Tacita Agrippa, a metima, was sent here on the behalf of The Federation. The leading body of government and order in this sector of the universe. The case today was not going to be easy. The vampwelfs have always been a hostile species, but the drakkens, a family that once shied away from leaving their homeworld, were raiding small settlements just outside the borders of The Federation. While it was not their jurisdiction, many citizens, especially politically important citizens of The Federation have been impacted.

......though, in truth, this was only one of the reasons they were here.

"I trust that all of you will be on your best behavior. The vampwelfs, and especially the Drakken family are socially hostile, and their culture may be of great offense, but we are not here to pass judgement on that. Do you all understand?"

"So like, why do I gotta be here? I thought you told me Helios was going to handle all the political paper work."

"Our Helios unit has informed us that he is having a malfunction. That after an experience he had in the woods, he finds there are "corrupted" memories he cannot remove, and he believes it is having an impact on his mental abilities."

"The teacher is playing hookie so he can play with some ponies in the woods is what I think."

"If that is the attitude you are displaying towards your own allies in need, I will not hesitate to turn you off and return you to storage unit you came from. You could get us all killed if you cannot hold your digital tongue in the Drakken household."

"We do not know what causes specifically generation one AIs to function where all other machines fail on this planet....."

The gorgorse perked up, a slight smile appearing on his face. If you could call the expression a smile.

"No offense but I think Lanceton is going to automatically offend the Drakkens with that creepy smile of his."

"The probability of me offending the vampwelfs is extremely low. I do understand my appearance is.. Less than pleasing but I will have you know I am an extremely capable individual. I know when to not speak and play along. No offense."

This dude seriously "No offense"'d me. Weak......

The Legate of Destiny, a major leader of the metima peoples, folds her arms and scoffs. As a major agitator against the vampwelves, she had pulled several strings to go alongside the real diplomats.

"I doubt these fools have the fangs to best us with me present, Ambassador, but I know the value of not upsetting the primitives. I'll play nice."

"Thank you Legate of Destiny. There's always a chance we will be ambushed. If this happens, I have full faith in your abilities to allow us an escape. While the castle is fortified, as long as we escape to the woods, I am assured we can escape safely."

"Hmmph. As you said, due to their primitive lifestyle and myths, only the bravest of vampwelfs would follow us into the depths of the woods."

"Rest assured, sweet scribe... Compared to what we are about to sit down with, you'll be positively a film star"

"Can't wait to watch you guys talk to a bunch of ghosts. What a lame anomaly."

"Ooooh, only people with at least some organic parts in them can see them, and uuh, robots can't even hear or notice them, because I don't fucking know, I feel like it!"

"After the incident with Helios yesterday, we actually predict that it is not vampwelfs who are the anomaly, but that machines who look at them enter a state of disorientation or corruption."

"Same shit."

"The outcome may appear to be the same, but the way the effect works is rather distinct if true."

"I mean, it's a wonder you even work here, Mr Apollo. Most tech just seems to *thpbb*."

"Tell me about it. You know how much this armour weighs when the power-assist isn't online? Too much, it does."

"Exhibit B: My luggage."
The cuteye gestures at the little-over-3-foot bag.
"Can't use inventories so evvverythiing has to be physically be here."
(Kerri already misses the inventory bag.)

"Dude I'm the most functional guy around. Did you see the three v1s you brought around? Mr. Horse man is prancing around the woods. Clownie is useless cause she's "extraaaaaaa magic~" she might as well just be one of you, and that other lady we brought just disappeared as soon as we got here!"

"I'm the only useful one here!"

"Apollo. Shut up."

"Uh."

"Sorry about being a piece of shit. Are we ready to go?"

"We're good to go. Remember everyone. No matter what the Drakkens do, show some respect."

"We'll complain about them on our way back to the ship." Tacita assures with a smile.

"APOLOGIZES FOR THE INTRUSION DARKLY PATRIARCH. POLITICIANS FROM THE FEDERATION WISH TO SPEAK IN YOUR COURT."

"ONE WORD, MY SIR, AND I SHALL SLAY THEM WHERE THEY STAND."

"Mmmmm. What word would it be, Dread Knight? I might be interested in using it later."

"TO DEATH. THAT IS ALL YOU NEED TO SAY, AND THEIR LIVES WILL BE SNUFFED, MY LORD."

"It is two words, is not?"

The Dread Knight glares at James, but says nothing. It would be wrong to argue with someone of higher rank.

Tacita Agrippa approaches Boris' throne. She mimics a traditional vampwelf curtsy, something she has trained for hours to master. "Lord Boris von Drakken, patriarch of the Drakken household, I am here to ask for the release of those you have taken recently from a resort."

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Boris Drakken hisses with a bang to his throne.

"The von Drakkens have played by YOUR RULES. No enslaving those in The Federation borders, and no eating of those within it as well!"

"You should be HONORED that the von Drakkens have stoop to such a DISGUSTING LEVEL to meet your demands!"

"Now you ask MORE of us? These slaves are from outside of Federation borders! The murders? OUT. SIDE. Now you come to enforcer laws outside of your borders?"

"Well, there you have it then, have a nice trip back."

(This was the plan? Pretty please, evil tyrant, stop being evil and tyrannical?)

"We understand Lord Boris von Drakken. We do not come empty handed. The Federation has given approval to supply you with more than enough blood and minerals to replace anything you lose, and is willing to supply more should you agree to halt attacks at tourist attractions."

Boris looks to his fellow Drakkens. "They aim to make us men who BEG for HANDOUTS! There is NOTHING that can replace what a MAN earns via his wing and weapon!"

"A rich man who hasn't earned his keep, is nothing but a woman folk, meant to be pampered and bear babes."

"Do I look like a man who needs to be cradled in the soft embrace of the Federation?"

"More a beast that the fortress of progress was built to keep at bay."

"And yet a beast whose fangs can seek only the meek and helpless."

"Exactly! You understand!"

"If those people built a fortress this wouldn't have happened! They basically BEGGED to be killed in the streets!"

"I believe that was meant as an insult, Papa."

Boris looks to Bellodonna, pausing as if he didn't know why, or when she got here. "Oh."

"TO. DEATH." Boris growls towards the Dread Knight.

"Bye bye. Was nice meeting you funny man."

"AS YOU PLEASE, MY LORD." The Dread Knight pulls the lance back, but recoils. "Eugh......what is that smell.....?"

"Foul! Foul scent!" James gags.

"What vulgarity have you brought into our house, aliens."

"All three of you are wet behind the ears. I could smell this from the moment they entered." Boris doesn't flinch at the scent. Vampwelfs were sensitive when it came to their blood. While the other aliens in the room could not smell it, every vampwelf in the room could tell something was wrong.

"You DARE bring the foul reaches of the FEY WOODS into here? Is that it? The Federation aligns themselves with FEY now?"

"You did not come here to free those who are enslaved, you slimy BASTARDS! You're here for what we're keeping away from you. The FEY MAGIC." Boris gets up and hobbles towards the group, cane in hand.

"I am the ONLY ONE in this castle who has lived long enough to tell you why the FEY truly should not be trusted."

The body lies still, blood pouring from the massive hole in its chest. Nobody could possibly survive such an injury. Surely...

Tacita holds herself together watching Destiny fall. "We primarily came here to bargain over your hostage, and were more than willing to pay handsomely for those artifacts your family have been stealing."

"It AIN'T STEALING to take a BOMB out of a CASTLE! The von Drakkens might have a terrible.....taste for having a little nibble here and there, but our TRADITIONS hold strong for a REASON."

"We have tried to tell you Federation idiots time and time again. Those artifacts BELONG to the von Drakkens by birth! To be guarded as our fathers of old have done. There have been many wars, and traditions have been razed to the ground, but as long as there is ONE MAN in this castle who remembers, the FEY WILL BE HELD AT BAY!"

Boris smells the air.

"I'm going to give you a little MERCY. You're going to take it, and you're going to go back to your little Federation tea party, and tell them all the good I've done for you. I don't SMELL another FEY in the room. We'll be taking a "treat" for later though." Boris commands as he points towards Kerri.

"AS YOU COMMAND MY LORD!" The Dread Knight grabs Kerri. "THIS ONE SHALL MAKE FOR A FINE MAID FOR THE WHELPS."

"Or nice ball to toss!"

"The rest of you, be sure to be good and grateful, for my illustrious father's mercy, in spite of your repeated slights and insults."

Tacita Agippa wants to shout at the vampwelfs, to demand Kerri back, but she holds her tongue, remembering her own words. Insulting the Drakkens will lead to more death. "The Federation apologizes for disturbing your peace. We shall be back with payment to trade for Kerri." She curtsy once more, and leaves with what little she has left, Lanceton and Apollo dragging the dead metima with them.

"Hmmp. Foul blood on the floor.....Fey walking among us."

Boris rubs his forehead. "I am becoming, I fear, an old man. With no one to come after me, who will hold the secrets that keeps this family....no....THIS PLANET together?"

James Drakken looks at Bellodonna, Boris' daughter.

"Daughter, maybe?"

"There is no need to worry papa... I will make sure everything is well taken care of."
she quietly adds, "as always" under her breath.

"I cannot pass the information to Bellodonna!" Boris argues as if she did not stand not more than five feet from him. "She is a woman! Women are the kind that started to speak to the FEYS. It is why the fey are kind to women folk, unlike the men."

"I had told my son all he needed to know about the FEY and about our HISTORY to defend against them. If he had not been thrown out...." Boris pauses to remember the son he has lost. "...then there would be no issue."

"Then marry your Bellodonna off to man you trust! He will become your son, and all will be well, my lord!"

"Don't be fucking greedy James. I gave you a woman!"

Bellodonna wanted to scream, to argue against the point, to remind father of why dear sweet precious Little Brother was no longer around to receive these important responsibilities that he at one point promised to her... but...

"It is of course, as you say, papa... I will do what I must... for us."

"It would be simpler if I could just bring my son back....."

"Can a man have some idle fantasy wishes? It matters not. I am sure he is de.......dead! Dead out there!" Boris grumbles and waves off James. "Where is the Mad Knight? I need a drink and jokes."

"Do you wish for me to locate fine husband for daughter?"

"I will find one on my own time! I have said this many times before! Leave me be!" Boris huffs as he exits.

James looks to Bellodonna.

"Father has been looking for, maybe 100 years? 200? A woman cannot wait to bear for so long. Do you believe father even has another 100 years? Maybe less, yeah?"

Bellodonna watches her father go a good long while before acknowledging James, the words, "Goodnight" and "I love you" caught deep in her throat before she finally turns to him.

Bellodonna forces her face into an irreverent rictus.
"Oh what are you saying, dear sir James, our dear Lord Boris has many centuries left I'm sure."

"My good fortune willing anyway, perhaps my virginial virtue can last a good few centuries more before I even need to really think about such things, hm?"

"Or maybe you are well and truly upset that you've 'missed your shot', eh?"

"Mmmm. No. I do not think so. More and more I see Lord Boris lean on his cane. He is falling apart at the seams. Only good for sitting and talking, talking may fail him soon too, yes?"

"He sleeps....so much now....."

"Not upset that I have missed my shot though. Any women that is not scared of me, and is not my first or second cousin is a good women to me!"

"Boris has said he will find you a good husband, but uuuuuh, just in case, do you have any requirements?"

"You are of such high blood. You could have any man you want. I can drag them here for you, and you of course will reward handsomely, yes?"

"I doubt there is a man out there who is to my liking I'm afraid, after all there are not many men who enjoy a woman as... willful as I am."

"Hahaha! Bellodonna, you are funny! Times are different now, yes? You have seen Edger Drakken. Can make a woman like a man, and a man like a woman! If we can find such a thing, then we can find something for you as well. You want man who will whimper when kicked? I can find man like that!"

"We have many ways to check women to make sure they are good wife."

"But I can tell you, I have learned ways to check if a man is good as well! You never know when you need to find suitable men you can trust."

"Ah, I do believe I met someone I did like long ago, someone charming, witty, and unafraid of me, someone who wasn't so worried about protocol you know... someone who I..." she quietly mouthed the words "felt safe around"

"The only issue I suppose being... well... they were a woman."

"Hmmmmm........"

"Has the new wizard figured out how to make women bear babes without men yet?"

James doesn't wait, it's only been a month that the new wizard has been at her duties.....also the new wizard was a 9 year old. "Hmmm, this is complicated Bellodonna. You should be old enough to no longer be under the effect of the woman's fey joys....At least, this much."

"Many women indulge in the fey joys, but then they also have a husband so they may still bear the babes."

"A trade you say, of what."

"I will get you your woman. And you will adopt me."

"When father dies. Then I will be King. Yes? You will still be Princess. Your line will still be royal."

"Even though you will not bear any babes......"

"But it all works out, yes? And think about it! Father does not need to know! Because...."

"........" Ah, yes, she'd been getting far too comfortable.

"You are quite correct about that, James, papa would certainly not allow such a thing to come to pass."

"Do not worry yourself with my childish Fey-whimseys, James, that was an age ago, and I am... quite grown up."

"I suppose though I will keep your charming little suggestion in mind, as an amusing memory at the least."

"Ok! I will take this as yes, please find me a woman! See, Bellodonna, I will not wait. I will find what you need." James Drakken laughs as he walks to the exit, ready for his quest.

"I am not your father. I do not wait for you to grow old and keep telling you "Next year I will do it.""

"One week. I will find you a fey-touched woman. I already know where to find queer oddities. Edger Drakken collects such things!"

"Is that quite so... Then as they say, 'Good Hunting', James."