Physical Description

If I am to personally describe myself... I am drattle of fairly average height and build, despite what others may attempt to convince you of. Yes, should you happen to cast your gaze upon me you'd find that I have light green skin, freckles upon my face (but no blemishes!). I tend to allow my natural goatee to grow out, as it differentiates me from my family members (whom I despise greatly). Black hair, thin mustache that's as crooked and twisted as my demeanor. I have two large and fearsome fangs that protrude from my mouth, similar to tusks but not so terribly ridiculous looking. I am told that I have a rather large nose, which I am inclined to agree but I do not think it takes away from my devilishly handsome looks.

As the rest of my family does, my attire is heavily inspired by that of the first Buckingham. A black tuxedo is my formal wear, red bowtie and pink peony pinned to my breast. However, should you catch me on a more casual day, a black turtleneck suffices when I am not feeling up to the task of getting all gussied up. These articles of clothing were tailored from the finest, most expensive of silks and angoras (unethically sourced, of course), with colors to match that of my hat appendage.

*Editor's note: The average height for an adult drattle is roughly five feet. Should you mention this in any way, Buckingham XXI makes a rather big stink about it. Mind you this is funny the first couple times but otherwise could ruin us evil henchmen's days if he takes it out on us. Please be considerate, think of the henchmen.

Personality

Ah yes, you wish to know my charming, yet fiendish personality! Depending on who you are or how you are to approach me, knowing me may be a delight.. Or your worst, most feared nightmare. You should know I am quite the gentleman when approached with some courtesy in mind, respect for the Buckingham name is key. My title carries the weight of a thousand crimes, and those who do not pay me the respect that comes with such a title will be subjected to my wrath. Being cordial will get you much farther, yes, however I am the final judge of who I am sociable with. If I am to.. Mmh, how would you say.. Disagree with your 'vibes'... let's put it this way, you'll be hastily seeing yourself out of my life, most likely in a body bag. Or worse!

As someone who has been given the responsibility of the Buckingham name, I am upholded to an important standard; being simply the worst I can be. That in terms of a drattle, being the worst is to be the very best! In my life I've enacted many, many foul crimes. From holding innocents hostage, bank heists, tripping waitresses- the works. However, as painful it is to admit, I am rarely ever acknowledged for my horrible acts. Dear reader, if you could imagine how I feel, months of planning going into committing an act so greatly destructive and evil... swept under the rug! As if others are convinced that I am incapable of ruining lives! The very nerve of you all! It is my life's goal to live up to my name, and even if I feel as though I've already earned the same place in the drattle hall of infamy, I've yet to receive such an honor.

Might I make one more thing clear; I am in no way intimidated by those who present themselves superior to me. This is because I, Lord Buckingham the Twenty-first, know that I may trump any being that stands to oppose me! I am quite aware of my limitations, but regardless of those I am able to overcome all that wish to mock me, treat me as lesser, or stand taller than I.

History

As you may already know, when Buckingham the First felt as though fate would soon be catching up to him, he created 20 clones of himself, so that he may never truly die. And like my siblings, I would never come to know my 'father', only knowing the stories of his life and accomplishments.

In a room in the deepest depths of the mansion I was born in, all 20 clones were nearly finished with their incubation periods, all tucked away into their respective tubes. However, it was soon discovered that one had a rather grave issue... A blort! Of all things, had begun to manifest within the tube marked as clone #21. If they should have let the blort continue to exist, it would have surely absorbed the clone into its mass... I am what they would call, 'premature'. Of course, this would not go on to affect my growth later on in life, but I was indeed a very small drattle upon birth. Even when my siblings were born a week after my arrival, setting an unfortunate precedent for my future: My siblings were all much larger and healthier than I, leaving me to be the runt of the litter.

Should you ask me now, I shall not hold back at all when I speak of my siblings. They're all, horrid, terrible people- both in terms of how drattles view being 'terrible' (but not quite as much as I), and in terms of them being incredibly unpleasant to have known all my life. Growing up was a challenge, having to regularly compete with 19 others, and avoiding being tormented by the pecking order of Buckinghams. Nothing that I have grown to overcome in my adolescence, but these days I speak to them as little as possible, with the exception of conference calls. You see, I may call them 'siblings', but our relationship is strictly professional, which I am content to keep as such.

Special

ME: I AM SO VERY, TERRIBLY SPECIAL. I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO SAY THIS MYSELF.

Notable Family

With that all out of the way, I find it only appropriate to describe to you my siblings, as the former document attempted to accomplish. After all, even if this is MY entry, my family background is at least somewhat important information to those who have decided to peruse this article. You would find that my first experience with these people would be a far better source of accurate information. The following are those I have deemed 'noteworthy' enough to mention, nevermind much of the long since dead fellows.

Buckingham I: Now... I do have one misgiving about my predecessor. Despite what stories you may have heard or read, the tales of grandeur, a super villain going out with a bang heard around the universe... We don't actually know what happened to Buckingham the First. A curious thing it is, there was never a body ever recovered, the only things left of him that we ever found was a handwritten will, and the mansion with all his decades worth of treasures.

I'm not one to really speculate, as all is said and done and no one has seen The First in almost 50 years now. If he was alive, where could he have gone without anyone knowing for this long?

Buckingham III: My sister the third, or should I say my sister in thirds. The former document claims that she is unable to move, but I must beg to differ! Her containment is well capable of movement, but as she's expressed before she sees no reason for her to get up off her mechanical rump to do anything if she has her robotic assistants. She skimps out on conference calls by sending a robot to do the job! Very unprofessional.

Buckingham IX: Eugh, the 9th and his frankly unsettling army of brainwashed somnambulists. If me and my siblings agree on one thing, it is that these brain dead henchmen are creepy... But, admittedly, they are useful. The 9th is near constantly recruiting more and more into his personal army and.. Well, useful or not, it's weird! I hate seeing them in the back of his video calls, shuffling around like the undead.

Buckingham XI & XII: Simply put, the twins are a headache. If one is not boasting about their recent petty robberies, the other is spouting off about their large 'fanbase'. Why draw so much attention towards themselves, won't it attract the attention of law enforcement? It's sickening, the both of them! Neither of them stop chattering during calls, dragging them out for hours, I don't see how the others tolerate it.

Buckingham XVII: Sister 17th. I only see her more favorably than the others because she doesn't say quite as much as the rest of the idiotic family. What I do know of her, she has a rather touchy, prickly personality. I've seen the 20th push her buttons once before, it was not pretty seeing her seethe like that, and we did not see her for at least a month after.

Buckingham XX: Ah yes, my LEAST favorite sibling, the 20th... I blame him for most, if not all of my troubles while growing up. He is the tallest of all of us, freakishly tall, and is quick to remind me whenever we are speaking to another. Calls himself leader, threatens to cut me and my siblings from our funding... Bah! For all I care, the 20th can choke to death on whatever he stuffs into his fat gob.

Trivia

• The document that came before had mentioned this briefly, in the very few words that did speak of me, and I must confirm this as true: I am indeed happily married to O-11 of the notail government. An arranged wedding, one that the notail race should be honored to have any part in whatsoever! To be unioned with a Buckingham of all drattles... Anyways, my dearest O-11 hardly leaves their residence at all, I as well only make the rare appearance outside of my mansion. What I am trying to say is, perhaps someday.. Our marriage may be experienced, outside of the Virtual Reality simulators. It's been about 8 years, I think maybe we'll be ready to meet.. In the next decade, or so.

• Back home in the mansion I grew up in, our caretakers had been prolific thornhead breeders in addition to being the First's prior henchmen. I've since taken the torch of raising thornheads on the side. Call it a hobby of mine, but my thornheads keep me company the days I am unable to draw up schemes, or when I find myself brooding over my failures in the past.

• ...Not that I am a failure, that is. Nor have I failed that much! If at all, really!

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