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STORY

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[Dashing and Bashing ยท Gareth Coker]
"Hey check out those uh, prisoners. They're just standin' around in a big fuckin' group."
"Yeah? What about it? Notails do that all the time man, they don't talk verbally if they can manage."
Zapp
2024-12-15 23:50:06
Zapp Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2025-11-17 15:45:19
"Just trying to start some "causal conversation" like you mentioned before, man."
"Well I gotta say, your notail fact was a bit boring there, dude."
"Keep talkin' to me like that and you'll get to find out what the inside of a capsule feels like."
"Like you could catch me."

Diana watches the two producers battle it out. The fairy dodges one way and then the other, while the ecton tries to grab him.

She doesn't stop. She doesn't ponder.

With a magazine in hand she stomps forward.

"You corrupted my brother."
"Kaaaaaren!!!! Haven't seen you in ages. Let me guess, your little boy saw "Office Fights Live" and now he's throwing tables?"
Zapp
2024-12-15 23:53:18
Zapp Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2025-11-17 15:46:07
"HAHAHAHA!!! Maybe she didn't have the brains to turn on parental controls and let her boy watch "The Fortuna Experience" and now he wants to be a little adventurer."
"Honestly, she looks like the type that'd get mad over the "corruption" caused by "Artists in the House!"
Zapp
2024-12-15 23:54:16
Zapp Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-15 23:55:24
"Tsk, bet you she's upset about Three Gondii-"
"Hey-"
"We agreed that one never happened."
"Stricken from the Bizz Business canon!!!!!!"
"Tell me right now why I shouldn't shoot you where you stand."
"Illegal."
"This is a lawless planet."
"U-Uh cause, fuck!"
"Because...."
"I'm too small to hit."
"But also if you kill us you'll never know where your brother is."
"So you want me to force you to talk?"
"Sweetie, I don't need to be forced to talk. I don't fucking shut up, tell her, Zapp!"
"This man never shuts the fuck up."
"Tell Bizz what you want, and he'll tell it to you. I'm not protecting any interns."
"Where is my brother?"
"Come on, give me something to work with, like a name!"
"Apollo. Roman Apollo."
"Never heard of him."
"........Yeah, never heard of that shit."
Zapp
2024-12-16 00:01:23
Zapp Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2025-11-17 15:46:50
"We don't hire bootlegs."
"The shit you talking about, Zapp? We hired you!"
"Next time you sit on my shoulder I'm throwin' you halfway to the next planet."
"You people are lying to me. He saw your advertisement in this, stupid magazine!"
"Let me be real serious with you right now. I don't have any reason to lie. I don't know a Roman Apollo, and if I did, I would give that shit directly to you to make sure I don't have to deal with you."

Bizz points to the castle.

"You want your brother, he likely went with the weirdos over there."
"If I had to take a wild guess, your brother got confused, then got scared of all the shit happening out here, so he ran to the safest place he could, and that's over there."
"How do I know you're not lying?"
"Because Bizz of Bizz Business ain't dying for no intern."

Diana crams the magazine into her cloak and trots past the two without another word.

"Smooth talkin', man."
"I don't know what you mean by smooth talking, I have no idea what in the Neo's ass she was yammering about! Can't believe Ms. doe eyes thinks anyone gives a shit about AI brands."
"Do we even have a Roman Apollo on our crew? I can't remember any of these people's names."
"Mmmmmmmmm..."
"I'm just going to say, it doesn't fuckin' matter."
"Honestly, if I was her brother, I'd run away too!"
2024-12-16 00:09:08
Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2025-11-17 15:48:12

Apollo pokes his head out from under one of the tents set up for the crew. The second he saw his sister he hid. He cursed himself silently after seeing her with his magazine.

He was an idiot, he left it right there on the floor when he left.

He couldn't escape his sister, and worst of all, he almost didn't want to hide. These people sucked. He thought being here would be amazing, but no one batted an eye at him. No one cared about who he was.

He wanted his sister to stop caring, and now he was surrounded by people who never would.

He nearly gives himself another "pep talk" but stops.

Apollo v1
2024-12-16 00:10:05
Apollo v1 Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-16 07:23:46
"I'm already taking shit from everyone else, I don't need to take shit from myself as well...."

When he comes back to attention, he finds that Bizz and Zapp have moved conversations, their interruption forgotten as fast as it started.

"Bizz we really don't have enough folks to make a "live audience.""

Bizz flutters about, counting every single guest, every single intern.

"You're right, even if we shoot our production values and turn most of the interns into audience members we don't have enough folks for this."
"Aaaaa.....Come on Zapp, we're going to need to help the interns make cardboard cutouts."
["Calisto Yew" - Theme - Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth]
"No need! I have a live studio audience right on the way!"
"Sweet! Where did you get them?"
"Kidnapping!"
"...................................................."
"................................................................."
"That's illegal."
"Lawless planet!"
"That's still kind of fucked up but mghmmm whatever.....man."
"It's ok for me to kidnap them-"
"Legally."
"Cause I found them, out in the middle of nowhere!!!!"
"Please don't tell me these are A-classes."
"Nope! Check em out, they're homeless!"
2024-12-16 00:17:55
Profile
Posted by ID #118
Last edit: 2025-11-17 15:49:11

Zookeeper scuttles over to a large group of aliens. Most of them are disheveled, tired, and confused.

"Apparently their space bus just dropped them here and left! What are the chances?"
"Zoo man, it's fucked up that you've done this, but I have to give you props for this nonsense plan you made."
"What nonsense plan?"
"Getting a bus load of people dumped right at our feet!"
"I didn't do that!"
"So.....hold up.....this bus full of people was dumped here for no reason?"
"If there's a reason, I don't know it!!!"
"All I know, is I sure do feel lucky about this!"
"The ole Bizz luck!"
Zapp
2024-12-16 00:21:38
Zapp Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-16 00:22:21
"Sniff sniff, you smell that Bizz?"
Zapp
2024-12-16 00:21:59
Zapp Profile
Posted by ID #8
Last edit: 2024-12-16 00:22:13
"Smells like somethin' reeks, and for once, it ain't us."
"Yeah, Zookeeper wouldn't lie about masterminding this."
"It's true! I have no intentions of coming off as redeemable in any fashion! If I did this, I would tell you, because you are my friend! <3"
"Well, we better hope whoever the fuck wanted these people don't come after us for nabbin' them."
"I sure hope they do come!"
"We can add them to our live audience!"
===END OF UPDATE===
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