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Home > Expos > Event 5 > Page 44
A MILLION DEATHS▼
A MILLION DEATHS
[Igorrr - Phasme Obèse]

This scavenger hunt, sucked.

"Squawk!!!!!"

Longfur
Longfur pushed a cage with a strange seizing bird in it. It flickered in and out of existence. Longfur turned over a note, unsure of what it said.
Longfur
"Mmmmmmmm.......Gran! I need your....assistance."
2024-12-19 04:45:58
Profile
Posted by ID #53
Last edit: 2025-11-16 21:58:20

Longfur shoved the cage against a wall, causing the lock to open, and for the seizing bird to fly out of the home through an open window.

Longfur
"Grrrr, fuck. Whatever, didn't want it anyway." Longfur pockets the note and exits the room.

A group of scavenger hunters were seeking out a bird. The night was growing dark, but they couldn't go back losers to the event. They knew where they could find a bird. Longfur had plenty of animals, and a window she kept open far too often.

Amy
"You. Extral. We're looking for a flickery sort of bird, contact said he saw it flying into this house. If anything goes wrong you're the scapegoat, I'm not paying you (No really, I'm not) to not take a bullet or two for us."
Amy
"You've got that blessed axe, right, notail? We haven't introduced ourselves to each other, but that doesn't really matter at the moment."
Knight
"Mmhm! If anyone gives us trouble, well...this took out a dragon! -^-"
Knight
"I hope I don't have to axe anyone that isn't a dragon though, that feels like it'd be rude. -^-"
Seven
He snorts, shooting a glare at that dashing little beast of an eeeman.

"God, I fucking hate birds."
Seven
"The only reason I'm doing this bullshit is because I need a shrimp out of one of these scavenger hunts. This place has got to have 'em, right?"
Seven
"Because I've got a bone to pick with one of those little fuckers."
Amy
"Great, we'll have you carry the bird once we get it out, extral. Contact mentioned a lot of anomalous energy coming from the house, so I wouldn't be surprised if there was indeed a shrimp inside it, and you're only getting it if you help out."
Amy
"Get that pig of yours to look for an entrance, could you? I'd rather not have to actually break through a door."
2024-12-19 04:50:25
Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-19 04:50:32

There's a window open.

It's not a secret.

Seven
"Goody, charity."
Seven
2024-12-19 04:50:51
Seven Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-19 04:51:00
"You people are loud as hell, so let me go in first. Step back, watch it happen. Sit, Harwon."

He uses his awesome super stealthy extral skills to face the window.
Knight
Knight watches.
Seven rolls a 20 sided die. A 16 is rolled.

SEVEN DISCOVERS AN OPEN WINDOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seven
HE'S GOING IN.
Seven rolls a 20 sided die. An 11 is rolled.
2024-12-19 04:52:32
Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-19 04:52:48

Seven enters the window like a normal person breaking and entering into someone's house. Inside many animals cry out, begging Seven to release them from their prison.

But one catches his eye.

"Sssseven....."

"Seven! Seven!"

A quirky mushbird that loved to say the word seven.

Seven
"................."
Seven
2024-12-19 04:54:26
Seven Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-19 04:54:36
"Ffff... ooookayyy... Think I found a bird, guys-"
Knight
Knight follows up over to the window, peeking in. "Wow, that's a lot of very loud animals. -^-"

Knight climbs in, too.
Amy
Amy tries to follow through the window. Did you know eeemen are like fucking huge and big and have huge fucking legs? They're so big it's so freaky.
Amy rolls a 20 sided die. A 19 is rolled.

It is a king sized window.

Step in king.

With grace only befitting a 19.
Pidge
A cage in another corner of the room holds a particularly ugly mushbird, pecking at the lock to its cage but with no avail. As the troupe enters the room through the window, it looks up towards an all too familiar face..

"Y-YYOU!" ..Of course, no words, only a 'Honk' is heard by the group. Pidge pushes his beak through the cage bars as far as he can stand it.
Seven
He does his best to stifle his shout, but hisses at the animal honking at him.

"EW!! What the fuck is-"
Seven
"....................."
O-11
"Sniff.....Who is that, Buckingham?"
Seven
"Ohhh nuh-uh. Oh, you fucked up, little guy."

Ignoring his target and his teammates, Seven begins marching over towards Pidge.
Pidge
Pidge hisses at Seven, wings flapping and gnawing at the bars. Ignoring O-11 mostly, although the two still have their 'hands' joined...

"S-SSEVEN! SEVEN, S-SSS- HHH!! SEVEN FREE ME!! FREE ME FREE ME!!!"
Amy
Amy gasps at the sight of the fucked up mushbird.

"Oh fuck the gods that has to be the ugliest thing I've ever seen."
Amy
"T-thankfully that's not the bird we're looking for."
Pidge
"I-I'LL SHHHHOW YOU UGLY. FREE ME GG-GODS BLESSED YOU ALL." The bird is going fucking ballistic inside its cage.
Knight
Knight, completely ignoring these antics, decides to try blocking the door to the animal room with the largest and heaviest looking cage. Just in case.
Knight rolls a 20 sided die. A 20 is rolled.
2024-12-19 05:02:53
Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-19 05:04:18

Knight blocks the door as Pidge screams in his cage. The rabbit linking "hands" with him begins to scream as well due to the loud noise.

The door to the room shifts as someone tries to open it.

Seven
Seven attempts to retrieve the cage from the pile it sits in. His voice is too loud to be a whisper by now.

"You motherfucker. Shut the fuck up and listen to me! You're going to get us-"
Longfur
"Are the fucking animals fighting? What's going on?"
Seven rolls a 20 sided die. A 3 is rolled.

As Seven gets close to the cage another animal bites him in an attempt to beg for his attention.

Longfur attempts to push the door open.

Longfur rolls a 20 sided die. A 17 is rolled.
Amy
Amy loudly whispers. It's about time shit started to go down.

"OK, I THINK THE HOMEOWNERS ARE HERE, WE HAVE TO BE QUICK, NOTAIL, KEEP AN EYE ON THE DOOR, I'M GOING TO TRY TO OPEN THE PURPLE MUSHBIRD'S CAGE. EXTRAL, QUIET DOWN THE RABBLE, WOULD YOU?"
Longfur
While not fully unjam the door is kicked just open enough for her to stick her head in.

"Intruders? Again? Can you people leave my fodder animals alone!"
Amy
"Oh, fuck, that's the tailed."
Longfur
"Or... Are you delivering shrimp?"
Knight
"No, I'm pretty sure this is a robbery. -^-"
Longfur
"I'll murder you!"
Pidge
Pidge pants, looking towards the barricaded door, then back at Seven. He growls, gripping his rabbit.

"Ssit still." Pidge makes an attempt to peck the lock open!
Pidge rolls a 20 sided die. A 6 is rolled.

Pidge fails to open the locked cage!

Seven
"Hhhhh I am NOT leaving without this bird."

Seven attempts to KICK the door back closed, regardless of the tailed!
Seven rolls a 20 sided die. A 9 is rolled.

Seven kicks the door but it only taps Longfur's face!

O-11
"Dark Prince, let me he-help."
O-11 rolls a 20 sided die. A 3 is rolled.

O-11 tries to open his cage, but he panicks and returns to holding Pidge's hand.

Pidge
2024-12-19 05:19:42
Pidge Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2025-11-16 22:05:51
"Uu-uusssleesss...." Pidge grips O-11's paw. "It's abb-bout.. to get rough... y-you do not. Leave without Me."
Amy
"N-notail? I think we could use your axe right about this moment! Help me get this cage open before the tailed gets through that door!"

LEAVE IT TO THE PROFFESSIONALS. WE EEEMEN HAVE GOT KICKS. WE'RE KICKING THAT DOOR CLOSED TOO.
Amy rolls a 20 sided die. A 1 is rolled.

THE EEEMAN KICKS THE DOOR SO BADLY HE BREAKS A SMALL TOE.

Knight
Knight pulls out his axe, and prepares to just hack the bird's cage open.
Knight rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +8. An 18 is rolled.

Knight breaks open Pidge's cage!

O-11
O-11 looks at the fact that his cage is not open yet and holds on to Pidge even tighter. "As long as you don't lea-leave without me."
Pidge
"B-bbe patient." Pidge lets go of O-11 momentarily.
Longfur
2024-12-19 05:21:20
Longfur Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-19 05:23:42
Longfur attempts to get in!
Longfur rolls a 20 sided die. A 5 is rolled.

But the final push is too hard!

Amy
"I-I meant the cage of the bird we're actually trying to get! Fine! Ok, let's just, let's just rob them blind then! We're taking the bird, the ancient mallon, AND the other bird!"

OPENING THE ORIGINAL MUSHBIRD'S CAGE.
Amy rolls a 20 sided die. A 7 is rolled.

The cage is shaken but not opened!

Knight
"You should really be more specific. -^-"

...Knight does really want that bunny, though. He goes to hack open that cage, too!

Knight is unable to move! The axe demands that Knight sings a short poem about his actions, or be punished.

Amy
2024-12-19 05:25:54
Amy Profile
Posted by ID #53
Last edit: 2025-11-16 22:07:16
"IS YOUR AXE ACTING UP NOW OF ALL TIMES??? THAT'S A POETNIX BLESSING ISN'T IT? SING TO IT, READ IT A STORY OR WE WILL ALL DIE HERE OR GET TURNED INTO DOGS."
Knight
Knight clears his throat.

"There once was some thieves in a house, who sounded more like elephant than mouse. One hacked open a cage, of a bird who did rage, and they all ran off before they got trounced. -^-"
Knight rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +8. A 21 is rolled.

Knight busts open the rabbit cage!

Seven
"Fine, whatever, Harwon, get those people their horrible bird!! And you, get off of MY bird!!"

Seven scruffs the rabbit, yanking it into the air.
O-11
The rabbit jumps on Pidge as soon as it sees an escape route, but Seven grabs it by the scruff!

"Buckingham, help! P-Please."
Amy
"Ok, we're good for the moment let's give this another try. You better not let that rabbit go, extral."

OPEN THIS FUCKING CAGE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MY LEGS ARE LIKE 99% CONCENTRATED MUSCLE PLEASE KICK THE LAST CAGE OPEN.

Longfur kicks open the door.

Longfur
2024-12-19 05:29:06
Longfur Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-19 05:30:47
"HANDS OFF MY RABBIT!!!"
Seven
"STEP OFF, BUSHTAIL."
Amy
"WE'RE NOT GOOD THE TAILED GOT THROUGH THE DOOR, I REPEAT, WE'RE NOT GOOD."
Amy rolls a 20 sided die. A 4 is rolled.
2024-12-19 05:34:12
Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-19 05:35:05

THE EEEMAN HURTS HIS FOOT ON THE CAGE.

Longfur leaps forward towards Seven!

Pidge
2024-12-19 05:35:32
Pidge Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-19 05:36:20
"MY RABBIT! MY RABBIT! MY RABBIT, YY-YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM!!!!"

PIDGE, ENRAGED, ATTEMPTS TO TAKE BACK HIS RABBIT.

Pidge grabs the Rabbit from Seven as Longfur grabs Seven, turning him into a basudarex and slamming him into a wall.

Seven
"!!!!!?!?!!"
Seven
"NO! THIS ISN'T FUCKING POSSIBLE!! PIDGE, GET HIM TO FUCKING STOP!!"

But he has no clue. To the rest of the party, a fat, cranky lizard continues to hoarsely bark at them.
Amy
Worst day of his nails. Fuck. HOW IS EVERYTHING GOING SO WRONG?
Knight
"The owner burst in- what a fright! She looked like she wanted a fight! Little did she know, of her god-blessed foe, who's axe did bid her goodnight! -^-"

Knight tries to whack Longfur over the head with the blunt side of his axe!
Knight rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +8. A 28 is rolled.

Knight slams into Longfur's head, throwing her off balance and scrambling for the corner of the room.

Longfur
"If I can't have my rabbit, nor can you!" Longfur goes to grab O-11, hands lighting up with energy!
Pidge
Pidge screeches, and prepares to lunge but hesitates as Longfur prepares Something.
Amy
"I'm not letting today pass without some kind of gain!"

WE'RE USING EEEMAN PSYCHIC POWERS TO GRAB O-11 TOO!! IT'S A CLASH!!! PLEASE DON'T BE +30!!!!!
Pidge
"Y-YOU'RE RUINING EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING- EVERYTHING RUINED!!" Pidge ceases his hesitation, and goes to grab O-11 as well!!

Longfur grabs Pidge as he gets in the way of the rabbit! Pidge is transformed......

Returned to the species he originally was.

A drattle.

Pidge
"G-GAH!!" Pidge pulls away quick as if it was fire, gasping. "Y-you-!"
Pidge
"GIVE. ME. THE RABBIT." ..And yet, he's powerless to stop her.
Longfur
"Why do you want my rabbit so much?"
O-11
O-11 clings to Pidge. "Ple-please please please!"
Pidge
"IT'S MY RABBIT. IT BELONGS TO ME. I'VE WASTED TOO MANY YEARS FOR YOU TO TAKE IT FROM ME! I DESERVE IT."
Longfur
"I wasted over 10,000 years to get my revenged on the notails. I deserve it......"
Knight
While all of this is going, Knight slides over to the actual bird cage they were going after, and tries to get it open, without the axe. Quietly. Ssh.
Knight rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +3. A 7 is rolled.

Sadly the cage did not open.

Amy
"Ahahaha, funny thing is, we came in here for the anomalous bird we heard you had, not the rabbit."
Amy
"But now that we're here we're not leaving without something at the very least."

WE'RE TAKING THE RABBIT, THIS TIME LET'S ACTUALLY DO THIS.
Longfur
"You can have the rabbit."
Amy
2024-12-19 05:50:34
Amy Profile
Posted by ID #53
Last edit: 2025-11-16 22:09:12
".......?"
Amy
"W-we can?"
Longfur
"Of course! You know what. I'm feeling kind. In fact. I got an anonymous letter from someone talking about this very situation. You can have the rabbit."
Longfur
"When I'm done with it."

Longfur grabs O-11, twisting his form as O-11 struggled to get out.

The room is being filled with a dark and vile shape.

[Igorrr - Moisissure]
2024-12-19 05:53:13
Profile
Posted by ID #2
Last edit: 2024-12-23 18:23:52
Amy
"...We should have just took the bird."
Longfur
"Enjoy your rabbit."
Longfur
"I'm going to be rewarded handsomely for doing this."
Amy
"I uh, sure thing."
Seven
2024-12-19 05:55:05
Seven Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-19 06:01:35
"Hhhhhiissss...."

For a moment, Seven is petrified by what just took place in front of him, by what the mushbird has been twisted into, by what exactly that rabbit once may have been. A moment of clarity hits him.
Pidge
Pidge takes a few steps backwards, holding his breath as the atmosphere in the room changes. It's vile. It's barely a shell of what it used to be.
Pidge
"..E-Eleven?" Another step backwards..
Knight
Knight presses into the corner of the room, on edge from whatever is going on. He prepares himself. He isn't sure what's going to have to be done, but he'll be prepared.
Seven
"HHH. WE. HAVE. TO. GO."
He tugs on Pidge's(?) ankles, nearly enough to draw blood.
Pidge
"C-CEASE-! I NEED TO.. I.." Pidge shakes his leg a bit, but he's frozen in place. The rabbit..
O-11
"Hrk....Buuuuuckingham? D-don't leeeave."
O-11
"Not...not without me....please.....yoooou promised. "
Pidge
"...W-we need to leave." It's not O-11. It's not O-11, Pidge reassures himself. Swallowing, pidge thinks on his feet- It picks up the gator to his side and makes an attempt to get the hell out of dodge.
O-11
O-11 hops forward, awkwardly still not used to his new form. He hunches over and grabs Pidge, hands shaking as soon as he does. The feeling is bliss to him, but horror Pidge. "To-to-together. You promised! Y-yoooou said I am yours."
O-11
"I am yoooours, Buckingham."
Knight
("Maybe adventuring is bad, actually....")
Knight
("...Nah, this rules. -^-")
Amy
Well uh, while we're horrified and on the edge of our seats maybe Harwon can [Secret Finder] us something? haha?

There are no secrets in here. Only horror.

Amy
Ahahahahahaha yeah.
Longfur
"Ah, true love."
Knight
"...Well, I'm not being paid enough for this. I'm not being paid at all! Bye! -^-"

Knight runs for it!
Knight rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +3. A 7 is rolled.

Knight is too entranced by the beast to move.

Amy
R-right! Running! We should probably do that!
Pidge
Pidge shakes, gripping the basudarex tightly (almost too tight). "OFF! OFF OFF GET IT OFF!!"

Still making a run for it. Unable to shake the rabbit. His, Forever.
Seven
"YOU- HISSS! MOTHERFUCKER! WATCH THE TAIL!"

Seven doesn't even try to shake from the drattle's grip. Idiot doesn't have thumbs.
O-11
O-11 is shaken off by Pidge. "Bu-Buckinghaaaaam. You said I am yoursssss."
O-11
2024-12-19 06:08:06
O-11 Profile
Posted by ID #53
Last edit: 2025-11-16 22:11:00
"You lie? You lie? You lie?" O-11 flies into a rage, wildly grabbing cages and throwing them around the room.
O-11
"Why wou-why would you lie!!!! Bu-Buckingham!"
O-11
O-11 looks at Seven. Seven is in the hands of HIS Buckingham. "Do.....do you love Seven?"
Pidge
"FINE! FINE! CEASE YOUR- CEASE YOUR THRASHING!!!" Pidge halts, gritting his teeth... He turns his attention towards Longfur "WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?!"
Longfur
"I just followed orders from a BLUE DEVIL."
Longfur
"And if I'm right. The pay off will be wonderful if this festival succeeds."
Longfur
"One rabbit, for what I'll get? It's a no brainer."
O-11
"Who?"
O-11
"Blue Devil......Chaos....P-1337."
Longfur
"Now, can you lovebirds leave my house?"
Pidge
"D-ddisgusting." Pidge grimaces... looking down towards Seven. "...Ww-we. Have much.. to talk aabout."
Seven
"Look, you fuckin' goblin. This shit isn't any of our fucking businessss- "
Pidge
...Pidge unceremoniously walks over to the window and drops Seven out of it. It's not a long drop. Also he does not care.
Seven
"-Ghk!!"

He tumbles out the window like a wet rag.
Amy
("Maybe anomaly hunter was a bad dayjob to pick, actually...")
Amy
("...Nah, this ruled.")
Amy
("...Somewhat.")
Pidge
...Pidge looks at the others, huffs.. and motions to O-11. What's left of him, anyways. "Come."
O-11
"!!!!!"
Amy
No complaints there. Time to leave.
Knight
Knight shuffles around the room to try and leave with the others and not draw too much attention to himself.
O-11
O-11 grabs Pidge and pulls him forward, hugging him just a bit too tightly. "Buckinghaaaaam......"
O-11
"I love you. I love you. I l-l-love-love you."
Pidge
"......" Pidge did not feel the same. And likely, it did not matter O-11. Nor will it ever will.
Longfur
Longfur takes a broom and pokes O-11 with it. "Shoo! Get the fuck out of here. You have what you want!"
O-11
O-11 silently looks at Longfur.
Longfur
".........................................................................." Longfur backs away, suddenly realizing that the thing she was looking at was far more powerful than she thought.
O-11
"Love you Buck-buckingham." O-11 pulls himself out of the window, Pidge still held tight.
Longfur
"......I better have been tricked."
END OF EXPO.
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