MAYBE THEY'RE THE ONLY ONE YOU CAN TRUST
YOUR PURCHASE WAS PREDETERMINED
It is not possible to choose to buy a pony. As far as I have been told, ponies are the most intelligent beings to exist. Meeting a pony is a predetermined event. Even if you buy a grow your own pony kit, this was planned out by your pony thousands of years before you were born. I think this is all rather irrational. It’s said that every pony has a goal. That it acts in random ways to manipulate the universe itself, random values within the atoms. Personally, I believe they are just mindless animals. Maybe that is what brings me comfort.
AN OLD ALLY IN NEW FORM
Ponies were brought over to replace an animal known as a “Horse” from old history. Companions to humans, it is said that two were inseparable until mechanical versions were made. Better horses. Humanity drifted away from their steeds, as they should. Yet I see a sense of romanticization in people’s eyes when they talk about old history and the companionship between man and horse. I suppose our love for memories we’ve never had changes the truth of the world.
NOTABLE EPISODES FROM MY CHILDHOOD
EPISODE 2.279 × 10⁸
In this episode Starlight Moon and the other ponies are having fun in a field when she suddenly becomes worried as she looks at the stars above. She spends the whole episode running around in an attempt to get the other ponies to join her on a spaceship she built but the others are not interested. She lowers her head in sadness, gets on her spaceship and flies away. Starlight proceeds to watch the planet swirl many times around its star, before it suddenly is destroyed. Starlight Moon sighs and heads deep into space.
EPISODE 7.783 × 10⁸
Horsie Rooney isn’t a pony, but desperately wants to be, believing them to be better than others of his kind. He runs away to join the ponies and finds them fun to follow and listen to. The ponies over time grow tired of Horsie Rooney and leave. Horsie Rooney realizes that he could never understand the ponies anyway, and meets back up with the other horsies. He learns to understand that while they are tattered and filled with fluff, they are like him. He even shows off that he too has a small tear on his belly. Miles away all the ponies begin to trot in a circle and dance as the episode ends.
EPISODE 4.497 × 10⁸
Hunger Pains the pony attempts to move, but finds Paradox Love in his way everywhere he goes. Even when he believes he has lost them, they appear in his way later without fanfare. Hunger Pains is forced to cross terribly strong rivers, intense deserts, and even a hostile forest all because of the pony standing in his way. In the final scene, he finds a lush field with more than enough fruits for him to eat for the rest of his life. Paradox Love turns around and wanders away, leaving the Hunger Pains unbothered for once.
HAVE THEY PICKED YOU TODAY?
It is not up to us who is able to buy a pony. If you have been picked to buy a pony, the option to do so will be below. Else you must come at another time...another place. Who knows if you'll ever be able to chosen by a pony of your very own?