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Home > Expos > Event 4 > Page 39
LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION▼
LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION
[You Call This a Utopia?! - Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Soundtrack]
Zookeeper
"You idiots really thought you could defeat me?"
Zookeeper
"Hmmmmmmm ohohohohoho! What should I do with this gaggle of fools? I have them all wrapped up."
Zookeeper
"No escape. Looks like it's game over boys."
Zookeeper
The crew were tied up with dark wires, it all seemed lost, until, the pets arrived! They've returned to save their owners!

"Can't ever have this be simple, now can I?"

"Hghghghghgh."

Briar
"Well it wouldn't be quite as fun if there wasn't a challenge, now would it?"
Pidge
2024-12-15 15:34:20
Pidge Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 16:26:32
Pidge squirms in his restrains, snapping and whipping his tail. Clearly not in the mood to talk.
Pidge
(Squeek.)
Kobwugni
"Wugh."
Mr 8 Ball
Mr. 8 Ball uses the distraction to drop the capsule he had, and smash it open with his mask.
Mr 8 Ball rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of -6. A 3 is rolled.

The capsule is too [Defensive] to smash open like that! It starts to roll away.

Zookeeper
"........................................"
Zookeeper
("This was supposed to be the scene where you break out of your restraints and attack me. Remember.")
Briar
2024-12-15 15:36:04
Briar Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-15 15:36:35
"Now Greta, sweetheart, could you please do something about these ropes?"
Sinister
"Oh fuck. Right, right."
Bizz
"You folks suck at your lines......"
Karla
"I wasn't given a script."
Bizz
"Where the fuck is Trick!"
Pidge
"HIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS BALLOON RAT RE-RRELEASE ME."
Bizz
Bizz snaps his fingers.

"Are any of you real actors? Come on, not even a school play?"

The dentine hurries to try and break the rope with her teeth!

Pidge
(Squeek.)

Confetti attempts to break the restraints!
2024-12-15 15:48:57
Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-15 15:49:18

The handsome danger'sign (is that type of nudity allowed on tv?!) comes in to bite at the wires and release the people! In his naked essence, he's one to prove himself the hero!

Briar rolls a 20 sided die. A 17 is rolled.
Pidge rolls a 20 sided die. A 20 is rolled.
Sinister rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of -3. A 4 is rolled.

The balloon rat and freaky dentine break their owners out!

Sinister
Sinister isn't impressed.
Pidge
(Party Whistle noises)
Kobwugni
Wugbeni attempts to free Karla with its squishy body.
Kobwugni rolls a 20 sided die. A 4 is rolled.

The other 3 pets stand around, looking fearful.

Zookeeper
"Animal actors are soooooo poor! Can we just bring out the tallgoats?"
Bizz
"They weren't planned for this scene!"
Zookeeper
"Yes, but I think the tallgoats would make things more interesting now."
Sinister
"I'm all for improv, but fellow actors, could you get these bindings off of me? My beetle is useless."
Pidge
"Kikikikikikikiki...." Pidge slithers down, standing by his beloved rat.
Karla
"I'm just saying maybe we should've gotten a script."
Karla
"And some time to, you know, rehearse."
Briar
"Are we going do another take or...?"
Mr 8 Ball
Mr 8 Ball attempts to get out of the restraints himself (not the first time he's been tied up).
Mr 8 Ball rolls a 20 sided die. A 15 is rolled.

Mr. 8 Ball is released!

Trick
Trick stumbles in, slightly singed, carrying a precarious stack of coffee orders and a can of blood red paint.

"Sorry about the delays! There were, complications, and lines. I took care of them."
Briar
"Didn't Bizz put a lot of work into this script? He's a talented guy and I want to make sure his vision is seen."
Zookeeper
"Scripts are boring!"
Bizz
"I am highly offended!"
Pidge
Pidge goes to fetch the capsule that was rolling away, distracted.
Zookeeper
"Live drama shows are far more interesting."
Zookeeper
"And I know how to make drama!"
Bizz
"This is mess, just, bring out the tallgoats, we're doing this live!!!!!"
2024-12-15 16:00:05
Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-15 16:00:25

"Baaaaaa."

Bizz
"...................................................................."
Pidge
"Sheep."
Sinister
"Sheep."
Briar
"That's the least threatening thing I've ever seen."
Bizz
"Folks, whose tallgoat is that? It's not mine."
Karla
"You sure that's a goat?"
Karla
"Also I thought this was a scary movie, that thing's adorable."
Briar
"Isn't it? I mean viewers are gonna eat this up but they aren't going to be scared of a cute little sheep."
Sinister
"You, intern. The one with the coffee. Do your job and help me out, will you?"
Trick
Trick pointedly ignores the intern demand and sets the coffee with "extra meat" near Pidge before setting down the rest of the orders.
Bizz
"Trick, by the way, thanks for coming totally late. I hope you know we had to replace your role with an actual trash fire for one scene."
Zookeeper
"They won't notice the difference!"
Sinister
"...fucking interns..."
Sinister mumbles as he tries to free himself.
Pidge
Coffee coffee coffee coffee drinky meat flavor coffee..... Anyways, Pidge picks up the lost capsule and attempts to open it while the others are busy.
Zookeeper
".....................By the way, why is uh...she still tied up?"
Karla
"Hey sheep-goat, how's about you help a girl out." Karl attempts to goad the tallgoat into freeing her.
Karla rolls a 20 sided die. A 1 is rolled.

The tallgoat uses its spiky legs to stab Karla.

Trick
"Usually I don't think they send actors out to do coffee runs but I'm more used to the stage so what do I know?"
Zookeeper
"........................................"
Briar
"I honestly have no idea what that's about"
Bizz
2024-12-15 18:41:09
Bizz Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 17:11:46
"FOLKS, WHOSE TALLGOAT IS THAT? CAUSE IT AIN'T MINE!"
Sinister
"You're saying a stray tallgoat just wandered onto the scene?"
Pidge
"W-wolf. In Sheeps Clothing."
Briar
"Biz do you think you can stop it from trying to kill the actors?"
Trick
2024-12-15 18:41:22
Trick Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 18:16:19
"...It's kind of badass, though. You still rolling?"
Kobwugni
"wugh!?" Kobwugni attempts to protect Karla with its squishy body.
Kobwugni rolls a 20 sided die. A 3 is rolled.

Kobwugni trips over.

It lays down.

And cries.

It can't do a single thing right in its life.

Karla
"That's okay, I still love you."
Bizz
"HELLO?????? SOMEONE IS BEING MURDERED BY A TALLGOAT. IS ANYONE GOING TO DO ANYTHING!?!?!"
Sinister
2024-12-15 18:44:54
Sinister Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 17:12:58
"We're recording the universe's funniest moments here???"
Briar
"Did the camera catch that? That was sad and great."
Pidge
"Is it not called... a bl-bllhh blooper reel? Ha."
Zookeeper
"These people care about the views more than you do, Bizz."
Zookeeper
"You should take some pointers."
Karla
"Yes I would like to be not stabbed thank you."

The tallgoat attempts to stab Karl again!

Fortuna rolls a 20 sided die. A 5 is rolled.

But misses!

Briar
2024-12-15 18:49:01
Briar Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 16:51:55
"Listen, it's fine as long as you don't die! Just hang in there and we'll intervene before it gets bad. That's what showbiz taught me anyway."
Mr 8 Ball
Mr 8 Ball has gotten his capsule back by now.
Briar
"Greta is also physically incapable of hurting another creature."
Sinister
Sinister's dan'gersign, the shell-less hero goes to fight off against the tallgoat!
Sinister rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of -3. A 2 is rolled.

The dan'gersign starts to attack Sinister!

Sinister stares in utter contempt.
Karla
2024-12-15 18:50:31
Karla Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 16:49:50
"Just so you know, if I'm playing the damsel-in-distress, I want a raise."
Zookeeper
"I suppose I could at least pretend to care....."
Zookeeper
"There is a person literally dying and we are all watching this happen."
Trick
"Okay this is maybe getting out of hand. You guys have like, tamed your creatures, right?"
Pidge
".....Mhh. C-ccconfetti. Make the sheep. Stop."
Pidge
(Squeek.)
Pidge rolls a 20 sided die. An 18 is rolled.

The mallon balloon bats away the tallgoat, the tallgoat attacks back!

Fortuna rolls a 20 sided die. A 19 is rolled.

The mallon has popped!

Pidge
2024-12-15 18:52:35
Pidge Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 14:43:55
" ..."
Briar
"..."
Trick
2024-12-15 18:57:14
Trick Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 16:50:28
"..."
Sinister
"..."
Karla
"!!!"
Mr 8 Ball
"..."
Pidge
"MY BALLOON."

In its place rises.....

An ugly snakevine, crawling its way out of the dead balloon!

Briar
"Oh heck man, I'm real sorry that happened to you."
Briar
"But also why was that in your balloon?"
Trick
2024-12-15 18:59:58
Trick Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 16:54:17
"Oh my god it's so gross. Incredible."
Sinister
"That's the second time I've ever seen the miracle of birth and I'm not happy."
Pidge
"Animals of many talentsssssssssss."
Karla
"Wow that's weird."
Zookeeper
"Folks....."
Zookeeper
"It's one tallgoat how hard could it be?"
Briar
"Look I'll try my best and see what happens.. Greta go and give that sheepy a kissy."

The dentine tries to tackle the tallgoat and lick it.
Briar rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of -10. A 3 is rolled.

THE TALLGOAT IS ENRAGED BY THIS UNCHARMING FRIENDSHIP ATTEMPT.

Zookeeper
"Karla. I think you're about to die."
Karla
"Wouldn't be the first time."
Zookeeper
"Nice meeting you while it lasted, cutie!"
Karla
"That's still weird."
Briar
"See this is why I didn't try to help."
Fortuna rolls a 20 sided die. A 10 is rolled.

Karla is stabbed again.

Bizz
"I seriously cannot believe what's happening right now...."
Kobwugni
2024-12-15 19:11:33
Kobwugni Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 17:18:17
"!!??!" Kobwugni attempts to protect Karla with its squishy body once again.
Kobwugni rolls a 20 sided die. An 8 is rolled.

Kobwugni jumps in the way!!!!

But......blocks the wrong spot.

She's useless. Utterly useless.

Karla
"Sweetie, you're doing great."
Mr 8 Ball
The kitsche in the 8 ball mask walks up to Zookeeper. "I have to admit, this tall goat is a tricky one, any tips?"
Trick
2024-12-15 19:15:27
Trick Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 16:56:31
Trick thinks that maybe he should help these hired "professionals" and tries to restrain the goat himself, hold it in place at least.
Trick rolls a 20 sided die. A 15 is rolled.

Trick binds the tallgoat, preventing it from attacking for a short moment!

Sinister
Sinister tries to leave the restraints once more. Karla is dying by stab wounds, but he's dying faster of shame.
Sinister rolls a 20 sided die. A 6 is rolled.

Sinister fails to escape. Everyone is watching Sinister fail to escape. The embarrassment is too much.

Roll for embarrassment damage.

Sinister rolls a 20 sided die. A 9 is rolled.
Pidge
"Ha."
Trick
"For fuck's sake it's prop rope they're not even tied with real knots!" Trick shouts, still holding this dang goat.

Sinister is insulted.

Pidge
Pidge gently peels away a piece of petal meat from his snake to offer the Goat. Peace offering.
Pidge rolls a 20 sided die. A 17 is rolled.

The tallgoat partakes in the meat happily!

Pidge
"It. Has been placated. With the meats."
Briar
2024-12-15 19:20:19
Briar Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-15 19:22:40
"Oh wait I forgot, Greta just bite her out of the ropes!"

Greta stares at her owner for a full minute before going to bite at Karla's bindings
Briar rolls a 20 sided die. An 11 is rolled.

Karla is barely nibbled out of her bindings.

Karla
"Oh thank goodness, finally."
Briar
"Sorry for the long wait, honestly forgot I could tell her to do that."
Karla
"That's fine, It's only a few mildly severe stab wounds."
Karla
"I've had worse."
Briar
"Troubling!"
Sinister
"Considering your wug's efforts to defend you, not surprising."
Karla
"Don't be mean to Kobwugni, she's trying her best."
Sinister
2024-12-15 19:24:11
Sinister Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-15 19:25:59
"What she's going to do? Try her best to defend herself from all the emotional damage?"
Kobwugni
"T_T"
Briar
"Yeah I hate to be a downer but I have to agree with the goat guy. She flopped like 5 times, viewers love it but as an owner it's gotta be a little disappointing."
Pidge
"It is not surprising. Forrrhh it is. A slug."
Briar
"Really? Thanks for teaching me something new about wugs."
Mr 8 Ball
Mr 8 Ball tosses a capsule up and tries to catch it.
Mr 8 Ball rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of -6. A 10 is rolled.

The orb barely creeks open!

Zookeeper
".............................................................."
Pidge
"KIKIKIKIKIKIIKIKIKIKI...................."
Zookeeper
"Why is it making a ticking noise?"
Karla
2024-12-15 19:30:57
Karla Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 17:41:04
"Should we be worried about that?"
Briar
"Wait are they not supposed to do that?"
Bizz
"Oh shit-"
Sinister
"..."
Pidge
"kikikiKIKIKIKIKIKIKIKIKIKIKI....."
Bizz
"No....one....move...."
Mr 8 Ball
"Interesting."
Sinister
"Slowly, someone get me the fuck out of here... Slowly..."
Trick
"I should have taken longer getting coffee."
Zookeeper
"It was nice working with you all today!"
Zookeeper
"But I think our little game is over."
Zookeeper
"Hope you all had a blast!"

The cekeki glows bright white!

Briar
"Haha better say my last prayers then."
Mr 8 Ball
"Oh. Dammit." Mr 8 Ball carefully sets the cekeki down and tightens his cloak.
Trick
2024-12-15 19:34:39
Trick Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 17:43:28
Trick... looks away from the explosion, trying to seem like he is completely unconcerned.
Karla
Karla looks for a camera. "Hey if any of you guys see this, know that I love you so much."
Pidge
"FIX THIS. FIX IT, FIX IT."
Briar
"Let The Sleeper know he can go shove it!"
Fortuna rolls eight 20 sided dice with a modifier of +14. A 23, 19, 15, 21, 31, 16, 19, and 33 is rolled.
Kobwugni
Kobwugni attempts one last time to be the hero.
Kobwugni rolls a 20 sided die. A 14 is rolled.

Kobwugni finally becomes a hero, and protects her owner from the blast at the cost of her own wuggy life.

Never forget.

2024-12-15 19:44:09
Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-15 19:44:17

Briar barely survives!

8 ball survives!

Trick completely dodges it with little damage!

Karla was protected.....

Sinister is knocked out!

Pidge is hurt but is mostly fine!

Zookeeper is hurt but mostly fine!

Bizz is knocked out!

Zookeeper
"Bizz!"
Mr 8 Ball
Mr 8 Ball coughs and attempts to get up.
Briar
"How the heck did any of us survive that?"
Pidge
"HHHHhhh hhh...hh.." Pidge was blown against a wall, he slowly peels off.
Karla
"Kobwugni!"
Zookeeper
"Ooooh poor Bizz, killed, just like that....."
Trick
"Naturally, I-"
Trick
"Oh shit, Bizz."
Pidge
"D-dead, dead? Dead fairy?" Pidge investigates...
Karla
"Oh is he also dead."

Bizz is pretending to be dead.

Pidge
Pidge is drooling.
Zookeeper
Zookeeper checks his lines.
Zookeeper
"Alas......it was the tallgoats who won this day...."
Mr 8 Ball
Mr 8 Ball pulls out a stick from his inventory and limps over to Bizz as fast as he safely can. "Fuck-fuckfuck."
Briar
Briar shakily pulls themselves off of the floor to try and check on Bizz, picking him up. "The poor guy just wanted to make a great movie with an A-List script and D-List acting."
Karla
"Uh yeah, alas this poor fairy boy."
Karla
("I don't actually know who this is, everyone else just seemed to know him and I didn't want to be left out.")
Zookeeper
"The tallgoats.....have finally had their revenge."
Zookeeper
"Annnnnnnnnnd- cut!"
Bizz
Bizz gets up.

"H-hhhhhhh......we really should have used stunt doubles for that scene....."
Trick
"Good scene everybody! Totally knew it was fine!"
Mr 8 Ball
"Hard to find believable stunt doubles here, I'm afraid."
Briar
"But think of how much better this sells it."
Briar
"Seriously is there even another fairy on this planet?"
Pidge
"Oh... you're alive.. Ha. Ha.."
Bizz
"Haha! I'm alive!......"
Pidge
"Congratulations."
Karla
"Wow. Amazing."
Trick
2024-12-15 19:53:26
Trick Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 17:51:45
"Did you get a closeup on me? I'm pretty sure I looked super cool."
Bizz
"Get this man away from me right now."
Trick
Trick picks up Bizz to move away from Pidge.
Pidge
"Mmrgh."
Sinister
Sinister is bound, and knocked the fuck out.
Karla
"Somebody should probably help this robot."
Pidge
Pidge gnaws on Sinister's restraints.
Pidge rolls a 20 sided die. A 3 is rolled.

Pidge instead gnaws on Sinister.

Sinister
He's never getting out.
Karla
"That's uh, probably not helping."
Pidge
"Hhhhkikikikiki."
Mr 8 Ball
Mr 8 Ball looks over Bizz, and everyone else in the room in order of injury.
Briar
"Hey whatever happened to that sheep?"
Bizz
"You can take the tallgoat, it's right over there."
Briar
"Oh great, thanks, I mean was this really not yours? If it wasn't it really did everything right regardless. Happy to have it."
Bizz
"Man, revenge of the tallgoats 5.6 Remix Director's Cut is going to rock."
Bizz
"See, I don't know if I told you all, but the idea is that the movie gets to you, but it's scratched as blue hell."
Bizz
"So, you can ONLY see the blooper reels and director commentary. Which you'll use to figure out what really happened in the movie."
Pidge
".....Blooper.. reel... does not, a mmmoovvieee maakkeee..."
Karla
"That's a really... daring strategy."
Briar
"Isn't that kind of complicated? I mean whose going to figure that out?"
Mr 8 Ball
"...I like it."
Mr 8 Ball
"I'm also a detective."
Pidge
"I want my pay. Check."
Bizz
"And through the whole thing, you'll realize that revenge of the tallgoats was a nightmare of a production, filled with dire events, all much scarier than the tallgoats!"
Zookeeper
"It's kind of stupid."
Bizz
".............................................................."
Bizz
"Y-Yeah it's kind of stupid........................"
Bizz
2024-12-15 20:03:10
Bizz Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-15 20:03:19
"Maybe I need to go back to Revenge of the Tallgoats 2."
Karla
"It doesn't sound that stupid."
Trick
"Art is, uh, an evolving process, right?"
Briar
"Woah, woah, woah, I still like it quite a bit even if I don't entirely get it. Let the guy have his vision, I'm sure there's an audience out there."
Bizz
"Nah....Zoo man is right. Only like, 10 people are going to be into this shit."
Zookeeper
"And one of them is going to be your mother!"
Pidge
"........"
Briar
"But all 10 are going to love it!"
Karla
"And you should embrace those 10 people like I embrace dear sweet Kobwugni."
Bizz
"Yeah.....lets get Kobwugni to a vet, she seems to have thought you were in real danger."
Karla
"Oh right."
Zookeeper
"The other 9 will be me."
Pidge
Pidge wheezes out a chuckle, coming to a conclusion. "Funny. Funny. The fairyyyyhhh is. A dd-dddoor mat."
Bizz
"I am not a doormat!"
Briar
"I mean you did just roll over because someone insulted your idea."
Pidge
"The robot speaaks. You listen."
Bizz
"Look, I like the idea I came up with!"
Bizz
"But I want people to watch my movies."
Bizz
"If I wanted 10 people to watch my movies, I wouldn't give a shit. I WANT people to watch."
Briar
"Yeah but why do you care how many? Isn't any audience who loves it more than enough?"
Bizz
"Dude, I just said I want people to watch my movies!"
Bizz
"Zoo man just gives me a way to get more eyes on me. But I want those eyes!"
Zookeeper
"It's true, if he didn't want attention, I wouldn't even recommend these things."
Zookeeper
"I'd just find someone else who craves it. There's a million of them out there!"
Briar
"But is it your movie if it isn't your idea?
Bizz
2024-12-15 20:09:33
Bizz Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 17:28:20
"You stupid, man?"
Bizz
"Doesn't matter how good your movie is if no one watches it."
Bizz
"Maybe you're happy having your flick be shoved in a corner for no one to see, but I'm not."
Briar
"Well fair enough I guess, whatever makes you happy in the end." Briar heads off to collect their tallsheep.
Karla
"I mean its no skin of my non-existent bones, I don't even watch your movies in the first place."
Pidge
"Yoouuu give up. So easillyyyy.."
Pidge
"I want. My paychecckkikikikikikikikikikikiki."
Bizz
"Dude, you can't insult me."
Bizz
Bizz points at Pidge.

"You are literally the manifestation of a brand."
Bizz
"Don't talk to me about attention!"
Pidge
"Hiisssssssssssss...."
Trick
"I feel like this production is losing the plot a little bit but I believe in the vision at least. We can probably find the right level to hit along the way."
Briar
"Come on folks, let's leave these fine folks to their movie making. We've finished the scene and I hear there's a hot new bartender in town."
Bizz
"Man.....it's like, I think Revenge of the Tallgoats 2 was the better idea. Zapp was right!"
Zookeeper
"Zapp was right!"
Bizz
"Anyway, we're done here. I don't think I'm going to keep doing this. I'm pretty sure I'll get sued for sending fucked up dvds anyway."
Sinister
By Sinister. Sinister will definitely sue if any of this airs. He's still on the pole, knocked out.
Zookeeper
"Someone will somehow cut themselves on it, and then the lawsuit will destroy you!"
Zookeeper
"Really, we should just film the first one."
Bizz
2024-12-15 20:16:52
Bizz Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 17:04:14
"No way! Revenge of the Tallgoat 1 is a sequel and I will not back down on this!"
Karla
"Have you tried just making a movie?"
Trick
2024-12-15 20:16:31
Trick Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 17:31:45
"...Okay but like did you try to at least make that trash fire you used while I was gone like, moderately handsome? This is important."
Pidge
"Mmh. Mmmhhh. Sheep. Sheep. "
Zookeeper
"Fine, but I'm just saying this out of order thing will never catch on....."
Bizz
"It will."
Bizz
2024-12-15 20:18:13
Bizz Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-15 20:18:52
"It better....."
Pidge
"Paycheck."
Bizz
"ANYWAY THAT'S A WRAP FOLKS YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO HOME BUT YOU SURE AS FUCK CAN'T STAY HERE!"
Bizz
2024-12-15 20:19:14
Bizz Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 17:05:02
"Also yes Trick, we dressed up the trash fire."
END SCENE
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