?!"
Miss Planty
"Grandma dead."
Hirjo
"They were quick. I only heard them come in before they took me down."
X-444
"Tragedy has struck here today. ^.^"
Pennyelope
"That's it! I don't normally do this but I'm callin' the cops. Gettin' in a fight, stealin' my crab, fine! But kidnappin' old ladies, that's where I draw the line."

You and your crew are forced to give a police report when the Kratos units come by. The Kratos units feel the story doesn't add up, but they decide to investigate. The butcher says he's so sorry your friend got kidnapped, and hopes it wasn't a jester.

You all escape unharmed.

===EXPEDITION SUCCESS===
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