STORY

STORY

KEKIKEKI

The current crew was tired of travelling the wastes. They all wanted off of this planet, so there was only one thing to do. Find fuel to get out of this joint.

They had the usual locations to check out.

The centeral tower where fuel would surely be sold.

The castle, where the locals might be convinced to hand fuel over.

And the wasteland, where no one could be sure of what went down.

There was also a fortune telling booth.

Seven has been walking around for hours, trying to find a god-blessed gas station that wasn't a skyscraper by now. Wasn't this place supposed to be a vacation? He's tired, upset, people are following him, and worse...
"...You know you don't have to follow me."
".............better. That I do."
G-17519
2024-12-16 07:07:36
G-17519 Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-16 07:08:28
"Oh, hey, it's that fortune teller booth...I wonder if the actual fortune teller is there yet. owo"
"Why the fuck did you even show up, anyways? Don't you have a cave somewhere to go cry in?"
Oh. Those two know each other. Ghost had just kind of...Shown up and started helping. He's just going to be quiet for now.
Seven passively follows Ghost to the fortune booth as he sneers at the shrimp.
Hash
2024-12-16 07:09:13
Hash Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 13:35:34
"i don't think anyone's gone to the wastelands yet. that'd be fun, save for the possibly dying parts. >B3"
Seven
2024-12-16 07:09:37
Seven Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-16 07:14:16
"You, uh, you two stragglers said you'd help me out. Booth? Sure, we can go to the booth. Just ignore the overgrown worm."
Hash
2024-12-16 07:11:14
Hash Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 13:35:04
"it's pretty hard to ignore a flesh worm. >B3"
"D-Don't worry, I'm very good at ignoring weird things. owo"
Pidge
2024-12-16 07:10:01
Pidge Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 16:12:27
"Heehhh. If I am not. Mmhh.. here to watch. Poor poor Sevvvenn may get. Lost. Ha." Pidge follows close behind.. He coughs, something caught in his throat...
"And joke's on you, asshole. I've been lost for hours! Welcome to 'being lost'."

The crew head into the fortune telling booth. Within is a unicorn covered in a cloak. A few cards are left out on the table, though the weak looking unicorn seems only vaguely interested in the group.

Those bright red eyes seem to ask...

What do you want?
"Kikikikikii-heeuuggh." Cough cough..
"Ew, what the fuck? Somebody left their horse here."
"That's so sad."
"I guess the fortune teller isn't here, then. Um...Hi, Horsey...? owo"

Ghost approuches the wounded unicorn.

"I can't believe people would do something like this to an animal... owo"
"i guess the horse IS the fortune teller, then. >B3"
"Horse. Employment."
"Aw shit, it grants wishes? Wait, waitwait, me first."
Have you come to insult me. Tell me what you want.
What questions do you have? If you have none, leave me be.
"Hey, do you sell gas?"
"Neigh!"
"well thats a first. never heard you neigh before. >B3"
Ghost is just genuinely concerned for the unicorn. He examines the wounds, and checks his bags to see if he has anything to give King to maybe help.
G-17519 rolls a 20 sided die. A 9 is rolled.

Ghost has no equipment that would help.

"Direction. Of. Mh. Ship fuel."
"Yo, fuck off, pigeon. It said 'neigh'. That's horse for 'No', but if it did, I asked first."
"You aasskked if they selll... ridiculous! Horses do not.. hh.. sell. Gas."
King points his horn in the direction of the central tower. If you are looking to barter for fuel.

King points his horn towards the castle. If you're looking to beg for fuel.

King points to the wasteland. If you're willing to fight for fuel.
"See? Smart.. horse.."
Hash
2024-12-16 07:18:25
Hash Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 13:36:42
"i'd rather fight than barter or beg. >B3"
Ghost glances at the two arguing weirdos with some concern. "I wish I had some medicine or something, but supplies are pretty tight...Sorry, horsey. I hope you feel better soon. owo"

He reaches out and tries to give King a little pat.
King
2024-12-16 07:19:03
King Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 14:20:32
Don't touch me, outsider.

King huffs and uses his horn to shoo away Ghost.
Ghost pulls away, and backs off. No petting today.
"Begging and fightin's free. But as a man of culture, I wouldn't mind purchasing said gasoline."
Seven has no money.
"Paycheck."
Ghost feels a little silly. He considers his questions carefully. Then he shuffles back up to the horse.

"I guess...While we're here, any all...I...want to help the people the Radical has hurt. Do you...have any advice? owo"
"Gods kinda hurt... passively. You're gonna be pulling some pretty considerable weight, guy."
Hash
2024-12-16 07:20:55
Hash Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 13:37:31
"there's probably a lotta people. maybe you should leave it to the n-classes. >B3"
"What do n-classes even do again? They fight god or sumn'?"
Don't waste your time on the past.
The dead are gone. If you want to do anything, focus on the living.
"...Alright. We can go now, guys. owo"

The crew moves to the central tower, but it seems they're too late. The store is currently closed. Despite this a neat and orderly line has formed outside of it.

Well, mostly orderly.

Some of the holy interns bite at each other as they try to skip the lines, each one accusing the other of being an anomaly as they click their tongues.

The crew is going to need to find another way in, unless of course, they wish to wait in line.

"Ugh! Closed!?"
Pidge continues to cough and retch... "MMgh..."
"And more shrimp. Great. Hey, Pidge, isn't this your crew? Go tell 'em to buzz off."
"The store is closed...I'm...not really that much of a capitalist. Maybe someone in line will have fuel to barter...? owo"
Hash
2024-12-16 07:25:05
Hash Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 17:35:24
"i could stab the shrimps, if you want. maybe kill a few. that'd make the line shorter. >B3"
"Break. In."
Seven
2024-12-16 07:26:13
Seven Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 17:35:47
"Stabbing and breaking in sounds badass, but Helen would kill me if I dragged any more of these fuckin' things back. Aren't these shrimp things supposed to be rare?"
"Not counting present sellouts. Maybe we can distract 'em with, uh, your guys'. Toys, or whatever. The gacha."
2024-12-16 07:30:21
Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-16 07:39:22

The capsule attempts to scare Ghost!

Fortuna rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +15. A 21 is rolled.

Ghost now has a phobia of round objects, including holes.

"AAAAAAAAH-" Ghost just screams. And briefly faints.
Seven
2024-12-16 07:31:34
Seven Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 13:41:36
"Ahh. Screaming. Why is he screaming they're just shrimp?"
Hash
2024-12-16 07:31:58
Hash Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 13:41:55
"those aren't the toy shrimps. those are anomaly shrimps, i think. >B3"
"Hhhh... Fine.." Pidge reels back.. cough-hack-splurtch-

Pidge spits up his own capsule onto the ground with force! Open open open!!
Pidge rolls a 20 sided die. An 18 is rolled.

Pidges capsule opens!

"hhhh......kikiki....ugh....."

"............"
"......" This is awkward....
Hash
2024-12-16 07:34:37
Hash Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 13:45:31
Hash nudges Ghost for a bit, before refocusing on the shrimp. "well then. >B3"
Ghost recovers from his fainting spell, and is no longer screaming. He slowly gets up and just...tries not looking at this. So many eyeballs. He's glad his face is a square.
Seven
2024-12-16 07:35:04
Seven Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 14:23:52
"..........." Seven... picks up the discarded capsule from Pidge's cekeki.
And tosses it into the crowd!

The holy interns in the line point at the capsules the group has with interest. The group better do something before they get too interested-

NEVERMIND.

"Get outta the fuckin' WAY!"
Hash
2024-12-16 07:36:08
Hash Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 13:44:02
"if you die, i'm running for it. >B3"
"Oh, so we have the same plan. Got it."
Hash
2024-12-16 07:36:26
Hash Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 13:44:17
"yeah! they'll be distracted. i could steal some gas, probably. >B3"
"W-We probably could just go in the back...owo"

The crowd is thrown into a frenzy as the capsule is thrown. They fight each other in the streets, spilling guts and flesh, yet all of them just shift their weight and keep fighting as if not injured.

One of them grabs the capsule and makes a run for it. Those who still have the ability to move give chase, while the more ruined members of the crowd pull their bodies with whatever limbs they have left towards where they last spotted the capsule.

The line is clear!

"........"
"I hate this place. owo"
Pidge
2024-12-16 07:38:05
Pidge Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 16:12:59
"....." Pidge.. takes a moment to pick up a discarded limb in his mouth...
Seven
2024-12-16 07:38:28
Seven Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 13:46:25
"Oh FUCK yes! Shit! I had an idea that WORKED!!" SEVEN BOLTS TO THE DOOR (he almost slips on some gore on the way in).
Ghost follows along, covering his eyes.
Hash
2024-12-16 07:38:38
Hash Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 13:46:51
"hm! that turned out wonderful. >B3" If there is a dead body, Hash automatically picks it up.
2024-12-16 07:42:22
Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 13:47:58

Members of the crew pick up stray body parts, but find that they are not dead, and instead grab and thrash around while picked up as if still trying to find a capsule.

The capsule attempts to scare Hash!

Fortuna rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +15. A 24 is rolled.

Hash has gained a deathly fear of circles and holes. Recovery will be an uphill battle filled with therapy.

"KikikiKIKIKIKIKIKIKI."
Hash
2024-12-16 07:41:46
Hash Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 13:48:37
"for FUCKS SAKE. >B3" This is even worse because his "face" is a circle.
Pidge
2024-12-16 07:43:07
Pidge Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 14:25:53
Pidge trots with an arm in his mouth and O-11 shrimp following along. "Ha. Ha. Look; Replacement, Seven."
"......"
Seven picks up the Suspicious Rabbit Cekeki and shakes it around a bit.

"Ha, ha. Look. Replacement, Pidge."
"............"
G-17519
2024-12-16 07:43:52
G-17519 Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 13:50:49
Ghost stands by the store's door, front of the "line."
The store finally opens after a few minutes.

"WELCOME TO OUR-"
"Where are all the customers?"
"Us."
"look outside. >B3"
"Got a better deal, or something. Hey, you sell gas here?"
"Oh hey, you're that weird box machine I put with the others that one time. You've got a body now! Neat. owo"
"Oh you're the person who did that! No one ended up taking the capsule I had in me, it was great! Until Zapp opened my head up, took it, and threw my product into a crowd. I would say I will never forgive him but I don't have the emotional capacity for that."
"Sad.....I guess we'll have to open to such few customers...."

[Malo Mart 10-hours]

Zookeeper leads the crew inside. Other than over priced pet supply items there's a "movie quality tallgoat" in the corner.

"He threw your what into a what? Huh???"
"He stole what I was selling and threw it away like trash. Leaving me empty."
Ghost is trying not to look at anything too round.

"J-Just so you guys know, I um...don't have any money. I'm still trying to figure out what money is. owo"
"Oh well, I'm used to being used."
Seven
2024-12-16 07:49:12
Seven Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 13:52:07
"Eehh, Look, dude, that sounds kinda gross, so actually, I'm great. TMI, hope you work out your problems with your guy."
Pidge
2024-12-16 07:47:56
Pidge Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-16 07:51:46
"Ship. Fuel. Ship fuel. Ship fuel."
Pidge
2024-12-16 07:48:43
Pidge Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 16:13:20
Pidge checks his points card for leftover mushbird funds.
Pidge rolls a 20 sided die. A 16 is rolled.

Pidge has a good amount of funds in his card, but not enough to buy the movie quality tallgoat.

Pidge
2024-12-16 07:51:18
Pidge Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-16 07:51:59
"Pointtsssshhh..."
"Fuel? Why would you ever want fuel?"
"This is the best place in the universe! There's no reason to leave."
"Business venture."
"What sort of business could you have off this planet?"
"...I'm a communist. owo"
"i do actually have places to be, robot. >B3"
"also i dont want to be on the jail for my species for joining a game show crew or something >B3"
"The place is literally, and I mean actually called 'Prison Planet.'"
"Oooooh don't worry about this being a prison planet! We're rebranding!"
"Sniff....this was supposed to be the grand opening of the planet's new name, but it's been ruined!"
"I mean, I dunno 'bout you notails. Maybe they love it here. I know my shrimpy lil' guy does."
Pidge
2024-12-16 07:58:21
Pidge Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-16 07:58:54
"You do not have mushrooms. I do."
"...You...don't own this planet. The Notail union owns this planet. How can you rebrand it...? owo"
"also the o-classes will probably murder you or something for doing this. >B3"
Hash
2024-12-16 07:59:33
Hash Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 17:36:34
"i mean, Princess practically lives here. >B3"
"Snerk. I'd like to see the notail Union try to claim this planet."
"This is a corporate takeover, baby!!!!"
"Heeeyyy, maybe you just need a branding team, somebody to market-off planet? Spread the good word? They'll probably need some gas to do so."
"Like me. Sell me some gas. Do you have gasoline or what?"
"Psssst here's a little insider tip, scared of being nuked?"
"Move next to the only useful building on the planet!"
"Then invite tons of aliens to come over with a cool new show!"
G-17519
2024-12-16 08:01:02
G-17519 Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 13:54:11
...
Hash
2024-12-16 08:01:12
Hash Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 13:54:25
...
Zookeeper
2024-12-16 08:01:27
Zookeeper Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 16:04:11
"Nuking us would be a universal PR disaster!"
"I do not wish for anymore filming of myself. I only. hhh... wish... to sell. Birds."
"Y-You're kind of fucked up, huh? owo"
"Won't all the A-classes and monsters be bad for business...? owo"
"You are calling me fucked up."
"For figuring out a way to not be nuked?"
"i dont think the people that live here will be happy about this. >B3"
"You're basically using a bunch of aliens as meatshields. owo"
"And in return, I have removed poverty from the aliens!"
"Also I'd like to see any other aliens bomb this location with me around."
"Sounds like a lotta effort, blockhead. Ever thought about, like... digital wholesale or something?"
"its... not really for you to decide, i think. >B3"
"...Wait. You removed the poverty? So this isn't capitalist? owo"
"Oh those poor poor prisoners, attacked by wild aliens and A-classes."
"But with this new big city in the way....they're protected....."
"See, we profit off of each other."
("i bet theyll drop the next few a-classes right here. >B3")
Pidge
2024-12-16 08:06:20
Pidge Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 16:14:16
.....Pidge grows bored of this. He looks for ship fuel in the isles on his own while everyone is speaking.
"I have fuel. It is not for sale."
"Hint, everything has a price."
"...If this is a capitalist system, then some people are going to be taking money from poorer people, and thus poverty is still a thing...but if poverty is removed, then that means everyone gets free food, water, and shelter, then...But there's still money for stuff...I guess it's not unlike entertainment vouchers back home...But then...Okay, never mind, this is hurting my head. owo"
"................."
"What?"
2024-12-16 08:07:37
Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-16 08:11:17

The capsule tries to scare Pidge!

Fortuna rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +15. A 28 is rolled.
2024-12-16 08:08:06
Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 14:20:46

The idea of circles makes Pidge want to throw up. He will pass out if he sees a hole.

"............."
Pidge
2024-12-16 08:08:28
Pidge Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 16:14:54
Pidge curls up in on himself. However this is also a circle and that makes him straighten back out and splay himself over the floor as to avoid making another circle. This looks ridiculous.
Hash side eyes the red tallgoat.
"is... anyone gonna grab that tallgoat? >B3"
"The tallgoat is for sale, it's not free."
Seven
2024-12-16 08:12:41
Seven Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-16 08:14:36
"Do you, like, want this shitty bird that I hate? For the fuel? I can trade you this bird that I hate for the fuel."

He holds out a mushbird. It's gross.
"Hmmmmmm that bird is...alright, but I'm not trading you fuel for it. How about a tallgoat instead?"
Hash
2024-12-16 08:14:11
Hash Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 13:58:23
"you can't have mine! >B3"
"Open it! Open it you- hhhhhhh Open it you Foolsssh!! Break the dreaded Circular object!"
"Circle? AAAH-" Ghost glances at the capsule and tries to punt it in a panic.

Ghost cannot punt the capsule, he's too scared!

"Hold on, give me that fucking toy. I'm trying to get my goat here." Seven storms over and attempts to open the capsule himself.
Seven rolls a 20 sided die. A 4 is rolled.
2024-12-16 08:15:48
Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 13:58:48

Seven fails to open the capsule! The capsule is scaring Seven!

Fortuna rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +15. An 18 is rolled.

Seven hates circles with all his heart. He goes into a rage when he sees circles now!

Ghost is hyperventilating in a corner now.
"What is wrong with you people......"
Pidge
2024-12-16 08:16:57
Pidge Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 16:15:19
Pidge gurgles and spits. "Rabbit! Rabbit! Open it, open it open it!!!" He points at his shrimp and then at the capsule.
Pidge rolls a 20 sided die. A 15 is rolled.

The rabbit opens the capsule.

But it's about to ruin some people's lives.

"eeeee" Seven...

Seven walks away from the capsule. He holds his mushbird to his head like a little funny pillow to calm himself down.
2024-12-16 08:18:24
Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 14:37:08

"KIKIKIK IKIIIIIZZZZZKIIIIII!!!!!!"

GHOST PASSES OUT.
SEVEN IS SET INTO A RAGE.
PIDGE IS KNOCKED OUT.
HASH PASSES OUT.

Seven
2024-12-16 08:19:33
Seven Profile
Posted by ID #107
Last edit: 2024-12-16 08:19:40
"BITE KILL KILL." SEVEN BLINDLY THROWS HIS MUSHBIRD AT IT.

[INSTANT KILL], DEAR GOD, [INSTANT KILL]!!!!!
Seven rolls a 20 sided die with a modifier of +20. A 27 is rolled.

The mushbird rips up the creature to pieces! No more holes! No more circles!

Still...most of the team is still knocked out.

"FUCK! HATE! WOW!"
"Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo."
"........."
"...............Hold on."
Seven. Walks over to Pidge's unconscious body and takes his points card. He waves it and the mushbird around.

"So, what was that about sellin' me some gas?"
Pidge twitches but is still very much KO'd.
"How could I reject a two for one offer?"
"But, listen up, if you're interested, I need a job done...."
"If you move out all those body parts outside, I'll throw in a free tallgoat!"
"Actually, hold that thought."
Seven picks up Pidge by the scruff, holding him up.

"I like that goat. But hate that idea! So TWO pets. My AWESOME epic win shrimp who I LOVE, and this mushbird, and all these points."
Pidge
2024-12-16 08:23:54
Pidge Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 16:15:35
He's drooling.
"....Or maybe these guys can help you out with that later. Uh. They'll wake up, eventually."

Eventually...
"You drive a hard bargain......"
"I accept the creepy sausage man!"
Seven
2024-12-16 08:25:07
Seven Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 14:16:31
"You? Are going to Love. This doggy."

He drops Pidge to the floor with a wet splat, giddily making his way over to the tallgoat.

The tallgoat lets Seven take its leash.

Gurgle.
"Errr..."

He eyes the people on the floor, giving Hash and Ghost a nervous nudge with his foot as he leads the goat out, gas-cans in hand.
"Feh, you guys were all sellouts, anyway. But I'll put in a good word with that wish-granting horse if I see 'im again. My wish sure as hell came true!"
2024-12-16 08:26:19
Profile
Posted by ID #262
Last edit: 2025-11-17 14:17:05

A particularly circular puddle of gore catches him off-guard, and he hastily scrambles away before he has any second thoughts (or before the Zookeeper can see how scared he is...)

FUEL GET!
No one is typing.