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Home > Expos > Event 7 > Page 41
BAD BUSINESS▼
BAD BUSINESS
[Buy Somethin' Will Ya! - Earthbound Music Extended]
Pluto
2024-12-28 00:32:47
Pluto Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-08-04 23:33:48
"Glad you disgusting, no good scabs could come today!"
Pluto
"My cashiers still won't come into work, especially after one of them got mauled by O-6!"
Pluto
2024-12-28 00:33:05
Pluto Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-08-04 23:33:19
"You no good, belly draggin' rats look like you've worked anomalous retail before. Do you need me to explain how that there combiner machine works?"
Adras
"O-6 shops here?"
Pluto
"We're at his party, course he shops here!"
Adras
"Well, I suppose that's just another day working retail then."
Adras
"I haven't used this specific model of combiner machine before but I've worked anomalous retail so I can probably figure it out, I'd say."
Boxbot
"Another day. Another dollar! I am incredibly excited to further work with this machine. I've got high quality items that will ensure a Victory at Selling things."
Pluto
"What in tarnation is a dollar, son?"
Boxbot
"I don't know! I heard it in another universe, and I must say I like the Rhyme of it."
Boxbot
"Another planetary rotation, another point just doesn't Roll off the proverbial tongue."
Pluto
"Sounds like a blessed word to me. Around these parts we use another day, another point."
Pluto
"Anyway if you don't need my help using the machine, I'll leave you to it."

The eyegret chirps at a list on Pluto's table. It noticed it with its [Keen Eyes]!

Pluto
2024-12-28 00:41:21
Pluto Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-08-04 23:09:44
"Oh, that's my prized customer list!"
Pluto
2024-12-28 00:41:30
Pluto Profile
Posted by ID #2
Last edit: 2025-07-24 12:28:25
"I wasn't going to offer, cause the last few folks who have tried have....ended up in some poor circumstances, and I don't mean money wise!"
Pluto
"If you want to try it, I got this here capsule if you manage to sell to at least 4 of my 5 special customers."
2024-12-28 00:46:18
Profile
Posted by ID #2
Last edit: 2025-03-07 21:01:28
Boxbot
2024-12-28 00:46:47
Boxbot Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-08-04 23:10:33
Boxbot Likes a challenge (If it involved further rewards). He looks to Adras with a Cheery expression and gives a thumbs up. Yes?
Adras
It can't be any worse than getting mauled.
Pluto
"I can't say you'll be safe while doing this. Understood? Some of my customers are feisty folks ready to put up a fight."
Pluto
"Physically."
Boxbot
"We will keep the Physicalness of our Self Defense to a minimum to ensure a better deal! I'm sure we can Reason with these Fine Folks."
Adras
"We'll take it, gas has been pricy lately since everyone's rushing to get out with all the flooding going on."
Pluto
"No idea why you would buy gas when you can't even get into the skies until it stops stormin' but here's my list! Good luck!"
Pluto
"Oh, and one more thin'. The last few scabs have left my store a complete mess. How about you have a little more sense then them and clean up the store before I get back?"
Pluto
"Anyway, see you lowlives. I got a legal battle to attend! Remember, don't waste their time. You can only show them up to two items each!"
Pluto's Customer List

  1. Bobo: Need to get on his good side before he becomes an adult. It's a kid, should be easy to spoil!

  2. Scavenger and Alabaster: No good pirates, but still paying customers.

  3. Madam: She missed her appointment the other day. She's a fine little lady though. Easy to make excited.

  4. CL-7: Should be a simple one. I think you could sell this guy just about anything! Have been noticin' he's been actin' a little funny lately.

  5. Circe and Kratos: Got no idea what to do with these two. They're pretty new to me. Not sure if it's even worth focusing on the bird honestly.

Fish coughs up a bag of catnip using [Hammerspace].

Boxbot
Boxman looks over the item assortment the two have been cooking up, thinking for a second.

"Boss, I've got a crazy suggestion. One that just might appeal to this wild crowd."
Boxbot
"You ever heard to the Good Cop, bad cop strategy?"
Boxbot
"I've sold to a few of these people before. If I Appear honest about the flaws of the items, and you piggyback off that to focus on the Uses and wonders, I think we have the charisma between us both to make them feel respect, and at the same time, Intrigued. I already know I am good at expounding the Amazing Products to sell here, but I feel like a more Relatable element could be key. You feel me?"
Adras
"Hm. That's not the worst idea, specially if you've sold to them before."
Adras
"Talking about flaws isn't necessarily a good thing for our prices, but it does make them more likely to bite when they feel a bit more in control."
Boxbot
"You're so smart, Boss. I'll be honest, I was worried I would have to spell it out like I would to some interns I had before. Glad we're on the same page."
Adras
"We could upcharge at first, then give a discount after they point out the flaws you talk about, and then sell it at its actual price. Yeah, could work..."
Boxbot
Boxbot beams. He gives Adras a pat on his hand, a strange very un-intimate gesture of happiness.

"You get me exactly. We can be the 'honest salesmen, looking out for their best.'"
Adras
"Before we open, give me a second to write a quick poem, see if I can maybe put myself out here since we're gonna be selling to big names."
Adras
"And some preteen named Bobo. Apparently."
Boxbot
"I do not understand why there are children here. The amount of murder thugs makes it an unideal vacation spot. But take your time, of course." He says, leaning over Adras's shoulder to peek as he writes it.

Adras uses a spare pen and an empty notebook they had lying around to write.


He lays his back on engraved stone,
Bearing witness, our days bygone.
Despite tireless work in the sun,
We never quite think about your glum.

Oh sundial, don't you see?
Your life's purpose, a mere shadow of what you could be!
You don't ring, you don't say,
And so a simple stone you will remain.

In this era where time is a currency,
We spare no cost in moving on.
You stand here, all alone,
In the eye of the passerby cyclone.

Adras
Not the best thing he's ever written but it's definitely something to be proud of, he thinks.
Adras
"Alright, I'm ready."

Adras puts away the Handwritten Poem (Great Quality.)
Adras
"Help me clean up before our costumers arrive."
Boxbot
2024-12-28 00:57:30
Boxbot Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-08-04 23:13:00
Boxbot eagerly begins Stacking and Shelving items, making the place presentable. He picks up various pieces of trash to sort into small boxes, to put them out of the way for a moment.
Adras
Adras commands Fish to eat as much trash and leftover ladybugs as he can, Pluto asked us to clean up after all.
Adras
Meanwhile Adras himself sweeps and prepares the storefront.
2024-12-28 01:00:33
Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-28 01:01:29
Items for Sale

  1. Clockwork Art Piece (Great Quality)

  2. Plastic Shadowlance (Ok Quality)

  3. Evil Prom Queen Crown (Great Quality)

  4. Razor blade apple (Razor's easily visible) (Terrible quality)

  5. Mind control ray (50% chance) (Works for only a few seconds) (One Use) (Great Quality)

  6. Bloody Balloon Snake (Great Quality)

  7. Tattered Woopy World Plush (Poor Quality)

  8. Display Dark Dragon Spear (Ok Quality)

  9. Tacky.......Um......It's O-6 themed that's all that matters. (Poor Quality)

  10. Evolved Aftik Plush (Amazing Quality)

  11. Handwritten Poem (Great Quality)

OPEN FOR BUSINESS.

The first guest arrived. The duo should have expected it, but Bobo had come with his dad.....and his "teacher."

Averruncus
"A-alright Bobo, my "dad" is letting you get whatever you want from his store."
Bobo Hotwheels
"Grandpa's stuff smells like mold."
Averruncus
"How do you know that?"
Bobo Hotwheels
"I'm assuming."
Cheater
"Ah, hey folks. You have something for the kid?"
Bobo Hotwheels
"I'm not a kid."
Cheater
"*For Bobo."
Adras
"We definitely do."

Adras pushes the Plastic Shadowlance to the front.
Bobo Hotwheels
"................................................................"
Adras
"It holds dark secrets and unknown power."
Bobo Hotwheels
"It's made of plastic."
Averruncus
"Well you can't have a real weapon Bobo."
Boxbot
Boxbot puts his hand to his chin, and shakes his head. "Kids Right, Adras. It's a cheap toy, it could break easily. Don't underestimate a bots intuition."
Adras
"Well, I wouldn't call it cheap, it's definitely got the quality to last a while. In the first place, a weapon with such an imposing aura is more fit for bluffing, right?"
Adras
"After all, you'd rather not get into a proper fight with one's enemies. For their sake. A wise man once said a weapon's greatest quality is its ability to stop conflict, not participate in it."
Boxbot
"Definitely puts a limit on your natural skill. Makes you have to learn a whole new style, if you're used to wielding something Heartier."
Averruncus
"Yeah B-Bobo. A weaker weapon would be better."
Averruncus
"You kind of cause a lot of damage even with basic weapons."
Bobo Hotwheels
"I don't want a weaker weapon, dad."
Bobo Hotwheels
"I want to learn how to control my powers as is."
Cheater
"I think it looks really cool."
Bobo Hotwheels
"Really? Well if you think it looks cool, teach, I'll get it!"
Averruncus
So he doesn't respect anything I have to say huh....
Averruncus
"Actually maybe you're right, maybe it does suck."
Bobo Hotwheels
"No way, if teacher wants me to try out a new weapon, I'm following him."
Cheater
"Sorry, dude."
Averruncus
"Sniff.....I can't wait till he's out of his tween phase."
Adras
"I think the kid's plenty cool at the moment, actually. Hope he enjoys the Shadowlance."

Adras hands out the merchandise!
Adras
"*Bobo."
Bobo Hotwheels
"Yeah, it's Bobo to you."
Bobo Hotwheels
2024-12-28 01:11:24
Bobo Hotwheels Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-08-04 23:15:29
Despite trying to look serious about the whole thing, Bobo leaves the store with a smile on his face.

The same cannot be said about the next face that enters.

Alabaster
"Well well well, ain't that the face of a snake." Alabaster comments as he glares at Boxbot.
Alabaster
"Here to sell me overpriced shit again?
Boxbot
"You'll be happy to know I'm not in charge. I'm Hired Help. I'm just working on quality assurance, not my show, not my sales. I'm clean up."
Boxbot
"My deepest apologies for how last time went. In over my head, I went in with a foolhardy price I realized even I wasn't ready to pay for. Don't mind me, sir. I'll be assisting."
Adras
"Yeah, he's been haggling down all my sales all day! Here I am, trying to make ends meet!"
Alabaster
"That's right. Close your damn speakers. Let's see what's for sale!"
Adras
Adras pushes the Evolved Aftik Plush (Amazing Quality) forwards. The Dark Dragon Spear visible in the back to avoid attempts at robbery.
Adras
"Now this here's a gimme. At the risk of being a bit forwards, we definitely outdid ourselves with this one."
Adras
"Felt like a handsome aftik like yourself could use a handsome aftik copilot."
Alabaster
"SO DO YOU THINK I'M A CHILD OR WHAT?"
Adras
"Nope, I think you someone who would know the value of reselling a collector's item to suckers."
Alabaster
"Now you're speaking my language!"
Alabaster
"Next time open with that!"
Boxbot
Boxbot chimes in, while idly pushing a mop across the floor. "It doesnt Even look like an actual aftik. What's with all the weird "evolved" elements? Doesn't look normal to whatever line this is supposed to be a part of."

He continues pushing the mop, idling back to let Adras take a further stage forward.
Adras
"...Well, I definitely doubt anyone you'd be reselling this to would be smart enough to tell the difference."
Adras
"What's we say, give you a discount for it, and you make even more cash from buying it?"
Adras
"In the end, the "evolved" elements are what make it a valuable collector's item."
Adras
Adras sighs and mumbles about how he keeps selling all these things at a DISCOUNT BECAUSE OF BOXBOT

CHAOS ROLL!

Adras
OK HIT ME.

The aftik plush turns into an arma plush. Still of the same quality.

Alabaster
"FIRST OFF. I TOLD YOU TO SHUT YOUR FUCKING SPEAKERS, ROBOT."
Alabaster
"Second off, why would I want it now. Armas are ugly!"
The Scavenger
"Quite rude."
Adras
"T-that's a transforming plush?! Boxbot, you were in charge of looking over our merchandise! Pluto told us not to sell this one because he was waiting to come across someone to sell it for triple the normal price!"
Adras
"I already-"
Adras
Cough. "Gave them the discount! I can't take it back now!"
Boxbot
Boxbot mimes frantically, hands shrugging as he puts them to the sides of his head. Oh no!
Fortuna rolls a 20 sided die. A 14 is rolled.
Alabaster
"Hmmm transforming plush....."
Alabaster
"Guess it's mine now!" Alabaster takes it.
Alabaster
"But don't think I'll pay for it!"
The Scavenger
"Please pay for it."
Boxbot
He puts his hands on his screen, still silent, absolutely downtrodden. All his fault, they've screwed the pooch!
Alabaster
"What are they going to do? Attack me with that insulting looking weapon?"
The Scavenger
"They might."
Adras
Adras stands to the side, making the Dark Dragon Spear even more obvious.

"Look, we're a reputable store and I can't exactly let you go out there and talk about this mistake, so I'll happily sell it to you for the discounted price of what we originally thought it was."
Adras
"J-just, don't speak to this about my boss and we won't try anything."
Alabaster
"THIS FUCKER DOESN'T LOOK LIKE HE KNOWS HOW TO THROW A PUNCH."
The Scavenger
"Don't insult his looks."
Adras
"Well yeah, that's why we keep the rabid, radioactive wug around."
Alabaster
"LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT I THINK OF YOUR STUPID LOOKING SPEAR!!!!"

Alabaster shoots the spear with his laser!

Alabaster rolls a 20 sided die. A 20 is rolled.

The spear becomes an agnilith!

Boxbot
He mimes to the agnilith. Look what you did!
Alabaster
"Actually can I buy that instead?"
Adras
"..."
Adras
"If you don't want us to sic the giant eco-weapon fish we now have and the radioactive guard dog wug with rabies on you, you'll accept the plush you've already taken."

Fish thrashes a box around like a ragdoll in the background, slobbering nondescript green goo over it.

Alabaster
"Who says that the eco weapon fish is loyal to you?"
Fortuna flips a 2 sided coin. A 1 is flipped.

"RAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" The agnilith is devoted to Alabaster who has granted it life!

Alabaster
"I take the toy for myself. I buy the fish. Deal?"
The Scavenger
"You need to stop adding dolls to your hoard."
Alabaster
"SHUT IT BEFORE I SCRAP YOU."
Boxbot
Boxbot picks up the mind control ray, idly polishing it with a rag while Adras and Alabaster Talk.
Adras
"Fine, but that's still an agnilith, thing's pricy."
Alabaster
"NO IT AIN'T."
Alabaster
"As far as your boss knows, on YOUR sheet, it's just a cheap ass weapon."
Adras
"Last I remembered, and I literally just toured their building, this is a premium ZooCorp product."
Alabaster
"YOUR DAMN BOSS WON'T KNOW. I'M BUYING IT AT THE PRICE IT WAS BEFORE."
Adras
"Also, on OUR sheet, we're losing a transforming plush."
Adras
"Our warehouse? Whatever, point is I'm gonna have to take the fall for that."
Adras
"This buy is pricy, point is."
Alabaster
"I'll buy at half the price you're offering, which is double the price the original item costs. That should balance it."
Adras
"...Fine."
Adras
"Boxbot, we need to get on making a plushie that looks like the one we're selling so that Pluto doesn't find out or we're toast. Please work on that while I man the storefront."
Boxbot
Boxbot nods, and heads to the back, sorting through trash looking for material to make a plush out of!

Boxbot looks around for supplies, but it seems everything is locked. More items cannot be made.

Adras
"Do you want a receipt?"
Alabaster
"Like I'll return this plunder!" Alabaster pays and leaves.
Adras
"...Still no clue what everyone sees in the zookeeper toys. They're fun, sure, but I've seen people trade houses for those things."
Adras
"I'd say that went well."

It isn't long until the next customer comes in.

Madam
She's a mess. Her hide is scarred and her body poorly painted.
Adras
"Speaking of Zookeeper, it's always nice to see a friendly-"
Adras
"...Face?"
Madam
She lights a smoke on her way in and lowers her hat, as if she doesn't want anyone to look at her.
Madam
But it's too late, she's already getting reactions. She mumbles disgruntledly, "Pluto said he had something to sell me."
Boxbot
Boxbot returns. Nothing to make. He sees this cekeki, dyed in bright hues. He has not seen her before, thus doesn't realize how drastic her sadness permeates her new look.
Adras
Adras wasn't a moron, it was relatively clear that she didn't want too much attention on the whole... Think. He was still super concerned for her, but he wasn't going to bring it up more than he already had by complete accident.
Adras
"Well, if you're here for sorries, I'm gonna have to tell you I only have some 13 in the tank."
Madam
"I don't care for apologizes. They're useless things. Words."
Adras
"...Not even if I add in a 14th, free of charge?"
Madam
"No." She states bluntly.
Adras
Oh, fuck. It's worse than he thought.
Boxbot
Boxbot discreetly attempts to remove the Horribly implanted razor from the Deathtrap Apple.
Boxbot rolls a 20 sided die. A 3 is rolled.

Boxbot accidently cuts into his wires. He is now bleeding out......In a robot way of course.

Boxbot
Boxbot puts the Apple full of razor blades back down and looks at the oil gushing from his Arm.
Boxbot
He tries to Seal the wound.
Boxbot rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of -5. A 12 is rolled.

The wound is barely sealed by holding onto it tightly with his hand.

Madam
Madam sighs. "Please show me a product."
Adras
"Huh? Oh, y-yes, sure thing."
Adras
Adras pushes forwards the Evil Prom Queen Crown. He made it expecting Madam to get a kick out of it, but now it feels like Madam probably wouldn't get a kick out of anything.
Madam
Madam flicks her lighter several times as she looks at the prom queen in agitation.
Madam
She smiles but Adras can tell that the smile is fake and laced with arsenic. "Haha. You are quite the funny man. Tell me, do you think I would look wonderful in that crown?"
Madam
"Because this is just an awful joke to me. Sir. You would kick a lady at her lowest."
Boxbot
"It's tacky, that's for sure." He looks over the crown.

CHAOS ROLL ON THE CROWN.

Fortuna rolls a 20 sided die. A 17 is rolled.

The crown turns into 5 cups of coffee.

Madam
Madam doesn't seem amuse by the quirkiness of the chaos. "Show me something else, or I shall take my leave. You've insulted me enough."
Adras
"...Hey, uh, if you need to talk to anybody later, my shift ends in a bit."
Madam
"I'm engaged. No thanks."

CHAOS ROLL ON THE APPLE I GUESS!

Fortuna rolls a 20 sided die. A 20 is rolled.

The apple is turned into a banana!

Boxbot
Boxbot offers the banana to madam.

"Wouldn't recommend it. It contained a lot of razor blades before hand. But you can look it over."
Adras
"Seems fine to me now, but yeah. Sorry Madam, I hope you have a swell day with Scab later."
Madam
Madam, who would normally launch herself towards an anomalous object, shows no movement as she looks at the banana. "I don't need more power. But thanks."
Madam
She takes a long drag. "I'm not really in the mood to help myself. But I appreciate the attempt." She leaves the store.
Adras
"...Fuck, man."

The next customer enters.

Classless-7
"Salutations and good day. I was informed you may have something of great value to me? :V"
Adras
"Oh, absolutely sir!" Adras pushes forwards the (HOW DO I FUCKING DESCRIBE IT) SHAPED O-6 MEMORABILIA.
Classless-7
CL-7 looks at the....the........oh dear.........is that a.....?
Classless-7
"Oh. Ah.....hm...how do I say this? Me and O-6 are....not like that, you understand? :V"
Classless-7
"I was hoping for something a bit more exciting possibly. If you understand. :V"
Adras
"Oh, yes, I see what you mean, my mistake."
Boxbot
"Yeah, people surely make assumptions about how close you are with that guy if you're carrying around a…. Whatever that is, in his likeness."
Classless-7
"As O-6's hound, you understand that I have certain duties I must do. :V"
Adras
"Ok, how about this mind control ray? Works for a short moment, likely very good at stopping assassination attempts among other things, I hear O-6 has been dying quite a bit lately. For the record, we don't sell it to just about everyone and we're two manning the store specifically because of this item."

Adras pushes forwards the mind control ray.
Adras
"You'll get complimentary catnip seeds if you buy it."
Boxbot
"Exceedingly unethical! And very dangerous." Boxbot chimes in.
Boxbot
"You want to be careful where you point that thing. Please do not attempt to test fire it in the store."
Classless-7
"Only for a short moment....hmmmm."
Adras
"A short moment's an eternity when a life's on the line, I'd say."
Classless-7
"Are catnip seeds poisonous? My apologizes for the comment, but I just wanted to make sure. :V"
Adras
"Perfectly safe."
Boxbot
"They're a time commitment. At least, if you want what's inside to count. Otherwise you're using them half to their prime."
Boxbot
"But they are free with the ray."
Classless-7
"Ah, sadly it would take too long to grow the seeds for O-6. I will have to pass but thank you for the offer. :V"
Classless-7
"Before I leave, is there anything I may do for you? :V"
Adras
"You'd really help me out if you bought something."
Classless-7
"Sadly I have very little money, and the two items shown are no use to my plans. :V"
Adras
"Lucky for you we have items that cost very little money."
Boxbot
"And also complimentary coffee!"
Boxbot
"**with a purchase."
Adras
Adras pushes forwards the Tattered Woopy World Doll
Adras
"Super cheap, specially considering what you'd really be buying would be the catnip seeds."

Adras remembers what Pluto said. Two items only.

Adras
Fuck.

Adras shuts up and pulls the Woopy World doll away.

Classless-7
"If there is no way I could help you other than buying items, I suppose I will take my leave. Sorry for wasting your time. :V"
Boxbot
"Have a good one, friend! Best of luck with the rest of your work."

The final two guests enter.

Circe
Circe walks up to the counter, while Kratos takes aim at Boxbot.
Kratos
"BE FREE."
Kratos rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +10. A 23 is rolled.

Kratos instantly kills the already weakened Boxbot.

Boxbot
He dies.
Adras
"w-WHAT THE FUCK?"
Kratos
"He will come back........"
Kratos
"I will wait."
Circe
"So, what do you have to sell me, partner?"
Adras
"...I-uh, give me a second..."

ADRAS FIRES THE BRAINWASHING RAY AT KRATOS.
Kratos
".............................................................."
Kratos
Kratos doesn't have a brain. The mind control ray breaks.

Boxbot respawns.

Adras
"QUICK! FISH! PUT THE MUZZLE BACK ON HIM! I SAW THIS ON TV!"

Fish looks at his owner with sad, wet, non existent eyes. He....doesn't know where the muzzle is.

Adras
Oh, you sweet, sweet child.
[Catherine OST Track 9 - Chopin Revolutionary Etude]
Boxbot
Boxbot immediately attempts to hide in the trash and blend in.
Boxbot rolls a 20 sided die. A 14 is rolled.

Boxbot hides in the trash and hopes that Kratos doesn't see him.

Kratos
"Where are you.........?" Kratos is looking for Boxbot!
Kratos rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +5. A 13 is rolled.

But he just misses him by an inch! Boxbot still has more time to live.

Adras
Tacky.......Um......It's O-6 themed that's all that matters. (Poor Quality)

This one.
Adras
2024-12-28 03:36:10
Adras Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-08-04 23:21:41
ADRAS HANDS FISH THE Tacky.......Um......It's O-6 themed that's all that matters. (Poor Quality), AND ORDERS HIM TO MUZZLE HIM, PLEASE.

Fish looks at his owner with sad, wet, non existant eyes......does he...have to....use the...... :(?

Adras
There's no choice. I understand it's a hard deed. I know how much you'll have to sacrifice for this. I am so sorry.

Fish tries, but he's not happy about it!

Fish rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of -5. A 2 is rolled.

Fish sniffles and sobs and drops the object that shall not be named. Fish refuses and goes to bite his owner in retaliation!

Fish rolls a 20 sided die. A 19 is rolled.

Fish badly bites his owner. His owner is not only bleeding, but POISONED!

Adras
"I..."
Adras
"Deserve this."
Adras
ADRAS HIMSELF GOES FOR IT, HE CRIES WHILE TOUCHING IT.
Adras rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of -5. An 8 is rolled.

Adras holds the...the.....Adras hands shake due to the posion...no....due to holding the foul item. He can't do it!

Boxbot
"THOSE DENTINE BALLOONS ARE GIMMICKY AND HAVE AN ABYSMAL SHELF LIFE." HE SHOUTS, DOING A DOLPHIN DIVE EMERGING FROM THE TRASH AND IMMEDIATELY LEAPING BACK IN, TRYING TO CREATE DISTANCE IN THE GARBAGE STACKS. HE'S GOING TO WIN.

ALSO THE EYEGRET TRIES TO JUMP ON TOP OF KRATOS AND BLIND HIM.

The eyegret tries to blind Kratos!!!!

.......................But it doesn't have a trait to do that.

Kratos
"DIE!"
Kratos rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +10. A 16 is rolled.
Boxbot rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of -5. A 5 is rolled.

Kratos slams into the eyegret and makes a run for Boxbot!

Boxbot
SWAN DIVE AND FUCKING SWIM THROUGH THE TRASH EVASIVE MANUVERS BABY!
Boxbot rolls a 20 sided die. A 12 is rolled.
Kratos
"TRASH WILL NOT STOP ME!" Kratos eagle grabs into the trash!
Boxbot
IN HIS SWIM HE ATTEMPTS TO TRY TO PUT RANDOM SCRAP IN KRATOS'S HANDS AS IT ENTERS THE TRASH PILE TO CONFUSE HIM.
Kratos rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +10. A 24 is rolled.
Kratos
Kratos grabs Boxbot out of the trash before he can do anything. "FREEDOM. NOW."
Boxbot
"Please don't!"
Circe
"You know, if you guys just sold me something, I would have left and Kratos would have went with me."
Adras
"QUICK, CIRCE BUY MY DENTINE RINGMASTER ITEM THING."
Adras
"AWESOME, PLEASE, QUICKLY, I'LL GIVE YOU EXTRAS AND A DISCOUNT."
Adras
Adras lists off several of the items for sale in a panic.

"ALL OF THE ABOVE IF YOU BUY THE BLOODY BALLOON SNAKE (DISCOUNTS)."
Adras
"I-I'LL THROW IN CATNIP SEEDS? AND COFFEE?"
Boxbot
He wiggles so wildly trying to buy time.
Boxbot rolls a 20 sided die. A 9 is rolled.
Kratos rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +10. A 23 is rolled.
Kratos
"ESCAPE. NOW." Kratos rips off Boxbot's head, ending his 3rd and final life.
Adras
"I'LL GIVE YOU A BANANA-"
Adras
"FUCK."
Kratos
"Game over!"
Adras
"..."
Circe
"I'll just take the balloons, even though I was told their quality is shabby!"
Circe
"But I totally understand why he said the quality was shabby. After all he had one final quest!"
Adras
"...W-Would you like a receipt with that...?"
Goal: Tell each guest one Bad fact about the item they're looking at. You cannot try to twist it into a positive.
Ex: "This device kills everyone in a mile!" Would be correct!
"This device kills everyone without a mile, which means it's great for war!" Would be wrong.
Powers: You can summon up to 3 chaos rolls.
Circe
"Goodnight sweet Boxbot, see you in our next gameshow!"
Circe
"You were so close to winning...."
Kratos
"Rest Boxbot."
Adras
"...And I'm assuming it doesn't count even though he completed it."
Adras
"...Damn."
Circe
"Hand me that receipt and I'll be out of your hair!"
Adras
Adras hands Circe the receipt.
Circe
"Toodoodles! Sorry about your friend!"
Adras
MOST DAYS IN ADRAS' LIFE ARE THE WORST DAYS IN HIS LIFE. ALSO HE'S FUCKING POISONED.
2024-12-28 03:56:14
Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-28 03:56:21

Adras passes out from the poison.

[Undertale - Bonetrousle (Genocide)]

Adras wakes up, hours later, covered in rats........

Rodent
They're all over him. Crawling on him.....
Adras
2024-12-28 03:57:08
Adras Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-08-04 23:25:37
ADRAS QUICKLY GETS BACK UP, NOT TRYING TO LAUNCH THE RATS, BUT STILL REALLY FUCKING WANTING THEM OFF, WHAT THE FUCK MAN. HOW IS THIS DAY GETTING WORSE?
Rodent
One of the rats motions for Adras to listen to what it has to say.

WARNING: POSSIBLE DEATH

Adras
Adras calmly gets up on his feet.
Adras
He considers the offer.
Adras
He offers the rats a banana, instead.
.............Adras unknowingly commits the most intelligent possible act in the universe.
Rodent
The rats begin to eat the banana. One by one, they all start disappearing until there is only one last rat left.
Rodent
2024-12-28 04:01:40
Rodent Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-08-04 23:26:03
The rat seems a bit puzzled. How in the universe did Adras know that bananas were a time anomaly?
Adras
The secret is...
Adras
They looked hungry and he didn't think much of it.
Rodent
The final rat backs up slightly. Adras doesn't seem to know the magnitude of what he has just done.....
Rodent
Maybe it can just leave.............? The final rat starts waddling towards the exit.
Adras
Adras is a shrewd businessman and in his woozy, poison based mind thinks:
Adras
Wasn't I asked to sell to 4 people?
Adras
He motions towards the rat for payment.
Rodent
The rat looks back at Adras.........It motions for Adras to kneel down so it can talk to him.
Rodent
The rat puts its hands together and bows over and over, as if to show him that it is safe and nothing will happen.
Adras
Adras thinks nothing of it, and kneels down.
Rodent
"Sniff sniff........Many apologizes for what has occurred today...."
Adras
"Oh, no worries, a part of me feels Boxbot was ready for it, and Madam's got her fiance to take care of her. It was a pretty bad day, but that's all it was."
Rodent
"You will not hurt me, if I give you what you would like? Yes?"
Rodent
"I would not hurt me, if I were you. For I am lovely, and my fur is shiny."
Adras
"How could I? Your fur has a nice luster to it."
Rodent
"If you do not hurt me. I will allow you to cup me with both hands, and then your heart will soar, sir."
Rodent
"I can provide other things too. But I believe this will be the best payment of them all, sir."
Adras
"Alright. Will do."
Adras
Adras cups the rat with both hands.
Rodent
"You love this. I know this is true, sir."
Rodent
"If I eat a cracker in your hand, like so, will you fall deeper in love with my lovely eyes, sir?"
Rodent
"Do not look too deeply, sir. My eyes are too great."
Adras
2024-12-28 04:04:57
Adras Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2025-08-04 23:28:00
Adras can only somewhat see straight.

He nods. What little of the eyes he can see through his poisoned and woozy sight on this cracker eating rat in his hands are beautiful.
Rodent
The rat eats a little bit more in Adras hand.
Rodent
"Your life is complete."
Adras
"Sounds nice."
Rodent
"You have just seen the most wonderful thing, sir. Which is me."
Adras
"Thank you."
Rodent
"Sir, you have fed me a banana, do you understand?"
Adras
"I understand. I fed you the banana."
Rodent
"All bananas are the same banana, it is true. Each one you eat is the same. No matter where you find it."
Rodent
"Thus if you ever see a time anomaly, you may stabilize it just a bit by placing a single banana within its confines, sir."
Adras
"That is good advice. Thank you."
Rodent
"Even if it is a god a single banana-" Adras starts to zone out as he looks at a clock. Hours seem to pass in his mind but the clock never moves.
Rodent
"And that is the wonders of the banana."
Adras
"Bananas are wonderful items."
Adras
"Sorry, the banana is a wonderful item."
Adras
"Singular."
Rodent
"When someone listens to me, I spend days, years, centuries speaking to them about the horrors of time. History, sir. Such a scary thing."
Rodent
"But sir, you have fed me a banana, so I have given you the knowledge of the banana. You have mercy on me, sir. So I have mercy on you."
Rodent
"Would you like anything else, sir?"
Adras
"I respect history. It has brought me many things. Thank you for the knowledge."
Adras
"...May I pet you? If that's too far, let me put you back down."
Rodent
"I am the most pettable creature in the universe, sir."
Adras
"That is true."
Rodent
"You will pet me, and for the rest of your life, all will be well."
Adras
"Thank you."
Rodent
The rat nods. "Even if you die. You will think to yourself. What a wonderful day it was, that I got to pet a rat, sir."
Adras
"What a wonderful day, indeed."

Adras pets the rat.
Rodent
"You are a simple man, sir."
Adras
"I try. Thank you for the compliment."
Rodent
"I wish I could pet you as well....maybe your fluff would be even 50% as well as my own? No one has ever reached such powers before."
Adras
"If you want, you can pet me. It's the least I could do."
Rodent
"Thank you for this day, Sir. I will remember this, and for a person like me to remember is very important, sir." The rat jumps down from Adras hand and bites the banana. It pulls it, creating two bananas, and two rats. It splits again, four and four, 16 and 16, 256 and 256, 65536 and 65536.....Adras stops counting at some point....
Rodent
They all disappear one by one, until there is only one last rat and its yellow fruit left behind. "Nothing else? Truly? No greed in your heart, sir?"
Adras
"I only wanted to pet some very nice fur."
Adras
"Thank you."
Rodent
"You are too kind, sir."
Rodent
"I am very greedy on the other hand. The future wants to be and have everything, all at once, sir."
Rodent
The rat yawns as it fades out. "Squeeeeeeee~ But sadly it's not real. No sir." The rat is gone.......
Adras
Adras begins to doze off...

"...It's not real. No sir..."
Adras
"...Ah, the fur certainly felt nice, though."
Adras
He passes out.
Pluto
Pluto comes back to his store, seeing Adras sleeping and two dead Boxbots laying around. ("Really gotta stop hiring piss poor scabs.")
END OF EXPO
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