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Home > Expos > Event 10 > Page 30
CLEAN UP CREW▼
CLEAN UP CREW
[Stardew Valley - Spring (Wild Horseradish Jam)]
Petra Hortus
"Hedges lookin' good, Urizel. Make sure to keep 'em even!"
Urizel Trist
2025-10-12 15:25:58
Urizel Trist Profile
Posted by ID #103
Last edit: 2025-11-16 21:37:55
"Of course, can't ever half ass it in this place." Urizel isn't feeling very cheery recently, but still will never lower deir standard of work.
Petra Hortus
"Durk, that section's clean, you and the Slammer can help the goat clear the grime off the east walls."
Petra Hortus
"Dug up all the pipes around the fountain. Flo, what's the damage? Reinsulation or total replacement?"
Flo
"Reinsulation is fine. There was also a blockage in the drainage pipe closest to the entrance, but it should be easy to clean up."
Flo
"Oh, wait, actually." She drops a length of piping onto the ground. "This one sprung a hole. It's small but it could be a problem later."
Petra Hortus
2025-10-12 15:33:56
Petra Hortus Profile
Posted by ID #5
Last edit: 2025-10-12 15:36:09
"It's always something. Still, looks like we're on solid pace as long as you can catch these things as we go. We'll have to get gather a bit of extra flora for the west garden entrance, but I don't forsee any notable roadblocks."
Skeleton King
"Castellan Edger, where did you get such a competent gardener for once? I swear, usually the ones we hire are all liars who sniffle and weep while watching the plants die in such low light conditions."
Edger Drakken
"Duchess Lorelei found one advertised online."
Duchess Lorelei
"Yeah! I don't know why this freak had the SEO on the ad tuned into this planet, but it was basically non stop ads for this place!"
Skeleton King
The Mad Knight stares at Duchess Lorelei, slowly growing unsettled by her appearance everywhere. It's as if no one but him noticed something was amiss. "I see. Of course, the....Duchess assisted you."
Flo
Flo waved. "Oh, hey Lorelei!" She then immediately got back to work.
Turdurky
2025-10-12 15:44:16
Turdurky Profile
Posted by ID #103
Last edit: 2025-11-16 21:38:49
The large smeeper is struggling to pick up and rearrange the jailuries onto newly cleaned plinths.

"H-Howdy."
Urizel Trist
Urizel stares at the castellan and knight for a moment, before quickly returning to deir work. Deir cuts more aggressive then they were beforehand.
Skeleton King
The Mad Knight ignored the invasive outsider, instead poking at the plants. "You are doing good work here, gardener."
Skeleton King
"But is there any reason why you've planted this burning bush here?"
Skeleton King
"It is very pleasing to look at, but vampwelfs don't actually like fire very much, at least not near their castles. It burns their eyes."
Petra Hortus
"Well, y'know, every garden can use a little bit of edge to-"
Petra Hortus
2025-10-12 15:48:57
Petra Hortus Profile
Posted by ID #5
Last edit: 2025-10-12 15:50:50
"Oh, that's not mine. Gravy," she calls to the goat, "Hit this for me real quick?"

Petra orders Gravyon to spray water at the burning bush.
Petra Hortus rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +10. A 22 is rolled.

Gravyon uses its internal meat pumps to blast the bush with water.

Not only is the bush put out, but the troublemaker who set it on fire is blasted out. It flaps across the floor, spitting small dying streams of fire towards the group.

Skeleton King
2025-10-12 15:55:31
Skeleton King Profile
Posted by ID #2
Last edit: 2025-10-12 15:56:18
"Your garden is full of pests, gardener!"
Edger Drakken
"It's a single queenzabeth, I struggle to call it "full of pests" Mad Knight."
Petra Hortus
"What kind of troublemaker do we have here?"
Petra Hortus
Petra goes to pick the firey bat up by the scruff.

"You get a lot of fire based fauna looking to set gardens ablaze around here?"
Queenzabeth
The queenzabeth opens its wings and screeches in an attempt to intimidate Petra.
Queenzabeth rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of -5. A 4 is rolled.
Queenzabeth
Sadly it fails. This would have been easier if it were more than two foot tall.
Turdurky
"Oh look at the lil' thing. So purty. I'm sure it didn't mean any harm."
Petra Hortus
"It's almost cute."
Skeleton King
"It attempted to set estate of Castle Drakken on fire!"
Skeleton King
"I say we put it to death!"
Urizel Trist
2025-10-12 16:01:00
Urizel Trist Profile
Posted by ID #99
Last edit: 2025-10-12 16:05:27
"I got some mighty fine shears over here if we are gonna do this." Urizel pokes up at the thought of getting some anger out.
Flo
"No, it attempted to set a patch of petunias on fire."
Turdurky
"Nuthin that can't be buffed out."

Turdurky picks up his plushkeki, soaks up some of the goat-water, and attempts to scrub out any scorch marks along the path.
Skeleton King
"Those AREN'T PETUNIAS. Those are Night'n'Gale flowers! Petunias would wither in days on this planet!"
Edger Drakken
"When did you learn about plants, Mad Knight?"
Skeleton King
"I have hobbies."
Skeleton King
"LIKE TRYING TO FIND OUT WHICH FLOWERS TO IMPRESS YOUR WIFE WITH!"
Edger Drakken
"Can you PLEASE try and find someone, ANYONE else to attempt to romance other than a FAITHFULLY married woman?"
Skeleton King
"She's nice to me."
Edger Drakken
"Maybe more people would be nice to you if you weren't a bastard!"
Flo
"Are uh. Should we be here for this?"
Petra Hortus
"Adjacency to internal disputes is just a natural part of contract work."
Petra Hortus
Petra holds the bat under her arm like a football.
"Yeah, there's a lot of specific conditions for the plantlife here. Actually, I was building a canopy over by that entrance over there, to give a little bit more consistent shade by it. Lot of good plants that could be gathered to increase the biodiversity a bit that would be well suited to those lighting conditions. Increase the overall health of the garden."
Skeleton King
"A canopy? Over there? No no, you have to account for that when Dawn comes, that the sun rises from over there, and sets over there! The wizard tower thus will block out all the light in this area. It's a dead zone that needs the hardest of plants, not more shade!"
Skeleton King
"If you go raid the Dawn Knight gardens, they have a special type of flower that actually glows quite brightly at night. They use it instead of candles. I think that would look better here."
Edger Drakken
"When did you become an expert at where the shadows cast in the landscape?"
Skeleton King
"One must know where the shadows lay so he can plan where is the best place to propose to your wife."
Petra Hortus
"It ain't my first time encountering the sun, pal. I've already considered the bioluminescent plants and they fit far better by the other entrances. The angle of the shadows against that garden entrance specifically allows for the greatest additional healthy plant variety without disrupting the natural needs of the plants surrounding."
Skeleton King
"What? No. Absolutely not! I'm positive these things don't take up that much nutrients in the soil! Look how small these plants are, how could they possibly need much more than what they have?"
Edger Drakken
"It seems like someone knows better than you at your little hobby."
Petra Hortus
"You may consider that these plants might not be so small if there were more nutrients to go around."
Flo
"Ooh, yeah, do you have any good fertilizer?"
Skeleton King
"Well......maybe they look better small! The color is more condensed in their flowers that way!" The Mad Knight fumes.
Flo
"Sounds to me like a budget issue. If this garden is your passion project, how much resources are going into it?"
Turdurky
"Surely, the house can afford bigger, more impressive flora?"
Skeleton King
"I bet you're faking your knowledge on the flora of this land........."
Skeleton King
"Tell me which flower is most beloved by the Drakkens?"
Petra Hortus
"You wanna call me fake again? You'd think if you were so adamant about the importance of the Red Thorned Dusk-Lily, you'd have made sure yourself that there were more around."
Skeleton King
"Shit!" The Mad Knight looks away, annoyed by the gardener's knowledge.
Skeleton King
"I see why you advertised to such an odd location. You have an affinity towards these plants, don't you?"
Petra Hortus
"I do well in harsh environments. I was just about to head with my crew to the woods to help gather the additional plants we need to help this garden thrive. You may want to stay out of the way of the expert," Petra gloated. She was clearly offering a challenge.
Skeleton King
The Knight grabs Edger. "Castellan Edger, this thing just challenged me to go to the fey woods."
Skeleton King
2025-10-12 16:23:44
Skeleton King Profile
Posted by ID #2
Last edit: 2025-10-12 16:28:24
"Is this some sort of crude attempt at flirtation?"
Edger Drakken
"No! I think she thinks you're an IDIOT, and so do I!"
Skeleton King
"AHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHA!!!"
Skeleton King
"THEN THERE IS NO ROMANTIC TENSION HERE. I ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE! I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE ESCORTED MANY WOMEN INTO THE FEY WOODS!"
Skeleton King
"Like, to protect them from fey."
Skeleton King
"You may have MASTERED the common plants of this land, but I have mastered the flora of the fey woods! Name your challenge to me!"
Petra Hortus
"The name of the game is variety. Grasses, flowers, and even a few saplings would be good. But I'm sure you knew that. Two hours should be plenty."
Petra Hortus
"And you better not just clear out a section of woods. We care about sustainability here!!"
Skeleton King
2025-10-12 16:34:52
Skeleton King Profile
Posted by ID #103
Last edit: 2025-11-16 21:40:36
"If you clear out an area, it will be fine. The fey will just plant it back. Anyway, I take only one person with me to give you, the outsider, the advantage. I will take Castellan Edger!"
Edger Drakken
"I am not going with you into the fey woods. The fey would rip me apart."
Skeleton King
"You are virgin women, you will do fine in there."
Edger Drakken
"First off, I am a man, second off, I am not a virgin. I have literally three children!"
Skeleton King
"Virgin births."
Skeleton King
"Rare but spectacular events."
Edger Drakken
"THREE TIMES?"
Skeleton King
"Truly you are powerful in these ways and these ways alone."
Edger Drakken
"You know what, the more I speak to you, the more I think dying in the fey woods would be better than arguing with you in public. I'm just going to go with you. Just promise me you will shut your mouth."
Skeleton King
"Let it be known Edger Drakken asks this of me because I speak the truth."
Petra Hortus
"Alright, crew. Somebody grab a wheelbarrow, we're off on a little field trip."
Urizel Trist
"Alrighty boss, let's show that knight a proper field!" Urizel rushes to the wheelbarrow, feeling better after seeing Skeleton king be knocked down a peg.
Flo
"Let's do this!"
Turdurky
"Easy peasy!"
Petra Hortus rolls a 20 sided die. An 8 is rolled.
The group treks around the edges of the fey woods, worried to go in quite yet. They find a few uncommon wildflowers, but not much else.
Petra Hortus
"Not impressive, but still good to have. Make sure you get the whole roots. We're bringin' dirt with us."
Flo
“Hmm, these can probably be used for a nice arrangement, but I doubt it’ll have much coverage.”
Urizel Trist
"It's the start of the round, we'll score big near the end for sure."
Petra Hortus rolls a 20 sided die. A 5 is rolled.
The group finds a wonderfully rare flower and moss deeper into the woods, but when they try to pick, it growls at them!

A creature jumps out of the floor and sprints away, taking the rare flowers with it!

Flo
2025-10-12 16:55:15
Flo Profile
Posted by ID #29
Last edit: 2025-10-12 17:26:27
“Hey, wait. Does that sword seem like. Important, to anyone else?”
Urizel Trist
"Maybe we risk going further in boss? Seems like all we are getting is duds."
Petra Hortus
"Of course! The flowers on that creature assure we're on the right track. We just have to find what direction it came from before getting here."
Petra Hortus
Petra is completely unconcerned about the sword.
Petra Hortus rolls a 20 sided die. A 20 is rolled.
The group walks opposite of the direction the flower-carrying beast ran. Just as Petra Hortus guessed, there it was, Maiden Blooms. A highly loved flower on the planet. It takes an expert to grow them, which Petra Hortus has proven she is.
Urizel Trist
"This is gonna blow the socks off whatever that blowhard managed to scrounge up!"
Petra Hortus
"Jackpot! A well cared for garden of these will help our garden's health, smell great, and provide a light, lovely ambient glow. S'king is gonna be furious."
Turdurky
"By golly, there she is!"
Petra Hortus
"Clear some space in the wheelbarrow, I'll prep them for the move."
Skeleton King rolls a 20 sided die. A 2 is rolled.
The Mad Knight proudly tries to show Edger the plant he has found. Edger refuses to get near it.
Skeleton King
2025-10-12 17:06:52
Skeleton King Profile
Posted by ID #2
Last edit: 2025-10-14 13:48:40
"What are you scared about, little maiden? I don't know what species this is but it certainly has to be something quite amazing!"
Edger Drakken
Edger slowly backs away, saying nothing. He points up.
Skeleton King
"????????"
2025-10-12 17:08:14
Profile
Posted by ID #2
Last edit: 2025-10-12 17:08:26

.............................

Skeleton King
"Sorry....I....thought you were a plant...." Edger and the knight escape the area.
Skeleton King rolls a 20 sided die. A 16 is rolled.
Later they come across a small blooming sapling. Despite it being so small it is already attempting to fruit.
Skeleton King
"THIS IS A RARE TREE OF WHORES!"
Skeleton King
"It's called that way because it fruits even in its first few months."
Skeleton King
"It's quite a useful adaptation and the fruits are quite tasty. You must remove the seeds though."
Skeleton King
"Failure to do so, may lead to any babes a woman bears dying early, but I suppose some find it useful for those reasons as well, especially if you engage with others outside of wedlock."
Edger Drakken
"I seriously do not remember you having this as a hobby."
Skeleton King rolls a 20 sided die. A 5 is rolled.
Edger and his knight end up only finding a few uncommon flowers afterwards before time is up.
Edger Drakken
"These aren't going to impress anyone."
Skeleton King
"These flowers when dried and crushed can be used in remedies that remove the pain, but one must make sure to not consume too many of them."
Edger Drakken
2025-10-12 17:18:01
Edger Drakken Profile
Posted by ID #2
Last edit: 2025-10-12 17:18:11
"They're not that rare or pretty."
Skeleton King
"Right....we were looking for rare plants that would look nice in a garden."
Skeleton King
"Well, it's all about the sale, we'll just pretend we found amazing stuff."
The two groups meet back in the Drakken garden.
Skeleton King
"HA HA! Prepare to be-"
Petra Hortus
2025-10-12 17:19:54
Petra Hortus Profile
Posted by ID #5
Last edit: 2025-10-12 17:20:22
"Oh hey! Is that a Tree of Whores sapling? Nice, that'll be great. All we got were these," Petra comments, proceeding to show off the Maiden Blooms.
Skeleton King
The knight is so blindsided by Petra's identifying, not only his rare tree, but pulling out one of the rarest, most valuable plants in the fey woods so casually that he cannot speak.
Urizel Trist
2025-10-12 17:20:49
Urizel Trist Profile
Posted by ID #99
Last edit: 2025-10-12 17:21:24
"Is that all a great knight such as yourself could find?"
Petra Hortus
"Now, now. Everything we've gathered is valuable to the garden and its health. Some are just more valuable than others."
Skeleton King
"There is no way that you found Maiden Blooms and harvested without damaging them! These have to be fake! I bet you these are Siren flowers instead! They look almost the same, but one releases a poisoned pollen in the warm months!"
Skeleton King
But as he looks closer, he sees that the flowers are real and not misidentified at all. "Shit! You really found these.....?"
Flo
“Hmm. You know, the tree of whores has a certain coloration to it… it makes me think. Maybe placing it in the middle of the maiden blooms would look good? They seem like they’d complement very nicely.”
Skeleton King
"YOU CAN'T PLACE THE MAIDEN BLOOMS AROUND THE TREE OF WHORES!"
Skeleton King
"The tree of whores grows quickly! It will strangle the maiden blooms!"
Flo
2025-10-12 17:26:07
Flo Profile
Posted by ID #29
Last edit: 2025-10-12 17:26:14
“Ah, gotcha.”
Petra Hortus
"Ah, so you do know a thing or two! Yeah, we'll have to separate these across the pathway. I think with the extra filler plants we'll be able to make a really nice looking arrangement that gives everything the care that it needs. A bench by the tree will be a great place to relax. It's like having a piece of the woods at home."
Skeleton King
Suddenly the Mad Knight's tone changes. "Well, are you going to offer the maiden blooms to me?"
Edger Drakken
"Don't do that."
Petra Hortus
"Think you've got the wrong kinda girl. My love goes to the soil."
Skeleton King
"Damn it! She even knows that offering maiden blooms is a proposal of marriage!"
Flo
Hearing this, Flo places the one she was holding inside herself back in the wheelbarrow. Maybe she can find a better gift later.
Edger Drakken
"And what were you going to do if she gave them to you???? Marry her?"
Skeleton King
"Well yes, I would have had to."
Skeleton King
"BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, I WOULD HAVE PROVED TO EVERYONE THAT SHE DOESN'T KNOW ALL FACTS ABOUT PLANTS!"
Edger Drakken
2025-10-12 17:33:32
Edger Drakken Profile
Posted by ID #2
Last edit: 2025-10-12 17:34:24
"I wonder if I can just adopt you for about one day so I could force marry you off to some other mad knight in another kingdom as if you were some troublesome child of mine I wished to disown politely."
Petra Hortus
"Desperation's a bad look. Unlike this garden very soon! I'm going to get started right away. Best to get these maiden blooms in a healthy place as soon as possible."
Skeleton King
"To make it clear I wasn't attempting to flirt with you I was attempting to prove you wrong."
Edger Drakken
"Via marriage."
Skeleton King
"As is customary."
Petra Hortus
"Already gardening."
Skeleton King
"You have proven yourself worthy of employment at this castle without shackles. Enjoy your stay, gardener."
The Mad Knight carefully picks up a maiden bloom while the others are busy. One can never be too sure when they'll need such a rare plant.
No one is typing.
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