STORY

STORY

AWW NUTS
[-Yakety Sax-]
2024-12-22 23:02:20
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Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 08:30:01

Let's get right to the point......

CHAOS ROLL

Fortuna rolls a 20 sided die. An 18 is rolled.

The group was there, chasing an ugly abomination of a wumpy through the streets.......

When one of you managed to step on the tail of a blort.....

....Of an alternate universe O-class........

2024-12-22 23:04:53
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Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 08:30:27

...whose yelling alerted O-6, who desperately wants that man dead.....

...whose existence has pissed off the rampaging Kratos.......

.....and all this commotion has attracted Franky the bombat to the scene......

....but it's ok because Franky just yells "Franky!" while chasing after everyone else, thus fails to summon any other nonsense.

O-Hare
2024-12-22 23:13:10
O-Hare Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2024-12-23 14:56:40
"I am formally recommending a truce, so we are not all killed by O-6! OwO"
"Is he still mad about last time?"
O-Hare
2024-12-22 23:15:00
O-Hare Profile
Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2024-12-23 14:56:14
"Is that a joke?.....Oh...right....Zanni. Honk Honk. OwO"
"I'm less concerned about O-6 and more about that fucking Kratos unit!"
"I mean, a chance to kill that asshole is something i'm more than willing to take."
"THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY YOU'RE KILLING ME UNTIL YOU TAKE OUT THAT KRATOS UNIT FIRST, ASSHOLES. >:3"
"Die. Die. DEATH IS THE ONLY ESCAPE FROM BEING IMPRISONED."
Hijo's ears pin back. "Yeah. Um. Anybody got an idea on how to get that AI to calm down?"
"Unless anyone here has a convenient EMP grenade...?"
"I sure wish we had a gun right about now......OwO"
"I mean, I'm a P-class, but nope, I've got nothing like that on me. =3"
A gun would be helpful. Hijo looks around for anything useful.
Juno v42
2024-12-23 13:23:18
Juno v42 Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 08:32:58
"We get it, your centuries in solitary confinement and muzzling by Circe have left you feeling that death is the only escape from the imprisonment that fucking game show offers. But have you considered that maybe anyone stupid enough to join that show deserves it?"
"uh. if anyone DOES have an EMP, i'd hope they'd keep it away from me."
"also yeah i'd say those idiots deserve it."
"No oooone deserves jail."
"I will KILL O-6! And then I will KILL HIM 8 more times! I will protect O-6 from PRISON."
"And some people do deserve death?"
Sir Crustacean is very scared.
"Fuck off! I don't want to die! >:3"
"Not that I'm scared of death. I ain't no pussy cat! >:3"
"They're all in prison forever. Deeeeath is the right choice."
Juno v42
2024-12-23 13:27:37
Juno v42 Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 08:33:24
"Alright this is getting nowhere. O-6. Kratos. How about we sit down like civilized fucking adults and talk this through. Chasing people through the streets isn't going to make them trust you more."
"NO DISCUSSIONS. DEATH PENALTY NOW!"
Juno v42
2024-12-23 13:28:18
Juno v42 Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 08:33:54
"But why though? Don't people deserve to plead their case?"
"I don't think he's gonna listen to reason?"
"that's pretty mean, to kill everyone for no reason."
"maybe dont?"
"Um- uh- Well. =3" P-4076 frantically looks around for anything that can physically stop the rampaging Kratos.
oblivious checks to see if he can find anything either
"Besides, if prison is so bad, why are you killing the victims, and not the perpetrator?"

CHAOS ROLL AT JUNO

Fortuna rolls a 20 sided die. A 7 is rolled.

A giant wumpy appears behind Juno, clamps on to her and shakes her like a rag doll!

"Let it be known that I did not cause that to appear."
"WHERE THE HELL DID THIS THING COME FROM! WARRIOR, GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"
"woah, another cool dog!"
Horseface takes a picture of the sight and posts it on tweeper.
P-4076 also takes a picture of it for personal enjoyment.
"If I were to do something like that, I would do it like this! OwO"

CHAOS ROLL AT THE ORGINAL WUMPY

Fortuna rolls a 20 sided die. A 3 is rolled.
2024-12-23 13:36:08
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Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 08:35:00

THE ORGINAL WUMPY IS NOW EXTREMELY TINY. IT IS HARDER TO CATCH.

Juno v42
2024-12-23 13:37:28
Juno v42 Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:23:28
As the wumpy shakes around Juno she tries to get her thornhead to help her, Juno manages to yell out. "I BET THAT FUCKING CIRCE SUMMONED THIS THING!"
Horseface-12
2024-12-23 13:37:02
Horseface-12 Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:23:28
"Well shit's getting crazy. Let's try this."

Horseface takes a meatcube out from his inventory and tosses it at the giant wumpy, hoping to redirect it's attention from Juno!
Oh shit!!! Hijo attempts to punch the giant wumpy.
Hijo rolls a 20 sided die. A 19 is rolled.

Hijo winds up a punch and knocks Juno right out of the giant wumpy's mouth! The giant wumpy turns around and starts to flee!

The meat cube lands on Juno....

"You're welcome!"
2024-12-23 13:40:19
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Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:23:55

WARK WARK WARK WARK!!!!!

Hoarder the seizing bird starts to attack Juno because it is [Food Aggressive]!

The seizing bird rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +7. A 19 is rolled.

Juno is grabbed and is now being shaken by a seizing bird!

"Oh, shit, right."
"WARRIOR YOU BEAUTIFUL FUCK PLEASE GET ME DOWN FROM THIS FUCKING BIRD."
Oblivious jump to catch the original wumpy
Oblivious rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of -5. A 0 is rolled.
Oblivious tries to catch the orginal wumpy but trips and falls onto O-6. Awkward!

"You fucking idiot!!!! >:3"
"uhh. fancy meeting you here."
Hijo
2024-12-23 13:51:00
Hijo Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 08:40:22
"Fucking BLUE HELL-"

Hijo attempts to pounce on the seizing bird and catch it.
"Goodnight."
Kratos rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +4. A 16 is rolled.
Kratos rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +10. A 15 is rolled.
Oblivious throws the walnut at kratos in self defence (and unfortunately O-6's defence)

THE WALNUT ATTEMPTS TO COUNTER

2024-12-23 13:53:53
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Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2024-12-23 13:55:36

WHY IS THE WALNUT BEING CHAOS ROLLED!!!!!!!!!!

Walnut rolls a 20 sided die. A 19 is rolled.
Horseface starts filming.
P-4076 is next to Horseface, also filming.
Sir Crustacean is concerned at his mother.
[Pokemon Sword & Shield - Gym Leader Battle Music (Cheer)]
2024-12-23 14:00:42
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Posted by ID #2
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:26:12

The power of chaos causes the walnut to grow in size until it's massive! The giant walnut gains +10 attack and protects against Kratos!

O-6
2024-12-23 14:01:32
O-6 Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:27:10
"This is the stupidest shit I've ever seen but I'm going to fucking CHEER for that damn walnut! >:3"
"holy fucking shit."
"RAAAH RAAAH! GET THAT BIRD!!!!!!!!"

The walnut goes for an attack!

[Collateral] flips a 2 sided coin. A 1 is flipped.
"oh no."
"DID THAT FUCKING MAGICIAN PUT YOU UP TO THIS HORSEFACE??? WAS HER CHALLENGE FOR YOU 'GET JUNO EATEN BY THREE ANIMALS?' IS THAT THE BULLSHIT THAT'S GOING ON? FUCK YOU CIRCE, AND FUCK YOUR STUPID FUCKING GAME SHOW."
Speaking of which, Hijo is still attempting to stop the seizing bird currently attacking Juno.
"Is this a bad time to mention that I've got extra lives? ;P"
"What. =3"
"YES THIS IS A VERY BAD TIME."
"Lmao."
Sir Crustacean
2024-12-23 14:04:58
Sir Crustacean Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:27:40
God fucking dammit.
"THIS IS WHY I NEVER TRUST CLOWNS."
2024-12-23 14:05:39
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Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:27:57

The wulnut rejects the idea that it is a savior. A noble being. Fuck that. The walnut attacks its owner (and O-6 just happens to be in the way)!

The walnut rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +16. A 21 is rolled.
2024-12-23 14:06:31
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Posted by ID #2
Last edit: 2024-12-23 19:31:52

The walnut crushes both Oblivious and O-6.

"Holy shit. That's another life down! Nice!"
Kratos has no idea how to react.......
"Okay slay go off. =3" Keep in mind that, while she is stunned, she is still recording.
"YEAH YEAH YOU GOT THE GAME SHOW POINTS NOW GREAT. CAN SOMEONE GET RID OF THIS FUCKING BIRD."
"I don't know, Kratos seems pretty pacified to me. Hey, Kratos! You pacified?"

Warrior the thornhead tries to beat up the seizing bird!

Warrior rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +4. A 12 is rolled.

It gives it a swift kick, Hijo runs in to finish it off!

Hijo rolls a 20 sided die. A 19 is rolled.
2024-12-23 14:11:26
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Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2024-12-23 14:12:23

And with a flying punch, knocks it out and sends it sailing across the street!

Hoot hoot! Hijo gives a rowdy hoot n' holler in celebration.
"Thank you! Now then, if any other animals would like their turn with the chew toy I have apparently become, please wait your turn."
Sir Crustacean scuttles over to Juno.
Hijo growls at Sir Crustacean.
Sir Crustacean scuttles away from Juno and back to his mom (adopted).
"So… are we still going to catch those wumpies or… =3"
"Shit, I forgot about the wumpies."
Sir Crustacean
2024-12-23 14:41:38
Sir Crustacean Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:29:42
He never forgot.
Hijo
2024-12-23 14:40:40
Hijo Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:35:27
"Oh yeah! Lemme try." Hijo attempts to catch the small wumpy!
Kratos glances over at Horseface.
"Contestant." Kratos starts to stomp over to Horseface.
Horseface-12
2024-12-23 14:42:16
Horseface-12 Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:32:13
Horseface shoves P-4076 towards Kratos.
"A-"
Sir Crustacean leaps up to protect her! Only he gets to stab P-4076!
oblivious tells HARBINGER to get up and attack Kratos pretty please
"HARBINGER, PLEASE! IM BEGGING YOU!"
Kratos
2024-12-23 14:43:33
Kratos Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:32:40
Kratos picks up P-4076 and carefully places the notail to the side before pointing at Horseface. "PRISONER. PRISONER!!!"
"Oh okay. =3"
2024-12-23 14:44:06
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Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:32:58

WHO THE FUCK JUST CHAOS ROLLED HORSEFACE.

Horseface-12 rolls a 20 sided die. An 8 is rolled.

A pink balloon snake is summoned!

Horseface can control it for one turn! It has:
[Easily Killed]
[Giveaway]
[Another One!]
[Timebomb]

Horseface looks over at O-Hare.

"Hey! Who would be the funniest person to explode?!"
"You can make someone explode and you're focused on the comedic value?"
Honk.
Sir Crustacean
2024-12-23 14:47:49
Sir Crustacean Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:33:20
Why is he still here. Just to suffer.
"HORSEFACE, PLEASE!! IT'D BE SO FUNNY TO BLOW KRATOS UP!!"
O-Hare
2024-12-23 14:48:16
O-Hare Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:33:31
"I think the funniest person to explode would be yourself, but who am I to decide comedy? OwO"
Horseface-12
2024-12-23 14:48:34
Horseface-12 Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:33:40
Fuck, he really can't argue with that.

Horseface uses [Give Away] to give himself [Timebomb]!
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU."

The balloon leaves after [Timebombing] Horseface.

"A lot!"
"A lot of things presumably??? =3"
"what the fuck."
Hijo
2024-12-23 14:49:43
Hijo Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:37:39
Hijo stops chasing the tiny wumpy and ducks for cover. She isn't getting caught up in a FUCKING EXPLOSION.
O-6 crawls out from under the walnut greatly weakened. "Fuck. Mondays. >:3"

The walnut thinks about who it wants to kill.

The walnut flips a 2 sided coin. A 2 is flipped.
She genuinely doesn't know what to think of this…
…and neither does he.

The walnut launches itself into the air and slams towards Kratos!

The walnut rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +16. A 4 is rolled.

Kratos is crushed to death!



Wait...he's still moving.

"Sorry folks, but what did I say before? The death penalty is unethical, especially for Kratos."
"No matter how much you try to kill him, he'll just keep coming back!"
"Did you know I'm the universe's best necromancer, it's true!"
"WHAT THE FUCK!!!"
"I got rid of the original best necromancer."
"CAN'T YOU GRAB HIM WHILE HE'S DOWN AT LEAST???"
"But hey! Look, he's trying to put himself together. This is a perfect time to catch him!"
"Remember, whoever imprisons him again and gets him muzzled gets a prize! Toodoloo!~" With that the recording of Circe disappears, and a muzzle spawns in the middle of the group.
"YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT COME DOWN HERE SO I CAN RIP OUT YOUR BLESSED VOICEB–"
Juno has had enough. Zannis are mostly air, right? Juno attempts to pick up Horseface and throw him at Kratos.
Horseface tries to kick Juno in the face.

"Hey, Whoa, stranger danger! Honk honk honk!"
Juno v42 rolls a 20 sided die. A 15 is rolled.
2024-12-23 15:00:02
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Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:38:13

Juno swings Horseface at the body of Kratos, just for good measures. Horseface has three more rolls before exploding.

2024-12-23 15:00:27
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Posted by ID #87
Last edit: 2024-12-23 15:02:28

Horseface jumps up and tries to kick Juno in retaliation.

Horseface-12 rolls a 20 sided die. A 7 is rolled.

But misses. Horseface has two more rolls before exploding.

Oblivious
2024-12-23 14:58:14
Oblivious Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:51:08
Oblivious runs over to muzzle Kratos, completely forgetting he wanted to rip out O-6's throat

Oblivious tries to muzzle Kratos.

Oblivious rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +5. A 10 is rolled.
Kratos
2024-12-23 15:12:16
Kratos Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:50:24
And after struggling, gets it back on, just barely! Kratos will remember Oblivious's face now.
"okay cool murder robot muzzled and harmless now."
"....what the fuck do i do about this now...?" he looks at his giant walnut
("Getting fucking out of this mad house.... >:3") O-6 attempts an escape.
O-6 rolls a 20 sided die. A 19 is rolled.

With a sudden burst of speed O-6 escapes the group and climbs up the wall back to the citadel!

"A missed kill...."
Horseface-12
2024-12-23 15:04:07
Horseface-12 Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:48:56
Horseface looks grumpy at missing his kick, but shrugs it off. He looks over at O-Hare.

"Alright, I'm rigged to explode, got anymore suggestions for my act? Juggling, acrobatics, want me to kill someone?"
P-4076
2024-12-23 15:04:18
P-4076 Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:48:48
P-4076 watches the O-Class scale the wall. "Well then. =3"
Juno takes a moment to clean the wumpy and bird slobber off her feathers. "Okay, now that two out of three of our pursuers are dealt with, might I ask you to calm down, sir O-Hare?"
"I regret to inform you I've done nothing this entire event."
O-Hare
2024-12-23 15:05:11
O-Hare Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:54:28
"Just, uh, because I am an entity of chaos does not mean I caused a giant walnut to attack. OwO"
"Are we chill, then?"
"Offers still on the table."
"Yes we are "chill." Just do not step on my tail every again. OwO"
O-Hare
2024-12-23 15:06:36
O-Hare Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:47:20
"*For context this blort is my support animal and stepping on its tail is like stepping on me emotionally."
O-Hare
2024-12-23 15:07:03
O-Hare Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:47:09
*"Calling it my tail is a coping mechanism do not talk to me about it. OwO"
"Apologies. Now then, are those wumpies still here?" Juno checks to see if the small wumpy and the anglerfish one are still in the area.
"Kind of want to talk to you about it."
"Test me like that and you'll uh- undo at least 3 months of anger management therapy. OwO"
"No judgement."
"Kinda weird but valid."
2024-12-23 15:08:20
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Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:46:16

The small wumpy has been moving as fast as it could for the last 10 minutes!..... Sadly it is so small that means it's only gotten 10 feet away. The giant wumpy is nowhere to be seen.

Hijo tries to block the small wumpy and make it easier to catch.
Juno v42
2024-12-23 15:08:32
Juno v42 Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:45:44
Juno just sorta... Cups her hands around it.

Juno and Hijo ignore the chaos around them and work together to try and catch the wumpy!

Fortuna rolls a die betweem 23 and 20 with a modifier of +5. A 28 is rolled.

The tiny wumpy is carefully grabbed and then placed in a plastic cup so it can't escape!

Hijo giggles delightfully at the tiny wump in a cup.
Horseface-12
2024-12-23 15:09:16
Horseface-12 Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:45:03
"So what's with the blort? Is it actually your tail? You one of those kin things? Something like that? Maybe you're just a furry?"
Juno v42
2024-12-23 15:09:47
Juno v42 Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:44:56
Juno grabs Horseface again. And throws him. As hard as she can. Anywhere.
P-4076 backs away. Keep in mind that she hasn't stopped recording.
O-Hare
2024-12-23 15:12:59
O-Hare Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:54:58
O-Hare sighs. "Go...." He pauses, trying to come up with a more 'friendly' term. "Honk yourself. OwO"

CHAOS ROLL

O-Hare rolls a 20 sided die. An 18 is rolled.
Honk.

Horseface disappears.......

"I want you all to know the zanni has been banished to the inner workings of my mental state."
P-4076
2024-12-23 15:14:45
P-4076 Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:55:26
"Okay. =3"
"...you just put a bomb in your head."
Snrk.
"Are there any therapists in that game show? You definitely need to go to one again if that happened."
"It's ok. He is now a conceptual bomb."
"Nothing is worse for a zanni than ruining a joke. OwO"
"huh."
"lmfao."
Juno v42
2024-12-23 15:16:40
Juno v42 Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:56:27
"So is he going to like. Conceptually explode? Are you gonna suddenly have your mind blown?"
"I don't know if either of those sound good. =3"
"Yes indeed. In fact right now. I am imagining the object of my hate, the zanni, standing there."
"And just like my therapist told me to, I'm going to imagine all objects I hate blowing up!"
".............................................................."

HORSEFACE HAS BEEN SLAIN.

"...You know what? Sure. As far as coping mechanisms I've heard of, that's not the worst."
"might keep that in mind."
"unlike horseface."
"What a mood. I imagine things I hate in little jars I can shake around."
She pauses. She stops recording. She turns off her phone and sits down to process everything that happened leading up to this moment.
Juno bursts out laughing. Suddenly, all the tension begins to evaporate.
"FUCK I FORGOT TO RIP O-6'S THROAT OUT."
"DAMN."
Sir Crustacean scuttles to Oblivious.

Horseface rematerializes into the group.

"So, did we all learn a lesson today? OwO"
"I learned a lesson exactly once and that was when I met god. Good try though."
"Actually, I feel like this whole experience was a net loss of information for me."
"Yeah. I'm. Not really sure what the point of everything was."
"If anything, I learned punching animals is fun!"
"Um, watch where you step? Don't rig yourself to explode? Walnuts are deadly? =3"
he looks down at Sir Crustacean. "whats up, lil buddy?"
"Any guesses for what my thing was?" He looks over the group with a little shrug.
"LEAVE."
"I agree with the Juno unit, this entire thing was a total loss."
"But uh, anyway, do you all want to go get milkshakes or something? OwO"
"I'm down."
"Not because I'm lonely or anything. OwO"
"Oh milkshakes sounds lovely."
"I'm down."
"Oooh, yeah! =3"
Sir Crustacean
2024-12-23 15:25:25
Sir Crustacean Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:58:26
He would like a milkshake.
"Always fun to hang out with a fellow chaos entity."
Oblivious
2024-12-23 15:25:57
Oblivious Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:58:37
"Anyone want churros?"
Sir Crustacean
2024-12-23 15:25:32
Sir Crustacean Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:58:44
He would also like a churro.
Juno v42
2024-12-23 15:26:18
Juno v42 Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 09:58:53
"Sure. Just give me a few minutes to clear out my drink storage."

And thus the group all went out for milkshakes, including Franky, who need I remind you was here the entire time.

"Franky!"

[Minecraft Potion Drinking - Sound Effect (HD)]
RESULTS!
"Wow Horseface I gotta say!......"
"I don't know how you forgot that Kratos is only allowed to attack contestants, and those in the way of contestants......"
2024-12-23 15:29:17
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Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 10:00:09
Goal: Make someone on your team accuse you of working for another character (Azathoth, O-6, another O-class, or a Limbo god)
Powers: You can summon a chaos roll at any time. (PM me to do it. Your character will not visually look like they're starting a roll.) You have 3 of those rolls.
Circe
2024-12-23 15:29:51
Circe Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 10:00:20
"But hey, at least those chaos rolls were funny, honk honk!"
"I was trying to make it pretty abundantly clear that I was, like, not working with the group? But I think everyone just kind of started ignoring me. Oh well."
Horseface-12
2024-12-23 15:30:19
Horseface-12 Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-08-04 10:00:37
"Better luck next time. And those chaos rolls were funny. Honk!"
END OF EXPO
No one is typing.