The job was annoying, but Shelia wanted to get all the questions of "Where is Princess?" out of the way. She was half way down Princess' phone contact list. The amount of questions were getting tiring. It was the same thing every single time.

The next contact on the list said "My Bitch (Ex)". Hopefully there would at least be a little bit of humor to be had in this. Sheila gives the contact a call.

"Hi, Bitch (Ex). ;)"

There's a disappointed sounding sigh down the line.

"Salutations, bitch (current and future). You are calling me, because?"

"Oh hohoho! I just wanted to update you that the previous owner of this device has died, and will no longer be able to speak with you. If you're a politically important figure, I would like to note down your importance to my job."

"I am forced to do the duties of the previous owner or be killed, you understand? Would you be a dear and help me avoid the notail guillotine? I've heard it's an unpleasant death. ;)"

"..."

Princess did not do pranks where she pretends to be dead. They barely spoke at all, these days. Even Tweeper arguments about social topics were uncommon.

"Why do you speak like Princess's head associate?"

"It is because instead of killing one of them so the other could live, they both decided they would rather die together and leave the husk that remained to do their paperwork."

"Oh ho ho! What a funny story it is."

"Please understand my pain. ;)"

"That is... Was... Extremely irresponsible of her. I'm not sure exactly what the logistics on that kind of thing are."

"So, you happen to be an amalgamation of the two of them, curs-... blessed... to be your own person?"

"I would tell you to ask both of them what their logic behind this was, but I'm the only "witness.""

"I suppose you could consider it a mix of being tired, and love? I don't like to dwell on it. It feels like I'm invading their privacy."

"I understand the feeling. There are too many ghosts in that situation. Metaphorical ghosts, that is."

"But I suppose if those dunces didn't want someone looking into their memories, they would have tried to store them far away from my existence. A bullet would have worked fine, ho ho! ;)"

A brief silence is left in the conversation. But Life goes on.

"So, familiar stranger. To answer your initial question, I am known as the Legate of Life. An alien to you, I am a senior leader of the metima species. I have worked closely with your predecessor on many occasions."

"Despite not being on good terms with her for personal reasons."

"Yes, I did notice you're listed as "Bitch (ex)" in here and was going to ask why this-"

The flicker of a question in her mind causes memories that she did not own to offer themselves to her against her will. "..why this was the case! Seems like a funny story. ;)" Sheila asks, even though she remembered "their" history.

The relationship between Princess and Life. The teachings Life gave her, and how it all soured, as Princess became embittered by the lack of results she was able to get in her O-class position.

"Oooh, but you don't have to answer, it's ok. I don't need to know. ;)" But she was forced to know.

Even through the bad phone connection, there's a notable flatness to Life's voice.

"That's for the best. It's a miserable story, and then everyone died. I'll avoid mentioning it."

"Ah, that sounds terrible, but I hope you can take joy in the memories of happier days! ;)"

"Unless the happy memories haunt you. ;)"

Like they did with her. It was awful, having happy dreams of interacting with those you did not know or did not want to meet again.

" . . . "

Life is silent, for slightly too long a time. She can't think of a time she isn't drowning in this kind of memory. Memories stolen and unearned.

"Ahem. In any case, what is your name, familiar stranger? I imagine I'll have to work with you again at some point, so unless you prefer to go by the O-4, it would be useful to know."

To help exorcise some no longer relevant memories, at least.

"Sheila's the name, but I can work with Bitch (present and future). Pleasing to talk with you, at least you're of faster wit compared to the rest when it comes to understanding the whole situation. ;)"

"Very well, Sheila. I will remember this. As a major diplomatic supporter of the Union, I'm sure we'll encounter each other somewhat regularly, but I will wish you well for now."

"Here is to a brighter future!"

These were words that had been said before.

"To a bright-er future! ;)"

Shelia ends the call and changes the contact info from Bitch (Ex) to Diplomat (Life).

"Better to not dwell on it. Keep those anomalies at bay. She clearly doesn't want to engage as much as I do. ;)"

"Now, let's see, the next one on the list, Yung Ho (O-6 (Ex (Joke))). Ho hoo, this will be fun. ;)"

The office was dark again. The Legate of Life clicks her phone off and stands there.

It smashes into a pile of old and expensive valuables with a crashing noise.

"I can't believe..."

"That being happy and content really did kill you off in the end. :)"

"Fuck."

"I do have to admire you for managing to do it in the least convenient and most frustrating way possible, for us all. I suppose."

The legate flips on her desk lamp and flips through a stack of old files, until she reaches the one with "PRINCESS" written in marker over the printed "O-4".

The ancient newspapers and clippings inside the folder are beginning to fall apart, into dust. Life looks through them for a while.

Then drops the folder into the waste paper basket. Only the headline "A NEW HOPE FOR NOTAILS?" is visible.

"I guess that's that. You awful, hateful, spiteful person."

"It's... Over."